Freedom
by Ayanna2495
Summary: 1783: Lillian is staying with her uncle, who is detaining her in a gilden cage. But even though she is more than unhappy with her situation, Lillian is always surrounded by people, who are worse of than she is. But one night a hooded stranger appears and Lillian gets the chance to free others from their imprisonment. And herself.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey :)_

 _This is my first fanfiction I have ever written and it´s originally written in German. You can find the link to the original version on my profile. I do the translation on my own, so I hope that my grammar and vocabulary aren´t completely a mess. If they are…well, you are allowed to tell me. ;)_

 _The cover-image was drawn by me.  
_

 _I hope you will enjoy this story.  
_

 ** _Of course I do not own anything of the AC-Universe!_**

* * *

 **Free but enchained**

 _January, 1783_

„Is this understood? Lillian? Lillian, are you listening? "

Irritated I lifted my head and looked in the reproachful eyes of my uncle, who drummed indignantly with his fingertips on the tabletop. We were having dinner, which had run quietly so far. As always. I had let my mind wander to the book, which I´d been reading for some days now and which was waiting for me in my room upstairs. Lost in thoughts once, I rarely noticed what was happening around me. Just as now. "Pardon me. I…what did you say?"

"I said, that I don´t want to see you tomorrow morning. I´m having guests and there are important things, we have to talk about and I´m not going to accept interruptions by you. Is this understood?"

I nodded slowly, although I wanted to disagree and ask, which kind of visitors my uncle was expecting and when they were going to arrive. But I knew, that my uncle wouldn´t tell me anyway. In his house, everything and everyone had to follow his lead and he was a man, who couldn´t brook opposition. Especially from a woman.

"Very well then." Uncle Richard took a fabric napkin, speckled clean his mustache and gave a sign to the three servants aside, who stepped out of the shadows in the candlelit room, to clear the table. Even though my plate was just halfly drained, I said nothing when it was taken away. When my uncle had decided, that dinner was over, it was over. He rose from his seat and left to his typing pool, without saying a word. Narrowly I could hold back a deep sigh, before I stood up and headed, with slowly steps, for my room in the first floor.

It was dark in here, because I had turned off all the lights, before I went down, but it didn´t bother me. I loved the darkness. I could think best, when it was dark around me. I closed the door and felt my way to the window, to sit down on the ledge and look into the night. Alike many times before, I asked myself, how life was looking like somewhere else. Were there feasts celebrated? Did families sit together, laughing and talking about the passed day? Were there any others like me, who were sitting in the darkness and felt lonely? The sigh, I had held back in the dining room, broke out now and I closed my eyes. I felt, how tears of desperation were blazing their way up.

I hated my uncle. He was a pedant. A tyrant. A man, who was used to it, that everything and everyone was dancing after his pipe. Because I was dependent on his mercy, I had to do as he wished. Without him, I would be nothing. My parents had died, when I was nine years old. At that time, we had lived in London and I could still remember the day, when I had to leave my parental home and move to my grandparents. Both of them had been very old already and it had been obvious, that they wouldn´t be able to raise me, but they had done their best, that I wanted for nothing and that I felt sheltered. But everything had changed, when the guardianship had been assigned to my uncle. To my "welfare". To this unmarried, heartless man, who basically just wanted my heritage. As my warden, he was also the disposer of my parents wealth, they had devised. I was only a means to an end for him and besides a nuisance.

My time in his care wasn´t a happy one. Till this day, I was a bird in a gilded cage. Had to bear his moods and to do, as he wished. Even though I was twenty-four years old. Women at my age were married and took care of at least five children. Richard didn´t even allow me to talk to a man. To wed me, would mean, that he wouldn´t have my parents money at his disposal anymore. Provided that it was still existing. He didn´t even left me behind, when he had decided to go to America, a year ago. While I had friends in London, I was alone now, here in the outland. Isolated from the outside world, which was just wilderness all around the property. It took a semidiurnal journey with the carriage to reach Boston, the nearest city. Consequently, my life was quiet lonely and who was wondering, that I loved to spend my time with reading books and dreaming about better times. However they could look like.

There was a knock on the door and I was startled out of my somber thoughts. I wiped away the tears, which had found their way on my cheeks and granted, with a hoarse "Yes, please?", the permit to come in. The door opened and it took several blinks, until my eyes got used to the light in the hallway, which fell into my room. "Please, excuse the disruption, Miss." A young woman, with a dark skin and pitch black hair, entered, lowering her head, her voice nothing more than a whisper. "I wanted to ask, if there is anything you need and to prepare your bed for the night."

Anya was my servant and probably the only person, I was regularly in contact with. I could even exaggerate and assert that she was my only friend, but because she never dared to look at me, or even talk to me freely, I feared that this friendship would be an one-sided one. Nevertheless, I liked her and I was annoyed about her, being so reserved in my presence. Almost as she would be afraid of me.

"Thank you, Anya. Do whatever you have to do and then, you are allowed to leave. I won´t need you today." I gave her a friendly smile, which she couldn´t see because of her gaze being directed to the floor. But I hoped, that at least the kindness in my voice had found its way to her. Quietly I watched Anya inflaming the lamps beside my bed, filling a few of the igneous coals from the fireplace into a coppery bed-pan, putting it under my blanket and finally taking my nightgown out of the cupboard and laying it tidily on my bed. She was doing all of that in a stoic routine, without looking at me once.

"Do you want me to help you out of your clothes?", she asked and lifted her head, shortly enough to see me shaking my head. "You are allowed to leave. Thank you, Anya."

The dark-haired nodded, curtsied and left. I was alone again and even though I had let her go, I wished that Anya would have stayed.

I often had tried to involve her into a conversation, but unsuccessfully. Like all the other servants here, Anya was essentially afraid of my uncle. No one of them was here by choice. They were slaves, coming from every corner of the world and reduced to property and they were treated as such by Richard and the men, he had hired as overseers. I despised them for their doings and tried to treat the men and women with kindness and respect, what they seemed to be even more afraid of. Like Anya.

 _They are prisoners like you. But you are considerably better of_ , crossed it through my mind and frustrated about my just existed self-pity, I started to remove the hair pins and slides from my hair, left my seat, ridded myself of my clothes, put on my nightgown, removed the bed-pan from the mattress and laid down on my preheated bed. I didn´t want to ponder anymore and so I spent almost the whole night with reading, before the oil in the lamps was exhausted and the light extinguished. Not till then, I slid into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

In the deep of the night, the beating of hoofs on flagging and the rumbling of a cart tore me out of my sleep. As long as it took for me, to keep my eyes open, I laid quietly in my bed and listened into the darkness. From the yard, the voices of several men got to my ears and one of them I recognized as my uncle´s. What did he do out there, in the middle of the night? I straighted up slowly and was shivering a bit, as the blanket slid from my shoulders. It was terribly cold in my room, because the blaze in the fireplace was already extinguished. Even though I would prefer to wrap myself into my blanket again, my curiosity had succeeded and I stood up and went to the window, from where I could take a look out into the yard. My uncle stood with five of his men around a horse-drawn prison-cart and spoke to the coachmen. I couldn´t see his face or hear what he was saying, but he seemed to be angered. Under wild gesticulation, he talked at the coachmen and pointed to the cart, again and again. I didn´t need to be clairvoyant to know what, or better to say, who was in there. More slaves, but until now I had thought, that our "capacities", how my uncle used to call it, were already utilized and I didn´t like the thought, that more poor souls were housed here now.

The conversation down in the yard was already finished and some of the men opened the cart, whereupon eight dark-skinned figures got out, one after another. My uncles henchmen led them behind the house, probably to the slave-huts and out of my sight. My uncle was talking to the coachmen once again and the man actuated the cart and drives away. Richard stayed a while motionless, before he turned and entered the house. Myself returned to my bed, but my tiredness was gone. What did just happened out there? That my uncle used to do business with other slave-traders, wasn´t new to me. But I had never seen him so tight in doing so and above all, these businesses never took place in the deep of the night. My feeling told me, that there had to be something else behind all this and it shouldn´t take so long, before I should learn, what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Conversations**

Shafts of sunlight, falling through my window straight to my face awoke me. Mumbling quietly, I pulled the blanket over my face and wished, the night would had last a few more hours. I felt totally slained, because it has taken ages, until I had fallen asleep again. I had been sitting in my bed the whole night, staring into the darkness and thinking about, what had happened down in the yard. How could I had thought about sleep, as long as I knew about the people, who had to suffer under my uncle?

A silent knock on the door sounded and I emerged from under my blanket. Anya opened the door and carried in a tray, with a steaming bowl and a likewise steaming cup on it. Irritated I wrinkled my forehead. Did I sleep so long, that I had missed breakfast? Normally I never got my food delivered to my bed. "Because your uncle wishes no interruptions I thought, I let you sleep a bit longer and I bring your lunch to you", said Anya and placed the tray on the bedside table.  
"Lunch? Is it that late already?" Appalled by my own sleepiness, I sat up and looked to the bowl with hot pea-stew inside. I had really overslept the whole morning. Sighing I closed my eyes, opened them again and looked to Anya, who had already started to refire the fireplace. "Does my uncle still have visitors?", I asked and took carefully the bowl and spoon from the tray. The pot was wonderfully warm and its content still so hot, that I had to blew, just to prevent, that I would burn my mouth by taking the first spoon.

"Only Mr. Gardner", was the short answer to my question, which made me wrinkle my forehead again. Jeffrey Gardner was a business associate to my uncle, who disposes over a great reputation in London as well as here in America. Furthermore he was the so called grandmaster of the templar order, whose member my uncle was. I myself, had nothing to do with it and I didn´t even like all this secretiveness, which seemed to be the whole essence of this order. Its members were always talking about confusing and cryptic things, which I would never be able to understand, as the stupid woman I was. That was my uncles opinion, but I didn´t want to understand it anyway. Mr. Gardner, anyhow, possessed much more charm than anyone of his templar-brothers, which was why I felt his presence as passably pleasant. But that he was sitting together with my uncle in confidence, disturbed me. Gardner rarely pays a visit alone and so this exception had to have a meaning.

I put the bowl back on the tray, turned down the blanket and stood up. "Help me into my clothes", I instructed Anya, who gave me a surprised gaze. "But you didn´t eat yet, Miss."  
I shook my head and waved aside, whereupon Anya went slightly insecure to the cupboard and took out my corset and my shift dresses. "Do you prefer a certain dress…?"  
"It doesn´t matter, just hurry. Please." A surprised gaze again, but Anya started to dress me wordlessly. During the whole procedure, especially during the protracted tying of the corset, my feet were stepping anxiously in place, which made it even more difficult to the Afro-American, to ran the laces through the openings. But she didn´t complain about it once and even when I sat down hastily at the washstand and started likewise hastily to brush my hair, after she had dressed me, she didn´t comment my behavior. Of course not.

When my dark-brown hair finally fell tidily over my shoulders and I had powdered my face, I looked to Anya through the mirror. "Do I look like I just jumped out of my bed and like I was too lazy to get my hair done?" Anya lifted an eyebrow for a split second but then, a smirk was getting visible on her lips. "No, Miss."  
"Fine." I smiled and stood up. "Then we will pay a visit to the gentlemen downstairs." Determined I went to the door and stepped into the hallway, when Anyas voice held me back. "Your uncle doesn´t want to be disturbed." Her concern was hearable in her voice and I did understand why. She was afraid of the anger, my uncle was going to evolve, when he would learn about me, being disobeying his orders. But even though I normally shared her fear, this time I did not care. I had to know, what was going on. I was never mistaken about my feeling and now it was telling me, that there was a serious connection between the events of last night and the conversation between the two men. "Stay here, if you don´t want to accompany me." I gave Anya a comforting smile, before I went down the stairway.

It was silent in the entrance hall and even when I listened to the parlour, I couldn´t hear any voices. Certainly they were in the typing pool. I gathered my skirts and went down the hallway, as quiet as I could. One of the slaves, who was cleaning the floor, stood up in scare, when I came along the corner and lowed devoted his head. I laid a finger to my lips and implied him to leave. I didn´t want him to be punished, if Richard should catch me. The young man seemed to understand, because he lowed his head once again, took his cleaning-implements and went down the hallway. Now I stayed alone in front of the decorated, oaken door and tightly I laid my ear on the plain wood. Inside I could actually hear the voices of my uncle and Mr. Gardner. Former seemed to be as angered as he had been last night.

"I thought, I made clear, that it doesn´t work", he was saying in this moment."It´s enough, that the whole world is talking about freedom and equality. Slaves are not as requested as they were before and the government is even talking about the abolition of slavery. When I start to receive more of this vermin, one day the mob will stand in front of my house."  
"This is not about the slaves, my friend", interrupted him the calm voice of Gardner. "It is about our order´s enemies you should take away from here. And with that, I also mean the three of them, belonging to the men brought to you last night. They are in cahoots with our enemies and now, when the assassins are as weak as they have never been before, we cannot let them get any possible support."  
"I thought the murderer of grandmaster Lee was pegged out by his injuries."  
"It seems so. No one has seen him for a long time now. We rarely know about his confederates, the gaffer among them, alike the two, who has been with him."  
"Are they assassins?"  
"In their imagination. Small fry, who want to benefit from the doubtful glory of their friend. My men spoke to them but except of the old man, the others have basically no idea, what is going on. They don´t even know what an assassin is. Their friend kept them in the dark about his…doings."  
"I heard there are people who idolize him as a great warrior, just because Washington prefers him." My uncle bristled with anger, before he continued talking. "A wild mutt and a warrior, don´t make me laugh."  
"Don´t anger about him. Just prepare the transport to London and I will take care about everything else. As soon as this is done, you can go back to your businesses."

Armchairs were moved, wherefore I hurried to get away from the door and hastened down the hallway, back to the entrance hall. Not a second too early. I had barely made it around the corner, when the door to the typing pool opened and the steps of the men came into my direction. I climbed up a few stairs and pretended afterwards, that I would currently come down the stairway, when my uncle and Mr. Gardner entered the entrance hall. The response to my presence was differential. While Richards eyes narrowed and his jaw started to grind in anger, Mr. Gardner came to me with a friendly smile on his lips. He helped me to come down the last stairs and then kissed the back of my hand.

"Miss Lillian. As always, it is a pleasure to see you. I get the feeling, that you are more and more beautiful, with every time we meet."  
"Thank you, Mr. Gardner." I bowed my head shortly and gave him a smile, that made his become expanding. Like I said, he was a very charming man, who never was sparing with compliments. Furthermore he was, even though he was slightly younger than my uncle, quiet handsome. His formerly black hair was graying, he was slim but athletic and his blue eyes were glancing, full of life. Although I normally felt uncomfortable in getting compliments, I was enjoying it, when these compliments were given by Gardner. His presence was always a nice relief to my uncles and the brawny shrunken heads, he called employees.

"I´m extremely sorry, but I have to bid farewell, even though I would love to enjoy your presence a bit longer." The sorrow in Gardner voice sounded real and so I bowed my head in respect, when he blowed again a kiss on the back of my hand, before he turned around to my uncle. "We discussed everything. Send a message, when there is something new." With these words, Gardner bid farewell and left us. Uncle Richard scrutinized me closely and for a moment I thought, that he knew, that I had listened to their conversation. I had to concentrate on holding me of wrestling my hands nervously or showing him anyway else, that I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. I even had to hold back a gasp of relief, when he looked away. "I have to take care of some businesses in Boston. I´m going to leave in an hour and I won´t be back until tomorrow evening. Mockridge and Halliwell are going to stay."  
I just nodded and tried, not to look too relieved, because I didn´t want to attract his displeasure. That Mockridge and Halliwell, two of his overseers and some awkward companions, were going to stay here, was a drop of bitterness, but it was fine with me. I didn´t have to worry about them and they always stayed out of the house anyway. "Good fortune with your businesses."  
Richard grumbled something incomprehensible, before he stepped out of the front-door and shut it strongly behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

_One more chapter today. ;) I´ve already translated six of them but I want at least some of them being checked by a friend of mine. There are some parts where I´m not pretty sure about my own English-skills._

 _The first chapters are pretty short but they are getting longer as I became more confident in wiritng. ;) As I said: This was my very first fanfiction._

 _Enjoy :)_

* * *

 **A night-time visitor**

In the meantime evening had arrived again and the darkness spread over the landscape. In the daytime it had started to snow, so that a fine snow cover glowed bright in the light of the rising moon. Indeed I was no friend of winter because I hated the cold, but I loved the snow. It brought everything it was touching into being something magical and beautiful. I would have loved, enjoying this sight, the nature was offering to me, but I was too lost in my mind. I was still thinking about the conversation, I had listened to and about the men, who had been freighted into a cart and brought away, before Richard had left.

Even though I couldn´t have seen the slaves, who had been brought last night, I was pretty sure that I had recognized three of them today. Against my thinking of yesterday, this three were not Afro-Americans. They were European, all of them burly and healthy, although slightly injured. No way they were slaves and therefore I was quite sure, that these were the men, Mr. Gardner had talked about. Enemies of the order. Supporters of the assassins.  
Although I knew much about the templar order, I had never been raised as a templar. I knew its rough history and its aims, but I had never been interested in that and so I had never thought about it. So I also didn´t know anything about these assassins, only that they were "grubby slayers", according to my uncle. That he was no way better was beyond all questions.

 _Maybe I should listen to Richard for once and don´t think about all these things, I don't have a notion of_ , I thought resigned and with a deep sigh, I based my head on my hands. All this thinking made me feel dizzy. Slowly I stood up from the arm chair, I had spent the whole last half hour in, went to the window and opened it. I breathed in deeply the cold air, which made me shiver though. But for once I ignored the cold and let my gaze wander over the snow-covered yard. I saw Mockridge, who was marching over the yard and guarding it, a lantern in his hand. Never before, a slave had tried to flee and that's why this watch was unnecessary. Our property determined deep in the wilderness. Burglars never found their way out here, but my uncle had always been a paranoid man. A characteristic, all of the templars seemed to share.

With a last look to Mockride, I stepped back from the window, took the blanket from my bed and returned to the armchair in front of the fireplace, where I wrapped myself into the blanket. I looked into the blaze, listened to the silent snapping and fizzling of the coals, which was breaking through the silence once in a while and I felt, how I became more and more tired. I had fallen into a dreamless semi unconsciousness, until a noise dragged me out of it, a short time afterwards. In the armchair I leaned forward and froze with scare. A dark shadow dragged itself through the opened window, leaned against the wall aside and looked out to the yard. Except of the moonlight, there was no light sources, which could have enlighten the room and so I couldn´t see much about the night-time visitor. Only that he was quite tall, of an imposing stature and that he wore a cloak, whose hood he had pulled deep into his face. It was out of the question that Mockridge or Halliwell would sneak into my room. They were terrible men but they knew, what they had to expect from my uncle, if they should come too close to me. But who was this guy?

Probably I should cry for help, but I was petrified by horror and furthermore I hoped, that he would run off as sudden as he came. Obviously he didn´t even notice me yet. I could escape unscathed…  
My thoughts were rushing through my mind, while I watched the intruder staying motionless and for his part watching the yard. Maybe…I could…knock him down and then cry for help?  
Slowly I leaned forward and tried to stay up without a sound. Just when I had reached out for the poker beside the fireplace, the stranger whirled around, grabbed me at my shoulder, pushed me back into the arm chair and held a blade against my throat. All of this was happening so fast, that I had no time to react. Full of panic I stared into this face, that laid completely in shadows underneath the hood.

Thanks to the cold steal at my neck, I didn´t dare to make a sound. _So, that's how your end looks like. Getting slit the throat open by a man in a hood in the middle of the night. Please let it be finished quickly …_  
My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I really expected to meet the Creator in every moment. It felt, like I would stare in this face in the shadows for ages, until the visitor hummed. I could hear a scraping noise and the steal on my neck disappeared. In reflex, my hand wandered to this spot, but my gaze was still focused on my near-murderer. "I will not harm you", he said calmly, though not quite friendly. This information didn´t comfort me. Not in the slightest. "What…what do you want here? You have no right to be here!" I was wondering, that I had found my voice back so soon, although it didn´t sound as steady and determinant as I had hoped it would. It was more a piteous caw, wherefore I cleared my throat and hoped, that I wouldn´t sound like a roused chicken anymore.

The stranger stood there motionless and even though I couldn´t see his eyes, I could feel his gaze on me. _And what if he doesn´t kill you, because he wants to descend on you? Everyone could tell you, that he won´t harm you._ I was already hating this voice in my head, because I started to panic again. What if it was right? Should I…reach for the poker anyway? But the hood-bearer seemed to be not in the mood to come closer to me. Quite the contrary. Like he could feel my rising panic, he took a step back, lifting his hands and repeated: "I will not harm you. I just want to know, where they are."  
The panic expression in my eyes was now replaced by confusion. "Where who is?"  
"Robert Faulkner, David Walston and a man called Norris. I know, that they were brought here, but I cannot find them. So: Where are they?"

His voice had turned more and more serious with every word he spoke and now it was on me again, to be panic. I still didn´t have an idea, who he was talking about. I didn´t know these names…or did I? What if he was talking about these men, who had been brought away? But I didn´t know where to.  
"I…don´t know", I responded truthfully. Uncle Richard had driven to Boston, but I doubted, that he had let the men brought there, too. He hadn´t been exited about taking care of them and so it would suit him, if he had brought the greatest possible distance between him and this disagreeable "business".  
The absolute silence now was beyond all bearing. I nearly expected that the stranger would break his word and let me pay for my answer. But nothing like this happened.  
"But the man, your living with knows it. He engineered it, or not?"  
"Yes, but…he´s not here. He´s in Boston. He´s not going to come back before tomorrow."  
Silence again. Then the stranger came to me. "Good, then he will explain everything to me tomorrow and you will help me make him doing so."  
In a split of a second, I sat there again paralyzed, until I understood, what he meant.

He went to the window and I thought that he finally wanted to leave. But unfortunately he didn´t. The hood-bearer shut the window and said to me, in a neutral voice: "Do not think, you could jump out. You are going to break all of your bones." I lifted an eye brow, which he shouldn´t be able to see, because I asked myself, how in the world he could think, that I would do so. It didn´t even begin to dawn me, when he walked to the door, opened it, stayed shortly and said: "To cry would not help you either. No one is here, who could come to your help. I propose, you stay quiet and tomorrow, everything will be over. Nothing will happen to you." With these words, he closed the door and shortly afterwards, I heard the key, which was normally sticking on the side of the room, turned on the other side. "What the…" I leaped to my feet, hastened to the door and pushed the handle, just to discover, that it was locked. This guy had cooped me up! "Hey!" Furiously I beat against the door. "What do you blockhead think you´re doing?" But the answers were only footsteps, veering away from my door. Then everything was silent.


	4. Chapter 4

**Kindness alone isn´t enough**

The rest of the night I spent with sitting in my armchair and staring holes into the darkness. Since I had looked out of the window and realized, that jumping out of it really wouldn´t be a good idea, I had given up thinking about an escape. Even if I would make it out of here, I didn´t have an idea where the hooded guy stayed first and second I would probably get lost out there. I had no other choice than to wait and to hope, that he would keep his promise and that I didn´t have to meet my maker ahead of time. My concern was also directed at the statement, that no one, who could help me, was here. Had he killed all the others? I wouldn´t mourn Mockridge and Halliwell but what about Anya and the other slaves? I hoped so much, that nothing had happened to them and that he had left them alone.

That my concern wasn´t totally unfounded, was shown when my door opened in the next morning and Anya came in with a tray. "You´re allright!", I called out in surprise and looked her over, searching for injuries. But she was perfectly allright. "What about the others? Mockridge and Halliwell? Is this…guy still here?" Anya put down the tray and went back to the door, without saying a word. Perplexed I stared at here. "Anya? What´s the matter? Answer me! I want to know what´s going here. I was locked up the whole night and…"  
Suddenly Anya turned around and looked directly into my eyes with a gaze, which I was not able to interpret. "You were locked up? The whole night? I was locked up my entire life and no one brought me breakfast afterwards."  
Now I was totally speechless. I had never saw Anya like this before. She was nearly angered, folded her arms in front of her chest and looked at me fearless, for the first time since I knew here.

"Mockridge and Halliwell are dead. The other slaves were freed by Connor. I stayed, because I didn´t want to leave you behind so easily. You were always kind to me and I am grateful. But once this is over, I am going to leave."  
I just stared at the Afro-American for a while. What did she just say? The slaves were…freed? Someone freed them? Uncle Richard would throw a tantrum when he learns about that. He would… "He is going to kill me. Anya…do you know what Richard is going to do when he comes back and finds out, that you are all gone?"  
Anyas gaze slided to the floor, as she had lost the courage again to look at me. "I don´t think, that Connor will keep him alive when he comes back."  
"You are not talking about this…hooded one, are you? You are supporting a murderer, Anya!"  
She shook her head and when she looked at me again, there was something like pity in her gaze. "I am supporting someone, who is fighting for freedom. Did your uncle cowed you so much, that you can´t see that? You always wanted us to be free. But you have never done something to help us. Your kindness alone wasn´t a help, Miss Lillian." She pointed at the tray, before she finally went to the door. "You should eat something." And so she left and locked the door behind her. I was left stunned and with the echo of her words in my ears.

The upcoming hours I just spent with cowering in my bed and thinking about Anyas words. I did not even touch the food, because my hunger had already left. I couldn´t think about something else than Anya was being right. I was awed and I had really told myself, that I was doing something good to the slaves by treating them well. But how did this help, when they were not free? When they had to work their fingers to the bone? When they had not enough to eat and when they had to sleep in a very confined space in the shacks? I was moaning about my own bondage and was ignoring that I had more freedom than others. I got enough to eat. Had a bed, clothes, a roof over my head and a fireplace, which was keeping me warm. There was only the fear of my uncle, which was standing in my way. But even though this had finally come to my mind, I couldn´t fight this fear.

I wouldn´t have anything without Richard! I would be alone. I had no family, no friends. I was a cipher. If this Connor kills Richard, I was going to be lost. This may not happen!  
I covered my face with my hands in desperation and let my tears break out. I stopped crying as recently as I heard the noise of an approaching carriage. As if I had been stung, I leaped up and hastened to the window. Richard´s carriage was coming down the street to the property and I got dizzy with the thought about what was going to happen. Convulsive I held on the window frame and watched the carriage coming nearer and nearer. I heard the key cracking in the lock and the door opened behind me. "Come. It is time."

I turned around to the hooded man Anya had called Connor and I hoped, that he couldn´t see that I had cried. I didn´t want to grant him this. Now, in the daylight, I was rudimental able to see his face under the hood. Dark skin, dark eyes, approximately in my age, a serious face. I had imagined him differently, but what did it matter?  
I tightened my shoulders, went up to him and pushed me past him, without saying a word. I heard how he was following me through the hallway and downstairs.

In front of the entrance door he overtook me, grabbed my arm firmly, opened the door and pushed me out. Initially I wanted to protest, but when I saw my uncle, who was climbing out of the carriage in this moment, this demand was nipped in the bud. Anxiously I looked over to him, while he just seemed to be stunned. He gestured wildly to his men, who jumped of the carriage with their rifles, they were directing at us. For a while I asked myself, if my uncle was willing to let them shoot me but at once I had the naive hope, that I was not all the same to him.  
"What is it, you bastard are looking for in my house? Let the girl go immediately or I am going to give the firing order!"  
"I think, you are capable of doing anything, but not of letting shot them your own wife."  
 _Wife?!_ I was unable to help myself but glancing at my hostage-taker from the side. What for God´s sake made him think that?

Richard didn´t seem to be interested in this misunderstanding. He had understood the fundamental logic behind the assassin´s words, because he gestured wildly again, whereupon his men exchanged their rifles for their swords. "What do you want?" In my uncle´s voice, it was hearable, that he was anything but thrilled about this situation. Furthermore I had heard something else. Was it…fear? He was surrounded by four armed men and was afraid of one opposer? I would laugh, if I wouldn´t stand on the other side of a sword-barrier.  
"I want to know, where you took my friends. Tell me and I will let her go."  
My uncle´s answer was a hysterical laugh. "Now have a look at this half-wit. Thinks, because he´s Washingtons lap dog and killed Lee, he may talk big. Listen, changeling: My men will take care, that you keep your mouth shut and then I will love to present your head to our grandmaster, bloody assassin."

That´s all I needed. My life was really depending on the man, Richard and Gardner had been apparently talking about yesterday. I had managed to get between the two fronts of a childish, ancient brawl…literally. If I was not going to become the pawn offer, which Richards seemed to be willing to risk, the assassin by my side was probably going to make an end to my life. In his opinion, I was married to a templar after all. "Apparently, I am not a good pressure", I said, just loud enough to be heard by Connor, who seemed to get to the same conclusion. "See shelter", he said, before taking out an axe, releasing my arm and taking a few steps towards Richard´s men, who had started to move already. He was insane! Stunned and standing rooted to the spot, I stayed and watched the assassin moving ahead his certain death. It was four against one and I doubted that he had a chance at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**"The" or just "one" end?**

Against Connor´s order, that I should seek shelter, I kept staying paralysed. I couldn't move, even if I wanted to. How could someone be so insane to confront four armed men, all of them muscled like a full-grown ox, on his own? They were going to kill him and Richard would follow through with his threat and present Connor´s head to Gardner on a silver plate. Question was: Did I want to watch this? While the assassin and his four opponents were standing in front of each other, life came back to my body and I walked slowly backwards, heading for the house. The answer was: No, I didn´t want to watch this, but even if everything inside of me was crying, that I should look away, I kept my gaze directed to the five counterparts, who seemed to wait for one of them taking the first step forward. And then, everything was happening at once.

One of Richards' men jumped towards Connor and tried to strike him a blow with the rapier. The assassin flexibly drew aside the attack, blocked it with his axe, disarmed his attacker and dug the axe into the man´s neck shortly after. Now the remaining four were storming to the murderer of their companion. They surrounded him and each one of them tried to hit him with his blade. I had never seen something as uncoordinated as that before. Instead of fighting their enemy together, each of Richard´s men was fighting for himself and it became quickly obvious, that Connor was the only one profiting by it. Two of his opponents were finished, when Connor just drew aside the attack of one of them, which hit the one standing behind Connor. Irritated, that he had just blew his companion to kingdom come, the attacker didn´t pay attention to his actual opponent and was immediately killed by the assassin´s hidden blade. The last survivor, pulled out his gun in an act of desperation, shot off target and paid this failure with his life. Within a few minutes, four more lives were extinguished. Connor stood in the middle of a circle made of bodies, the cloak drenched in the blood of his enemies and he himself seemed to be unharmed. Slowly he put back his axe, before he approached Uncle Richard.

He was standing aside his carriage like he was frozen, the face white as a sheet and with panic in his eyes. At least there was no one left who could protect him from the deadliness of the assassin, who was grabbing his collar and pushed him against the carriage´s wall. "Where are they?" Even from the distance, I could hear the hidden threat in Connor´s question and my blood ran cold. Paralyzed I stood near the entrance door and didn´t noticed, how Anya was appearing aside of me. "Richard isn´t going to survive this", she said, totally neutral like she was talking about the weather. Slowly I turned my head to her direction and stared at her, when she was also looking at me. "I won´t stay here any longer. It´s nothing left, which would holds me here. Farewell, Lillian", she said with a smile, turned away from me and with calm steps, she passed the two men and left through the gate. I didn´t know what to think. Everything was happening to fast, as that I could realize it. Connor had freed all of the slaves, had killed all of Richard´s men. Anya, the person I had liked the most, just had left me behind and now Connor was on the brink to kill my uncle, too. All of that had to be just a bad dream. Could I allow that Richard got killed? I hated him, but did I want him to die? What would be left for me, besides a giant and empty property? I didn´t even own any money. Where I should live of? Fear was spreading inside of me. Fear of my own helplessness and dependency and this fear made me gather my skirts and run to the two men.

Connor still held my uncle on his collar and asked repeatedly for the whereabouts of his friends. "You can kill me, assassin", growled Richard and despite of his brave words, his fear was crying out of every single pore. Connor´s hands became cramped and he released Richard from his right hand, just to hold his hidden blade against Richard´s throat. "Believe me, I would enjoy doing it. But first you will tell me, what I asked for."  
Both of them seemed to ignore me, who was now standing right next to them. I had no idea what I should do and my first impulse was it, to try to push Connor away from my uncle. But it was a quiet miserable try. Just for a short moment, the assassin looked at me and I could see the disapproval in his face before he pushed me ruggedly aside with his elbow. If I had known, what Richard was going to do in the same moment, I wouldn´t have interfered.

My uncle made use of his counterpart´s state of distraction, grabbed his bladed arm and hissed: "May the Father of Understanding guide me!" before he thrust the assassin's blade into his very own throat. Likewise shocked, Connor and I were starring at Richard, who slumped down stertorously in Connor´s grab. "No!", the assassin gasped and pressed his free hand against the bleeding wound in my uncle´s neck, as it would be a desperate try, to retard the inescapable. "Tell me where they are!" But Richard was already dead.  
Uttering a curse, Connor let the body loose and kicked furiously against a wheel of the carriage, before he turned to me, his face full of anger. "If you had not interfered, he would have told me!" Again a kick against the carriage, but I was barely noticing it.

Completely in shock, I stared at my uncle´s body, whose blood was almost glowing on the white snow. Connor was wrong. Richard wouldn´t have told him anything. Instead of granting the assassin this satisfaction, he had preferred to kill himself. _And had left me behind._ I felt how my eyes were welling up with tears, but they weren´t tears of grief. They were tears of bare anger. My whole life, my uncle had taken care of my dependence on him. He had known exactly, that I hadn´t been able to leave him, without guiding myself into nonentity. He had destroyed my life and had put up with it. Just a moment ago, he would have allowed his men to kill me and now he had left me behind. Alone. Far away from my home, with a giant property and without any money, because he had been the only one, who had had it at his disposal.

Connor had stood still in the meantime and looked me over now, how I was standing there. Crying, my gaze fixed on my dead uncle. "I am sure, that the other templars are going to take care of you now", he mumbled, kept staying for a short moment and then he left, without a word of farewell. The templars? Did he really think, that I wanted to deal with this bunch? Sure, Gardner would want to take care of me, but I didn´t intend to comply with his actual purpose. I knew, that he would ask me to marry him. I would be forced to accept, but then? His company was pleasant but I knew, that he was an evil man. Like my uncle. Since then I had been able to ignore this, because I hadn´t been in regular contact with the templars. But now? No, I was not going to give my life for the order, too. My uncle had been a part of them and he had taken everything from me. Even though he was dead now, I would take my revenge subsequently. He goddamned should had died for nothing! Determined like I had never been before, I ran after Connor. He had already passed the gate and was tramping through the deep snow, towards the edge of the forest. "Stop!", I called and he did. "I think, I can tell you, where your friends are."


	6. Chapter 6

**The assassin, the hiking and me**

The assassin looked at me unbelievingly and took a few steps towards me. "Oh, really? You told me recently, that you do not know it."  
"I didn´t know where they were at this point, but in the end, I know where they are going to be brought to."  
Connor took some more steps into my direction and finally stopped right in front of me. He looked me up quietly and seemed to try to find out, if I was lying to him. His gaze made me feel nervous, but I resisted it without speaking. I didn´t want him to think, that he could intimidate me. "Where to?"  
A faint smile played about my lips and I folded my arms in front of my chest. The bait was placed, now Connor only had to take it. He wanted to learn something from me, but I wouldn´t give him this information without a reward and he was going to become clear of that quiet soon.  
"I am going to tell you, if you take me with you."

The assassin´s eyebrows wandered up, what I was passably able to see under the hood. He really seemed to be surprised. "And where I should take you to?"  
"The homestead you are living in would be a good start."  
Sill surprise in his gaze. He hadn´t anticipated that. Apparently my shot in the dark, about the homestead, wasn´t as wrong as I had thought it was. But he had to live somewhere after all. "I already know several things about you. I heard about you and your doings during the war."

"If you know so many things about me, what makes you think, that I would let a templar into my home?"  
"Because I am not a templar."  
A snort was the answer and a sneering expression took place on Connors lips. "Really? And you want me to believe that? You lived together with a templar, you came to his defense and furthermore you supported his slavery businesses. So I shall believe you that you have nothing to do with the order?"  
I had to brace myself, not to appear caught. Basically his words were true, as Anya´s had been before. But how should I proof to him, that I wasn´t a templar? Should I tell him the truth and hope, that he believes it?  
"I know it´s hard to believe." A sneering snore again from the assassin but I tried to ignore it. "My uncle – not my husband by the way – had always kept me out of everything. He wasn´t fussed about me, as long he could possess my heritage. For him, I was not worthy enough to be part of the order because I´m a woman and so he´d never involved me. I met some of the other templars, did listen to some of their conversations but basically I don´t know much about them. As I don´t know much about your brotherhood. I learned these things about you, when I´d listened to my uncle and the grandmaster. So I had learned about your friends, too."

I finished my narration and looked at Connor expectantly. Either he believed me or he left me behind. I had nothing to lose by telling him the truth. My person opposite certainly seemed to be not conclusive about my intention. He looked me up and down, searching for something that could show him that I was lying. There was nothing else left for me than to look at him honestly and to hope that he disposed over a common sense. "Anya told me, that you have been friendly to her and the others. That is not an excuse for not helping them to flee, but I do not think that it makes you a worse person." He averted his eyes from me and looked over my shoulder, back to the property. "When I am taking you with me, I trust you. I rely on that you will not endanger the homestead. If you betray us, I will kill you."

He looked at me again and his voice sounded totally serious. He meant what he had said and it made me shiver. But I nodded. "You have my word." Connor nodded himself and without saying one more word, he moved ahead to the forest again. Perplexed I kept staying. "Shouldn´t we…take horses from the stables?" I pointed back, but the assassin didn´t turn around. "I left them to the slaves. You will have to walk."  
My gaze went to his legs, which sank into the snow, up to the calves. He needed to be joking! "But…I…"  
"You wanted to come with me, so come now." He didn´t turn around again. Determined he kept stumping through the snow, arrived the thicket, pushed it away with one arm and disappeared behind it. I cursed quietly, gathered my skirts and tried to follow him. I had to suppress an appalled screech, when my leg sank into the white snow, up to my knee and the cold ate through my thin stockings. My legs were going to be frozen of, until we would reach the homestead.

* * *

We walked through the forest for ages, at least I felt like that. The assassin avoided any roads and so I was forced to follow him through the thicket and deep snow. It was torture. Branches hit my face over and over again, scratching my skin. My thin leather-boots were completely soaked through after a short time, just as my stockings and skirts. Furthermore it was out of question that in contrast to Connor, I absolutely wasn´t dressed for a snow-hiking. Thanks to my plain soles, I slipped again and again, stumbled over snow-covered roots or just over my dress´ hem. The underskirts as well as the garment were quickly soaked through and made moving forward not easier to me. Connor however didn´t care at all. He walked ahead without hesitating or even without making a false step. He never turned around, not even when I fell down and once in while I got a "Hurry a bit" from him, which made me livid with rage. No, I really knew nothing about him, except that he was a blunt chump.

Initially I had thought that walking offside the roads would be a tactic. But now I was nearly sure, that he was leading me through the thicket on purpose. I seethed with anger but I didn´t want to grant him any satisfaction, so I doggedly remained silent. Not until he stopped by a broad stream, I allowed myself breathing a sigh of relief. I accelerated my steps, stopped beside Connor and looked at the other side of the stream, like he did. Between the trees I could see the smoke of a fireplace and…the roof of a house. "Is the homestead over there?", I asked, with blatant relief in my voice and when Connor nodded, I sighed. "Thank God." But now my gaze was wandering to the stream. Thanks to the snow, he seemed to be carrying more water than usual and the stream caused a roar in the air. One step inside and it would tear you out of balance.

"Is there something like a bridge somewhere?", I asked Connor, but he had already made a first step inside the water. Then one more and little by little, the assassin was wading through the stream, water flowing against his calves. I stood there motionless and stared after him. That had to be a joke again. "Er…Connor?", I called after him, but of course he didn´t turn around. "Surely there´s a bridge somewhere I could use, isn´t it? I´m much smaller than you and my shoes won´t get me over there that safety."  
The assassin stopped, turned around and seemed to notice for the very first time now that I had much more problems with the hiking than he had. Even under the hood I could see that he was scrutinizing me from top to bottom and I felt more than uncomfortable in the process. I must look terrible with the soaked through dress, the wet hair…

Even through the noise of the stream I could hear this snort I was already hating about him. I nearly thought he would abandon me and ask me to follow him, but he really waded back to me. "Why did you not tell me earlier?", he asked and I got the feeling that my eyes would fell out of my head. Was he serious? Did he really presumed that I could hike through the wilderness like he could? But instead of waiting for an answer, he laid one arm around me, one under my knees and without warning, he lifted me up. First I wanted to protest but I denied myself it, when I saw the gaze, Connor was giving to me. Like this situation wouldn´t suit him. Like there was nothing worse than carrying me. I was nearly offended, but I kept every comment to myself. At least I didn´t want him to drop me into the water.

He walked back into the water and carried me through the stream without effort. Like in the forest before, he never stumbled and I almost admired him for his body control. I was indeed not quiet heavy, but I imagined it challenging anyway, to walk over a slippery streambed with a weight on the arms. But Connor didn´t seem to have any problems and so we reached the other side safe, where he put me ruggedly back on my feet. "It is not far anymore", he hummed and stumped forward as ever. So I followed him. After we had left more thicket behind us, we stood in front of a small, wooden house. In front of it, there were several racks with suspended animal-skins on them, a shambles and a burnt down fireplace. I had seen its smoke before. Maybe the cabin of a hunter, but no one was here. Connor crossed the small yard and chose determined a path which weaved between the trees. The snow here was beaten so that moving forward was much easier to me now. It was clearly muddier indeed, but I really had not to worry about my dress anymore. It was already ruined anyway. But I wasn´t interested in it.

Now, as we had passed the first cabin, I was only curious about the homestead. How large was it? How were its inhabitants? "Since now, I have only seen the bigger cities of America. Never the small settlements", I told Connor excitedly, what he just registered with a hum. He lifted his hand and pushed back the hood from his face, whereupon I curiously looked him over from the side. I hadn´t imagine the grim expression about his mouth when he still wore the hood, but however he looked…different without it. Younger? The dark eyes were watchfully directed to their environment. The mid-length, black hair was tied to a braid and shorter at the sides, as it had been completely shaved off a short time ago. Richard had said that Connor was a "half-breed". So he was…a half-native? This ancestry was at least distinctive, in view of the dark skin and the way he seemed to perceive his environment. But the environment suddenly wasn´t in his focus any longer. Frowning he looked at me and I became aware that I was really staring at him.

"What is it?", he asked irritably and rashly I looked away. "Nothing…I…I just asked myself, why you took of your hood."  
"That is my home. I have to hide my face from no one here."  
"Is that a rule made by your order? That no one is allowed to see your face?"  
Connor nodded.  
"And do your brothers fight with this..axe, too?" I pointed at the weapon on his belt and Connor followed my gaze. "No. That is a tomahawk. A traditional weapon among my people, as well as my bow."  
"Your people? You mean the…Mahoks?"  
He lifted his gaze and looked at me, knitting his eyebrows. "Mohawks."  
"Like I said."  
A snort again and he looked away. The sneer in his gaze didn´t evades me anyway. "Are you always that curious?", he asked and now it was on me to frown. He really didn´t make it easy to me, not to be angry with him. How could just one man be so…rude? "In a civilized world, it is called conversation", I said bitchily. "You should try it once in a while."

This snort again. This man really seemed to have no further means of communication. Grimly I turned my gaze away from him and stared at the path instead, which bent in front of us and leaded directly to a buildup of houses. That had to be it! My anger about Connor immediately faded away, when I saw people who were passing the houses, talking to each other or just doing their work. Everything seemed to be so peaceful. Connor and I followed the path and when we came across the first settlers, my escort was delightedly greeted while they gave me curious looks. The assassin didn´t let them engage him in conversation but led me directly to a house, which looked like the local tavern. I felt a pleasant anticipation of a warm fireplace and maybe even a warm meal spreading inside of me and hopeful I followed Connor into the house.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey everyone :)_

 _First of all: Thank you for your reviews, favs and follows. I´m happy to read that you like my story._

 _Unfortunately, this is the last chapter I translated until now which means, that it maybe will take a while till I can upload the next one. There is still my main project for the German Fanfiction-Archive I have to write and which has priority. But I will do my best so that you don´t have to wait too long. ;)_

* * *

 **Hospitality**

I hadn´t visit many taverns in my life, so far. For the first time in the age of sixteen in London, when some of my former friends had convinced me to leave a boring soiree at an early stage and to pay a visit to one of the downtown pubs instead. We had been naive enough to think that a group of wealthy, young people could do this, without meeting with any obstacles. The pub, we had visited in this evening had been situated in London´s center and had been full of people of the lower class, who had wanted to have an Ale after a day of hard work, without thinking of their everyday troubles. It had reeked of sweat, tasteless beer and mildewed food, but that hadn´t kept us of mingling with the working people. But they hadn´t been thrilled about our presence and arrogance. Without a rambling speech: All of us had been ruggedly kicked out and got on top of everything trouble with their parents, which had meant in my case, that my uncle hadn´t let me out of the house for weeks.

Thinking about this evening again, made me, strangely enough, only remembering the shabby pub and the fetidness, which had filled it. But the tavern, Connor leaded me into, was completely different. First of all, there was the smell of freshly cooked food, which filled the room as well as the sizzling noise of an open fire. It was pleasantly warm, but compared to the pub in London quiet and nearly deserted. Only four people were sitting or standing around a table near to the fireplace and talked to each other with lowered voices. A young woman, who had been sitting there with her face covered in her hands, stood up fitfully, when we entered the house and approached the assassin with hasty steps. Her moss-colored top tautened over a little, nodular belly. She was pregnant and I asked myself, caused by her reaction to Connor, if he was the father. At least it would surprise me.

But when the woman stopped in front of Connor, I could see no facial pleasure of seeing him again. Her eyes were red from crying and there were still tears running down her pale cheeks. "Did you find them?", she asked in a nearly imploring voice and this imploration was also in her gaze she gave to the assassin. He shook his head and sobbing, the expectant mother placed her hand to her mouth, her face twisted with pain. "Myriam, calm down." Another woman had stood up from her seat, went to the recipient, laid her arms around her and lead her back to the table, where Myriam sat down, trembling.

Connor stepped up to the table, too and while the woman took care of the crying Myriam, the two others, an elder, chubby woman and a likewise old and chubby man, looked quietly to the assassin and seemed to be waiting for him to say something. "I was on Jarvis´ property, but he had already brought them away. But this is…" He turned around to look at me and I could see in his gaze, that he just became aware that he had never asked me for my name. Was that a surprise to me? Until now, he had never shown any decency and he hadn´t made a great effort to introduce the attendees to me,too. Even now he didn´t seem to get this intention but kept up speaking after a short break instead. "This is his niece and she said that she knows where he had brought them to."  
In every other situation I would have reacted irritably and would have insisted of being introduced to the others in a reasonable way. But given to the five pair of eyes, who were now directed at me, I didn´t waste any thoughts to etiquette and amenities.

I just stood there, anxious and with my back to the door and a group of strangers in front of me, who were all expecting something from me and I felt shabby and dirty at once. The dress ruined, the hair probably a total mess…everyone had always expected from me, that I always appeared dapper in society and even after the events of the past few hours, I couldn´t shake this off. I just wanted to be swallowed by the ground. "So, where are they?" Myriam had stopped crying and was now looking at me with blatant distrust and disdain. I nearly expected her to grab the rifle, which was leaned against the wall behind her and to make me answer by force of arms. In a wave of helplessness I looked at Connor, but his gaze was also demanding an answer and he was right with that. After all, I had told him, that I would give him the information he wanted if he brings me to the Davenport Homestead. But I hadn´t expected to get dragged in front of a group of settlers.

But like Connor had kept his word, I had to keep mine. "London", I said, my voice nothing more than a whisper, but loud enough to be understood. The other´s gazes became stunned and Myriam sobbed loudly again. "London?" The podgy man ran his fingers through his scarce hair and his helpless gaze pointed to Connor, who for his part looked at me, frowning and thoughtful. Did he not believe me? "I don´t know why, but my uncle was explicitly instructed to prepare a transport to London. I´m sure that he did that, when he was in Boston yesterday."  
"But this could mean that they are already on their way!" Myriam had leaped up and rested her shaking hands on the table. Her whole body seemed to be fraught with discomposure and panic.

Whoever they were missing, the men could be already hundreds of miles away from the American coast and once they would arrive in Europe, no one would know what was going to happen to them. No one could come to their help. They were already lost.  
This thought seemed to have come to everybody´s mind now and an embarrassed silence came over the room, until Connor thumped the table with his clenched fist, looking determined into the company. "I will go to Boston and I will try to find out something. I promise to you, Myriam: Whatever happens, I am going to fetch Norris and the others back."  
She seemed to become paler than before but she nodded. "I know", she said quietly and got embraced again by the woman, who had taken care of her before. "Come, I will accompany you home. You need to rest." The woman grabbed the rifle and handed over a pouch to Myriam, which looked like a prey-bag and the two women left without a word.

When the door had closed behind them, the elder lady sighed and sat down on one of the chairs, her hands folded on her lap. "Poor Myriam. I don´t even want to imagine how she must feel." The man beside her laid his hand on her shoulder to comfort her and she took it into hers. "Don´t be worried, Darling. Connor is going to fetch Norris back and then the two of them can look forward to their offspring again."  
Connor nodded. "I am going to ride to Boston immediately", he said determinedly, turned around and when his gaze met mine, he appeared irresolute for a moment. Had he already forgotten me again in this atmosphere of departure? "Corrine, would you take care of…her?" He didn´t avert his eyes from mine and when the elder lady stood up, went to me with a smile and said "But of course", I imagined to read relief on his face and it stabbed me painfully. Was I really that annoying to everybody that they just wanted to get me off their hands?  
The assassin didn´t care anyway but walked steadily out of the tavern, while Corrine put her arm round my shoulders and led me to a table beside the fireplace. In the meantime the man, probably her husband, had vanished in a room behind the counter.

"I´m sorry that we haven´t received you in a polite way but at the moment the circumstances are…well, I´m sure you know." She offered me a chair, on which I sat down gratefully and took a seat in front of me. "I´m Corrine and the man, who cleared off, was my husband Oliver. We are running this tavern. I think I don´t have to introduce Connor to you. He´s unfortunately a bit…difficult, but a good fellow."  
I couldn´t help myself but letting my eyebrows flip up in skepticism. Connor may had let me stay alive and he seemed to be a man who was true to his word. But until now, I hadn´t seen further positive sides about him. Or maybe he was just talented in hiding them. Corrine seemed to interpret my silence in a different way because she looked me over with a motherly gaze and then gasped for breathe.

"For God´s sake, love! I am talking and you are sitting here, completely drenched and chilled to the bone." She patted my hand, grabbed it and pulled me up. "But don´t worry…what is your name again?"  
"Lillian."  
"Well, Lillian, you don´t have to worry about anything. I will show you a room upstairs, where you can freshen yourself up and then I will make you something warm to eat. It´s inconceivable that you are getting sick in my care and catch your death." She pushed me towards a stairway, upstairs and finally into a room, where she looked me up again and shortly twitched at one of my wet wisps of hair. "You know, I will prepare a hot bath for you and while you warm yourself up, I am going to send someone to Ellen. She´s the lady who accompanied Myriam home and on top of that a tailor. She surely has something suitable for you. This one…" She pointed at my dress. "isn´t wearable anymore."

I was nearly overwhelmed by the lively lady´s chattiness but I was also unbelievably grateful. Thanks to her helpfulness, I didn´t felt like an intruder anymore and on top of that, a hot bath and a warm meal were the only things I really desired at the moment. But at once I had a problem. "I fear, that I can´t pay you for your hospitality." Confessing that was embarrassing to me and I gave a compunctious gaze to Corrine, who chuckled though and patted my cheek. "Don´t worry about that, love. As Connor´s visitor, you are also a welcomed visitor in our house and furthermore I told him that I would take care of you and I am going to do right that."


	8. Chapter 8

**Dealings**

A deep, satisfied sigh escaped my lips when I slipped slowly into the hot bathing water and even though my half frozen legs started to prickle unpleasantly, I enjoyed the warm feeling which had returned to my body again. While Corrine´s husband Oliver had heated up the water for me and had dragged it to the washtub in the room, which had been allocated to me, the friendly innkeeper had prepared a warm meal for me which I had eaten up like I was a starving animal. During the hiking and the conversation downstairs, I had never noticed how hungry and likewise exhausted I had been. All the bother had pushed away these feelings and now, when I was finally taking a bath and could warm myself up, I was nearly overwhelmed by my tiredness.

I yawned heartily and closed my eyes, accepted at once that each incident of the past few hours came back to my mind again. Connor´s intrusion into our house, Anya who made me become aware of that I hadn´t given to the slave what they had truly deserved. Richard´s suicide, the anger I had felt and which was still existing in my subconscious mind. Finally Connor, who had been forced to take me with him and the settler Myriam, who had left it unsaid, that she made me responsible for the other settler´s transportation. I took a deep breath when a lump formed in my throat. Had there really been something more I had been able to do, to put a spoke in Richard´s wheel or had I really preferred it to shut my eyes from reality and to hide myself behind my dependence, I had hated so much at the same time?

A snore escaped my lips, which could competed against Connor´s and I opened my eyes, angrily staring on a spot on the wall. I could understand why Connor had believed that I had been in league with the templars. Basically I had helped them by ignoring their doings even though it was still incomprehensible to me, how I should had opposed the order. _But that´s over now!_  
Determined I pushed away the thoughts about what I should or could had done and decided to concentrate on my future. Richard was dead and so I was free. Maybe without property and home but I was going to find a way. I had to believe in myself for once. A faint smile played about my lips, while I began to wash my hair.

* * *

After the more than pleasant bath, which I didn´t finished before the water had slowly cooled down, I slipped into the nightgown, Corrine had laid out for me and went directly to bed, though it was early in the evening. But I was too tired and my body cried out for catching up on the sleep, I had missed in the nights before. I slept deeply and peaceful and felt like a new woman in the next morning. All the cheerless thoughts had vanished for a new determination, which made me stand up satisfied and in a good mood. I washed myself and had a close look at the clothes, Corrine must had put on a chair for me while I had been asleep. A white blouse, white stockings, a light blue bodice and a skirt in the same colour. The material was rougher than I was used to, but it would surely keep me warmer than my old clothes did. I dressed myself, immediately enjoying not wearing a corset, which had been a torture everyday in my life. I had hated it but I had borne it anyway. _Almost like Richard_. I had to smirk, having this thought and I looked myself up in the mirror at once, pleased with the sight. No corset, no bouffant skirts, no pinned up hair…it required getting used to indeed, but as long as I felt comfortable, it couldn´t be wrong.

With a bright smile on my lips I left my room and went downstairs into the tavern. Like yesterday, fire was sizzling in the fireplace but the tavern was far more visited than it was during my arrival. Two strong-looking men with plaid cotton-shirts, bosky beards and wood-shavings on their trousers, sat in front of the bar, having a meal, an ale and a talk with Oliver, who stood behind the bar, polishing glasses. By the fireplace leaned a man in a blue suit, a pince-nez on his nose and a pipe in the corner of his mouth, his gaze silently directed into the flames. At last there was Corrine, sitting in a corner of the room together with the woman I recognized as Ellen the tailor. She had taken care of Myriam yesterday and she had sent me the clothes I wore.

When I came down the stairway I imagined that everyone was noticing me at once. I felt the gazes on me and all conversations ended. Oliver and the men by the bar nodded to me, as it did the smoker by the fireplace. Only Corrine rose from her seat, a bright smile on her lips and called out a "Good morning, love" to me. I also greeted the others with a "Good morning", while I approached Corrine and Ellen and stopped undetermined in front of their table. "Thank you for the clothes", I started and gave a smile to Ellen, which she returned openly and heartly. "You´re welcome. I am glad to help. Do you want to take a seat?" I nodded gratefully, sat down on a chair and looked after Corrine who hastily disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.

"I am sorry you haven't been greeted heartier." I turned my attention back to Ellen who looked at me apologetically. "As you know, some of our friends had been arrested. One of them is Myriam´s husband. You met her yesterday." I nodded. Of course I could remember the crying expecting mother who had given me this angry look when she had heard that I was the niece of the man who had been responsible for her husband´s disappearance. "I´m so sorry", I said quietly but Ellen shook her head. "It´s not your fault and Myriam...please don´t be angry with her, that she had attacked you. She´s desperate. We´re all hoping that our friends will return soon."  
"I do understand."

Silence. It was obvious that both of us didn´t want to talk about this topic any longer and I was glad about it. What should I say? I was a guest here and I could only imagine what the community of the homestead was going through. I was just glad that I hadn´t to feel like a discard at the moment, even though I didn´t belong here. Basically I was here without reason. Connor had lead me here because he had wanted to know what I knew. Now that I had told him everything...  
The clatter of plates sounded behind me and shortly after that, Corrine put bread and cheese in front of me. Caring like in the evening before. "Eat. We have enough and given to your slim waist, you need to put a bit of weight on. You girls are so thin in these days." She chuckled and a grey curl, which had escaped from her hairnet, bounded over her forehead.

My answer was a smile and I started to spread some cheese on a slice of bread, as Ellen got up. "Excuse me, but there is so much I have to do." She gave me a warm smile, which I returned. "I hope you will be comfortable, despite of everything." And so she bid farewell and left the tavern. I remained alone, because Corrine had also disappeared again and in silence I enjoyed the bread which must had been freshly baken. It smelled wonderful and tasted just as good. I just heartly bit into it again when the tavern´s door opened and from the corner of my eye I could see a person in a coat approaching me. "There you are."

I lifted my head and looked into a pair of brown eyes which was looking at me as cool as always. "Good morning, Connor. I am extraordinary pleased to see you. Do you want to take a seat?" I couldn´t prevent my voice from being full of sarcasm. Had I mentioned once that this man was absolutely without manners? One greeting word wasn´t an absurd demand. Besides: What was the meaning of this statement? He had left me behind here yesterday. Where else should I be? Had he thought that I had stumped back through the snow?  
Connor hummed something incomprehensible, grabbed an unneeded chair, turned it and sat on it back to front. His arms placed on the seat back, he first looked to the plate with bread and then into my face, which nearly made me livid with rage. The way, how he watched me made me feel like I wasn´t allowed to enjoy the food and honestly: I lost my appetite.

Nevertheless I tried to control my feelings and to keep a friendly tone. "Do you want something? I´m sharing." Undetermined if I was making fun of him, he appraised me before taking a slice of bread and mumbling something which sounded almost like a "Thank you". _There you go._  
A smile sneaked on my lips and I quickly tried to hide it behind a bite into my bread. I watched the assassin sitting in front of me, letting his gaze wander through the room and stoically chewing for himself and I asked myself, what it needed to make someone becoming so...cold. I really knew nothing about him. Only that he was a half-native, an assassin and someone who had let me stay alive although he could had make an end to it. Also the things Richard had told about him.

"Is it true that you are friends with Commander Washington?"  
Connor looked at me, frowning. I couldn´t tell what he was thinking about my question. At least I had only seen him with this serious gaze till now. "I helped him and the patriots. But he is not a friend."  
I nodded slowly and began to draw invisible circles on the tabletop. "So you fought for the revolution?"  
"I fought for freedom. It was wrong how the people were treated. Besides...I was able to do something against the templars that way."  
I stopped my drawings and looked at him. "But this fight isn´t over compared to the war."  
He nodded.  
"And what are you going to do about your friends? Did you achieve something in Boston?"  
A long silence was the answer and I nearly thought that he just would shoot my question down. But Connor surprised me.

He took a deep breath before leaning forward and giving me a serious but not unfriendly look. "I was in your house once more and had a look around in your uncle´s typing pool. I thought, after I hadn´t learned anything in Boston, that I could find some helpful documents."  
My eyebrows skipped up. He had really returned to our property? "I could have told you that Richard had never kept documents about his templar-businesses."  
Connor nodded, reached inside his coat and pulled a roll of parchment out of his pocket. Totally worn out, the broken seal rarely existing. My breathing stopped and I snatched the roll out of his hand. "Where did you get this?"  
"From a secret compartment. It doesn´t help me but...maybe you? I don´t know much about your..." He did a unsteady gesture. "...traditions and laws or whatever this is about. But I have seen something like that before."  
I would have never expected that he would bring me this document. I had never thought about it myself because I had been sure that Richard had destroyed it.

Carefully I opened the roll and skimmed through the text, which was barely readable but not completely disappeared. It was the text which had decided that my uncle would be the disposer of my heritage till my marriage or his death. The document with that he had had me in his hands. My father´s last will and now that I had it and Richard had died, before I had married no one was named as my heritage´s disposer. I could possess it now on my own. But there was a problem. Richard had done all his financial businesses, including my heritage, through the order and I couldn´t turn to it. I had to appear in my native city in person to claim my heritage but I was thousand miles away from London. With a sigh I closed the testament and put it in front of me on the table.

"Thank you", I said without looking at Connor. "You really helped me, although I couldn´t do much for you. Your friends are certainly on their way to London and you can´t get to them." I rose my gaze and saw Connor shaking his head. "You are from London", he detected without any context, which made me nod in confusion. "I am going to sail to London and I will take you with me. There you can submit the testament and start a new life, far away from your uncle´s doings. The only thing I am demanding from you is that you tell me everything you know about the British templars and your uncle´s connections during our journey. I have already sent a message to my brothers there, but I previously want to know everything important to me. We will sail to London and then our ways will separate."  
He had stood up in the meantime and looked at me expectantly. "Do you agree, Lillian?"  
I hesitated and scrutinized him. I asked myself if he was serious about this. Did he really offered to bring me home? Although he knew nothing about me? Where did he got my name anyway? "And the only thing I have to do, is to tell you about the templars and my uncle´s connections?" I couldn´t prevent my voice from sounding sceptical. "Yesterday you said to me, I should bring you here in return of informations." He shrugged his shoulders. "It is the same dealing again. You will tell me what I need to know and I will take you to London."


	9. Chapter 9

**The beginning of a long journey**

Two days later I stood on the landing stage in the bay, which was lying behind the Davenport-homestead and regarded the ship which was going to bring us over the open sea to England. It was a brig, not quite big but in a good condition and this was all I needed to know. I wanted to reach our destination with my feet as dry as possible and I hoped that the crew would be conducive to it. I watched the sailors carrying the last supplies on board. Their voices were echoing loudly through the bay and were only drowned by the cries of seagulls which were circulating high above in the sky. I looked up to them, watched them flying their paths and I remembered that a sailor had told me once that you could appraise the weather only by watching the seagulls´ flight. I had never asked how that works and I couldn´t believe it anyway. But while I was looking into the sky, I hoped that the seagulls´ circling was a good sign.

In the night before a violent storm had swept through the homestead, had pulled on doors and windows, lifted off some roofs and made me fear for our departure. But now everything was calm. Nothing stood in our journey´s way now, unless Connor didn´t turn up soon. I looked down the landing stage and let my gaze wander to the manor, which stood above the bay near the cliffs. There lived Connor alone since his master had died. He had told me it nearly casually after my enquiry, but it had been visible that this loss still caused him pain. So I hadn´t ask any further questions about this and I also hadn´t tried to learn something about the ineloquent assassin by asking the settlers. Even though I was curious, I felt that it was wrong to get to know him through the narration of someone else. He should tell me something on his own but that was the problem´s core. He wasn´t one of the chatty kind and I was sorrowful looking forward to the upcoming weeks on sea. How should I stand a horde of men alone for such a long time and how shouldn´t I become mad if no one was speaking to me? Until now the crew hadn´t seemed to be thrilled about a woman coming along with them on their journey and so I decided for myself to spend most of my time in my cabin…as long as I would get one. As I said: The ship wasn´t quite big.

A sigh escaped my lips while I watched one of the men carrying my only piece of luggage on board. Corrine, Ellen and the other women had clubbed together clothes and even some jewellery for me. I was still overwhelmed by this gesture. In the last few days I had experienced the settlers only as friendly and big-hearted and my fears that they could dislike me had vanished soon. I had nearly taken them to my heart and I was sorry that I had to leave them. I hadn´t met people like them before and I would take this experience with me to my home as a gift. Unfortunately I had only been shortly able to bid farewell to everybody because all of them were involved with tidying up the homestead after the storm and to steady it in case that another storm follows. So I stood here alone and waited for Connor, full of impatience. He should had been here already and the crew had brought everything on board in the meantime and seemed to be waiting, too. But no one of them got the idea that he could accompany me on the ship. Consequently Connor didn´t seem to be the only boorish man I would have to deal with during the next months. _That´s going to be fun._

Briefly I thought of just getting on board by myself but footsteps behind me held me off it. I turned around and paused the movement in surprise when I saw who was approaching me. It was Connor who looked totally different than I used to know him. With that I didn´t mean that he had a bright smile on his face and was humming a melody. It was the clothing he was wearing and which made him nearly another man. He had replaced his assassin-robes with a navy blue coat with white fittings and golden buttons and on his head he wore a likewise blue tricorn with golden decorations. You could have take him for an officer if there weren´t the native embroidery on this sleeves, the hidden blades on his arms and the tomahawk on his belt. But he looked handsome. Quiet handsome actually.  
"Are you all right?"

Connor had stopped in front of me in the meantime and looked me up searchingly. I needed a moment until I noticed that I was staring at him like he was an attraction in a circus. Caught I cleared my throat, pointed my gaze hastily on a spot somewhere over his shoulder and responded sharply: "Of course. You just took your time." I turned away and walked towards the ship. "Can we get on board now?"  
Now I didn´t care if one of the present men would behave like a gentleman and would accompany me on board. I was just hoping that my face wasn´t that red like I felt it was. Luckily Connor didn´t comment on my behavior but followed me wordless on board of the ship and was greeted by the crew loudly.

A black-bearded man with broad shoulders and in an officer´s clothing approached the assassin, greeted him, nodded to me and addressed Connor. "The men are ready, Sir. We can hoist the sails in every moment."  
Enquiringly I raised an eyebrow and my gaze scampered between the two men. "Shouldn´t we…wait for the captain?"  
I heard the crew chuckling while Connor gave me a short gaze from the side. But I didn´t get an answer to my question. The assassin turned back to his counterpart instead. "I would like to address some words to the crew before we set sail, Mr. Clutterbuck."  
The man nodded and Connor climbed the stairs to the upper deck, rested his hands on the balustrade and looked down to the crew, which viewed him quietly and expectantly.

"I know that some of you, including me, have never left our domestic waters before. We never turned our back to the American coast but we will change that today." Connor didn´t need to raise his voice. Everyone on deck could hear what he was saying and heard the determination in each of his words. "We will shoulder this journey to fetch back our friends, especially our first mate. Faulkner isn´t going to join us on this journey but he will be back soon, standing beside me and barking his instructions, that I promise you. So prepare the sails, hoist the anchor and let us fetch him back." The men started to yell, to applaud and to stamp on the ground and it wasn´t necessary to ask for the ship´s captain. Maybe I should stop wondering about anything concerning Connor. He had managed to surprise me again and again so far and I asked myself whether and what I was going to learn about him during this journey.

* * *

A few hours later we had left the bay behind us and had reached the open sea. A stiff breeze carried the Aquila, the ship´s name as I had learned in the meantime, forwards and ensured furthermore despite of sunshine that a frosty temperature prevailed on deck. Although I had wrapped the coat I was wearing tight to my body and tried to keep me warm through walking, I was freezing and envied the crew their work which was keeping them warm. I had crossed the deck of the Aquila several times now, more than the men were grateful for, because I seemed to distract them as soon as I came nearer to them. Having enough of the gazes they were giving to me, I returned to the ship´s bow, where one of the sailors had taken the wheel, which had been in Connor´s hands before.

The assassin himself stood by the railing, having his arms rested on the wooden balustrade and the gaze directed to the more and more departing coast. "It´s always hard to leave his home", I said while I joined him. Connor gave me a short look from the side and nodded. "But I know that I will come back." The way he said it dispelled every doubt in his words. He was nearly as determined as he was rude. A short silence reigned between us while we watched what was laying behind us and I became aware of that I wouldn´t had entered a ship which was heading for England, if I hadn´t met Connor. Maybe I would sit by my window, drowning in my self-pity while the slaves on our property were suffering. So much had changed in the past few days and now I was really on my way back home. "Thank you for taking me with you."  
Connor leaned back from the railing and looked at me. "We have a deal. I take you with me and you tell me, what you know about the templars in London. There is no reason to thank me." So he turned away and went back to the wheel.


	10. Chapter 10

**Days on the open sea**

 _March, 1783_

Two months had passed since we had left America. I had quickly gotten used to the life on board again but I longed for company, with every day that passed. The crew gave me the cold shoulder and Connor…well it was Connor. As often as I tried to involve him into a conversation, he always found a way to nip these attempts in the bud and I nearly got the feeling that he was going to be happy when we would arrive in London, where he could get rid of me. As much I missed serious conversations, as much I missed a coherent activity.

The books in the captain´s cabin, which Connor had offered to me, simply discussed the seafaring and were not quiet entertaining. So when I wasn´t having little walks on deck or looked out to sea, I sat alone in the cabin and played chess. The only activity I felt to be fulfilling even though I felt myself pitiable, sitting there on my own and playing against myself.  
On this day I had withdrawn to the cabin again, had taken a seat behind the oaken table and had built up the game board, while the rain was pattering against the windows and the waves were hitting the bulwarks. Until now we had been lucky about the weather but today it was like the sea wanted to proof to us that she wasn´t always that peaceful. One more reason for me to distract myself, although the chess pieces sometimes started to slid over the game board or fell over.

I unperturbed kept playing and just looked up shortly, when someone knocked on the door, to ask the guest in. It was Connor who took off his head and the rain-soaked coat and went to me. "What are you doing?" He placed his hands on the back of a chair and looked down at me with skepticism. "I´m playing chess:"  
"Against yourself?"  
"Against who else?"  
It reigned a moment of silence in which I played move after move, feeling Connors gaze on me. He just stood there and watched me. Totally enervated I eventually looked up to him and pointed to the chair, he was still leaning on. "You can sit on it. They are actually made for that. You make me nervous when you´re just staying there."

Connor raised an eyebrow but finally took a seat, just to place his elbows on the table top and his head on his hands. Sitting that way he silently watched my game again. I tried to keep concentrated on it, but I couldn´t. A short time afterwards I pushed away the game board in resignation, leaned back with my arms folded in front of my chest and my grim look directed on Connor. But he didn´t seem to understand my reaction. "Why did you stop?"  
I snorted indignantly. "Because I don´t like it that you are just sitting there, staring at me. "  
His eyebrows rose again. "You told me to take a seat."  
In face of the truth of his words I hadn´t no other option than to deny myself an answer. I sighed deeply instead, ran my fingers through my hair and looked my person opposite over. Surely he wasn´t here to watch me playing chess.

"Why are you here?", so I asked and given to Connors gaze, I was right. "The men are saying that it will not take so long until we will arrive. I thought that it is now the time that you tell me about the templars."  
Of course. What else he would want to talk about with me? I sighed again and nodded slowly. But when I looked at the chess board I smirked a little. I pushed it in the middle of the tabletop and while I put all the chess pieces on their rightful place, I said: "I will tell you about the templars and you will play with me in the meantime." I rose my gaze and grinned at him. "You´re playing chess, aren´t you?"  
Undetermined the assassin looked at me before he nodded. "Achilles had shown it to me. But I am not here for playing. There are more important things."  
Now it was on me to look at him with my eyebrows raised. "I think that you are pretty able to talk incidentally. Unless, you are afraid of losing."

A snort was the answer and Connor moved closer to the table. For a moment he looked at his white pieces, before he made his move. I smiled triumphantly. To grab a man by his honor was always successful. I made my move and looked at Connor then expectantly. "What do you want to know?"  
His gaze directed at the chess board, he shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you know. How mighty is the order? Who is it´s grandmaster? The names of other members…"  
Thoughtful I frowned while I watched him moving another piece. "I don´t know who is the grandmaster at this time. The last time it was a Maximilian Olden, but he was already ancient a year ago. I doubt that he is still in office." I did a short break, placed my move and spoke again. "The order itself is omnipresent in London, you will have to be careful with whom you are speaking with. Almost every important office is manned with a templar and they are even paying the beggars for getting them information about their enemies.  
Frowning, I watched Connor putting one of my captures pawns next to the board. Maybe it hadn´t been a good idea to play and to speak at once. So I took my time to think about my next move before doing it and thinking about Connor´s question again.

"I can´t tell you any names, really. As I said they are omnipresent. If you know one of them, you don´t know all of them at all. You will have to expect that you can meet a templar at any street corner and the guards in the city are merciless. So it wouldn´t be advantageous if you draw too much attention. British prisons aren´t pleasant."  
Connor raised his eyes and nodded slowly. "I can imagine it."  
I gave him a questioning look whereupon he lowered his eyes on the game board again.  
"I already got to know a British-managed prison." His voice sounded almost casual while he made his move. I had never heard about an assassin before, who had gotten imprisoned. But what did I know?  
"How did you got out?"  
"By escaping from the gallows."  
I gasped for breath and stared at him. He just frowned, gave me a short look and nodded in direction of my pieces. "It is your turn."  
It was impossible to learn more about him. I should have already got used to it. So I forced myself to concentrate on the game again.

* * *

We sat there for a long time and played in silence, while we could push the weather outside to the back of our minds. When Connor won the first match he was visibly satisfied with himself and let himself be talked into playing another one. When I had won, we just sat opposite from each other and listened to the rain, which became fainter. I had nothing against the silence this time. I was kind of glad that Connor had devoted time to sit and play with me. Usually I had the feeling that he avoided my or anyone´s company. He was no sociable man but sometimes he showed me different sides to him, which managed to surprise me. I had heard once, that you could see the character of a chess-player through his play and Connor was definitely a calm and strategic player, who precisely considered every move and he behaved just as thoughtful in real life. I always had the feeling that he was laying in wait and wanted to be prepared for every situation. But wasn´t it a lonely life, when you were holding everyone in distance?

I looked at the assassin in front of me, who was looking into the rain outside with serious eyes. The face almost emotionless but nevertheless he had a grim expression about his mouth, as he would be already by his enemies in his thoughts. I knew him for two months now and I had never seen him smile or even laugh once. Somehow I was sorry for him.  
"Do you actually have someone, who is really close to you? In the homestead or somewhere else?"  
The question came totally sudden and when Connor turned to me again, I could see that he couldn´t retrace it. "In the homestead…everyone is close to me. We are friends."  
I couldn´t prevent that a smirk appeared on my lips which seemed to confuse Connor even more. "No, I didn´t mean it like that. I meant…if you ever had been in love with someone or if you are. If there is someone you like to be with and with whom you wish to have a future."  
Connor´s gaze was now full of incomprehension. Frowning he looked at me and I felt how I blushed. Why couldn´t I keep my questions and thoughts for myself once? Hastily I waved aside. "Alright, you don´t have to tell me."

Connor stayed silent and I almost thought that he wouldn´t answer me. But then he turned his gaze to a spot on the wall and did. "Until now I have not had the time for that. I had to deal with other things. With other people."  
"You haven´t had the time? Did you never think about what you want in your life?"  
He shrugged his shoulders. "That is my life. I am comfortable with it. I guess I would not be a good husband, if I do not have enough time for my wife."  
I looked him over silently and tried to figure out if he really meant what he had said. Wasn´t he really missing it, to have someone he could trust and who was giving him moral support? Could you really be happy when you were dedicating your whole life to others? I couldn´t believe it but I decided to stop asking.

There wasn´t time for it anyway, because when we were silent again, a call sounded from outside. "Land ho!" Connor and I nearly stood up simultaneously and went to the door. Connor gave me his coat, which I put on with thanks and together we went out into the rain. The crew had spread out over the whole main deck and looked into the deep-hanging clouds. The helmsman came running to Connor and unnecessarily pointed straight ahead when he said excitedly: "One of the men had sight the coast from above, Sir."  
I frowned and tried strained to see something but the weather didn´t permit it. "Unfortunately I can´t see anything."

Connor gave me a look from the side and silently indicated to me that I should follow him. Confused I went with him to the Aquila´s main mast where he grabbed a rope which was hanging there. "Do you really want to see it?", he asked and when I nodded in confusion, he put his arm around me without warning, held me close to himself and kicked against a lever on the lower end of the mast. Suddenly we were torn up with such a speed, that I couldn´t even react with a scream. I just clung to Connor in panic and heard, how the wind howled past my ears. We hardly had taken off before we landed hard and when I came off my stiffness caused by fear, I realized that we stood high up in the crow´s nest. The wind tore at our hair and our clothing and I was glad about the coat which was fairly protecting me. But any cold was forgotten anyway when I looked straight ahead. From up here you had a free view on the whole sea, which was surrounding us but even more on the dark stripe on the horizon. The British coast.


	11. Chapter 11

**Arrival**

The first thing I noticed when we docked in London was the stench. It smelled of old fish, waste water, fish oil and other scents, whose origin I rather didn´t want to know. It was the stench of the metropolis which I hadn´t noticed during my departure, a year ago but which made me wrinkle my nose now. Not even in Boston or New York it had stunk like that. Nevertheless I was full of anticipation of my native city and we had hardly docked before I left the Aquila, stepped onto the pier and glanced at the roofs which were still familiar to me. It was only the mass of people, I wasn´t used to anymore. The whole harbor was full of people. Sailors who were doing their work, traders who were loudly offering their goods, travelers who were hasten over the pier and beggars who were pleading for some coins. The air was filled with hundreds of voices and it didn´t take so long until I had to step back on the plank to avoid being hit by a cart.

Connor stepped aside me and scrutinized our environment but his face didn´t show the same excitement I felt, at all. On the contrary. "So, this is England?"  
"This is London." A smile lighted up my face as I pointed to the roofs which laid behind the harbor. "In areas like this, the city is a real mess. But when you get closer to its center, it is a true beauty."  
From the corner of my eye I could see Connor giving me a skeptical look from the side, but I ignored it. I loved London and I was sincerely an Englishwoman. I couldn´t wait until I would walk through these familiar streets again. "If you say so", Connor murmured, not quite convinced and started to turn his tricorn between his hands. "Do you know, where you will go?"

I gave him a short look and nodded. "I will go to a former teacher of mine. She will surely take me in for a while."  
"Good." Connor nodded slowly, gave a signal to the ship and shortly afterwards one of the men brought my suitcase, put it down beside me and went back on board without a word. Suddenly I had the feeling that they wanted to quickly get rid of me. I swallowed heavily and stared at the suitcase next to my feet, while Connor still stood beside me and wasn´t saying a word. Somehow I didn´t dare to look at him. It had always been clear to me, that our paths would separate, as soon as we would reach London, but now that the time had come, this thought wasn´t easy to me. I had gotten used to the assassin´s company, even though I wouldn´t miss his gruff nature.  
"Do you want me to accompany you?", he asked and I shook my head.  
"I will get along, thank you." I raised my eyes and smiled at him. "So…I wish you good fortune and take care of yourself."  
The assassin nodded. "You too."  
So I grabbed my suitcase and left without one more word.

I crossed the pier, wormed my way through the crowd, got here and there out of the way of a cart and stood finally on the street, which led further into the city. Shortly I took a look back, but over the heads of the people, I could only see the Aquila´s masts. With a sigh I looked ahead again and squared my shoulders. I should be glad that I hadn´t to deal with Connor anymore. Indeed I owed him so much but his company had not always been a pleasant one. Here in London were enough people who would appreciate my company more than he had done. How I had missed it to hold conversations with cultivated people who knew how they had to behave. How I had missed the soirees, the opera…I had left behind so many things during the last year that I was going to enjoy all this completely. _I´m free and I´m home. I should enjoy it._  
Determined I crossed the street and followed the pavement which would lead me into the centre and so into the upper quarters of the city. Away from the stinking area of the harbor, the muddy streets and the beggars, who were sitting in each corner of the streets. I knew exactly where I had to go and as soon as I would get there, I would be home finally. I smiled with this thought and quickened my pace.

But suddenly I got grabbed at my wrist and someone took my suitcase out of my hand. I whirled around, expecting that I had become the victim of a thief but in front of me stood Connor, lifting his free hand to calm me down, when he noticed my scared gaze. In his other hand he held my suitcase. "I wanted to make sure that you will arrive where ever you want to go", he said calmly and I needed a moment to ease my rushing heart. "Do you have to sneak up like that? You scared the wits out of me."  
"Pardon me, I did not intend to."  
I took a deep breath and finally nodded slowly. "Never mind. So come on then, we shouldn´t stay here for too long." Over Connor´s shoulder I could see that people seemed to had taken notice of his unusual arms. He had put his bow and quiver over his shoulder and carried his tomahawk on his belt as usual. In a city where men were mainly carrying rapiers and pistols the assassin had to attract attention like that. Uniformed or not.

Silently we walked along the street side by side and while I just paid attention to our way, Connor seemed to have his eyes everywhere. Watchful he perceived every detail of his environment, like a predator in a foreign territory and strictly speaking, he was just like that. As I had told him before, in this city a templar´s agent could be hiding in every corner of the streets. But this suddenly didn´t seem to be his main-preoccupation. When we approached a market place, Connor stopped all of a sudden and his hand moved to his tomahawk. Confused I looked at him and tried to figure out then, what had alarmed him. Like at the harbor, many people were lingering over the market place, absolutely normal from my point of view. At least until my gaze stopped by three soldiers who were arresting a man right in this moment. He wriggled, hit out wildly all round him and tried to free himself from the soldier´s grab, who for their part tried to sedate him by beating him.

A terrible sight but just as usual. Probably the man had stolen something and now was punished because of that. But Connor didn´t seem to take it as usual. His expression became hardened and I could prevent just in time that he took his tomahawk and attacked the soldiers by grabbing his wrist. "What do you think you´re doing?", I hissed and earned an angry look. Almost like at that time when I had wanted to pull him back from Richard. "Redcoats", he growled and the scales fell from my eyes. He had fought against the king´s soldiers during the War of Independence. For him, they were still the enemy but here they played a different part than they had done in America. "You are in England now", I tried to make it clear to him in a calm voice. "The soldiers are patrolling everywhere in the city and are taking care of the people´s safety. It´s their duty to arrest this man if he has done something wrong. You cannot attack them just because they fit into your concept of an enemy. They are only your enemies here if you do something which contravenes the king´s law."  
Connor´s expression was still tensed but he took his hand from his weapon´s handle, what makes me give a sigh of relief.  
"It is still not their right to treat a single man like that", he growled and I had to agree with him to myself. The methods of the soldiers weren´t always the right ones but they were only carrying out orders. "Let us keep moving", I said and was relieved when Connor followed me without any protest, his attention still turned to the soldiers, who were just pulling the man into a prison-cart.

We crossed the place and got to the upper quarter of London shortly afterwards. Here the houses were bigger, richly decorated and elegant carriages were driving over the plastered streets, which were free of beggars. Even the people here differed completely from the inhabitants of the lower quarters. The wore silk robes, the man had white wigs on their heads, while the Ladies covered their heads with richly decorated hats. Once in a while valuable jewelry lit up in the sunlight, which the Ladies were trying to keep away from their pale skin by means of a parasol. Again and again they casted a glance at Connor and me, partly curious partly derogatory and it became clear to me that I didn´t fit into this society with my simple linen-dress and the light tan I had gotten during the journey. Just as the assassin beside me who appeared out of place alone through his appearance. He looked the people around him over as disparaging as they did and when a Lady even changed the side of the street when we approached, he snorted in indignation. "Are all Englishmen that condescending?", he asked me and nearly ashamed I shrugged my shoulders. "Not all of them", I murmured and was relieved when our destination appeared in front of us.

It was a snow-white manor with a beautiful front garden and a tall iron-fence which surrounded the property. I grabbed the bell-cord, which hang beside the gate and pulled on it. Shortly afterwards a young girl in the clothing of a maidservant appeared and stopped in front of the gate, to look us completely over before saying in a cool tone: "Milady doesn´t welcome street traders."  
I didn´t let myself being put off by her tone, raised my chin and answered almost likewise cool: "Tell her that Lillian Jarvis wishes to talk to her. I´m a former student of Lady Bonham."  
The maidservant looked me over again speculatively, before she nodded shortly and went back to the house again.  
"Very hospitable", I heard Connor mumbling next to me but I ignored it. I looked at the front door which stayed closed the whole time. Almost I thought that the maidservant would let us stay outside but then she came out again, opened the gate and asked us to come in. Undetermined I turned to Connor who shook his head and gave my suitcase to me. "I think I should go now. Obviously you are welcome here. Farewell, Lillian." He bent his head before turning away and walking down the street. "Farewell, Connor", I murmured when he disappeared behind a corner.


	12. Chapter 12

_Hey :)_

 _Well, here´s the next chapter and I want to thank again for your feedback. It motivates me a lot. ;)_

* * *

 **Lady Bonham´s lessons**

I followed the maidservant into the house and got lead into a grand parlour. The curtains were closed and the daylight, which was shining through the thin fabric, bathed the room in misty light. Still accustomed to the brightness outside my eyes needed some time to get used to the gloomy environment and so I initially overlooked the old Lady, who was sitting in an armchair in the back end of the parlour and was holding her hands out to me. "Come to me, girl. I want to convince myself that Flora really doesn´t let some vermin into my house."

I approached her slowly and held out my hand to her, which she immediately enclosed with a firm grip. "I´m glad to see you again, Theresa." I saw a matt smile flitting across my former teacher´s face and she indicated to me that I should take a seat on the armchair next to hers, without letting my hand go. "Lillian Jarvis. When your uncle had dragged you to America, I thought England´s men would have finally lost you." She stroked my hand with one of hers and clicked her tongue when she paused at my ring finger. "But obviously you´re still not married. Now that you got rid of your uncle, you should see that this happens as soon as possible. You´re not getting younger and before that you notice it, you are an old, shriveled maid and nobody will remember, that you used to be a pretty thing once." She released my hand, leaned back and directed the gaze of her glassy eyes to me. Theresa Bonham was blind but in her company I had always the feeling that she was seeing more than anyone else. As she would look right through someone and uncover his thoughts. Even now I felt that I got appraised and I was glad that she couldn´t actually see how I looked like.

Simple clothing, my hair not done, a tanned complexion. Theresa belonged to the old school and had always made clear to me that I had to be dressed in the manner befitting my social status. That I had to surround myself with people who were appropriate to me. She was very conservative and strict with that but she was the only person who had defended me against my uncle because she never had thought highly of him. Mostly because he had used to make disparaging remarks about her. Lady Bonham had been a part of the higher circle of the templar order once. As a woman however she had no business to be there, in his opinion and as Theresa had turned her back to the order one day, his attacks had become more caustic than before.

"So you know about Richard?", I asked and kneaded my hands uncertainly. I was afraid of the answer. "Everyone knows that your uncle is dead. The only sad thing about it is that he hadn´t perished as miserable as he would have deserved it." She snorted contemptuously.  
"And what about me? Did someone ask for me?"  
"Well, everyone is convinced that your uncle became the victim of his slaves. No one has asked for you and you should be glad about it. Nobody is going to want to know if you cleared off or got taken away by those creatures. Whatever it was: I don´t want to know it either and in case that someone asks you, you should tell him, that you needed to flee and everyone is going to take you as the victim you basically are. Nevertheless I am glad that you came back from this godless country."  
She waved to the maidservant, which had stood in a corner of the room during our conversation and instructed her to make tea, before she grabbed my hand again and stroked over my dress´ sleeve. She wrinkled her nose.

"Do they really wear this terrible fabric over there? I really hoped that this country wouldn´t influence you that much. But obviously Richard had missed to protect you from the influence of these revolutionary idiots."  
"Well, actually this has nothing to do with Richard. I…got these clothes from some settlers as a gift. I had none anymore and they were so friendly..."  
"Oh, come on. An ungrateful riff-raff, that´s what they are. All of them." She let my hand fall down and sat up. "Richard hasn´t done a favor to you when he had brought you away. America isn´t something for a girl like you. I haven´t spent so much time with your education so that you dress yourself in rags and make friends with people, who have no respect for their fatherland."  
I frowned and opened my mouth to answer her back, but she raised her hand and so instructed me to be silent. "You wouldn´t have come back if you would have been attached to America that much. Or are you going to tell me that you didn´t wanted to come back?"  
"Yes, but…"  
"You see? We don´t have to further talk about it. You´re back and that´s the important thing."  
Theresa leaned back again and a friendly smile appeared on her face. "I´m sure, you didn´t came here for nothing, did you?"

I didn´t know if I should answer this honestly. Her words had made me mad, even though I knew exactly that Theresa was someone who stuck strictly to a once formed opinion and who advanced this directly and bluntly. She was right with the things she had said about me. That I had wanted to return to England the whole time. But I wished she would think different about America and its inhabitants. I had barely experienced something about this country during the last year but the last three days had shown me everything that I wanted to keep in my heart. The settler´s solidarity. Their hospitality. Their generosity. It was completely inconsistent with Theresa´s thoughts about the former colonies but I knew that I hadn´t even to try to make it clear to her.

 _Just be glad finally that you´re back home._  
I sighed silently and looked first of all to the maidservant, who just brought the tea. I took a cup in thanks, laid my hands around it and gazed into the yellowish liquid, which spread a pleasant smell. "I wanted to ask you, if you could take me in for a few days. Just as long as it takes for me to claim my heritage and have a house where I can live in."  
Theresa dripped some honey into her tea, stirred it, lifted the cup to her lips and looked at me over the rim. "Claiming your heritage? Do you really believe that there is still something left over?" She sounded amused. "Well, I am pleased to take you in. But maybe you should think about your situation in a more realistic way. Look for a man who can provide for you, instead of hoping that your uncle had left at least a fraction of your heritage for you."  
Grimly I watched her sipping at her tea and put my own cup back on a side table. My thirst had worn off. "I just hope it", I said shortly and earned a ripple of laughter, which made me mad more than ever. "I will rather try to get my heritage than wasting my time with waiting for a man who I want to marry."

Now Theresa put back her cup, too and shook her head, what made the pearls in her snow-white wig jingle. "Girl, you´re so young, so intelligent. But you´re also so naïve. I know that I have always told you that you shouldn´t allow yourself to be pushed around by your uncle, by a man. We as women are wiser than men and that´s why this is not about marrying the man you want to marry. It´s about marrying the man who can afford you something and with that I don´t mean love. You can get love from every man you make eyes at. You were born into a wealthy family. You can be glad that you´re a part of the upper class and don´t have to crawl in the dirt. But you have to make sure that it persists like this. That´s why you need men. Don´t wait for the man you want. Wait for the man who affords you what you deserve, let him put a ring on your finger and then you can still look for someone you want." She laughed in amusement and gave a sign to the maidservant. "Flora, prepare a bath for Miss Lillian and lay out some clothing for her." She looked at me. "Fresh yourself up, put on something decent and then you will feel home in an instant."


	13. Chapter 13

**Conversations between women**

Four days passed in which I had more problems in accustoming myself to the life in London again than I had thought. After a year in complete isolation, I was overextended with the vividness in my native-city. I wasn´t used to society anymore, too. Right on the first day after my arrival, some friends of my family had paid a visit, had offered me their condolences on my uncle´s death and had pronounced invitations to diverse dinners, soirees and visits in the opera at once which I had declined as polite as I could. Theresa though kept on at me every day that I should show up again on such events, not least because I would never find a man when I would retreat into my shell, according to her. My prevarications that I didn´t feel like it were completely ignored by her. On the contrary, she held the opinion that some time in upper society would help me to settle in again. But settling in wasn´t my only problem.

On the second day after my arrival I had taken a carriage to the central London and had visited the bank, my family used to make businesses with for years. I had presented my father´s last will to one of the employees whereupon he had led me instantly to the bank´s director. He had told me, in an almost one-hour conversation that Richard had used up my whole heritage and had transferred some parts of it to the templar order, for which reason nothing was left for me in the end, thanks to the order which hadn´t gotten in touch so far. Obviously the templars weren´t interested in my return to England after my uncle had been murdered in America. But why should they? At least they had my money now.

Theresa had reacted to this news with a smirk and an "I´ve told you so", but at once she had offered me that she would still house me. "Until you have a man with you."  
But looking for this man wasn´t my priority. Against Theresa´s pressure I spent my time in the house. Read, played the cembalo or just lost myself in my thoughts. Although I had everything now, what I had longed for a few months ago, I had the feeling that something was still missing and this feeling became worse from time to time.

On this fourth day after my arrival, Theresa was finally weary of my seclusion. Without my knowledge she had invited three young ladies, I had grown up with, for the evening and there was nothing else left for me than sitting with them in the parlour, drinking tea and chatting, while Theresa sat in one of the back corners and knitted. Lynette Garbor and Catherine Margot were both married, had children and lived the exemplary life of a wife and mother. They told about their loved ones, spoke about education and the effort it entails to lead a household with several servants. I was unable to avoid that I amused myself in silence about them. They complained about these efforts while I had to remember the women in the Davenport Homestead who had pursued their duties, which were more than Lynette and Catherine had, without moaning about it. Hannah Lokshire listened also to the other ladies' explanations with an amused expression, but this sourly had other reasons. Hannah had gotten married when she was eighteen, had become a widow in the age of twenty-one and was living a life which you could probably call "outlawed" since then. She was a beautiful woman with deep-red hair, green eyes and a flattering figure. The men had always been throwing themselves at her feet and she had always known how to wrapping them around her little finger. She enjoyed her existence as a single woman without children and it was an open secret that no unmarried man who pleased her was safe from her and her charm. She maybe was one of the women, married ladies were making derisive remarks about although they wanted to be like her in fact.

But I was actually glad that in the company of two married women, someone was sitting next to me who was also not quiet interested in family-matters like me. But Hannah had the same opinion about me and the men like Theresa did and Lynette and Catherine had hardly talked about their lives before the whole attention turned to me, who had sat there silently the whole time and had sipped from her tea.  
"So, tell us about America, Lillian", Hannah started and leaned back in her seat with a big smile on her lips. "Is it there really as uncivilized as they say or why is it that you hadn´t find a man even on the other side of the world?"  
I had expected these questions but nevertheless I didn´t know how to answer them. Basically I didn´t want to say anything about this topic and so I shrugged my shoulders. "We had lived miles from anywhere. In the wilderness the population density isn´t quite high."  
A compassionate murmur from Lynette and Catherine, an amused laughter from Hannah. "But in the wilderness are the savages. Well, I would have looked out for one of them. Who knows which benefits they have, compared to our men?"  
"Hannah!" Lynette looked indignantly to the red-haired who innocently fluttered her eyelashes and drunk her tea. Then her gaze turned to me and her face got a nearly dreamy expression.

"But somehow I imagine it romantic. An impossible love and the lover who sneaks to his beloved by night and climbs into her bedroom."  
"Yes and in the end he rescues his dear from her evil relatives who hold her captive. A fairytale comes true." Hannah laughed in amusement and throw a grin to me, what made me hastily brought my cup to my lips, so that she couldn´t see the red on my cheeks. Someone had climbed through my window and someone had eliminated Richard, but it hadn´t had something to do with romance. Nevertheless I felt caught and it hadn´t escaped Hannah´s notice. "Now look at our Lillian", she started and looked me up and down. "You´re hiding something."  
"Right! She´s blushing!" Lynette leaned herself forward in excitement and stared at me too, while Catherine bumped me with her toes and demanded: "You have to tell us at least something! We´re listening!"

Now I sat in front of three curious ladies who wanted to hear some sort of tragic, beautiful love story I wouldn´t be able to give them and I didn´t wanted to either. Even Theresa had stopped her activity and had turned her head into our direction, obviously eager to hear something from me. I cleared my throat, put away my cup and gave an apologizing smile to the others. At the moment there was nothing else left for me than one thing: Escaping.  
"Pardon me. I´m not feeling well. I´m quiet exhausted and it´s late already." The disappointment in the other´s faces was clearly visible but I had stood up already. "Theresa, is it all right if I go to bed?" The old lady nodded shortly and I smiled in apologize again before I bid farewell and left with hurried steps upstairs to my room.

Only when I had closed the door I allowed myself a sigh of relief. I wouldn´t had been able to leave this situation when I hadn´t told them what they wanted to hear. But there was nothing to tell and I hoped that I hadn´t to listen to these question ever again. I ran my fingers through my hair and cursed silently when I got caught on a hairpin. I went to my washstand and started to undo my hairstyle, when I suddenly saw a movement in the mirror. A shadow which came off a dark corner of the room and approached me. Scared I whirled around and looked into a hood-covered face.


	14. Chapter 14

**Unpleasant situations**

"Connor?" Unbelievingly I looked to the man, who stood still and pushed the hood from his head. It was really the assassin who stood in front of me in the semi-darkness and looked me over with a serious gaze. "What are you doing here?" I stood up and was torn between the joy to see him again and the indignation that he had just climbed into my room. Again. Involuntarily I had to think about the conversation I had just evaded and it made me blush again. Why did it have to happen to me of all people? Why couldn´t Connor use the front-door like everyone else? I was so close to reproach him for it but his expression stopped me. He appeared…desperate.

"I need your help, Lillian", he said with a muffled voice and just now I noticed that his clothes were covered in blood. Appalled I gasped because I thought he was badly injured and needed my help because of that. I went to my bedside table, turned on the oil lamp and looked Connor over in the brighter light. I was worried, but obviously the blood on his coat wasn´t mainly his. I had seen him like this before. Then as he had fought against Richard´s men. "What happened?"  
He pressed together his lips and for a moment I had the feeling that he didn´t dare to look me in the eyes. I had an argument with some templars", he said slowly and I lifted an eyebrow. "An argument? You mean you fought and they lost."  
"The majority of them. I…wanted to find out where my friends are but I had no chance. They were too much of them." His hand moved to his tomahawk, as the thought of the fight alone would make him feel the need to pull out his weapon.  
"I thought that you got help from the other assassins."  
Connor snorted and shook his head. "The templars had nearly driven them out. They had to withdrawn and said that I am on my own. My friends are no assassins and they need to take care of the brotherhood´s safety."

His fist clenched and I feared that he would beat something with anger. Slowly I approached him because I felt the need to comfort him. I extended my hand to him but he took a step back and I saw that his left sleeve was ripped at his shoulder and that blood from an invisible wound soaked the fabric. "You´re injured after all."  
He followed my gaze and shook his head slowly. "That is nothing. I guess a bullet had grazed me when they had shot at me. It will heal."  
The indifference in his voice shocked me and made me angry at the same time. He risked his life, let others shoot at him and pretended that all of this was nothing. An indignant snort escaped me and with a determined expression I indicated to him that he should sit down on my bed. "I will get something to treat your wound. Stay where you are." I saw that he wanted to contradict but I had already left the room.

Hurried but also as quiet as possible I went down the hallway and headed for the bathroom. Downstairs in the parlour I could hear the ladies´ voices, who obviously hadn´t left already. I didn´t want them to get the idea to look after me and so I didn´t want to attract attention. Silently I slipped into the bathroom and started to search the cupboards, hoping that I would find something I could treat Connor´s wound with. I just hoped urgently that he stayed and didn´t disappear. I was worried about him.  
In one of the cupboards I found a little box, opened it and fortunately I found everything I needed in it. Bandages and a sewing kit, how I hoped that I wouldn´t need the latter. I had never stitched a wound before and didn´t want to make this experience. _Now I need alcohol for sanitizing._  
I searched the other cupboards but didn´t find what I needed.

Silently I sneaked out of the bathroom again, the box with the bandages stuck under my arm. My way led me directly to the little parlour and out of its well-stocked bar I took a bottle of scotch. Alcohol was Alcohol and why shouldn´t you be able to sanitize a wound with scotch? With the captured bottle I headed back for my room and froze on half of the way. By the door stood Hannah who seemed to have just knocked and had already placed her hand on the handle. As she noticed me she appeared surprised but with a look on the bottle in my hand she was amused.

"Scotch for headache? Obviously you learned at least something over there."  
I stared at her like a mouse at a hawk and my thoughts were rushing through my head. What should I answer? At least I couldn´t tell her about the wounded man who was waiting for me in there. A man who had climbed through my window in the late evening. Repeatedly during this day my cheeks started to glow and babbling I looked at Hannah, who had still her hand on the handle.  
"Yes I…thought I could sleep better. I…wanted to put some cool rags on my forehead, too. That´s always helpful." I tried to smile but failed pathetically.  
Hannah cocked her head and a grin appeared on her face. "Do you know what? I´m going to drink with you. Downstairs it is too boring for me anyway. You don´t have anything against it, do you?"  
"No. I mean…yes…I…"  
But Hannah had already opened the door and had made her first step inside the room. I just stood there like frozen and expected that Hannah would cry out in every moment and would draw everyone´s attention to Connor. But when nothing like this happened, I approached my room slowly. Had Connor caught her and kept her mouth shut? Or had he…? I quickened my pace, entered the room and froze again.

Hannah sat on my bed and let her gaze wander through the empty room. Not a scrap of Connor. The window was closed, too. Slowly I entered and looked through the room, while Hannah stretched out her hand demandingly into my direction. "What´s now? I want the scotch." I passed her the bottle, my hands shaking. She opened it immediately and freely had a deep sip of the alcohol while I was still asking myself where Connor might have gone to. Had he left again? With the wound about what I didn´t know how bad it was? At least he had asked for my help. But why? I went to the window and took a look outside, searching for a sign of life from the assassin. But I could see nothing. I turned to the room again and saw it. The door of the dresser, which stand beside me in the corner, was slightly opened and in the faint light I could see the glance of a pair of eyes, which were looking at me. _Connor!_  
I gasped and had a look at Hannah, who was still sitting on my bed and seemed to haven´t notice anything. The dresser´s door closed again and almost relieved I sat down on the chair in front of my washstand. So he hadn´t left. But how should I get rid of Hannah?

The red-haired indulged in another sip from the scotch and looked into my direction now, frowning. "Tell me, are you really unwell?" She looked me over and I hoped that she wouldn´t notice my nervousness. She mustn´t find out that we were not alone. I didn´t even wanted to think about what would happen if she would find a man in my dresser. She would shout it from the rooftops. Lillian Jarvis, the perpetual virgin invites men to visit her in her room at night and hides them inside her dresser. No, I didn´t wanted to hear something like that about me. I had to get rid of her.  
With a pretended pitiful gaze I laid a hand to my temple and placed my arm on the tabletop while I sighed deeply. "My head feels like it is going to burst", I moaned and made Hannah stand up and approach me. Now she stood right in front of the dresser. "Dear, so you should go without the scotch. It will make it only worse."  
I nodded assumed oversensitive. "You´re right. I need to rest. I´m sorry, we might have so much to talk about."

Hannah looked me up nearly criticizing and in first I thought that she wouldn´t believe me. But then she nodded slowly. "Good. So I will let you rest." She went to the door and put the bottle of scotch on the bedside table. "Theresa mustn´t see me with this." A mischievous grin and she had already left the room.  
I took a hearable breath, buried my face in my hands and sent up a hurried prayer, grateful that Hannah hadn´t noticed anything. This evening could have ended in a catastrophe in an instant. For a moment I listened if someone was going through the hallway, before I rose from my seat, knocked at the dresser´s door and grabbed the water-jug on my washstand to fill the bowl on it.

Connor stepped out of the dresser completely soundless, had a short look to the door and sat down on my bed. I could feel his gaze on my nape. I was still nervous and it didn´t go down when I went to him, the bowl in my hands, putting it on the bedside table and standing then in front of him indecisive. "If I shall have a look on your wound…do you not want to...well" I did an indecisive gesture, he just met with a questioning look. "Either pull up the sleeve or take off completely? I mean…just the shirt."  
There was a glowing on my cheeks again and I nearly hated Connor for starring at me for half an eternity without any reaction. Didn´t he notice that this was extremely embarrassing for me? I didn´t know what he was used to but I had never been in such an awkward situation before. First he climbed through my window, then he hid inside of my dresser and now I had to ask him to take off his shirt. My education had been different than this and I wasn´t Hannah Lokshire who probably would have enjoyed this situation.

I didn´t know if it was some kind of sense of shame which made Connor not to react to my request in an instant or if he was inwardly making fun of me, anyhow he finally nodded, removed his coat and as he began to unbutton his shirt, I turned away and started to soak a rag with water in an exaggerated careful manner. Only when the rustling of clothing behind me had faded, I turned to Connor again. It wasn´t like I had never seen a man with a naked torso before. I had been on sea, I had seen men working on fields and while doing so these men had been in a good distance from me. My education had always told me not to gape and especially it had forbidden me to stand unmarried in front of a half-naked man who had climbed through my window, had hidden inside my dresser and now sat on my bed. Like I said, I wasn´t Hannah Lokshire who would be enjoying this. It´s not that Connor´s sight wasn´t worth it. In the contrary.  
As you could have imagined under his clothes, he was broad-shouldered and the with some scars marked dark skin was stretching smooth across defined muscle-areas. It was a worthwhile sight indeed…but just not if you were educated to a sense of shame like I was. _Concentrate more on treating his wound than on staring at him! And hope that no one will come in._


	15. Chapter 15

**Helplessness**

Still a little inhibited I sat down at Connor´s left side, pulled the oil-lamp on my bedside-table closer and examined the wound on his shoulder. It really looked like a grazing shot. The brinks were burned and although the bullet hadn´t hit him directly it had ripped a deep, bloody wound into the flesh. "Can you stitch that?", Connor asked me. He had turned his arm far enough to look at the wound, too. Uncertain I shook my head. I could stitch fabrics but not humans. The assassin looked me over with an enigmatic expression and finally shrugged his shoulders. "I will do it then if you have something I can work with."  
"You want to stitch it yourself?"  
A shrug again. "Would not be the first time."  
I had to pull myself together not to squinch up my face too much by this thought. I didn´t want to imagine to stick a needle through someone´s skin never mind myself. But compared to Connor´s lifestyle it was quite improbable that this would ever happen to me.

I grabbed the water-soaked rag and started to clean his wound carefully. While doing so, Connor followed each of my movements and didn´t flinched even once. Probably he had developed some kind of resistance to pain after all these years full of injuries. Even though I tried to concentrate only on his wound, I couldn´t prevent that my gaze stuck on the scars on his torso over and over again and with the look at each one of them I asked myself how he had injured himself. Some of them were small and hardly visible. Others were wider and extended over some centimeters over the skin. But especially the scar under his left costal arch caught my eyes. It was nearly round, had almost the caliber of my fist and the scar tissue was completely uneven, as if the wound hadn´t healed for a long time. "What happened there?", I asked and when Connor followed my look, I could see how he squinched up his face, like he didn´t want to be reminded about it.  
"I fell from a scaffolding and a wooden stake bored in." He placed a hand on the scar and his look glided into the void. I was sorry to have asked him because he seemed to normally avoid this memory. But who liked to think about the day when a piece of wood had bored into his body?  
"You had a great stroke of luck."  
Connor squinched up his face again and his voice was full of sarcasm. "Yes, a huge stroke of luck."

An unpleasant silent spread and I was relieved to stand up for a moment to put away the water-bowl and take bandages and the sewing kit out of the box. I took the bottle of scotch too, poured some of the alcohol on a clean rag and sat beside Connor again, who hadn´t let me out of his sight. I myself didn´t dare to look at him and so I just concentrated on disinfecting his wound with the alcohol. When I dabbed the rag against the wound, the assassin gasped sharply for breath and I couldn´t repress a little smirk. Obviously his resistance to pain wasn´t as high as I had thought it was. "Pardon me." I rose my eyes shortly enough to see Connor biting his lower lip and he relaxed quickly as he noticed my gaze. _Men._  
I put away the rag and a bit undetermined I grabbed the sewing kit. I still couldn´t imagine that he wanted to stitch up himself.

But without a word, Connor took the needle and stitch out of my hand, bent to the oil lamp, opened it and put the needle into the flame before he actually started to stitch the wound. Disgusted I squinched up my face and turned away my eyes. I didn´t wanted to watch that. I stared on a spot on the wall instead but every time I heard Connor tighten the stitch, my hackles rose. I couldn´t distract myself from this noise. "How do you need my help?" This question was the only way which came to my mind to do it anyway. But I simply reached that Connor paused for a moment before he continued stitching without answering. Only when he put the needle aside and I dared to look at him again, he took a deep breath and for a moment it seemed as he felt bad about my question.

Slightly indecisive about what I should think about that, I grabbed one of the bandages and began to wrap it around Connor´s arm. He had stitched the wound amazingly well and it was unmistakable that he had done this often before. To come out with his thoughts still wasn´t his strength. Silently he was sitting next to me and watched me during my activity until I moved away from him and he started to dress himself with a murmured "Thank you". Not until he had done this, the assassin turned to me and I could see in his eyes that he seemed to be torn. It nearly scared me to see him this way. Almost helpless. Connor took a hearable breath and he ran his fingers through his medium-length hair before he said hesitantly: "You are the only one who knows this town and who I trust. You have access to the higher social classes and you know the templars. You have to help me find out where my friends are. The assassins do not want to help me and…I cannot do this on my own."It seemed to be hard for him to admit that but now his desperation, I had seen before when he had come to me, became apparent on his face again.

"But I don´t know how I should help you. I…cannot go to the persons responsible and asked them for your friends."  
"But you told me that the templars have men in every possible position. You certainly know opportunities to get to them or to get information which could help me find the others."  
I silently looked him over while my thoughts were rushing through my mind. I badly wanted to help him but I just didn´t know how. Of course I knew some of the high-ranking templars. Judges, officers, even a king´s counselor. But that didn´t mean that they would talk to me or that I knew how to get to them. Never mind how Connor should do that. Tensed the assassin sat next to me and looked at me constantly. It became unpleasant and I turned away my eyes, stared on my hands instead. I didn't know what to say to him.

A tensed silence reigned for a while until Connor suddenly snorted scornfully and stood up. "All right. I am sorry that I have bothered you." He threw on his coat and stumped to the window. Confused about his reaction I leaped to my feet and looked after him. Not until he intended to open the window, life returned to my body and I hurried to follow him. "Wait! I want to help you." He turned to me and I saw that he couldn´t believe me really. "I…may not know how, but I know someone who does." I looked at my hands which I had started to knead in exertion. I wasn´t sure if the thought, which had come to my mind, would show the right way. But I had already excited Connor´s curiosity and as I raised my eyes I looked into a pair of expectant and hopeful eyes.  
"Come back tomorrow morning but please not through the window like you did today. Ring the bell at the gate and I will let you in." Connor raised an eyebrow but I calmly shook my head. "Just trust me and…don´t wear your assassin-outfit in case that someone sees you…" Now he definitely looked skeptical and I expected protest before he nodded. "Well then. I will be there."


	16. Chapter 16

_**Hey everyone :)**_

 _ **I wanted to thank you again for your reviews and support. I really appreciate it and hope that the grammar mistakes I make aren´t bad enough to make the text unreadable. As soon as a friend of mine - who´s quite better in English than I am - has the time, she will have a look on each chapter. Promised. ;)**_

* * *

 **The eagle and the cross**

The next morning I was restless as I had never been before. Nervous I paced back and forth in the manor´s entrance hall and ignored masterly the skeptical looks of the servants who passed me. What had I thought? Was I really going to let Connor into this house and meet Theresa? An assassin and a templar, who had on top of everything a contemptuous opinion about Americans. I must have been mad. I stopped and stared into the mirror on the opposite wall. My reflection was entirely pale about the gills and by my running to and fro a part of my hairstyle had become undone, which I had whipped up on my head more careless than careful anyhow. I sighed deeply, stepped closer to the mirror and tried to make the best of it. If I had to lead Connor to believe that it was right to speak with Theresa, I didn´t want to look like a disheveled scarecrow. But when several strands of hair fell into my face repeatedly and I had made it worse in the end, I groaned enervated and grubbed the remaining hairpins out of the hairstyle which wasn´t one anymore.

Why were women taking great efforts to pile up their hair somehow elaborately in the morning, just to hide it under a hat when leaving their houses? In the meantime fashion had passed on to cut one´s hair to shoulder-length and to do it until it looks like a wire brush. But I liked my hair, even if it ranged to my bottom by now and therefore it could definitely meet a scissor again. I sighed to my reflection, in whose face some strands of hair were still falling in. "A lost cause", I grumbled and flinched shortly afterwards when I heard a ring by the gate outside.

"Are you expecting a visitor?" Theresa appeared in the door to the parlour and I flinched once again. I hadn´t told her that I had invited Connor. After all I had still the naïve hope that the two of them wouldn´t reject each other completely. "Ehm…yes…", I stammered and pushed myself hastily to the door when Flora prepared to open it. "I will do that", I said, gained a disapproving look from her and was then out of the door. Outside I took a deep breath before I looked to the gate, where Connor was already standing and looking impatiently into my direction. "Well then. Let´s go into battle", I murmured, tried to stroke a stubborn strand of hair behind my ear for the last time and walked as calm as possible to the gate, which I opened and where I greeted Connor with a friendly smile. "It´s good to see you."  
He hummed something and benevolently I noted that he hadn´t turn up in his assassin´s outfit.

He wore his officer´s jacket again, but the bow and quiver on his back and the tomahawk on his belt ruined my hope, that he wouldn´t be conspicuous to the people on the street. Even over his shoulder I could see the curious looks of the passers-by but I tried to talk myself into thinking that I would have looked more strange when I would be in the front-yard with a hooded man. So I just sighed inwardly while I maintained my smile externally and indicated to him that he should follow me. But in front of the staircase to the entrance-door I stopped and turned to Connor, now more nervous than relaxed again. Connor noticed it with a raising of his eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"  
"I have to tell you something before we go in."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and under his expectant look it became more difficult to me not to shift from one foot to the other like a child while looking like I had to confess an iniquity…even though I was close to that. "I told you that I´m going to help you", I started slowly. "And I want to do that by introducing you to someone who surely can tell you more than I can."  
I admired Connor for how he had perfected the raising of eyebrows. It was almost as perfect as the indignant snort I had heard several times before. _Concentration, Lillian!_  
"Before you meet her, you should know two things about her." I took a deep breath and considered feverishly which one of these things was the minor evil. "First: She has a quite…special opinion about America and its inhabitants."  
A snort and a scornful raising of the corners of his mouth.  
"And second: She is…a templar." The last word left my mouth sheepishly and caused a bigger reaction than the snorting and the raising of the corners of one´s mouth.

Connor stared at me his eyes opened wide and seemed to ask himself, if I was mocking at him. Then his expression changed from surprised disbelief to mistrust and finally to anger. "You invite me to the house of a templar?" His voice almost cracked in indignation and I couldn´t help it but ducked my head. At the moment I felt like a rabbit which was hiding in his hole, facing a wolf, which could kill it at any time. "You said that you wanted to _help_ me. Instead you are dragging me to my enemy? On whose side are you actually?"  
After this question the rabbit in its hole was forgotten. Furiously I squared my shoulders, straightened up to my full size – which still made me about two heads smaller than him – and replied his gaze. "I´m on no one´s side! Neither on the assassin´s nor on the templar´s. I´m not interested in your ancient and old-fashioned crowds. I stand by the people I´m caring for. Who I think who deserve it."

Connors face relaxed a bit but I hadn´t finished yet. "You said that you need my help and you will find this help in this house. Do you trust me or not?"  
His brown eyes examined me and it almost annoyed me that he even had to think about an answer. But at least he nodded.  
"So do it then or you can leave immediately and don´t need to come back." This time I was the one crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking at him expectantly. I couldn´t tell what was going on in his mind. His expression was enigmatic but another nod from him was all I needed to lead him finally to the entrance-door and ask him inside. In the entrance-hall I ignored the curious gazes of the servants and especially Flora´s venomous look. She seemed to dislike me because of some inexplicable reasons and so she maybe wasn´t thrilled that I brought an unheralded visitor.

But the only opinion I was really interested in was Theresa´s and she sat inside of the darkened parlour again and sipped from her cup of tea when Connor and I entered. "You don´t say. We have a guest." She put her cup aside and looked to us with her glassy eyes while my nervousness grew.  
"Connor, that´s Theresa Bonham. Theresa, Connor…" I faltered and gave the assassin an undetermined look from the side. I just had become aware that I had no idea what his surname was…or if he had one at all. Connor just replied my gaze shortly before he looked to Theresa and I could almost feel the contemptuousness in this look. "Kenway. At least this was my father´s name."  
A fine smile appeared on my teacher´s lips and it looked like she had already realized something which wasn´t obvious to me.

"If it is like you said, I don´t have to ask who you are and why you two know each other." Theresa leaned back in her seat and folded her hands in her lap. "You are this wild bastard of Haytham Kenway. This assassin I actually heard about, like any other templar here in London did. I have to admire your courage that you have come here and also that you´re still alive." The amusement in her voice was unmistakable and I regretted that I hadn´t talk Connor into parting with his weapons. His brow was furrowed and his jaw was grinding tightly. I almost expected that he would jump towards Theresa and slice her throat. "So you knew my father?", he asked with clenched teeth and again Theresa smirked in amusement. "Of course, boy. Your father was a highly respected man in this town, like his whole family. But we were all horrified when we heard that he had been killed by his own bastard. Maybe a quite peculiar way to deal with family issues, isn´t it?"

Theresa´s word had made my expression getting out of control and I stared at Connor completely disbelievingly while his hand was moving suspiciously close to his tomahawk. He had killed his own father? He had never told me that. Strictly speaking he had never told me about his family at all but…how could someone kill his own flesh and blood, even though you had been on different sides? That must have been terrible.  
"Lillian?" Theresa´s voice let me wake up from my numbness and I tore my look off of Connor, who stood stiff like a figure beside me.  
"Y..y..yes?"  
"Now that Connor and I have got to know each other, it would be nice of you to tell me, why you have dragged a half-wild assassin into my house."


	17. Chapter 17

**Ludicrous plans**

I told Theresa everything. How Connor and I had met each other and about his friends, he was still searching for. How he had wanted to use me as a means of exerting pressure against Richard but that my uncle had decided to kill himself instead. I told her about me making Connor lead me to the homestead and how I had been taken in. How Connor had offered me to take me to London and finally about the problems he had to face here and because of which he needed my…our help now. Theresa had listened the whole time without interrupting me once or showing any other reaction to my words. Connor had been silent too and leaned in the door. His arms crossed and his eyes fixed on the old lady. I myself had taken a seat on the chaise longue in the middle of the room, so that I could watch both of them properly.

It was ridiculous but in my mind´s eye I still saw Connor storming towards Theresa. Maybe I could throw myself in his way on time...  
"I´m sorry, that I have to disappoint you." As Theresa began to speak, I finally turned my attention to her, even though her words didn´t sound quite encouraging. "But I don´t know how exactly I should help you. I´ve heard about your three friends, Connor. But I don´t know where they are."  
"I thought so", snorted Connor scornfully but I raised my hand into his direction to silence him.  
"What have you heard about them? Do you know why they´ve been brought here? There must be a reason why Gardner wanted them here in London."  
"Officially they are here as traitors of the crown, what´s ridiculous, because we all know that this is what everyone from over there is."  
I heard Connor snort again but again I raised my hand and was glad that he was staying where he was and actually remained silent. It was pointless to provoke Theresa.  
"But the templars detain them as friends of the assassins. Originally Gardner wanted to make an example of them in America but he brought them here because he couldn´t obtain an official judgment."  
"An example? For whom?"  
Theresa raised an eyebrow and looked at me with her head cocked. "For the assassins. As you already said: The templars have them completely in their hand and they want everyone to know, that someone who supports the brotherhood is a dead man."  
Connor pushed himself off the door-frame and approached Theresa, what made me leap up and stand next to both of them. "So he brought them here to execute them? Just because of that?"

A smile pursed Theresa´s lips and although she surely was aware of Connor standing up in front of her, she leaned back in her armchair and shook her head. "I don´t think so. Not only because of that. I know Jeffrey Gardner well enough to know, that there must be something more behind it but I can´t tell what it is."  
Connor took a deep breath but Theresa raised her hand before he could say something. "It´s not that I don´t want to tell you. I just can´t because I don´t know those other reasons. You will have to discover them on your own."  
"And how do you think should I do that? Where should I start?" Connor´s voice sounded completely angered and the sides of his nose trembled as he breathed heavily in and out. Worried I looked at him from the side but Theresa stayed totally relaxed. "Well, you won´t get somewhere with doing what your brotherhood always does. Sneaking around, killing people and getting answers from them by force before…" When Connor clenched his fist I pushed myself further between them. "Maybe you should try something else."  
"And what?"  
"Conversation. Civilized conversation. Without fists, without weapons, completely without blood."

Connor raised an eyebrow, took a step back, crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at Theresa with derision. I was just glad that she couldn´t see it. Although I was more than sure that she wouldn´t care either.  
"You mean that I should go to the templars, shake hands with them and ask them friendly if they could tell me where my friends are and what they really want?"  
Theresa chuckled. "It seems that you´re not as uncivilized as I thought. That´s exactly what I meant. At least it´s close."  
It wasn´t unavoidable that Connor as well as me stared at the old lady, almost stunned. Was she insane? Or drunk? Or did she really want to make fun of Connor? At least this couldn´t be a serious advice. Connor would never survive if he goes directly to the templars. They would arrest him immediately or kill him instantly. So what was this all about?

"Theresa, I was serious when I asked for your help", I said slowly but eternally determined. When she made fun of the assassin, she made fun of me too and I wouldn´t put up with that. My former teacher turned her head towards me, the smile on her lips hadn´t disappeared. "I know, my dear and you can be sure: For your sake I actually want to help your friend. Slightly for my sake, too. The order had treated me disrespectfully long enough and it would be a pleasure to pay them back this way." She chuckled but her answer hadn´t satisfied me. As it hadn´t Connor, who turned away from us with an angry expression and stamped to the door. "You made a fool of me long enough", he growled but he stopped as Theresa stood up and called him back. "Do you know the saying: Keep your friends close but your enemies closer?"  
Slowly Connor turned around and nodded just to ad a verbal "Yes" shortly after.  
"That´s exactly my advice, boy. Your assassins are skilled in hiding your face in the crowd. No one sees you coming during your doings. That´s why you know that the best hiding place is where everyone can see you. The templars here know your name but they don´t know your face. They are arrogant and if you haven´t acted too stupid during the last days, they would never expect that a wanted assassin is right among them. You have to go to them. You have to look like them, you have to speak like them, behave like them. If you do that, you will be able to make them tell you everything you want to know without arousing suspicion."  
"You want me to masquerade as a templar?"  
"Not as a templar. As a harmless citizen. A businessman." Theresa nodded into my direction. "Lillian here knows everything about our society and since her arrival she received many invitations to soirees. Among them one from a templar, too. You know him, Lillian. Arthur Pellmore, the local highest judge. It would be a shame if you really would decline his invitation and it would be all the more a pity if you would have to go to the soiree alone."

Unbelievingly I stared at Theresa. I understood what she was suggesting but I couldn´t believe that she was serious with that. She couldn´t actually expect that I would drag Connor to the templars in public, that he would have a conversation with them unhurriedly and would learn where his friends were because of that. It was impossible. It couldn´t work although I did understand her logic. If the templars had one weakness at present, it was their strong belief in their invulnerability and to have pushed their enemies far away from their gates. They truly would never get the idea that an assassin was on one of their soirees.  
"But Connor isn´t…well he´s not quite unremarkable. Everyone would notice that he´s from the colonies and doesn´t understand anything about our customs. They will draw conclusions in an instant. Even though they don´t know how he´s looking like, they know his name and as you said yourself, they know about his background."  
Theresa sank into her armchair. She seemed to be thoughtful, before she nodded slowly. "You could be right. Does he actually look like a savage?"  
Undetermined I looked at Connor, who stared back grimly and formed silently the word "savage". I was aware of the fact that he disliked this statement like I did, but somehow I had to answer Theresa. So I was giving him an apologetic look while I said: "Yes, maybe. His skin tone is rather dark, bronze-coloured. He has dark eyes, dark hair…"  
"Is he handsome?"  
I gasped for breath and embarrassed pinched my lips, as I already heard Theresa´s chuckle. Of course. A trick question.  
"You don´t have to answer me. Could he…be taken for a Spaniard? Or an Italian?"  
"I would say yes. But what about his accent?"

Theresa cocked her head and looked at Connor. "Would you be kind enough to say something, boy? Anything."  
Deridingly Connor raised an eyebrow. "I will not pretend to be someone I am not."  
"Right, his accent is terrible but not Spanish or Italian." Theresa clicked her tongue, ignoring Connor´s words completely why I gave him an apologetic look again. "We could say that he´s a Spanish businessman who´s often in the colonies. I heard that you adopt an accent when you´re forced to speak a language which isn't your own. At least it sounds logical. I´m sure English isn´t your mother-tongue either, isn´t it, boy?" She tipped her index finger against her lips and I started to get the feeling that she was enjoying spinning this story. Although Connor hadn´t agreed yet and probably would never do it.

"But you need another name when you venture to the society. If you introduce yourself as Connor Kenway you will be dead even before you can blink. We need…something Spanish. Maybe…Alphonso? Rudolfo? Javier?"  
"Rafael?"  
Dumbfounded Connor stared at me and shook his head silently. Of course. He didn´t want to play this game so he even didn´t want to give it his consideration. But I began to ask myself what could be wrong about it. It could worth a try.  
"Rafael!" Of course Theresa wasn´t noticing anything from the silent conversation between Connor and me and so she was more than thrilled about my suggestion. "Rafael Valdés. I heard, that´s a frequent surname in Spain and I think that you will be able to remember it easily."  
"I am not going to do this!"

Connor beat his fist against the door-frame and looked at Theresa as well as at me with hatred in his eyes. "I will not let myself become involved in such a...game by a templar. This is about the lives of my friends! So if you pardon me: I am going to look for a way to rescue them."  
And so he left the room while Theresa clicked her tongue again. "What a fool." She tapped on my arm. "Follow him before he gets himself killed. He won´t find another way." Helpless I looked down at her but silently I nodded and hurried to follow Connor. He had already left the house and when I entered the front-yard, he was arriving at the gate. "Connor, wait!"

He stopped and turned to me, his hand on the handle while I was approaching him. "You said, I could trust you and then you brought me to a crazy, old lady who wants to force me into some games?"  
"I know that she´s strange sometimes and I understand that you think that her plan is insane."  
He snorted scornfully.  
"But think about it once. She was right with what she´s saying. The templars are everywhere, they are too powerful as that you could reach them on the conventional way. You said yourself that it is impossible. You haven´t had come to me if you couldn´t do it your way."  
I could see how his hand was clenching around the handle and his whole body got into tension. It was like he was fighting against himself and my words.  
"Connor, please", I said and laid a hand on his arm. First he turned his eyes to it, then to my face. Like in so many times before I had the feeling that he was trying to read any insincerity in my eyes. Something that could tell him that he couldn´t trust me. "They are dead if it does not work", he said in a rough voice and I nodded. "But do you have a better idea than Theresa?"  
He shook his head with a grimly expression.  
"I want to help you, Connor. I will help you. You said yourself that I know my way around here and that´s why I´m going to help you making this plan work. It´s just one evening. We will go there, try to find out what´s possible and then…we will see."  
He looked me over again before he lowered his eyes and his shoulders.  
"And you are not going to leave me alone there?"  
"Never."


	18. Chapter 18

**Etiquette**

"Connor, please don´t go making a fuss."  
Being irritated completely, I stood in front of the closed door of the dressing room Connor had entered a half an hour ago. Theresa had ordered Flora to lay out some old clothes of Theresa´s deceased husband, which Connor could wear on the soiree and which he was trying on at the moment. The assassin had insisted that he wanted to wear his captain-clothes in the first place, but after a long discussion I had slightly convinced him that a native-decorated coat wouldn´t make him look like an authentic businessman. The discussion about his weapons was still ahead but at first I wanted to get it over and done to clothe him.

"I am not going to come out of the door, looking like this. I am looking ridiculous", I heard Connor snorting behind the door and rolled my eyes. This man was behaving worse than every woman.  
"Hoods are also quite ridiculous."  
I gave Theresa, who had made herself comfortable on a chair in the hallway, an angry look and hissed: "That´s not helpful", what she just noticed with a shrug of her shoulders. With a sigh I knocked on the door again. "Am I allowed to come in if you don´t want to come out?"  
"But only if your actually dressed."  
A scathing look again from me to Theresa who maybe couldn´t see it but was enjoying herself marvelously about this whole situation. She knew exactly that Connor wasn´t totally fine with the plan and it was making me angry that she was making fun of him. I may not know Lady Bonham different and was already used to her behavior but I wished that she would restrain herself in front of Connor. At least he didn´t belong to the people with this kind of…humor.

 _It´s better to ignore her,_ I thought, right before the dressing room´s door suddenly slid open and Connor stood in front of me, his expression as grimly as I had never seen it before. I took a step back to look closely at him and couldn´t prevent that I burst into a gale of laughter which made his expression becoming darker.  
"What did I say?", he growled and I put my hand in front of my mouth, while I tried to hold back my laughter. I succeeded just partly.  
"You´re not looking ridiculous. The clothes are just…too small for you." I was still giggling while I let my gaze wander over the whole disaster. I´d never met Theresa´s husband but in the face of the clothes I knew now that he must have been much smaller and not as strong as Connor was. The dark-blue breeches extended almost over the assassin´s knees and were too tight. Not to speak of the shirt, the waistcoat and the justaucorps. Shirt and waistcoat tightened over Connor´s chest and he already had to leave the upper buttons open while the frock coat fitted so tight that I wasn´t wondering about Connor´s stiff posture. One movement of his shoulders and the fabric surely was going to tear.  
"Why did you put it on anyhow? You could have told me that the clothes are too small for you."  
Connor was obviously so offended about my amused undertone, that he didn´t even looked me in the eye. His look was stiffly directed to a spot over my head as he mumbled: "Because your men are always looking like it would pinch them somewhere. That has to have a reason."  
This sentence was too much to bear.

First I just giggled quietly and put a hand in front of my mouth to cover it. But then I burst out laughing, not quite ladylike. I laughed about the situation´s comic itself and especially about Connor´s statement, which couldn´t be more true because I had thought about it myself once in a while. The assassin watched me with a skeptical look, how I stood there, my arms wrapped around my abdomen and laughing. Somehow I was sorry for him but I was unable to help myself. Not until Theresa reprimanded me and said that I would behave "like an old fishwife", I began to calm myself. I wiped away the tears from my cheeks, which had stolen up there and pushed Connor back into the dressing room, telling him that he should change again.

As the door was closed I went to my teacher and leaned against the banister. My snicker had vanished and I became thoughtful. "What shall we do now? The clothes really don´t fit him and he needs something to wear. In his coat he will stand out more than he usually does."  
Theresa sighed and beckoned Flora to come over. "Send a message to Julien Lander, he may come to us as soon as possible."  
"Very good, Mylady."  
"Julien Lander?", I asked. I had never heard this name before and ask myself how this man should help us.  
"An old friend and a masterful tailor. The soiree is in four days. I´m sure he´s able to dress your savage properly by then."  
"Don´t name him like this." Indignantly I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked shortly to the dressing room, hoping that Connor hadn´t heard something. "Do you think that it´s a good idea to let a stranger do this? It won´t please Connor and you can´t know that Lander isn´t too curious or gossips on the street."  
"I´m trusting him completely. He won´t be interested in Connor as long as I´m paying him."  
"And you really want to do this?"  
Theresa cocked her head as she heard the doubt in my voice. "Child, I´ve let you drag an assassin into my house. Now I can make sure that he´s dressed properly when you´re going to put in an appearance with him somewhere."

* * *

I spent the next days with the single attempt to prepare Connor for the British society. Although his master Achilles had familiarized him with the standard etiquette, he was quite…simple in this respect. Starting with his table manners. Theresa had invited the assassin to have dinner with us and he had accepted unwillingly as always. I just had been relieved that Theresa was blind, so that she couldn´t had been able to see how our guest had nearly shoveled his food into his mouth. Anyhow I became more and more aware of his fundamental restlessness, he didn´t seem to be able to take it off. He was quickly irritated when he had to sit or stay somewhere for a while and even while he was sitting, it was impossible to bring him into a relaxed posture. He was always on stand-by, always on the run and I couldn´t imagine how he should get through an evening where you were basically eating and talking. As I had learned in the meantime, talking itself was something he wasn´t good at. It was nearly incomprehensible to him why monosyllabic answers, mumbling or snorting weren´t useful to communication and had an impolite effect in some societies. Again and again I tried to encourage him to come out with it while asking him for his interests, his favorite activities, just for everything which could be easy to him to talk about. But I wasn´t successful. He stayed with his old behavior and I prepared myself for being the one who holds the conversations for him. _Maybe we should pretend that he doesn´t speak English…_  
A quite hopeless thought.

Finally the last evening before the soiree had fallen and as so often in the previous days, I sat alone with Connor in the parlour and tried to awake the Englishman inside of him. But the assassin still failed to see why he should deal with all of that. For him his friends came first and since he never had totally agreed in Theresa´s plan anyway, he punished me with bored ignorance. While he leaned in front of the fireplace, I sat slouchy in one of the armchairs, had already given up and had come to the conclusion that it would be easier to teach an ox dancing than making Connor familiar with the British society. It´s going to be a catastrophe.

"Do you think you can manage it tomorrow?" I examined his profile and saw how this grimly expression appeared about his mouth again, which always made me want to punch him in his face, just to see another expression. "I´m going to do what I have to."  
"And you won´t get mixed up with your names?"  
Connor uttered an irritated noise and turned towards me, his arms crossed and his look almost provocative. "I will not but at least I am not the one who has to address me by that."  
For a while we looked at each other silently and as the silence began to be nearly unbearable, I stood up, my face determined and approached him. He won´t get away like this so easily.

"Ask me", I said and looked up to him as provocative as he had looked down to me before. Enquiring Connor arched an eyebrow. "What?"  
"Ask me for a dance."  
"I certainly will not ask you for a dance."  
"Because you can´t dance or because you don´t dare to ask me?"  
A snort.  
"So you can´t dance? A light-footed assassin like you?" I didn´t even stopped my voice from being sneering. I permitted it deliberately because I knew that it would challenge Connor. His look became almost defiant and he pushed his chin forward, his arms still crossed.  
"I do not know why I should be able to dance."  
"Because it´s fun. Dancing is a part of our society. Everybody likes to dance, move with the music. Either the folk-dance of the simple people or the minuet of the higher class. It´s a pleasure and besides it´s an honour for every man to be allowed to lead a pretty lady to the dance floor."  
A smile appeared on my lips and I ignored Connor´s negative posture, he was still showing.

"Please. Give it a try." I reached out my hand for him. First he just stared at it but then he gripped it hesitantly. My smile widened and I pulled him somewhat further into the room.  
"The minuet is difficult indeed and requests a lot of body control and balance but I´m sure that you will learn it quickly if you just want to." I smirked, let Connor´s hand go and took position in front of him. "You´re not dancing it alone but with other couples. Usually the dancing couples stand in front of each other in a line. The men bow, the women drop a curtsy." I bowed my head and curtsied before I straightened up, turned sideways to Connor and reached out my hand for him.  
"The gentleman takes the lady´s hand and together they perform the first basic steps." I showed him the first steps and with joy I noticed that Connor actually engaged with it. Little by little I showed him every single aspect of the dance and in contrary to his common refusal, he made no objection. Totally concentrated and full of ambition he learned the minuet and to his as well as to my own amazement he learned very quickly. Pretty soon I hadn´t to tell him anymore what he had to do and Connor danced the minuet as he had never done anything else before. Without one of us noticing it, some hours passed like this, until I let his hand go with a bright smile and applauded quietly.  
"My compliments. You´re a better dancer than I thought you are."  
Connor snorted but I believed to see a light twitch around the corners of his mouth and I took it as a smile and was completely satisfied. Although I doubted that Connor was going to need his new knowledge, I was glad that he had let me show him something without reacting with refusal in an instant.


	19. Chapter 19

**Names**

The last hours before the soiree passed by agonisingly slow and I tried to stifle my nervousness through preparations. I laid out my dress and my jewellery on my own, I even laid out everything for Connor and went mentally through every detail we had invented about Connor´s identity. Starting with his background, over our first meeting, to his businesses. My only hope was that no one would ask for more information because this construct of lies won´t withstand further examinations. But I also didn´t know if I was more nervous about this or about the fact that Connor still wasn´t ready to engage with this matter. If it would went the way Connor wanted, he would storm in, seek the persons responsible, threaten them and then, a few bodies later, he would leave again. I hoped and prayed for an evening without any dead persons.

After I had dressed myself, had done my hair and had put the last things into my reticule, I glanced to my reflection in the mirror for the last time and set off to the small room Theresa had left to Connor. "With reservations", as she had always emphasized but until now the assassin hadn´t spent a single night in this house and in the face of his host, I wasn´t able to hold it against him.  
Quietly I knocked and entered after Connor had answered. He stood in front of the mirror and looked almost suspicious at his reflection. It made me smirk. Either the fashion of the upper class was no use to him or he was just too vain and I had the feeling that both were the case. Nevertheless he turned towards me and asked me with undisguised scepticism in his voice: "And I have to go out like this?"  
I chuckled and surveyed his appearance before I said: "You´re looking good."  
The cream-coloured waistcoat and the dark-blue frock coat were simple except for the golden buttons on the latter, without any decorations but still elegant. With the black breeches, the white stockings and the black leather shoes, Connor´s clothes weren´t too conspicuous but also not too simple so that you could take him as the businessman he should portray. Only with his hair was something wrong.

"Haven´t I gave you the black satin band instead of the leather band?"  
Connor raised an eyebrow and snorted as he understood what I meant. Shortly he stroked with his hand over his braid, to which he had tied his medium-length hair as always and grumbled:  
"I certainly won´t bind bows into my hair."  
"But no one would tie his hair with a simple leather band."  
"And no one will pay attention to my hair decoration."  
Irritated Connor crossed his arms in front of his chest and I decided to give up this discussion. At least it was only about hair...but one discussion was unavoidable.

As Connor reached his hands out for his weapons, which were lying on the bed, I pushed myself into his way and gained a disapproving look for it. "You can´t take your weapons with you. No one visits a soiree armed."  
He snorted angrily. "No one seems to do anything in this country. I won´t go there unarmed."  
He tried to push himself past me, but I took up position in front of him again.  
"No weapons!"  
I crossed my arms, hoping that I appeared more consistent like that, but Connor grabbed me at my shoulders and pushed me aside roughly. He reached for his weapons but to his anger, I was faster. I grabbed tomahawk and pistol, took a few steps back and held them behind my back. Angrily Connor knitted his eyebrows and took a step towards me, whereupon I advanced backwards.  
"Lillian. Give me my weapons", he growled between clenched teeth but defiantly I raised my chin and shook my head. We must look like two children fighting about toys.  
"Let me make a suggestion", I started, whereupon Connor rolled his eyes.  
"Tomahawk and pistol remain here but you can take your hidden blade with you. As long you´re wearing the justaucorps, no one will notice it."  
Connor´s look turned to his left hand before he nodded unwillingly. I couldn´t hold back a triumphant grin as he put the weapons back to the bed.

* * *

After we had said goodbye to Theresa and had gotten into the carriage, which would bring us to the judge´s house, an awkward silence spread between us during the journey. Connor´s eyes were stiffly pointed out of the window while I was sitting opposite to him and was playing with the small ribbon of the reticule I was wearing at my wrist. I asked myself what was going on in the assassin´s mind. Was he nervous? Maybe even anxious? Or was all of that all the same to him as long as he actually neared his aim to rescue his friends. I wished him that, even though I had to admit that I was looking forward to visit the soiree. It was the first event of this kind that I was going to visit since my return. I would see many people again I hadn´t got to see for a long time now. Among them certainly many people I didn´t want to see but those would be the minor evil if I was thinking of the templars. I myself felt a deep antipathy for them but Connor...he ventured into the lion´s den and if we were going to be unlucky, everything would fail and they would reveal him as the assassin he was.

"Do you remember everything, we talked about?", I asked and Connor finally turned his eyes to me. "Of course." His voice was cool as it was his look he was watching me with. "What about you? Will you not get my names mixed up?" The new name. Something he disliked the most.  
"As long as you are reacting to it..."  
He snorted and looked out of the window again. I regarded this short conversation as finished but pricked up my ears as he murmured: "It is not the first name I have to get used to."  
"Not the first?"  
Again I became aware again of how little I knew about the assassin. He never revealed something about himself and so I never would have come to the conclusion that he had a different name to the one with that he had introduced himself to me. But if I was thinking about it...Connor wasn´t a typical name for someone who was of native origin. His father war British but how I had understood it, Connor had grown up among the natives, the people of his mother and I doubted that a mother would give a name to her child that doesn´t fit to its background.

"Ratonhnhaké:ton."  
I was startled out of my thoughts and gave Connor, who still looked out of the window, an enquiring look. "Sorry?"  
"The name I was born with is Ratonhnhaké:ton. Achilles called me Connor because it is easier to pronounce."  
 _Ratonha...Radon..._ I tried to get the pronunciation into my head but when Connor looked at me, he was able to see that I moved my lips while doing so. For a split of a second I thought that I saw a smirk on Connor´s face. "Just stick to Connor. At least as soon as this evening is over."  
I nodded even though my ambition had seized me already. He had decided to tell me his real name and so I wanted to be able to pronounce it. Furthermore I was pleased that he had told me. At least our names made us up. They were a piece of our personality and so they were the biggest thing we could reveal about us even though you were doing it quite thoughtless.

"By the way, Lillian is neither the name I was born with. At least not completely."  
Connors raised an eyebrow and looked at me enquiringly while a crooked smile sneaked onto my face. "My full name is Lillian Margaret Sophie Anne Jarvis."  
Connors enquiring look became disbelieving and he frowned. "Why does someone need so many names?"  
His question made me chuckle and I shrugged my shoulders.  
"You don´t need them but in a way they have a meaning, at least they did for my parents. Margaret for example was my mother´s mother, my grandmother. Sophie was my father´s mother and Anne was the first queen of the united Great Britain. So it is an honour for me to be named after three special women."  
"And Lillian?"  
"Lillian...that´s me. That´s my first name. The name you call me with. Who knows, maybe someday one of my grand children is going to have my name. In memory of me."  
Connor leaned back, his forehead still furrowed thoughtfully. "Is that common here? To give a child so many names on its way?"  
Again I had to laugh about the sceptical undertone in his voice but I shook my head. "It isn´t common but many people have several first names."  
Connor nodded slowly, murmured something about the British and looked out of the window again. I smirked in amusement but followed his example.

We had left the main street long ago and now we drove over a small path towards the Pellmore property, which was located a bit out of town and I became nervous again in an instant. I hadn´t noticed how time had flown and as our carriage stopped in front of the big manor, I looked briefly to Connor, who seemed to be tensed now, too. "Are you ready?"  
He nodded and when the driver opened the door, the assassin stood up with a determined expression and got off.  
I remained sitting, took a deep breath and started to get off then, too. Connor stood with the back towards me in front of the carriage, his look stiffly directed on the manor and not until I had cleared my throat, he turned to me and a bit sloppy, he reached out his hand to me to help me getting out.  
"Try to smile", I murmured to him while I linked arms with him and we climbed the stairway to the entrance door. The door was opened wide and even out here I could already here the voices and the music, which floated over to us from the house.

In the entrance hall stood servants with trays and greeted us with stiff bows, while offering us something to drink. I refused, for me as well as for Connor and with determination I lead the assassin towards the ballroom, where the soiree was hold. The judge´s house was rather bigger and more splendid than Lady Bonham´s and I noticed how Connor´s look roamed almost disparagingly over all the exhibited riches.  
"And he is a templar, you said?", he asked quietly and after I had nodded, he uttered a scornful snort.  
"When you´re meeting him, you should repress that."  
"I will make every imaginable effort." His annoyed tone would have amused me probably, if we hadn´t entered the ballroom in this moment.

It was almost overcrowded. A normally little soiree had taken on the extent of a ball and I got dizzy because of all the babble of voices, mixed up with the music and the smell of various perfumes. The buffet on the other side of the room was overloaded with every imaginable food and drinks but was just slightly visible behind all the lord- and ladyships who were surrounding it. I began to feel again that I wasn´t used to such turbulence anymore but I was more worried about Connor, who was more and more tensing beside me.  
A short look to him showed me grinding jawbones, knitted brows and pinched lips but I couldn´t do anything else than to murmur "Relax" as calm as possible.  
"You haven´t told me that so many people were going to be here", he growled through clenched teeth and I stayed owing him an answer because we had been spotted by a group of curious ladies already, who pointed into our direction and began to whisper.  
 _And the wheels of gossip are working again_ , I thought annoyed but I kept a friendly smile, as we passed them.

I was still feeling their gazes in my nape when Connor and I approached a seating corner, where two men were sitting and smoking their pipes while they held a lively conversation. As they noticed us, the more corpulent of them got up and approached us with a bright smile on his face, his steps so springy that the braid of his white wig waved wildly back and forth.  
"Miss Lillian Jarvis! What a pleasure to welcome you into my house."  
"He reached out his hand, which I grabbed with a bow of my head and he indicated a chivalrous kiss on my hand before he turned to Connor.  
"And who is this young gentleman with the honour of your company? Not a fiancée we haven´t heard about, isn´t he?"  
"No, a friend from America." I smiled and gave Connor a short look, who seemed to try hard not to look too tensed anymore.  
"That´s Rafael Valdés. A businessman of a Spanish family from the colonies who had accompanied me during the crossing. Rafael, that´s Judge Richard Pellmore. Our host."  
Still with a bright smile on his lips, Pellmore reached out his hand to Connor, on which the assassin just stared on until I gave him a discreet push into his side.  
"It´s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sir", he said and actually made it to smile at the templar in front of him.


	20. Chapter 20

**The wolf in sheep´s clothing**

"A Spanish businessman from America who´s visiting us in our beautiful England. If that isn´t extraordinary." Pellmore examined Connor, still with a bright smile on his face and turned towards the gentleman, who was sitting on his seat and had listened to us until now while smoking his pipe.  
"Rafael, may I introduce you to Walter Tibbet? He´s owner of several warehouses at the harbour. Depending of the sort of your businesses here, he certainly could be a great help to you."  
Tibbet just nodded to Connor as well as to me before he had a deep pull on his pipe and blew out the smoke through his nose. It wafted through the air, got into my nose and mixed unpleasantly with the omnipresent smell of perfume, what gave me a moment of nausea. Nevertheless I maintained my smile, even as Pellmore pointed to a free row of seats and invited us to join them.

"I´m sure you can tell us some interesting stories of America."  
I could feel exactly that Connor most of all would like to turn around and go back, but in his place I accepted the invitation with thanks, took a seat and almost dragged the assassin next to me, who sat down as stiff as always.  
Pellmore´s smile grew wider and as he had sunk back into his armchair with a quiet puff, he beckoned to a servant and instructed him to get something to drink for Connor and me. A moment of silence developed in which Pellmore leaned back to watch Connor over, full of expectation. Tibbet´s attention in comparison was turned to me and I tried to smile away the uneasy feeling, which was spreading inside of me. I hated it when men were staring at me especially if they were as smarmy as Walter Tibbet was.

His worn-out clothes were too small for him and tightened over his plump belly, which was almost plumper than the judge´s. The hair of his stained, white wig stuck to his sweaty temples and now where I was sitting in front of him, I could smell that the unpleasant stench of sweat and the harbour had mixed up with the scent of tobacco. He wore a templar-ring on his right ring-finger, which seemed to be too small for his podgy fingers but at the same time it was the explanation for Tibbet´s presence on this soiree. Wealthy or not, normally someone like him wouldn´t be a welcome guest in such societies and if it would go the way I wanted it, I hadn´t needed to make his acquaintance.

"Well, Rafael. Tell us something about you. Which sort of business is it, you´re doing over there?"  
I heard Connor clearing his throat when Pellmore spoke to him and as I looked to him shortly, our eyes met before Connor turned to the judge again and answered in a firm voice: "I buy up land and transfer it again. Now that the war is over almost everyone is interested in having land in the former colonies and I am getting a good bargain."  
Pellmore nodded interested and pushed his neighbour into the side, whose washy blue eyes were still directed to me...or rather to my décolleté. I cursed that I had pinned my hair up.  
"Maybe we should consider buying land over there, too. But is it safe? I mean, certainly there are still many savages walking around."  
For a split of a second Connor clenched his fists and I feared that he would leap up and attack Pellmore, but he relaxed again.  
"They were forced back deep into the wilderness", he answered shortly and with a husky voice. Pellmore didn´t seem to notice it. He nodded again and had a pull on his pipe, while Tibbet´s look left me and turned to Connor now.

"Your accent is strange", he said with a lethargic and simultaneously unpleasant sounding voice. "Not Spanish. I thought you are from there."  
"My parents. I grew up in the colonies and must have adopted the settler´s accent."  
A nod from Pellmore again and I was relieved as I heard him murmur: "Heard about it."  
Only Tibbet didn´t seem to be totally convinced. He watched up Connor critically, had a pull on his pipe but didn´t say anything more.  
 _Be satisfied with that_ , I thought grimly and noticed with disapproval that he was contended with starring at me again. How I would like to pour him the punch, I had gotten from the servant in the meantime, into his face. But I had to ignore Tibbet and distract myself with my drink instead.  
It was a typical punch for a soiree like this. Fruity, sweet but full of alcohol, which managed it to make you drunk after two glasses. From the corner of my eye I saw, how Connor sipped at his glass, squinched up his face and put the drink aside again. Obviously it wasn´t to his taste and that was a good thing maybe. A drunken assassin among templars wasn´t slightly the thing I would link to a successful evening.

However I kept my glass held firmly in my hand. I didn´t want to make myself drunk, too but I needed something to calm me down with and especially to bear Tibbet´s gaping. If we were going to sit here a bit longer and talk to the gentlemen, I probably had to.  
At least I thought so, until suddenly a delicate figure stopped beside our seats and looked down to us with an engaging smile. "I hope I´m not disturbing the lord- and ladyships."  
Hannah Lokshire pushed one of her beautifully draped red curls back over her shoulder and gave each one of us a smile in which I was quite sure that the one to Connor was brighter than the others.

"I thought because the gentlemen are certainly talking about businesses, I could steal our lovely Lillian for a while and invite her to us ladies."  
"Well, actually..."  
"That´s a very good idea", I got interrupted by Pellmore who gave me a wink. "We don´t want to bore you, Miss Lillian and don´t worry: Your companion is in good company with us."  
 _That´s exactly what I´m worried about._  
Helpless I looked to Connor, who tried to shake his head as discreet as possible. I could read in his eyes that he wasn´t pleased with this idea. It was the same with me but the choice was taken from me as Hannah grabbed my arm, linked her arm with mine and after short words of farewell she dragged me with her. The last thing I could see was Connor´s stunned face before it disappeared behind a wall of people.

Hannah crossed half of the ballroom with me, coiled her way through little groups and before I knew where I was, she had pushed me into an armchair, a glass of punch into my hand and I found myself in front of a group of five young women, who where all grinning widely while staring at me.  
Besides Hannah there were Lynette and Catherine. I couldn't remember the other names, not even with the best will in the world but it didn´t matter anyhow. I had the feeling that they were moving closer to me, when Hannah took a seat on the armrest of my chair, wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said in a lengthened voice: "Well, well. Lillian Jarvis, you old liar." I heard her clicking her tongue and she pointed vaguely into the direction we had come from.  
"A few days ago, you told Lynette, Catherine and me that you haven´t met anyone over there and tonight we hear that you´ve dragged a Spaniard here, with whom you´ve sailed home. What shall we think about that?"

The other ladies giggled and feeling uncomfortable I took a deep sip of punch. I really didn´t want to hold such a conversation. Especially when I thought about Connor sitting alone with the templars although I had promised to him that I wouldn´t leave him alone. I have to go back.  
"You don´t have to think anything about that. If you don´t mind, I would like to go back again." I didn´t even try to hide my annoyance about this situation and made a move to stand up but Hannah wasn´t slightly interested in that. She pushed me back into the armchair and clicked her tongue again. "Lillian, you can´t tell me that you spent several weeks on a ship with such a man and nothing had happened. At least you have brought him here tonight."  
"Because he wanted to establish contact."  
"And what happened on the ship?"

I snorted angrily and looked into each of the curious faces in front of me. I didn´t even need to guess what they were thinking. That I was evading just to keep details for myself. Because if Hannah Lokshire said, that something had had to happen between a man and a woman if they had spent much time together, it must be right.  
Had I hold such conversations in the past before? Had I sat in front of another woman like this and had questioned her? Was gossip the only thing these women were interested in?  
"Nothing happened", I growled between clenched teeth and felt almost like Connor by doing so. If I just had the same resoluteness in nonverbal communication like he did, I would cross my arms now and would stare them to pieces. But unfortunately I wasn´t as good as the assassin in this.

"But he´s single?" Hannah´s voice had this lurking under-tone which made me almost angrier.  
"Yes, he is", I hissed. "You can through yourself at him if you want to. Go ahead."  
I took a sip of the punch again while the other four ladies looked at me in surprise. They weren´t used to such a tone from me. But Hannah wasn´t slightly impressed. She had risen from the arm-rest, sat down in front of me with a bright smile and sipped at her drink, too.  
"If you really don´t mind. Why shouldn´t at least one of us enjoy some Spanish temperament?"  
Angrily I pinched my lips while the others giggled foolishly again. Normally I didn´t mind Hannah´s behaviour. It hadn´t bothered me that she kept up a liberal dealing with men. She was young and attractive, why shouldn´t she use it? But that she was now talking about Connor like about one of her lovers, annoyed me.  
 _But she can try it. Connor won´t let her get close to him._  
"Good luck." I knocked back the rest of the punch and stood up with a cool expression. "You excuse me?"

I turned away from the ladies and determined I walked back where I had left the assassin behind and prayed urgently that he hadn´t slipped away or worse: Hadn´t revealed himself. But to my relief, he was still sitting there and listened, with a tensed expression, to Pellmore who was talking while gesticulating wildly and smiling brightly. Since my departure three other men had joined the gentlemen, who I recognised all as templars. Connor must be wishing that he could kill them all, one after another. At least judging by his expression. When I approached the seating corner, Pellmore was the first one noticing me and he stood up, his arms spread.  
"Miss Lillian! You´ve come just at the right moment. I just gave the order to call to the minuet. We´ve detained the young Master Valdés long enough. He surely wants to have the chance to lead you to the dance floor, doesn´t he?  
I stayed indecisive and just wanted to say that I hadn´t wanted to interrupt the conversation, as Connor stood up, saying "With pleasure" and held his hand out to me. Disbelievingly I stared at it and Connor had to ask me until I took it and let him lead me away.

"Are you sure that you...?"  
"One more word from these men and there will be bloodshed."  
I swallowed, hearing the relentlessness in his voice and decided not to question his decision.  
 _Luckily you showed him how to dance the minuet_ , I thought as we already took position among the other couples and the first bars of the music started to play.  
We bowed to each other and like he had done the evening before, Connor started to dance with me without any problems. Only his grim look didn´t want to fit to the effortlessly of his steps but I hoped that the other dancers only had an eye for their partner and not for mine. During the whole dance we didn´t speak a word and not until the music had changed into a waltz, Connor seemed to have calmed himself down reasonably. But against my guess, he didn´t drag me from the dance floor immediately but wrapped – even though hesitantly – an arm around my waist and kept dancing.

"You know how to waltz?"  
He raised an eyebrow, hearing the surprise in my voice, and mumbled: "The women on the homestead thought that we men should learn it."  
I couldn´t hold back a grin with the imagination how Corrine, Ellen and the other women were driving the men of the homestead onto the dance floor. That Connor had gone along with it surprised me. "But you´re doing it well."  
He grumbled something while his look roamed over the other couples.  
"Have you found out something?"  
First there was no reaction to my question from my dancing partner, who was still busy with watching the people around him. Briefly I thought that he didn´t want to answer me but then he looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "I am not quite sure."  
My smile vanished finally and a bit embarrassed I looked over his shoulder to a vague spot on the shiny wooden floor.  
"I´m sorry that I´ve dragged you here. I shouldn´t have waste your time."  
His grip around my hand became a bit firmer and as I raised my head, I saw that he had frowned and looked at me seriously.  
"If you had wasted my time, I would have left already. I know now with whom I have to deal with and I..."  
"May I excuse?"

A greasy hand appeared on Connor´s shoulder, escorted from an unpleasant sounding voice. The assassin seemed to be surprised but before he could give an answer, my hand was snatched away from him and now it lay in the sweaty grip of Walter Tibbet, who had pushed himself past Connor and had wrapped his arm around my waist. I myself was too taken by surprise for reacting but right then, another lady had secured Connor as her new dancing partner and we had no other choice than coming to terms. But I made no effort to hide my disapproval from Tibbet, who noticed my grim expression with a dirty grin.  
"Lillian, you shouldn´t look like that. It disfigures your pretty face completely."  
"Spare yourself your slimy crawling, Master Tibbet", I replied disparagingly and would have loved to wipe this grin out of his greasy face. Lord, how sick this man was making me.  
"I´m sorry to have disturbed your dear togetherness with your...friend. But I wanted to take the chance to have a private conversation with you." Now his grin became almost diabolic and I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed.  
"I would like to go without this conversation."  
I tried to free my hand from his grip but he clenched it so painfully that I squinched my face up for a moment and fear flared up inside of me. I looked into the face with the now frozen smile and shivered as I saw the ice-cold expression in his eyes.  
"I don´t believe the histories the people are telling about your uncle´s death, Lillian. I don´t know how you´ve been able to come here on your own but let me tell you: I will keep an eye on you. On you and your Spanish friend."

Searching for help, my look slid over the dance floor and stopped at Connor´s back, who had changed his dance partner again. Now in his arms lay Hannah Lokshire, with the maybe brightest smile I had ever seen on her and that I wished to beat away from her face now. _She´s not hesitating for long_ , it flashed through my mind and for a moment I was even forgetting Tibbet, who had a look over his shoulder so that he could see Connor and Hannah, too. He chuckled.  
"You see? With your not existing charm you´re now here with me and have to watch how the lovely Mrs. Lokshire is wrapping your friend around her little finger. As they say: Even a blind hen sometimes finds a grain of corn, doesn´t it?"  
He let me go, bowed his head while making a pretence of courtesy and with a smirk, he left me behind on the dance floor. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and again and again I had to think about his threatening words.  
 _I will keep an eye on you._

Again I looked to Connor and Hannah, could hear her delicate laughter and my blood began to boil. While I had been threatened, the assassin was enjoying himself with the red-haired instead of staying concentrated on the reason which had brought him here.  
 _He isn´t even looking for Tibbet and me._ Angrily I pinched my lips, turned on my heel and marched to the buffet. I certainly wouldn´t watch Hannah´s flirtation any longer. I took a glass of punch, quaffed it off, took another one and sat down on an armchair nearby. With a grim expression I held it tight, stared into the red liquid and wished that I had never taken a step into this house. Suddenly after a while, Lynette appeared beside me and joined me with a surprised expression.

"Lillian? Are you alright?"  
I raised my eyes and shrugged my shoulders as casually as possible. "Why should something be not alright?"  
Lynette cocked her head and folded her hands in her lap. "Well, I thought because of Hannah and your friend..."  
"I don´t care about Hannah´s doings. Let her flutter her eyelashes and make eyes at him. I don´t care." I took a gulp of punch but unfortunately Lynette´s pitiful look didn´t escape me.  
"What´s the matter?", I asked her roughly and the blonde winced.  
"Well, you don´t seem to take it that easily that they disappeared."  
I blinked in confusion. Disappeared? "They are dancing."  
Lynette shook her head. "They just disappeared upstairs."  
"They did what?!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Diversionary tactic**

My hand kept the glass of punch firmly in its grip while I stared at Lynette wide-eyed, who looked remorseful herself. "I thought that you have been aware of that."  
No, I hadn´t. I certainly hadn´t been aware of how Hannah had pinched Connor and had gone upstairs with him. Maybe to some quiet place where they could be completely undisturbed. But I certainly wouldn´t stay here and twiddle my thumbs until the two of them condescend to come downstairs again. Not as long as I had still a spark of pride in me. First Connor complained about the whole plan, asked me not to leave him alone and as soon as I had let him out of my sight, there just had to appear a pretty décolleté in front of him and he forgot all this anger. As he forgot me.  
 _I won´t be a party to that, my friend._

Peppy I emptied the rest of the punch into my throat, put the glass almost too violently on a side table and stood up, just to start stumbling and holding my head. Where did all the stars come from?  
"Lillian, maybe you should…" I pushed Lynette aside and started moving, saying "I´ll be back in a second". With resolute steps I crossed the ball room, wormed my way through the crowd and at the same time I was annoyed about the omnipresent swinging. I felt like I was on the Aquila during the worst swell but unfortunately there was no saving rail I could hold on to.

Maybe the last glass of punch has been too much, I thought as I had entered the entrance hall and stumbled over the first steps of the staircase. I swore quietly, grabbed the banister and lifted my skirts with shaking hands, before I walked on.  
 _Concentrate. One foot after the other. It´s not that difficult._  
Slowly and carefully I climbed step by step, always looking down to my feet. So I didn´t see the person approaching me until narrow hands seized me by my shoulders and I looked up in confusion. In front of me stood Hannah and was giving me an amused grin.  
"Lillian, where are you going to? Are you sure that you should go up the stairs in your condition?"  
Condition? What was she thinking? Annoyed I frowned, hit her hands away, pushed my chin forward and tried to straighten up as good as possible.  
"I´m just looking for Co…Rafael. Where is he? He was with you, wasn´t he?"  
Hannah cocked her pretty head and pushed her lips forward in a pitying manner. "Yes, he was. But I hope that we haven´t annoyed you…"  
 _She´s even admitting it!_  
For a moment I wanted to cross my arms in front of my chest but I didn´t dare to let the securing banister go. So I put on a hopefully indifferent face and shook the head.

"Nevertheless I would be obliged if you could tell me where he is."  
"Somewhere there, down the hallway." Hannah pointed into the corresponded direction and gave me another amused expression before she passed me and went down the stairs elegantly.  
"Be careful not to break your neck", I heard her saying and suppressed a swearing. Apparently she took herself for very clever.  
 _Certainly she´s going to the others now and raves about the Spanish temperament she had enjoyed. I would like to tell her that Connor is no Spaniard. How would she look then?_  
A childish, nasty joy seized me and I giggled quietly while I was climbing the last steps. But it had hardly appeared before it left me again as I became aware of how stupid this thought was. Now I sighed deeply. _No more punch for you, Lillian._  
Slowly I let the banister go and made a move to cross the long hallway. Reportedly Connor had to be here somewhere but "somewhere" was quite an imprecise information with regard to the numerous doors here.

The only good thing was that no one else seemed to be here upstairs and I hadn´t to worry about some unpleasant meeting in the face of my wavering steps. Just why had I knocked back this damn punch like this? I had known about its strong effect. I may have never been drunk before but I had experienced several times before, how a number of guests had forgotten themselves thanks to the drink.  
 _Good enough that I´m still in my right mind…did Hannah point into this direction or…?_  
Confused I stopped, turned completely around once. Actually I was sure that she had meant this hallway. Should I call for Connor?  
Now that my steps, which had been unpleasantly loud on the smooth marble floor, had faded, I tried to hear any sound which could lead me to Connor´s whereabouts. But apart from the voices and music downstairs, I could hear nothing.  
 _He wouldn´t leave without me, wouldn´t he?_

A bit unsure I went on and hoped that I might bump into Connor. I certainly didn´t want to start to open every single door and sneak around. That wasn´t right a right behavior and besides…  
I had to suppress scream as somebody grabbed my wrist, a hand was put over my mouth and I got pulled through a half opened door into a room. As soon as the door was closed I found myself in front of a grimly looking assassin, who really let his hidden blade slide back into the bracer. Had he wanted to slash me up?  
"Damn, what are you doing here? I thought you were a guard", he hissed and my question was superfluous. Annoyed I pulled his hand away from my mouth and pushed him a step back.  
"And that´s why you wanted to kill me? I was just looking for you after you had sneaked away with Hannah."

Connor raised an eyebrow hearing my caustic tone and scrutinized me critically. "Are you all right?"  
"Of course. Actually I should I ask you the same. Still have all your strength? Or have you crawled here for recovering?"  
With a grim satisfaction I saw how the assassin was looking a bit overtaxed now. So I had caught him. But unfortunately there was no scrap of a guilty conscience. On the contrary. He frowned and asked: "What are you talking about?"  
I snorted scornfully and crossed my arms whereupon I started to stagger. This goddamn punch. Good that I wasn´t slurring.  
"I´m talking about that you have disappeared with Hannah. You know: This pretty redhead with the even prettier neckline."  
Connor´s eyebrows went towards the sky again and now he seemed to be annoyed.  
"She helped me. What did you think what we were doing here?"  
 _Helped him. Sure._ I just snorted scornfully and tried to reply his grim look likewise grimly. How silly that the punch was getting in touch again and many little stars started to dance around Connor´s head.

The assassin swore quietly and shook his head vigorously. "You have not really thought that we came here to…", he stopped and just kept looking at me while I shrugged my shoulders indecisively. By now I wasn´t sure anymore what I had thought. He didn´t look quite guilty…wait. Was he laughing about me?  
Connor´s corners of his mouth had risen and in his eyes lay an amused sparkle I had never seen there before. Totally surprised I stared at him while he ran his hand over his face and his shoulders were wincing slightly. As if he was laughing.  
 _Great. You´ve never seen him laughing before and the first time, you´re the one he´s laughing about._  
Angry I pushed my bottom lip forward while Connor raised his eyes with a shake of his head and looked at me, still amused. "So, that is what you are thinking about me?"

To my own annoyance I felt the blood rushing into my head and it didn´t get better as he approached me all of the sudden, stopped closely in front of me and his face came closer to mine. Taken by surprise I held my breath, stared at him and was unable to avoid that I noticed that he had amazingly beautiful lips, if he wasn´t looking grimly.  
 _Lillian! Pull yourself together!_  
I blinked several times, as these beautiful…these lips pursed to a grin and Connor asked in amusement: "Are you drunk?"  
Instantly my mind had returned to mother earth and with an angry snort, I exhaled the breath, I had kept in. "No, I´m not."  
"How much of this sweet, devilish stuff have you drunk? Your breath smells of it."  
Now I had bad breath on top of everything. It was getting even better.  
Annoyed I pushed against his chest and with a chuckle he took a step back. He was never laughing, but now…

Defiantly I pushed my bottom lip forward again and stared past him to the richly decorated wallpaper. "Two…or three…", I growled and protested as Connor grasped my shoulders and pushed me carefully to an armchair, which was standing in front of a large desk. Only now I noticed that we were in a study.  
"You sit down here and stay where you are."  
His tone annoyed me, as if he was talking to a child, but with a pout I kept my mouth shut and watched the assassin walking around the desk and starting to rummage through an already opened drawer. I raised an eyebrow. So that was what he had been doing all the time? And Hannah had helped him with it?  
"What is it you´re hoping to find in there?", I asked sceptically while Connor leafed through some papers and finally took a closer look at one of them.  
"Pellmore, Tibbet and the others talked about an address at the harbour where a ship from America had arrived recently. They didn´t mention my friends but they said something about an important delivery which needs to be removed soon and that the papers for this would be deposited by the address."  
I frowned. "And they talked about it in front of you?"  
"As the old lady said: They are feeling save and thought, I wouldn´t understand what they were talking about."  
With a grim look, Connor handed me the piece of paper. It took a while until I could see the written lines clearly enough to be able to read them. But they said exactly what Connor had told me before. A bit more detailed maybe, but actually with an address. Richard would have never left something like this lying around.

I returned the paper to Connor, which he put back to the stack and closed the drawer again.  
"What are you going to do now?"  
"To go to the harbor as soon as possible and have a look around at the address."  
He went around the desk and reached out his hand for mine to help me staying up. I had hardly straightened up before I got caught by dizziness again and my legs would have almost snapped away, if Connor hadn´t put an arm around me to steady me.  
"You should have left out the punch."  
"I know." I pushed him away from me a bit because I didn´t want to hang in his arms like a flour bag. I still had my pride. But I didn´t mind that he still had his arm around me and was backing me, while we stepped out on the hallway again.

Connor´s gaze slid watchfully down the hallway while we went along it slowly. "We should not get caught up here", he mumbled and I became aware that I hadn´t thought about that before.  
"Oh, if they do catch us, we could tell them that you have cajoled me, too." I giggled and got a skeptical look from the side for that. Well, maybe that wouldn't be quite tingling. If there´s a rumour that I let myself being seduced somewhere while being drunk, my reputation would be gone finally and Theresa could never marry me off. But I wouldn´t mind if Connor would be the one, who ruins my reputation…  
 _Lillian!_  
Mentally I shook my head and cursed the punch again. I would never touch such devilish stuff again. I was totally making a fool of myself.

When Connor stopped suddenly and without warning, I stumbled almost forwards but his arm grabbed me on time and I heard a quiet swearing from him. Yes, that had almost gone wrong. I just would have met the marble floor reluctantly…but the swearing hadn´t been directed at my nearly-fall. Connor grasped my wrist and pulled me towards a door, which was locked to his annoyance.  
"What´s…?"  
He hissed quietly and put a hand in front of my mouth and now I heard, too what had alarmed him.  
The hallway towards the stairs was bending in front of us and behind the corner came the voices of men into our direction. I heard the steps of heavy boots and the jangle of metal, as if the handle of a rapier would hit against a belt. _They must be Pellmore´s guards._  
My eyes widened in horror and my look slid through the hallway. Unfortunately there weren´t many possibilities for hiding and probably the gentleman wouldn´t be pleased to find us walking around here.

In the meantime, Connor had pulled me to another door, but it was locked, too and the guards were close. The assassin swore again and pulled me to a cupboard, which was standing right in front of the corner. He pushed me close to the wooden side panel of the piece of furniture and put a finger to his lips. I frowned. _When they are coming around the corner, the will see us immediately…oh!_  
Connor had pressed himself close to the wall beside me, his look tensely directed forwards, the left arm raised and the hidden blade ready for use.  
He wanted to kill them! Of course, what else but…not here. Downstairs in the ball room were hundreds of people. If just one of them noticed what had happened here, they would think of us immediately. At least someone must have seen how I had gone upstairs and certainly someone would notice that I hadn´t come back since then. Besides Connor who should actually behave untypically of an assassin.  
The steps of the guards were getting closer, my pulse was rushing and I kept staring to the assassin´s hidden blade, which seemed to be flashing with bloodlust.  
 _I can´t allow this to happen_ , it flashed through my mind and looking back, I blamed my slightly drunk condition for what I was doing next. I wasn´t thinking about it.

I one single movement I reached with my right arm past Connor, grabbed his left one, pulled it towards me and made him turning his back to the hallway. Before he could even realize, what I was doing, I had put my left hand in his nape, had pulled him down to me and had pressed my lips on his, while my right hand was clinging to his arm with the blade, hoping that he wouldn´t stab me. I felt how Connor´s whole body tensed and was convinced that he would push me away and kill the guards anyway, who were close to the corner now. But I heard the scraping noise, the blade was making if it slides back into its mount and Connor relaxed a bit, laid almost hesitantly his arm around my waist and returned the kiss.  
My heart stopped for a second, before it started to beat wildly again. Here I stood in a completely strange house, was slightly drunk and kissed a man who was normally for God´s sake not the person for this or any other kind of closeness. A man I had been angry about several times and about whom I had recently thought that he had disappeared with another woman. The punch had gotten to my head, but it didn´t feel bad. In the contrary.  
Connor´s lips were amazingly soft and he definitely kissed better than a few lads I had exchanged kisses with in my youth. Those had been quite awkward and…damp and certainly not worthy a good memory. This kiss was completely different but I couldn´t enjoy it as long as I had hoped to.

As soon as I had loosened my grip around Connor´s nape and he had pulled me closer to him, a heavy hand tapped him on the shoulder and someone cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Sir. Miss."  
We detached ourselves from one another and with a bright red head I glanced to the two guards, who were standing behind Connor and were looking at us in obvious amusement. "I´m sorry, but no one is allowed to stay here. So I have to ask the lady and the gentleman to go downstairs again."  
In my head, everything was spinning around, whether because of the punch or because of the kiss, but I managed it to put on an apologetic and caught smile, before I pushed myself past Connor.  
"We´re extremely sorry. We thought that no one would be here…" I fluttered my eyelashes, what the men commented with a wide grin. "Never mind, Milady." One of them winked at me and I gave them the brightest smile I was able to put on, before I grasped Connor´s wrist and pulled him with me to the stairs. If they knew that I had just saved them from becoming victims of an assassin.

This assassin didn´t speak a single word. Not even when we went downstairs and I asked a servant to bring us our coats. Suddenly I was completely sober again and felt the need to go home. It had been too much of excitement for one evening. My cheeks were burning when I gave Connor a short look from the side, who was staring to himself with a rigid expression and was still saying nothing as the servant brought our coats and we went outside to our carriage. Connor helped me to get in and as he finally sat in front of me in the carriage and this started to move, I tried to read his thoughts out of his expression. I felt bad about his silence and I was quite sure that it was about the kiss. But his face was still completely expressionless, except of the lips which were tensely pinched.  
 _Great. You kiss him and then this face…_  
The blush rose into my cheeks again and repeatedly I cursed my punch consumption. If I had pulled myself together, two guards would be dead now but Connor wouldn´t look like this.

"Connor, I´m sorry that I…", I faltered and searched for the right words.  
That I kissed you? That I kissed you while being slightly drunk? Even though I knew that you are reluctant to let others even touch you?  
Connor looked at me and as his eyes met mine, my cheeks started to glow even more than they already did. I couldn't guess what he was thinking but his voice was objective and cool when he said: "You do not have to apologize. You have drunk too much and furthermore it was a good distraction. It wouldn´t have been an advantage if I had killed the guards and someone had noticed it."  
 _A good distraction._  
That pained. His words were a real stab into my heart and ashamed I looked away. What had I thought, why he would return the kiss? Had he another choice if a drunken woman throws herself at him? Surely not.  
"Well then", I mumbled and stared out to the nightly streets while I tried to hold back the unpleasant burning in my eyes.

I goddam had to pull myself together. I really couldn´t be so childish. I had behaved ridiculous and now I was sitting here like a picture of misery and was close to start crying. So much about pride. Theresa would laugh about me if I would tell her.  
"I am sorry, too."  
Surprised I raised my eyes and my heart was making a leap as I looked to Connor, who was actually looking remorseful. Had he been not serious about the distraction?  
A naïve hope was spreading inside of me but got destroyed when Connor kept talking.  
"I am sorry that I went upstairs with Hannah and left you behind. I should have told you."  
My heart sank as it did the corners of my mouth. Was he serious about that? Well, I had actually been angry with him but at the moment, this was my minor concern.  
"What did you mean as you said that she had helped you?" I tried to hide my disappointment.  
"She told me where I could find the study."  
I raised an eyebrow. "Why should she do that?"  
Connor looked at me seriously and it seemed that he didn´t want to come out with it. But finally he sighed deeply. "Because she belongs to the assassins. She procures information for them and she heard that I needed help."  
Hannah belonged to the brotherhood? I felt how I lost the control about my facial features. I really hadn´t expected that. But… "So she has known who you are during the whole time!"  
Connor nodded and anger boiled up inside of me. This damn woman actually had made me believe that she hadn´t known who Connor was and even worse: That she had seduced him.  
She could have told me who she was. I wouldn´t have made a fool of me then and everything would have been different…

Connor interpreted my expression basically right and let a snort sound. "You are not really angry, are you not? Nothing happened after all."  
"Nothing happened?"  
My gaze almost daggered him and he actually seemed to be surprised by my reaction.  
"While the two of you were exchanging your little secrets, Tibbet had threatened me and when you left…"  
Connor leaned forward and grabbed my wrist. His look was alarmed. "Tibbet did what?"  
I stared at his hand, which he took back when he noticed it and looked at him then. He was really worried.  
"Well, he…said that he don´t believe the telling about Richard´s death and that he…wants to keep an eye on me. And you…"  
Connor stared at me and leaned back into his seat with a swearing. "That is not good", he growled and stared out into the night while I was a bit indecisive about his reaction. Was he more worried about me or about himself?  
I leaned back, too and kept an eye on the assassin, who wasn´t uttering a sound during the rest of the journey. "Good night" were the only words I got to hear before I went into my room, after we had arrived at Theresa´s and shortly afterwards I heard how the door of Connor´s room snapped shut several times before the entrance door was closed at last.  
Then it was completely silent inside of the house.


	22. Chapter 22

**The early bird doesn´t always catch the worm**

As soon as I had struggled myself out of my clothes and had freed my hair from every decoration, I had fallen into my bed immediately, had pulled the blanket over my head and had fallen asleep amazingly quickly. With this in mind, the punch had caused something good but it was just hardly something left from that, when I woke up just a few hours later. My head was ringing and I had a disgusting, bland taste in my mouth which I hoped to choke down with several swallows. In vain. With a groan I turned to the side and pressed my head into the pillow to cushion my headache a bit. It helped to some extent but I still wasn´t rid off this taste in my mouth and so I sat up, groaning like an old woman and needed a moment until the feeling of dizziness had disappeared, which had instantly overcome me.  
"No. Punch. Ever. Again", I growled and pressed my palms against my temples. What had I thought with it? Had I thought anyway? Certainly not.

Slowly and carefully, I slipped off my blanket, swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stumbled to my washstand. How long the hell did it take until the alcohol stopped curbing someone? All in all I felt almost worse than I did the evening before, when the punch still had its whole effect. At that point in time I had staggered like a ship on the rough sea and had seen stars without end but at least I hadn´t suffered under terrible headache and I also hadn´t had to blink every half a second to clear my vision. I flopped onto a chair in front of the washstand and groaned at the sight of my reflection. I looked like a corpse. Pale, with dark shadows under the reddened eyes and my hair stuck up to almost every direction. I uttered a whimper and with a muffled noise my forehead made an acquaintance with the table top. "You will never ever drink punch again. Never ever."  
Slowly I raised my head and looked back into the mirror, on the desperate search for the hope that it wouldn´t need much to make me look fresh again. Cold water into the face. A lot of powder, a bit of red on my cheeks and lips. Brushing my hair. Somehow I would protect my fellow men from seeing me like that.  
 _In case of need, I can borrow his hood from Connor._

At the thought of the assassin I squinched up my face again, put my elbows on the wash stand and hid my face inside my hands. Suddenly I remembered what I had done yesterday and how he had reacted to that. I had completely made a fool of me. Not only in front of him but in front of everyone else on the soiree, too. Especially in front of Hannah. I had walked around like a drunken sailor even though I hadn´t been drunk. But you had been able to call me sober neither. Certainly Hannah had laughed magnificently about me and Connor...I groaned quietly. I didn´t even want to think about that. _I can never get into his sight again._  
Through my fingers I risked another look into the mirror. _Especially not like that. Otherwise his heart is going to break because of his sympathy._  
Great. Now I was even getting self-deprecating.  
With a frustrated sound, I took my hands from my face and stared into my own, stormy-grey eyes. "Put yourself together. Stop racking your brain, dress yourself up and then you´re going to go to him and take him to task. You can apologize to him if you want to but it´ll be enough of moaning then."  
I was amazed myself by the determination in my voice and a proud grin sneaked onto my face. In this moment I believed firmly in my own words.

* * *

 _And what are you going to say if he´s in there?_  
Indecisive I stood in front of the guestroom´s door and stared at the handle in my hand. Nearly an hour ago I had been in high spirits when I had begun to bring back life to my face and to free my hair from knots. Dressed and groomed I had almost forgotten my headache and determined I had gone to the door, just to stand there now and to feel, how my determination was vanishing. I didn´t even know if Connor was here. At least he had left last night after we had arrived and I doubted that he had come back. Why should he anyway? Nevertheless I knocked tentatively at the door and opened it a bit. Unsurprisingly the bed was unused. Only the tidily folded up clothes, which Connor had worn on the soiree, were laying there. I uttered a sigh and I closed the door again. What had I expected? That he had gone for a short, nightly walk and that he was sleeping like a baby now? I was so naïve.

My gaze slid to the little window on the other end of the hallway and only now I noticed that it was still so early in the morning that the sun hadn´t rose yet. A faint twilight hovered over the city, which was coloured grey by a thin fog. I snorted in annoyance. It was Sunday. I could have slept like every other Londoner would do. The whole city was going to wake up only in a few hours and I was already staying here, completely dressed up and going back to bed was beyond question. I went back to my room, took my coat and grabbed my hat, just to throw it back to bed again. I could wear it when I was going to go to the church later. Nobody would be on the streets now and would pay attention to my clothing. I even hadn´t made my hair.  
Open it laid over my back and shoulders and I didn´t feel like taking a seat in front of the mirror again and draping it somehow anyway. My scalp would surely appreciate it.  
So I threw on my coat, left my room and went through the hallway to the entrance door. As I reached for the handle, the voice of the maidservant, who had helped me into my corset and my dress before with a wondering look, sounded behind me.  
"You want to go out, Miss? It´s early days yet."  
"I need some fresh air and go for a walk. I´ll be back for breakfast."  
I gave her a short look over my shoulder and a smile before I left the house. The poor girl must think that I was sick. But I really needed fresh air.

As soon as I had left the house, I breathed deeply and noticed with satisfaction that the headache had moved to the deepest corners of my consciousness. It was only a muffled but bearable throb in my temples and so I left the front yard with a smile on my lips and started my walk. I crossed the street, walked through the deserted alleys and enjoyed the silence around me. Only here and there I met a few people who seemed to be surprised to see a young lady walking around at this time of day but I always smiled at them and continued my walking. I wasn´t even thinking about robbers who theoretically could be waiting for me behind every street corner, what was quite careless of me. Especially when I noticed that my feet had brought me automatically to the harbour.

The fog here was, thanks to its proximity to the water, denser than it was in the streets and a bit undetermined I slowed my steps. No a soul enlivened the pier or the market stands. Here it seemed like the whole city of London was still sleeping, waiting for the bells of the church to wake it up for the service. I bit my lower lip and my thoughts flitted back to the piece of paper Connor had shown me last night. The address at the harbour about which I didn´t know if the assassin would find there what he was looking for or what it was about.  
Although my sanity was telling me that I should turn back and go home, my feet carried me further and soon I was standing in front of the address. It was a big old house without any labelling. Only the templar-cross at the doorknob told me, that I was at the right place. But it told me particularly that I shouldn´t be here. Light was flickering in the windows and even here outside I could hear the voices of several men. _That´s the time to turn back and leave._  
For once my feet responded to me and I left the house behind. But instead of going home, I kept walking along the harbour, let my gaze roam over the empty landing stages and finally stepped onto a pier, which was laying beside a warehouse and was leading directly to an unused landing stage in the Thames.

I stepped to its edge and looked over the calm water. As during my arrival two weeks ago, I noticed the unpleasant stench of the harbour and I remembered the fresh smell of the sea, which had been always floating through the Davenport Homestead. I remembered the roaring of the waves, hitting the cliffs. This natural beauty the river of London had lost long ago. The Thames was a disgusting piece of brackish water. Muddy, stinking and strictly speaking a blot on the landscape.  
 _As a child I skated here in winter. But now I wouldn´t like to get close to it even if it is frozen again._  
My gaze still slid over the water and when I finally wanted to turn back, I noticed something red in the water, which was swimming right underneath my feet beneath the landing stage. I frowned and in a wave of curiosity I sank to my knees and peeked over the edge of the wooden stage. But what I was seeing made me almost fell over with fright. I was standing right above the bodies of two guards in red uniform who drifted in the water and seemed to stare at me with their glassy eyes. The water had turned scarlet red at the small stab wounds over their hearts and I struggled to hold back a shocked scream. I leaped up to my feet and wanted only one thing: To get away.

But I hesitated as I heard someone calling my name and I looked over the landing stage, past the warehouse and stopped at a white spot, which was still several metres away but was coming nearer. I squinted my eyes and recognized Connor, who was running towards me, wildly flailing his arms. I kept staying like I was frozen and maybe that was lucky for me. Because when I thought about making a step towards Connor and with it towards the warehouse, this one exploded with an ear-splitting bang and I got swept off my feet and catapulted over the landing stage into the water by the shock wave.

I barely noticed how I hit the surface and got quickly pulled down by the weight of my dress. I was totally dazed, watched, with my eyes halfway opened, how the surface departed from me and was only recognisable by the red and orange flickering behind it. An unpleasant pressure spread inside of my chest and as I wanted to take a breath, water flowed into my lungs and only now I realized that I was well on the way to drown in the sewer called Thames. I began to wriggle in panic, tried to swim up but this damn dress pulled me mercilessly further into the depth and it didn´t took long until the absent breathing air and the iciness of the water deprived me of my last strength and completely exhausted I gave up the fight. I blinked for a last time and asked myself what this strange, dark point was, which fell in front of the orange flickering towards the water. Then everything became dark around me.

* * *

A shrill whistle roared through my ears and in my head, the headache had begun to pound again. I might had given a loud groan if I wasn´t lacking of air. My chest was filled with a burning and again and again there was a painful pressure exerted on it, which didn´t help me to breathe in. What was that about anyway?  
The whistle in my ears just vanished slowly and through this muffled background noises I thought to hear something like a voice. Far away but still there. "Lillian! Please breathe. Damn it."  
 _Breath? I am breathing._  
I tried to breathe in but it didn´t work somehow. I tried again and as I got a strong hit against my chest, I really became hurled back into consciousness.

My torso arched and with coughing I threw water out of my lungs which contracted painfully. I tried to replace the water with air but it didn´t work like I wanted it. Like a fish on dry land I began to gasp for air frantically and as I opened my eyes I saw Connor´s face right above me. His wet hair stuck to his forehead and suddenly there was something like panic in his gaze, when he saw how I was writhing on the ground, conscious but fighting for breath desperately.  
"Lillian...what? What is the matter?"  
I would have liked to answer him but I was just able to utter a rasping breath and began to pound on my chest and my waist instead. Totally overtaxed Connor watched what I was doing and he didn´t seem to understand what I wanted to tell him with my contortions. I coughed and then something left my mouth which was definitely recognisable as word: "Corset!"

Connor´s eyes widened and he stared at my narrowed waist. The corset was preventing as reliable as usual that I could breathe and cough up the remaining water. It really locked up my chest and I started to see stars because of the shallow breathing. "Un...do...it."  
Still Connor was staring at my waist as if he had to think about complying with my request. If I had the strength, I would give him a slap round the face to free him from his numbness. I was suffocating and he admired my slim-cheated shape?  
I wanted to say something again but I could only utter a forced rasping breath which was at least bringing Connor on the scene. With amazingly quick fingers, he had opened the buttons of my bodice and by a courageous cut with his hidden blade he had undone the underneath laying devilish thing made of stiff linen and whalebone.

Almost instantly the air flowed back into my abused lungs and with another cough I managed it to get rid of the remaining water inside of them. Gasping I laid on the ground while Connor was sitting beside me motionless and stared down at me. "Are you alright?"  
I raised my head and would like to slap him again. What was he thinking? I almost had drown, suffocated after my rescue and now I was laying her gasping and nearly undressed in the mud, because the ground the assassin had put me down on was nothing else than that. I was soaking, the cold bit through my whole body and I was trembling like a leaf. But apart from that...  
"I´m feeling great", I uttered between several coughs and clattering teeth. My voice sounded like a grater and I was absolutely sure that I was going to catch my death if I kept laying here. So I wrapped my top, which Connor kindly enough had left intact, around my body and left the damaged corset being a damaged corset as I straightened up slowly. A big mistake because immediately dark spots began to dance in front of my eyes and Connor could barely prevent me from falling backwards to the ground again.  
"You are not feeling great", he growled.  
Oh really? Never noticed that.

I would have loved to comment his very clever sentence but my head was entirely busy with leading me to believe that I was on a very quickly spinning disc. I felt so dizzy that I could barely discern Connor, who was standing right in front of me.  
"What happened anyway?"  
Great. Now I was mumbling, on top of everything.  
I blinked several times and could basically recognize a huge fire, not far from us. Several people had gathered around it and were shouting in shambles while they tried to extinguish the fire. Connor must have brought me aside the scene where no one noticed us. "You have destroyed my distraction. That happened", Connor growled and followed my gaze. Again I blinked. This time in confusion.  
"Me? I did what?"  
"I have set the powder barrels on fire so that they all come out of the house to extinguish the flames. I could have gone in without being discovered. I could have got my information and could have left again. But instead I had to rescue you because you suddenly appeared in front of the warehouse."  
How he said it, it sounded like it had been the biggest catastrophe that he had had to rescue me. If I wouldn´t be so weakened...yes I would have slapped him. Again. But what was annoying me the most was the fact that he had played with the safety of others so thoughtlessly. Although nothing had been going on here just a moment ago: How should an innocent passerby like me know that a warehouse full of powder barrels was going to blow up? Besides, the houses in the surrounding area could go up in flames, too.

"Are you completely insane?", was the only thing I could utter and I gained an ice-cold look from the assassin.  
"You are welcome", he growled and grabbed my arm. "We have to get away from here."  
He wanted to drag me with him, but didn´t pay attention to my bad condition and I almost fell as I was forced to move. Still everything was turning around me and my head was feeling like it was filled with straw. Dull but somehow painful. Besides the throbbing in my ears. "I can´t", I gasped but he had noticed it already. Without further ado, he lifted me on his arms and carried me away from the scene. He went around a corner, put me down on the muddy ground shortly and began to untie a horse, which was standing in front of a tavern.  
"But that´s not your...", I murmured .  
"That is my minor concern at the moment."

Connor lifted me up again and put me on the horse. With a quiet swear on his lips, he prevented at the last moment that I fell sideways down again before he got on the horse behind me. He took the reins in one hand and laid his strong, free arm around my waist and seized me like this. I was only cold and felt dizzy and sighing I sank against his chest, while he drove the horse on and steered it through the narrow alleys towards Theresa´s house. I wasn´t aware of anything. Neither how he lifted me from the horse and carried me to my room, past the shocked maidservant, who had talked to me in the morning. The poor girl got the task to free me from my wet clothes and to put me to bed. My fair saviour disappeared as soon as the door of my room had been closed in front of his nose. I almost slept the whole day just to wake up with a worse headache than I had in the morning, plus an unpleasant ache in my chest. So my unintentional bath in the ice-cold Thames wasn´t without consequences and I knew exactly who was responsible for that.

* * *

I spent almost a full week with a heavy cold in my bed. Constantly I was shaken from coughing and my lungs felt like they were in flames. As Theresa´s doctor asked me, how I had gotten this hypothermia, I had told him that I had slipped on the Thames´ bank, far away from the much discussed warehouse-fire and had fallen into the shallow water. At least that would have been enough to soak me through and so he didn´t ask further questions. Only Theresa knew the truth and for the first time, since I knew her, I had heard her swearing. Mainly her swear words were aimed at Connor. He was a goddamn savage who had brought so many lives in danger with his arrogance and his incredible foolishness and so on. That he had rescued me would have been the least thing he could have done but wouldn´t hide the fact that he was an awful bastard who she would love to...I shouldn´t repeat her words at this point.

During her tirade I only had lain in my bed, silent and feverish and had wished that she would be silent at last, not to promote my headache. I felt miserable and I was also angry with the assassin, who had actually tried to blame me for everything. Although I was sorry that his plan had failed, I was relieved that nothing had happened to anybody. I still couldn´t understand why Connor had behaved so careless. Was he so desperate now, that he resorted to such drastic means? Didn´t the assassin´s credo say that the lives of the innocent needed to be protected?  
I racked my brain about this even though I had planned not to think about Connor anymore. He had brought nothing else than chaos to me. Physically and psychologically and in view of his rude reaction at the harbour I didn´t want to see him anymore. I didn´t want to be treated like this.

At least I was convinced of that until one evening, there was suddenly a knock on my room´s window. It was already dark outside and just a moment ago, I had been having a hot bath with herbs and now I was laying in my bed, snuggled up in my blanket and with a book on my lap. As I heard the knocking, I instantly thought that I had misheard but suddenly the window got opened and a man in a white coat climbed easily through it. I gasped in surprise and stared at Connor, who stood beside my bed now and scrutinized me. I definitely had to lock up my window in the future.  
"What do you want here?" My voice still sounded quite damaged but my anger at the assassin was clearly hearable. Connor stepped from one foot to another, kneaded his hands and for a moment, I had actually the feeling that he had a guilty conscience.  
"I…wanted to know how you are. I would have come through the door but…the old lady threw me out."  
"You deserved that."  
His eyebrows rose in face of my caustic tone and…was he sulking? Was he a child that was begging for candy?  
"Are you angry with me?"  
Oh, what a miracle. For once someone was of the mentally quick kind.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and let my gaze answer whereupon Connor gave a deep sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "I am sorry, that I have endangered you. That was stupid but I hadn´t seen another opportunity to come into the house. There were too many guards and…"  
"You didn´t want to play the butcher for once?"  
I was almost surprised myself about the bitterness in my voice but I didn´t show it but stared Connor to the ground instead. God, I was so proud of myself.  
The assassin gasped for breath, bit into his lower lip and cocked his head.  
"I am sorry, alright? I really thought that…I had killed you."  
He actually seemed to be remorseful. Damn it, my anger started to fade even though I had planned to….  
"Alright", I said quietly and asked myself at the same time, if these words had actually come over my lips. Nothing was alright. God damn it, he had treated me like dirt. I had racked my brain about him and he was acting like I was the biggest evil on this planet. But unfortunately I couldn´t bring this thought outside.

Connor looked at me nodding, while giving a sigh of relief. I had already reassured him and hadn´t the heart to be still angry with him and somehow…I was glad about it. The assassin pulled the chair of my washstand closer to my bed, sat down and looked at me with completely serious eyes. I could see that he was still having something on his mind.  
"Lillian?"  
I cocked my head and smiled.  
"I want to ask you for something."  
Had I mentioned once that this man wasn´t good in speaking his mind out? This hum and haw was terrible. Why couldn´t he just…?  
"I do not want to see you again, Lillian."


	23. Chapter 23

_**Thanks everyone for the favs, follows and reviews. ;) As you maybe noticed it, the chapters are becoming a bit longer now (except of this one) so it takes its time to translate them. But I will do my best not to make you wait too long.**_

* * *

 **The worst disease**

First I was sure that I had misheard and stared silently at Connor, who sat silent on his chair himself and looked at me seriously. There was nothing else in his eyes. No sympathy. No regret. No sparkle that could have told me that he was making fun of me. He was just looking at me with these serious eyes and was waiting for me to say something. But what should I say? He just had come to me, had apologized and had made me forgive him his more than curt behavior. For the split of a second I had firmly believed that everything was alright between us now. But had anything been alright ever? Obviously not if he was sitting here now and was making clear to me that he didn´t want to deal with me anymore. That he didn´t want to see me anymore, as he had said it.

"How do you mean that?" I didn´t know it exactly myself why I was asking this question. Maybe because I just wanted to understand what had made him have this wish. He looked firmly into my eyes and his face didn´t show any emotion as he said calmly and objectively: "It is better if we are going to go separate paths from now on, as it should have been since our arrival. It is better for us both. The events at the warehouse should not have happened. You should not have been in such danger because you have been there only because of me."  
Well, I had been there accidentally. I hadn´t looked for him on purpose even though my subconsciousness had played a joke on me. But should I try to make this clear to him? I didn´t believe that he would be interested in it. He wasn´t.  
"I have a trail now and know what I have to do. I do not need your help anymore."  
I swallowed heavily and in my ears this sentence sounded like a "I do not need you anymore."  
Why the hell did I feel a stab in my heart? Like he didn´t have talked to me but had rammed his hidden blade directly into my heart. Like he had done with the guards at the harbour.

My hands dug into my blanket and blinking I stared down at them. My jaws´ muscles were working and I felt anger boiling inside of me. I was offended. Very and I would certainly not sit here and accept his words just like that.  
"After you had said Farewell to me the last time, you climbed through my window a few days later and asked for my help almost desperately. You said I would be the only person you´re trusting." I raised my head and looked into his still emotionless face.  
"I did help you. I invited you into this house, brought you to the templars, like you wanted it. You found what you were looking for, just because I haven´t left you behind when you were in need of my help. Maybe you wouldn´t have gotten to this point if I hadn´t been here. I was threatened by Tibbet because I had helped you. And now you´re sitting here, back in my room and are impertinent enough to tell me, that you´re not needing my help anymore?"  
My voice was trembling with anger but it almost made me mad as hell that he still was straight-faced. Why wasn´t he defending himself?  
"What will happen in a few days? When you´re not knowing what to do? Do I have to keep my window open for you?"

He still looked me over with this emotionless face which was telling nothing about his mood. Or it did and he just wasn´t caring about what I had to say. It had to be like that because I couldn´t explain his next words otherwise.  
"I think you interpreted too much in everything."  
My jaw almost dropped down. I did what? Was I mistaken or had this guy been sitting right here with me, bleeding and asking for my help? What could I misinterpret in it?  
"I should have notice it already during the soiree as you had been so angry about Hannah. I had disappeared with her and you felt attacked instantly." His voice was totally objective as he would explain me why there was snow in winter. I just stared at him in astonishment and slowly I understood what his talk was about.

"When the guards came I thought that you had kissed me to distract them. But as you followed me to the harbour, I finally realized that you must have misunderstood something. I only needed your help because I wanted to get closer to the templars, Lillian. Nothing more."  
I could absolutely say nothing about that. Stunned I stared at this face, on which a compassionate expression had appeared. He felt compassion? For me? For this rich, stupid brat who had followed him, the oh so amazing assassin? He was talking to me like I was a little child he had to explain to, that it couldn´t come into mummy´s and daddy´s bed anymore and this was making me absolutely mad because it was offending me equally. How could he speak to me like that? I surely hadn´t misunderstood anything and I hadn´t interpreted anything.  
Well, maybe I had felt more after the kiss than it did me good and yes: I liked him. But I had never followed him. I had always been worried about him. About him and his friends. I had wanted to help him, for gratitude because he had helped me. Did I have to let him treat me like this? Like a used tissue that had done a good turn but that you´re not needing anymore sometime? No.

"I´m actually thinking that I´ve understood everything", I began slowly and cursed my hands because of their trembling. "You are an ignorant bastard who basically wants to see what´s useful to him. You´re always babbling about friendship and trust but as soon as you get the feeling that you´re losing control about something, you´re putting the tail in like a cowardly dog and hide where you´ve come from. I helped you because you´re a friend to me. Because I´ve taken you to my heart and I haven´t misinterpreted anything after you had told me yourself that you trust me. Everything what I´ve done was because I wanted to help you and your friends. For gratitude. But obviously I could have spared me that because it seems like you haven´t been worth the thoughts I had wasted on you."  
Connors forehead was marked by deep furrows and with satisfaction I saw that he was grinding with his jaw, like I had done before. Obviously I had hit a nerve with my, admittedly hard, words.

"Is that so..." His voice was nothing more than a growl. "I guess we have understood each other."  
He leaned a bit forward, looked at me with a piercing gaze and I returned it without blinking.  
"Someone who surrounds himself only with the pretty appearance, the wealth and the shine of the upper class, should be careful if he reproaches me for not respecting friendship and trust enough. Obviously you do not know anything about it. Or was there anyone on the soiree you had given an honest smile to? You are a lonely person in your pretty world, Lillian. I pity you."  
I didn´t answer but gave him a banging slap in the face with my flat palm.  
With his head leaned sideward, he sat there and stared at the wall in front of him while I slowly let my shaking hand sink back down to the blanket.  
"Get out", I said quietly and with a husky voice and as he didn´t react instantly, I almost shouted at him. "Clear off!"  
Without looking at me Connor rose from the chair, pushed it back to its place and had already left through the window, as one of the girls came into the room and looked at me alarmed. "Did anything happen, Miss?"  
The answer was a sob and the bang of a book, which was thrown against the wall.

* * *

The next days I mostly spent with hating myself. As much as I wanted to, I couldn´t forget Connor´s last words to me and a little, mean voice in my head was whispering again and again: "He was right."  
And I knew that it was right in turn.  
I had always enjoyed it to surround me with anything pleasant. I had walked around with my head held high and had enjoyed to belong to a family with a name. To surround me with people who had the same privileges. I had everything, I got everything. Even when I had lived with Richard I had wanted for nothing. Only friendship had never existed in my life.  
I knew many people in London I associated with memories. With whom I was talking often and with whom I was laughing. But I wasn´t friends with anyone of them. Not even with Lynette, Catherine and Hannah. I was lonely in my pretty world but until now I had never realized it, or never wanted to. It had only needed a boorish chump like Connor, to burst into my life and to show me that and this was what was irritating me the most. I had trusted him. I had thought that we were connected in some sort of friendship. But he had destroyed everything with a few sentences. For him, there had never been a friendship, just a deal. A barter. His help for mine and I had engaged with it. Now I was paying for it.

Now I was laying in my bed and cried out all the anger and disappointment. The head buried into the pillow, the hands dug into the soft covering. Four days had passed since Connor´s visit and I had only left my room for eating and short walks. I never lost a word about the assassin and even though I felt that Theresa knew exactly what was going on, she always pretended to think that I was still sick and I appreciated that. At least until the day when she came into my room in the late forenoon, sat down beside my bed and began to knit, without saying a word.  
I had pulled the blanket up to my nose, laid with the back towards her and pretended to be sleeping. I heard nothing else than the steady rattle of her knitting needles and I couldn´t prevent me from admiring her for how precisely she was doing this work even though she was blind. But after a couple of minutes I uttered an irritated sigh and turned to Theresa who was sitting there with a smirk, as she heard the rustling of my blanket.  
"When am I able to expect that our little angel stays with the living again?", she asked and irritated I wrinkled my nose.  
"When I´m feeling better."  
Theresa gave a stagy sigh and put her knitting aside to lean down and reach out one of her hands to me. Unwillingly I took it and the old lady began to pat mine.  
"Child, believe me. Although you´ve become the victim of the worst disease a woman can be haunted by, you won´t get better if you keep sinking into self-pity the whole day."  
 _Sinking into self-pity? Me?_

I snorted and asked deridingly: "Worst disease? Isn´t that a quite exaggerated name for a cold?"  
Theresa smirked. "Oh, child. Both of us know that you´re not having a cold. This disease, you´re having is much more malicious. It begins quite harmless, almost unnoticed. You are feeling good, even very good. Until it reaches the heart. It starts insidiously but before you know it, you haven´t noticed it on time and it has caused its damage. Then you´re lying in bed, like you now and you´re feeling miserable."  
"And what kind of disease is it?"  
Now Theresa was patting my cheek. "You are in love, my dear."  
I gasped for breath and stared at my teacher who had a bright smile on her face.  
"I am not!"  
Theresa laughed and cocked her head. "Well child, I may be blind but I am still aware of a few things and I know you for a long time now. You are rarely rebellious but how you´re always defending this savage..."  
"He´s no savage!"  
"You see...?"

Theresa laughed again and in the meantime I had sat up with a bright red head and bit my lower lip in irritation. Did everyone believe that I was living with my head in the clouds? Connor himself had claimed that I had interpreted too much into our shared time and this creep was the last person who was right. He didn´t even know what feelings were. He was just trampling on them with his humming and snorting. I had better things to do than dealing with such an ox.  
Theresa seemed to interpret my silence different because she stopped laughing and squeezed my hand. "Don´t worry about it. I was young once, too. I know how quickly you allow a handsome young man to turn your head. Even though I have to admit that I had wished you to make a better choice. But you are young and what else should I expect after your uncle had dragged you into the wilderness? Now it´s important that you see sense again and for this it is good that this...assassin doesn´t show up here again."  
She took her knitting and rose from her seat.

"Take the time you need to collect yourself and then I wish you to finally find your pride again and to come out of your hole. A woman shouldn´t let herself being brought into line by a man."  
With a grim expression I looked after her and as my door was closed behind her, I uttered the irritated "Pah!" I had held back the whole time.  
Head turned, don´t make me laugh. Connor may let heads roll but my head was fine. He was a bastard and as I had already said to him, he wasn´t worth the thoughts and tears I had wasted on him and I was going to prove that to Theresa, too. Determined I pushed back the blanket, stood up and soon I was back in the world of the living and was acting as if the last days and especially Connor had never existed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Old mistakes**

 _May, 1783_

It was middle of April when I decided to delete Connor from my life and in the beginning of May I finally had the feeling that I had managed it. I didn´t think about him once and Theresa never mentioned him, too. It almost seemed like he had never appeared. I attended to my normal life completely. Without grim hooded guys who were making trouble and were almost blowing me up. I visited the opera, met other ladies for tea and enjoyed all of this to the full. Finally everything was like it had to be. Except of the missing ring on my left hand.  
By now Theresa was making every imaginable effort to marry me off but that was still something I didn´t want to accept. The men she was introducing me to were all charming but I almost had the feeling that they had no sincere interest in me anyway. Neither on the emotional nor on the financial domain because I couldn´t offer a dowry, thanks to my missing heritage and why should I marry if all of the men, who were worthy of consideration, were disregarding me more than I deserved it?

So I didn´t care if I would end as an old maid someday, no matter how often Theresa was reproaching me for that. Because I was on the brink of my twenty-fifth birthday and according to my teacher, twenty-five was almost thirty and in the age of thirty a woman would never have the chance to catch a man´s interest. So the Lady Bonham was trying hard to make me attracting the men with my charm and my appearance, if I had no financial wealth to show. But she achieved nothing more than I was starting to feel like a horse you wanted to sell before it became too old for the work on the fields. But I bore her efforts with a smile. At least she only wanted the best for me.

So one day I set off, without any protest, with the maidservant Maria for Tyburn, a village on the outskirts of London, to the tailor Lander, from whom Theresa had ordered a dress for me. I had only been there once so that he could take my measurements and that I could choose the fabrics and the colours for the dress. Theresa had taken care of the rest. So I didn´t know what was awaiting me during the fitting, as I entered the shop of the Frenchman. He greeted me effusively and almost dragged me to the rear of the atelier where a dummy stood, dressed in a dream of bordeaux silk. Fine tendrils, made of dark-green yarn, covered the skirt and lead to delicate sewn-on roses at the neckline. The skirt was gathered at the back of the hips so that the fabric fell to the ground in fine folds. It was beautiful, but on closer inspection, I got an idea why Theresa had insisted on a new dress.

"Are you sure, that it has to be exactly like this?"  
Lander raised an eyebrow in indignation as he heard my sceptical tone. "Of course", he said in his strong French accent and pushed me towards a room-divider where he helped me out of my dress at first and then into the new one and as I looked into the mirror, I knew why Theresa had wanted it like this. The dress was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. It suited me excellently and fitted perfectly. My only problem was that it seemed to be designed for accentuating my assets and with that I meant all of them.  
Lander had squeezed me into a corset that may be tying up my waist as always and was making me even more dainty than usual but that was also really pressing my bust size up. I wasn´t quite...well built up there but now I had a décolleté at which sight I seriously asked myself if any man would be able to look me in the eyes when he was standing in front of me. Furthermore the dress was cut wider around the shoulders than I was used to and I had to bite my tongue, not to tell Lander what I was thinking at this sight.

I looked like prostitute. Maybe a prostitute in a quite beautiful dress made of quite expensive fabrics but if I really had to walk around like this, just to cause attention of men, I preferred to do without this attention.  
"And it´s finished?", I asked, hoping that Lander just had forgotten some workflows so far and that the neckline was meant to be smaller. But the Frenchman nodded with a bright smile and looked at me through the tall mirror in front of us. "You are looking captivating, Mademoiselle. I can wrap it and give it with you immediately. Lady Bonham will be delighted."  
 _Yes, that´s exactly what I´m worried about._  
I forced myself to smile, what made Lander look even more satisfied. He was really proud about his work of art and I didn´t want to ruin him this joy.  
"I am going to see if I have some suitable accessories for you. As a gift, so to speak." He winked at me. "I´ll be back soon."

Lander implied a bow and disappeared with quick steps towards the back room. I took a deep breath, at least as deep as it was possible with the corset and looked critically at my reflection. "That´s way too much", I murmured and twitched at the neckline of the dress and glanced at Maria, who was standing next to the mirror and was looking at me encouraging.  
"Lady Bonham wanted this dress especially for your birthday celebration. After it you don´t need to wear it anymore, if you don´t want to."  
I squinched up my face with her words because I knew exactly what Theresa had planned for my birthday. She had announced many guests to me and maybe there were several single men among them to whom she wanted to present me satisfactorily. In this dress I was going to stand out, that´s for sure. But I could go without it.

I sighed, turned away from my reflection and made some steps, just to stop with my face twisted in pain. "I´m used to some things but no one has ever tied me so tightly into a corset", I gasped and tried to twitch the corset under the dress into a more comfortable position. With no appreciable success. These things were made to fit tightly. So I had no other choice than to get used to the corset and so I began again to pace back and forth through the atelier, with the naive hope that some movement would make everything more bearable. The opposite was the case.  
Only after a few steps I felt like I had a sprint behind me and I tried to minimize the sense of suffocation with every breathing technique I had learned during all the years of wearing a corset. With one hand leaned against the window frame, the other hand put on my hip, I looked outside and stared to a spot on the house´s wall opposite while I was concentrating on my breathing. With it I noticed that the street in front of the house was suddenly full of people who were all heading for one direction.

"What´s happening there?"  
Maria came to me and looked outside herself. "I guess they are all going to the Tyburn Tree to the execution."  
"Execution?"  
Maria nodded. "It was said in all the papers. They have caught the arsonist who lighted up the warehouse at the harbour. He´s going to be hanged today."  
My heart stopped for a beat and I stared at Maria in complete bewilderment, who suddenly became nervous under my gaze.  
"When did they catch him?"  
She shrugged her shoulders. "About five days ago. He had talked about everything in his drunken state and...Miss Lillian?"  
I hadn´t listened to her anymore but had gone towards the door, had opened it and had stepped out onto the street.

With quick steps I followed the crowd of people who were heading for the village´s edge where the Tyburn Tree, the three-armed gallows, was standing on a small hill. Here had always been one of the main places of execution of London but until now I had never experienced what was going on here when there was actually an execution. Everywhere people had gathered together and tried to catch a good view on the gallows. Around it stood several red-coats, who had formed a circle around a single man, from whom I could see nothing more than the dark hair.  
 _Please, don´t let it be him._  
Tensed I pinched my lips and got a fright, as someone touched my arm. It was Maria who had come after me and was looking at me with wide eyes. "Do you really want to watch this, Miss? Shouldn´t we bring the dress back?"  
Shortly my gaze slid down to the beautiful skirt of the dress but I shook my head firmly. I didn´t care about the dress at the moment. I needed to know if the man who was going to be executed was actually Connor. But if it was him, why had he been so stupid to get caught?  
Maria pressed something into my hand and I groaned nearly irritated as I saw that it was my parasol. This girl had things on its mind...  
The sun may was shining at full strength from the sky today but why should I be worried about by skin now? We stood in the midst of an excited crowd, who was expecting an execution and obviously the red-coats wanted to proceed to action. One of them stepped forward and stood up towards the people, who became almost completely silent immediately.

"This man..." The soldier pointed at the prisoner, who still wasn´t totally visible. "...is going to pay for his crime today, which he committed against our beloved city. Because of his cruel cold-heartedness and disrespectfulness, he had lit a fire, which would have become a catastrophe and a threat for many lives, if there hadn´t been the quick intervention of brave citizens. Many people would have come to harm and he will pay the highest prize which can be paid for this."  
He gave a hint and the crowd raised their voices loudly against the man, who was now led to the gallows. Only I stayed silent and closed my eyes as my gaze finally fell onto the condemned man.  
 _It´s not him._  
Relief seized me. The man, who was led to the gallows and placed onto a stool, was small, slight, with a wild growth of beard and a swollen face. He was a beggar who had, drunk and because of doubtful reasons, boasted about a crime, someone else had committed. Which Connor had committed. But this man was going to pay for it.

I bit my lower lip and turned away, full of disgust, as the man got a sack over his head and the noose around his neck. I wouldn´t watch how they executed an innocent and I hated myself for the short moment of relief, as I had seen that Connor wasn´t in danger. Slowly I pushed my way through the crowd, Maria close behind me and I winced as I heard how the stool was shoved aside. Even from the distance I could hear the prisoner´s death rattle and quickened my pace. Tears of anger rose into my eyes and they were meant only for the assassin, for whose foolishness a man had to die now.

We had almost left the place of execution behind us, as an outcry passed through the crowd. Confused I looked back and saw a single cloud of smoke enclosing the whole gallows. I heard the alarmed shouts of the soldiers, that they should catch someone but I couldn´t see anything until suddenly two men appeared at the edge of the cloud. It was the convicted man and a man in a white coat, who were running towards a horse, which was standing at the edge of the square. The man in the coat helped the other to get onto the horse, slapped the animal on its croup and watched how it rushed away at full gallop. Then he turned on his heel and stormed into the village. I stayed stunned until Maria grabbed my arm and pulled me with her. "We should leave, Miss."  
Her voice sounded frightened and like I was in trance, I went with her. I couldn´t believe what I had just seen. Had it been Connor who had saved the innocent? I hadn´t been able to see his face but his robe and weapons like arrows and bow on his back had been unmistakable, even from the distance.  
 _Now he is the one, they are chasing._

I winced as a shot sounded not far from us. Then another one. Then soldiers stormed out of a street, stopped and pointed to a house´s roof where a man in a white coat jumped over a chimney and kept running over the slippery tiles. The soldiers trained their rifles on the man, shot, didn´t hit him obviously and swearing they started running again.  
Without thinking I gathered up my skirts and ran as fast as I could after the men. Behind me I heard Maria crying out but I ignored her.

My look was firmly pointed at the man, who escaped unerringly over the roofs from his pursuers. I stopped shortly and without a moment of hesitation I headed for an alley. If I followed it and if Connor maintained his way, our paths would cross through this short cut. I had been in this village often when I had visited relatives here with my parents. I knew every corner in Tyburn and hoped that it would be of use to me now. Maybe I didn´t know what I should do exactly if I met Connor, but it was certain to me that I didn´t want to watch how he was shot from the roof like a dove from the sky.

As I had crossed the alley, I stood at the outermost edge of the village and could just see how Connor jumped off the roof into a hay cart with an elegant somersault.  
 _Well done._  
I stopped and looked to the cart, which was standing there motionless. Obviously Connor wanted to wait in his hiding place until his pursuers would give up their search for him. The redcoats came out of one of the other alleys and had a look around the vacant expanse.  
"He must have turned off somewhere and ran back into the village again. He couldn´t hide here."  
I raised an eyebrow. Wasn´t a hay cart quite obvious? Evidently not entirely, because the soldiers split up. In pairs they ran back into the alleys, only two of them stayed to search the environment for the absconder. With their rapiers they poked around in the surrounding bushes, looked into barrels, into a well and finally headed for the hay cart, Connor was hiding in.

Until now I had only watched the scene and I was on the brink of leaving. At least Connor would be able to deal with two soldiers. But I couldn´t. Either because of a worry about Connor or about two soldier´s lives, I took a deep breath, gathered up my skirts once again and ran, crying out loudly for help, out of my alley. Alarmed the soldiers, who had almost got to the hay cart, turned towards me and one of them caught me as I stumbled breathlessly into his arms.  
"This monster...he...", I stammered and waved frantically with my hand in front of my nose. The soldiers exchanged a confused look before my "saviour" helped me up and gave me a reassuring look, which became even more reassuring as it fell onto my broad décolleté.  
"No need to rush, Milady. What happened?"  
He had placed his hands on my waist and I had to pull myself together not to push him away. I kept my panic look instead and pointed with my parasol, I still had in my hand, to the alley I had just come from. I didn´t need to feign the gasping in doing so because running in this dress had been more than exhausting.  
"This man with the hood...who had freed the criminal. He just ran towards me in this alley. I thought...oh Lord, I thought he would kill me. These eyes. These devilish eyes..."

To my own astonishment tears were running down my cheeks now and my performance, besides my neckline, actually seemed to make an impression to the men. They exchanged a look again, stretched their shoulders and again I got a reassuring look.  
"You are safe now, Milady. We are going to catch this guy and if you stay here, we will come back as soon as possible and will bring you home."  
His grip at my waist became firmer and I nodded while I gave him an ostensible grateful smile. The soldier seemed to be satisfied with himself, let me go finally and stormed with his comrade into the direction in which the criminal had disappeared, as I had said it.  
I waited until they had veered away from my view, before I wiped away the tears from my cheeks and tugged my neckline straight, which felt like it had slid down to my naval during the run. No wonder that the two men wanted to see me again.

Next to me sounded a rustling and as I raised my eyes, I saw Connor in front of me, who was looking down at me with his usual grim face. "What was that for?"  
Hearing this tone, my eyebrows rose automatically and I raised my chin.  
"Is it forbidden to have a walk and to alert loyal serving soldiers to a criminal, who´s up to mischief? Luckily they are taking care of him. I was scared to death."  
It seemed like Connor came up with nothing after my cocky counterquestion because he simply pinched his lips and looked to the alley, where I had sent the soldiers in. At least he could have apologized or something like that but Connor wouldn´t be Connor if he hadn´t absolutely no clue about politeness. He kept staying right in front of me instead and I snorted irritated as I had to tilt my head back so that I could still look into his face.  
He loved doing this. Staring down grimly at others.  
I kept looking straight into his eyes and with that I noticed that he didn´t return this look. His attention was drawn further down and I gasped in indignation. Was he staring at my neckline?

"Excuse me?" I raised a hand and pushed it against his broad chest so that he had to take a step back. "My eyes are farther up, my friend."  
Connors gaze finally met mine and I crossed my arms in front of my chest, what unfortunately caused my breasts to be pushed up even more. I swore quietly and began again to tug on the fabric which just didn´t want to cover what it should. Connor stood motionless and watched my desperate efforts, which I finally gave up with a quiet yell of rage.  
"It seems like the dress is not quite comfortable." The assassin had folded his arms in front of his chest and scrutinized me with his head cocked while I felt how I blushed. I had already guessed that this dress would attract attention, but please not Connor´s. I had wanted to delete him from my mind and now I had run after him again, just to stand in front of him, dressed like a prostitute and feeling ridiculous.

"Do you at least like, what you see?", I asked, nearly snarling and began to undo my braid, which I had plaited in the morning for the sake of simplicity. Luckily I had done without an extravagant hairstyle because it only took a few seconds until I had draped my hip-length hair over my neckline. There was still enough to see but I didn´t feel so naked anymore. The assassin had still been satisfied with watching again and now he sighed quietly. Was he disappointed that there was nothing to look at anymore? Obviously not.  
He stepped towards me and his look was exactly the same he had given to me during our last meeting. "Haven´t I said that I don´t want to see you anymore?"  
Amazing. He could even revive this tone again. To my annoyance it hurt exactly like it had done that evening.  
"You could turn around and leave. No one is forcing you to look at me."  
"You followed me."  
"I was here accidentally."  
Even under the hood I could see how Connor frowned.  
"I fetched the dress from here, then I went to the execution, watched your rescue operation and as I wanted to go back to the tailor, I must have made a wrong turn and ended up here."  
"And you accidentally played to the soldiers the damsel in distress?"  
He didn´t believe me. Of course not, at least I was telling a complete nonsense. Nevertheless I raised my chin in a wave of defiance.

"You could just be grateful to me. I distracted them and you didn´t have to get your hands dirty. Now, if you´ll excuse me, I don´t want to bother you with my presence anymore." With these words I turned away and wanted to go, but Connor grabbed my wrist.  
"Lillian..."  
"Connor, I could start to cry for help because I´m pestered by a man with a hood."  
He let me go with a scornful snort, I opened my parasol and lifted it onto my shoulder, so that it formed a barrier between the native and me. I wouldn´t deal with him any longer. I had already deleted him from my life and I would adhere to it. I had wanted to help him because I had been worried about him but it had been unnecessary. It had been a mistake I actually hadn´t wanted to do again. With firm steps I went away and only after a few metres, a well-known ache spread inside of my chest.  
 _This damn corset._


	25. Chapter 25

**A sensible girl**

Four days later was my birthday and towards evening, I was standing in my room in front of my mirror and allowed, with my expression twisted in pain, that Maria laced me in the corset of the new dress. I had encouraged Lander to line the neckline with some fabric and to reduce it with that, what he had done quite unwillingly. Also Theresa had been everything but delighted about that change but I wanted it like this. On my special day I wouldn´t be dressed like a simple prostitute, just to impress some men. I didn´t need that. Someone who wanted me just because he liked my neckline, could go hang.

Apart from the corset, I felt much better in this dress now and was glad that I hadn´t to think about how much the men got to see from my décolleté. So I could give a satisfied smile to my reflection before I left my room with Maria and went down to Theresa, who was standing in the centre of the great parlour and urged the servants to finish their work. In about an hour we were expecting our guests and I still didn´t know who my mentor had invited. When she heard my steps, she turned towards me with a bright smile and reached out her hands for me, which I grabbed.  
"How much I would like to see you in this dress, child. But I know that Lander did a good job, except of this terrible change.  
I only smiled about her words and let my look roam through the parlour. Everywhere were candleholder set up, a large buffet was taking up a whole side of the room and the seating-accommodations had been shoved aside to create enough space in the centre of the room. Here should be the dancing and the listening to the music while the rest of the society was going to split onto the hallways during the evening anyway.

I didn´t know how many guests we were expecting but I was relieved that they were not going to be as much as on the soiree of the judge. We hadn´t space for that anyway. I would have to spend time with all of the guests and the less they were the better.  
"I hope you mostly invited ladies and gentlemen I know."  
Theresa smiled brightly and patted my cheek. "Don´t worry, you will see many familiar faces. But of course I want you to make new acquaintances, too."  
I rolled my eyes because I knew what she was alluding to. "You won´t give up, won´t you?"  
"Not until I can give Lander the task of sewing a wedding gown for you."

As it rang at the gate, the both of us looked at each other likewise surprised and Theresa frowned indignantly, while one of the girls went out to open the gate.  
"A premature guest, how rude."  
Theresa linked arms with me and together we went to the entrance door, where the head of the maidservant appeared again.  
"A Jeffrey Gardner and a Walter Tibbet want to speak with you, Milady. Shall I invite them in?"  
My breathing stopped shortly and with wide eyes I stared at Theresa, who pinched her lips and nodded grimly. "Let them in. Lillian, would you bring me to the parlour, please? I don´t want to greet them here."  
Without saying a word, I did what I was told but couldn´t hide that my hands were trembling. Gardner was here? In England? And he was visiting us?  
"What do you think is it he wants?", I asked and didn´t managed to hide the fear in my voice. I didn´t know exactly what I was afraid of but I had the feeling that I couldn´t mean something good if Gardner was making an appearance. With Tibbet who had threatened to me a few weeks ago, that he would keep an eye on me because he didn´t believe in the circumstances of my uncle´s death.  
Theresa sat down on an armchair and indicated to me that I should take up position next to her.  
"We are going to find it out but you have to pull yourself together. You mustn´t be afraid of him, then you have no reason for that."

I only nodded faintly and tried exerted to calm down my wildly beating heart, as Jeffrey Gardner, followed by Tibbet, entered the parlour. He had taken off his hat and implied a bow with a bright smile, before he stepped towards us.  
"Lady Bonham. Miss Lillian. It´s a pleasure to be greeted by you."  
He gripped Theresa´s hand at first, implied a kiss on the hand and then he turned towards me with his usual charming smile. "Miss Lillian, you are feast for the eyes, as always."  
I got a kiss on the hand, too and gave him a thankful smile, which I hoped didn´t seemed too shaky. Tibbet stood in the door with an almost bored expression and as he noticed that I was looking at him, his lips twisted into a nasty grin.  
 _I will keep an eye on you. On you and your Spanish friend._  
Was that it? Was this about Connor? I swallowed heavily and turned my eyes away from Tibbet, had to force myself into hiding my nervousness.

In the meantime Gardner had taken a seat at Theresa´s request and now Tibbet and I were the only ones who were standing. I didn´t want to sit anyway. I rather had the feeling that I had to flee and I stood tensed, one hand dug into the headrest of Theresa´s armchair. My teacher appeared totally relaxed.  
"Please tell us what brings you here, Mr. Gardner. We´re expecting guests for this evening and I would like to have this conversation finished, before the first ones arrive."  
"Of course. I don´t want to keep you back for too long but I have to speak about something quite serious with you and especially with Miss Lillian. Unfortunately it cannot be delayed."  
I held my breath for a moment as his gaze met mine but I couldn´t read any evil intention in his eyes. He was totally calm.  
"Unfortunately I have to tell you, that Judge Pellmore was found dead yesterday. Murdered."  
He made a short break and I felt how all colour subsided from my face. Richard Pellmore had been murdered, a few weeks after Connor and I had visited his soiree and I didn´t believed that it was a coincidence that Gardner had just appeared here to tell us about it. After all we weren´t close to the Pellmores.  
"Do they know who the murderer is?" Theresa´s voice was still amazingly calm and I was glad that I hadn´t to say something myself.  
"We are quite sure, yes." Gardner looked at me again and I swallowed heavily. I almost suspected what was following now.

"Tibbet told me that you had arrived with a young Spaniard. A Rafael Valdés. Is that true?"  
I nodded, not able to speak.  
"Well, this Valdés is obviously not what he pretended to be. He´s no Spaniard. He´s a savage from America and on top of that an assassin." He made a break and scrutinized me. I didn´t know how to react. Shocked? Casually? Caught? I decided in favour of the former because it fitted perfectly to the fear I was feeling again. I made no effort to hide the trembling of my hands anymore and as I looked shortly to Tibbet, I thought that his grin had become wider and more spiteful. They said they knew that Connor had done it. But had they caught him? Or were they still searching for him?  
"I´m sorry, but I have to ask you if you knew it, Lillian?"  
I looked at Gardner again, whose blue eyes had become more serious than before. Almost lurking he returned my gaze and after some hesitation I shook my head. I felt bad about slandering Connor but I thought that I had no other choice. The templars would find a reason to jail me for treason or something else, even though I wasn´t part of the order. But my uncle had belonged to them and they would simply manage it that it seemed like I had instructed his murder and then I could be dragged towards the public court.

"You need to know Lillian, that I was seriously worried as I heard of your uncle´s death and your disappearance afterwards. I don´t think that you are in league with this savage and if you confirm it, I´m going to believe you."  
His look almost ran me through and I felt more and more uncomfortable. I didn´t think that he was going to make it easy to me. There was something else in his eyes, too. He was planning something but I didn´t know what.  
"Don´t be foolish, Gardner", Theresa intervened. "You don´t actually think that an innocent girl like Lillian is dealing with such men. She came back from America completely traumatized, beside herself with the loss she had suffered. This assassin took advantage of her situation and cheated her."  
Gardner´s look wandered to my mentor and he sighed deeply. "Of course I don´t think that but I have to be sure." He looked at me again. "Lillian, you know that I never made a secret of my affection for you. I can´t bear it that you had to deal with such a person and especially I can´t bear the thought that someone exploited you for his own advantage. Is it like Lady Bonham said it or not?"

No, it wasn´t. Connor had killed my uncle and had freed me with that, although unintentionally. He had brought me back to my homeland and I had helped him voluntarily. Even though he had given me the feeling that he had exploited me: He wasn´t the monster Gardner was trying to make him to. But I had no choice.  
"Yes, it is. I didn´t know who he is." My voice was nothing more than whisper but it seemed that it was enough for Gardner. He nodded and a smile sneaked onto his face as he stood up and approached me. He took my hand, squeezed it and looked deep in my eyes.  
"I´m very pleased that you are the sensible girl I am considering you to be."  
His free hand came dangerously close to my face and I had to pull myself together not to flinch back as he began to play with one of my curled strands. He was scaring me. His proximity and this furtive expression in his eyes.  
"I couldn´t bear it if you betrayed me, because I would have had to punish you just as the bastard himself."  
Just as?  
"Have you seized him?", my voice was shaking with this question but Gardner was just smiling and brushed, nearly tenderly, the strand of hair behind my ear.  
"Please don´t worry about this vermin. It doesn´t you good."

He took a step back and reached into his coat pocket, to retrieve a small parcel, wrapped in tissue paper and gave it to me.  
"A birthday present. I thought that it may please you and that it will remind you of me."  
My hands were trembling as I took the parcel and shortly, there was a dangerous sparkle in Gardner´s eyes before he was smiling as charming as usual again.  
"Well, I don´t want to detain the Ladies any longer. A nice evening to you."  
He bowed and had one of the girls leading him outside. Tibbet gave me a nasty look once again, before he left, too.

A weird silence spread inside of the parlour, before it was broken by Theresa´s snort.  
"This bigoted fellow. With his charming attitude, he´s one of the most repulsive men in the order. But promise me, child: Don´t let him unsettle you. He has nothing on you and it´s good that he has accepted this lie. You could have ended up on the gallows."  
Her words got no response. Trembling I had taken a seat and stared at the parcel in my hand which I held tightly. I didn´t want to open it. I didn´t want to know, what was in it. I was afraid. But nevertheless I tore the tissue paper off and exposed a jewellery case, which was big enough to contain a bracelet or a necklace. Slowly I let the clasp snap open, looked inside and the case, together with its content, fell to the floor with a muffled bang.  
"What is it, child?" Theresa´s voice sounded worried but I didn´t react. Wide-eyed I stared at the piece of jewellery, which had fallen out of the case onto the floor.  
A broad leather strap with three bear-claws tied to it and each one of them was dappled with blood.


	26. Chapter 26

**A favour for a friend**

"Lillian, what happened?"  
Still I hadn´t reacted to Theresa´s words but took with a trembling hand the necklace, which was still lying on the floor. The leather strap slid through my fingers and I stroked with my thumb over one of the claws, on which the blood was dry already. Of course I had recognized the necklace, like Gardner must have wanted it. I had seen it often enough at its bearer.  
"He gave me Connor´s necklace as...a present", I whispered and Theresa looked at me with knitted brows. "Are you sure?"  
I simply put the piece of jewellery into her hand and could see that this gesture was answer enough for her. Who else should wear such a necklace if not someone of Connor´s background?  
"So Gardner knew that our story has been a lie, all along. He just wanted to make sure that you´re not causing trouble to him."

That must have been his plan right from the start. He wanted to intimidate me, make clear to me that he had me in his grip. He knew just as well as me that he could blame me for my uncle´s, maybe even for Pellmore´s murder. Even though I hadn´t killed them, he could interpret it like I had helped Connor with it and the only things I had to expect then were the gallows. There was nothing which could exonerate me because I had been seen often with the assassin. At least I had introduced him to Pellmore. Aside from the guards who had seen us on the hallway and could recognize us maybe. I was up to the ears in problems and Gardner had known that. His visit had been supposed to be a warning: If I kept my mouth shut, I had nothing to fear about and the necklace should remind me of what was going to happen to me if I didn´t. If I was no "sensible girl".  
 _But what have they done to Connor?_

Gardner hadn´t said that they had caught him. But from where else should he have got the necklace? As if Theresa had guessed my thoughts, she returned the necklace to me, put a hand on my arm and gave me look, which probably should have reassured me.  
"It´s not said that they have him. Maybe he had lost the necklace in combat and Gardner wants you to think something else and be cowed because of that."  
"And what if they have him?", I asked with a cracked voice and enclosed the necklace with my hand, so that the claws on it bored nearly painful into my palm. I felt how tears were rising into my eyes and suddenly I had the feeling that I couldn´t breathe properly anymore. The corset felt tighter than usual and I began to struggle for breath desperately. I could only see from the corners of my eyes how Theresa sent Maria, who approached me in concern, into the kitchen before my mentor firmly took my wrists.  
"Lillian, keep calm now!", she snapped at me and pushed my chin upwards with her hand so that I had to look at her. "That´s exactly what Gardner wants. He wants you to lose your nerve. He wants to plague you and you´re permitting it. You have to keep a clear head."  
"But what am I to do? Maybe Connor is..."  
"Connor is not your concern." Her eyes sparkled seriously and her voice had taken on a firm tone.

"Oh Lord, child. This boy has chosen a life that is guided by a fight which exists for ages now and is fought out till the death. He knew exactly where has got engaged in but you have nothing to do with that matter. You never did and that´s a good thing. If he fell into the order´s hands, then he brought this on himself."  
She gave me the glass of water, which Maria had gotten from the kitchen. I was still breathing irregularly but I put the glass to my lips and had a few mouthfuls. It helped to calm be down to some extent but the chest tightness decreased. Nevertheless tears ran down my face, which Theresa wiped away gently. "You´ve got involved in all this innocently and I should have thrown this assassin out as you brought him here. But I simply thought about my own anger at the order und should have never allowed you to get caught in the crossfire. Connor told you that you shouldn´t see each other anymore and maybe that was the smartest thing he ever uttered. If something happens to you, only because I didn´t look after you, I would never forgive myself and Gardner will show no mercy, if you don´t keep out of it. This..." She put a hand on mine, which was still enclosing the necklace. "...was a warning you should take seriously. Please, Lillian."  
"So I shall pretend that nothing happened?"  
"As you already did before, yes."  
I swallowed heavily.

Of course I had pushed Connor out of my mind once. I had managed it not to think and worry about him anymore. But that had been shattered as I had thought that he had been in serious danger. How should I do it now, where the danger was obvious? Where I didn´t know exactly what had happened to him? What Gardner had done to him maybe and if he was injured?  
 _Because I would have had to punish you just as the bastard himself._  
The templar´s words and the necklace with the blood on it. How should I repress that?  
"I suggest, you go upstairs and rest. I will instruct someone to cancel on our guests."  
I only nodded slowly, let somebody take the glass out of my hand and let Maria accompany me to my room. Quietly Maria helped me out of my dress, into my nightgown and undid my hair before she left me alone and I went to bed. Still holding the necklace tightly.

* * *

The next morning, everyone was talking about the murder of the respectable Judge Pellmore. I never read the newspaper and I wouldn´t have done it on this day, too. But as I entered the parlour, Flora had just read the paper to Theresa and put it quickly aside, as I came in. The headline on the front page caught my eyes anyway. _American savage kills judge._  
"So they caught him?", I asked soundlessly and Theresa appeared alarmed for a moment as she heard my voice. Obviously she hadn´t expected me. But then she nodded.  
"Is there anything written about a trial or a sentencing?"  
"No, but the templars will manage it, that they get the responsibility for both."  
Theresa reached out her hand for me and indicated to me that I should come to her. Slowly I approached her and put my hand into hers, which she grabbed as firmly as she had done yesterday.  
"How do they portray him? I mean the newspaper."  
Theresa took a deep breath at my question and asked me to sit down next to her, what I did reluctantly.  
"You shouldn´t think about it, child."  
"But I want to. What do they write?"  
My mentor sighed deeply. "That he is a savage who´s attacking high-ranking Britons absolutely randomly. In revenge for the discrimination of his people in the former colonies. They don´t even know his name but they don´t care about it anyway."  
"That´s ridiculous!"

Angered I leaped up and approached with vigorous steps the fireside, leaned against its ledge and stared into the cooled down ash. The cold had disappeared long ago and the sun was shining down mercilessly on London for a few days now. She announced a wonderful warm summer but as much as I was always looking forward to the summer, inside of me was still deepest winter. My heart was in my mouth and I tried to swallow the tears of anger, which were blazing up. For whatever reason Connor had killed the judge, he was no monster. He never killed indiscriminately and above all he would never attack someone. They were crucifying him as a savage without knowing him. Without even being interested in him.  
A savage. Someone who had no value in this society, that´s what they thought he was.  
Angry I struck with my fist against the wall and squinched up my face as a short pain flashed through my whole arm. Beating against a solid wall wasn´t a good idea but at least I had the feeling that I could think clearer now.  
"Are you feeling better now?", Theresa asked snappishly, of course my short outburst of rage hadn´t escaped her notice. "I told you to pull yourself together."

With a grim expression I rubbed my aching fist and sat down on the chaise longue, which stood in front of the fireside. "I´m sorry", I growled and my mentor´s look became a bit more lenient.  
"I know that it is difficult for you. But I hope you understood that you have to take Gardner seriously. Whatever he is going to do to the assassin, the same fate is in store for you, if you´re not careful."  
If I wasn´t careful. Of course I had understood that, because unfortunately Gardner had achieved exactly what he had wanted to. He had made me afraid. Afraid of what he was capable of. But this fear wasn´t only about what he could do to me. I was primarily worried about Connor. The assassin had hurt me and had treated me like I was a means to an end. He had gotten me into the biggest trouble of my life and Theresa was right when she said that I should have never been involved in the fight between templars and assassins. But I had been aware of that as I had followed Connor to the homestead. As I had agreed with Connor to bring me to London. I had known all of that and had accepted it and that´s why I couldn´t turn my back on it and pretend that there had never been an assassin. I hadn´t the heart to do it but on the other hand, there was nothing I could help Connor with. I couldn´t achieve anything because I would end up on the gallows immediately and that wouldn´t be a help to anyone.

In a twinge of desperation I covered my face with my hands and tried to force back this terrible feeling. I only raised my head as the bell at the gate rang and the desperation gave place to fear. Gardner and Tibbet again? Did they want to arrest me after all? I leaped up to my feet and Theresa had stood up, too. Even she seemed to be tensed but as Maria entered and announced Catherine, Lynette and Hannah, the both of us gave a sigh of relief. My mentor ordered to let them in and left the parlour while I was taking a seat again. I didn´t feel like having a chat with the ladies and was on the brink of standing up and leaving as the three came in.

Lynette and Catherine hugged me tumultuously and said something like: They were so sorry for me that I had fallen victim to such a deceiver. I had to control myself not to shout at them that Connor was no deceiver, but I kept my mouth shut and even managed it to smile at them.  
"We needed to see, how you are." Lynette sat down on an armchair and Catherine took a seat too, holding my hand compassionately in hers.  
"How terrible that such a monster could creep in so easily. But he seemed to be so charming. I can understand that you didn´t notice it. I wouldn´t have done it, too."  
Lynette nodded confirmatively and only Hannah was still standing in the door and gave me an examining look. Of course she knew it better. She had known Connor´s true identity right from the start and as per him, she had helped him. Because she belonged to the assassins and for that reason, I didn´t want to see her actually. At least the brotherhood had failed Connor and I was sure that he wouldn´t have been caught, if they had helped him right from the beginning.  
"I hope you´re not taking it to heart?"

I pulled my lower lip through my teeth as Lynette asked me that and dug my hands into my skirt to stop them from shaking.  
"I don´t want to talk about it", I uttered and both ladies exchanged a questioning look. Did they really think that I would gossip about this issue with them? Like nothing happened? Did they want to hear from me, how much I detested the fake Spaniard? They could wait for long for that. I stood up and removed my hand from Catherine.  
"To be honest, I would be grateful if you would go now. I´m not well."  
This time they seemed to be a bit miffed but it didn´t interest me. I called for Maria, who should accompany them to the door and ignored their grim expressions while doing so. I only looked to Hannah, who was still standing in the door and made no move to leave with the others.  
"That applies to you, too."

The red-haired frowned, hearing my caustic tone but she didn´t move an inch.  
"Hannah, I´m serious. Leave, please."  
She crossed her arms in front of her chest and just raised an eyebrow deridingly. I was on the brink of grabbing her and dragging her out.  
"Are you mad because I fed your sweetheart with information you couldn´t give to him? Or do you still think that I´ve tasted from the wild fruit?"  
Shortly I was speechless in face of her directness and gasped before I followed suit and crossed my arms in front of my chest.  
"First, he´s not my sweetheart and second, I don´t care about what you have or haven´t done with him."  
Her eyebrows rose again but I ignored it.  
"The point is that your brotherhood hasn´t helped him as he needed it."  
"I don´t know what he had told you, but I´m no assassin."  
Now I was the one who raised her eyebrows deridingly. I thought that I had said almost the same sentence to Connor before. He hadn´t wanted to believe me, too.  
"He said that you belong to them."  
"I´m working for them but I´m not a part of the brotherhood. I give them information they wouldn´t get so easily and they are paying for it. That´s all."  
"They are paying you?"  
"Financially. And don´t worry, I didn´t charge anything to Connor."  
A smug smile graced her full lips and I had to pull myself together, not to roll my eyes. This woman was incredible. But at the same time, a thought struck me.  
"You surely know, where the assassins are, don´t you?"  
"Yes, but I´m not allowed to peddle it around. Otherwise I would be found dead somewhere myself."  
A smile curled my lips and I noticed with satisfaction, that Hannah seemed to be slightly confused.  
"Hannah, you have to do me a favour. As my friend."  
Hannah cocked her head and pinched her lips with a sceptical look.  
"Bring me to the brotherhood and if you like, I will pay you."

* * *

I had had to talk at Hannah until she had agreed to bring me to the assassins. During an almost one-hour carriage ride out of the town and into the London´s hinterland, she told me again and again that she wasn´t going to accompany me and that I had to carry the responsibility for my own doings. I didn´t know what she was afraid of but I wasn´t going to attack the assassins after all. At least not physically. I wouldn´t even start to hide that I felt anger towards them.

Hannah seemed to be seriously worried as the carriage stopped, far remote from the town and on an open field and we got out. The red haired indicated to me that I should follow her and I did. She led me over a muddy field path and I almost thought that she was deceiving me. I saw nothing else but shrubs and weathered rocks in our surroundings. No houses, no wheel tracks or footprints on the path. How should several people be hiding here?  
"Are you sure that we are right?", I asked sceptically and only got an energetic nod. Hannah had pinched her lips and seemed to be not willing to say something. But that was fine with me, as long as she hadn´t lied to me. So I followed her silently until she stopped suddenly.

Frowning I looked around and regarded the weathered walls, which were rising waist-high in front of us. It looked like there used to be buildings here once but from the distance, they had looked like squared rocks.  
"Here was a cemetery once", Hannah started to answer my unspoken question. "The walls belong to a vault." And to this one, she led me now. We went round the remaining ruins and I was astonished as stairs were leading into the depth in front of us.  
Undetermined I stopped on the landing but as Hannah had arrived downstairs already, I began to follow her quickly. Now we stood in front of a weathered wooden door, Hannah started to knock at. It sounded like a signal but I didn´t pay too much attention to it. I was too tensed and flinched even, as it suddenly cracked loudly behind the door and it got opened a bit.  
"Hannah Lokshire. A friend of mine wants to speak with the grandmaster."  
I could only see a pair of grey-blue eyes which were examining me underneath a hood before the assassin in front of us opened the door completely and silently signed to us to follow him. But Hannah turned around and left. How she had said it: She wouldn´t accompany me and so I entered the vault on my own and the closing of the heavy door behind me made me shiver.


	27. Chapter 27

**_Hey :)  
_**

 ** _Sorry that it took so long, but my writing-motvation in general had been on a long vacation I guess. Now it´s back and here´s the next chapter. :)_**

 ** _As an information: The réticule I mentioned here and in another chapter before, was a little pouch the ladies wore on their wrists and where they kept all the little things a lady needs. Powder, smelling salt, etc. ;)_**

* * *

 **I will find a way**

I followed the assassin who led me silently through the only by torches enlightened corridors. The air was stale, cold and traversed by a musty smell and I didn´t feel well with the thought that I was below ground. I may didn´t know how far away we were from the daylight here, but I had the feeling that we were departing from it more and more. The vault seemed to be no usual vault for the dead. She was more a huge, branched tunnel system and I asked myself how something like this could exist underneath the ground and especially how someone could live here.  
"Are many of your brothers staying here?", I asked curiously but only received a meaningless humming as an answer. I frowned. Did I misunderstand Connor´s taciturn manner and he had talked to me in "Assassin" instead?  
 _Maybe the assassins are just an eccentric bunch as the templars and maybe that´s the reason why they don´t get along with each other._  
Inwardly I rolled my eyes with this ridiculous thought and hoped that there were assassins who were more communicative than Connor and the gentleman in front of me. Otherwise I could have spared myself the way. I almost walked into the assassin, as he stopped suddenly and knocked at a door, I hadn´t noticed yet. It was a simple, quite weathered wooden-door, which may was to find in damp cellar rooms normally. Not quite impressive but as it opened, I could look into the room behind and gasped in astonishment.

The room was a huge hall with a high ceiling from which a chandelier, with the diameter corresponded to the size of a full-grown man, was hanging down. The candles thereon bathed the room in a single twilight but I was already used to it, thanks to the corridors, so I had no problems in seeing anything. Of course the large, round table in the middle of the room, underneath the chandelier, came to my attention. Certainly up to twenty people could take a seat at it and with the old, bold chairs it reminded me of the legend of King Arthur´s Round Table. But no knights had taken a seat at it but four assassins, who looked up attentively from a stack of papers, as my companion and I entered the room.

"Holden, who´s that?", asked a woman´s voice and despite of the hoods over their faces, I knew that they were examining me.  
"Mrs. Lokshire brought her here and said, that she wants to speak with the grandmaster."  
The heads of the three, who were sitting at the table, turned to the man, who sat between them and put the feather in his hand aside.  
"Come in, Miss..."  
"My name is Lillian Jarvis", I introduced myself and made a step into the room. A bit undetermined I stopped in front of the table and watched the four assassins over, who sat in the semi-darkness. I could barely see their faces and was secretly irritated about it. Why were they wearing their hoods here, where no one got to see them, anyway?  
As if the man, who had asked me in, had read my mind, he pushed the hood back and I saw a middle-aged man, with close-cropped blond hair and green eyes. At least one of them was green, because the left side of the man´s face was cleft by a single scar, which ran across the eyebrow, over the eye, down to the chin. His left eye had a grey gleam, like Theresa´s eyes and with that it was blind obviously. But his look was keen and he gave me a friendly smile while the others kept their hoods on so I still could only imagine their faces.

"Miss Jarvis, we already heard about you. Or better to say, about your uncle who found his death through the hand of one of our brothers. So you should understand that I am surprised about your presence here."  
"Maybe it´s a trap and her templar-friends are already waiting for us above."  
It was the female voice again and it came from the assassin on the left side of the blond, who had stood up and was now recognizable as a woman through her figure. The man, who had talked to me, raised a hand reassuringly and the assassin sat down again but stayed tensed.  
"Janet, maybe we should listen to what Miss Jarvis has to say." His voice stayed friendly and he indicated to me, that I should sit down. Hesitantly I attended his request and watched the assassins in front of me over. I had been scared already as a single assassin had thought that I was a templar. But in face of four I was more than scared.  
"Excuse me, Miss Jarvis. Maybe we should introduce ourselves." The blond assassin smiled apologetically and put a hand to his chest.  
"My name is Adam Lester, grandmaster of our brotherhood in London. The lady next to me is Janet Pierce, the men on my left Charles Péchon and next to Miss Pierce sits Garrett Holden."  
The introduced assassins nodded one after another and took of their hoods so that I could look into their faces.

Janet Pierce seemed to be younger than me, was Afro-American and with her appearance, she reminded me of Anya but I had never seen such an arrogant expression on her. I almost got the feeling that Janet wanted to attack me across the table but luckily she didn´t. The other men seemed to be friendlier but not less distrustful.  
"Well, Miss Jarvis. What do you want to talk about with me? I hope that it doesn´t disturb you if the others stay with us?"  
I only shook my head silently and Lester propped up his elbows on the table top, folded his hands and looked at me expectantly but still friendly. I still felt insecure but I had a good reason to be here and so I took courage and began to declare myself.  
I told them that I knew Connor. That he had helped and brought me to England. Told them how he had asked me for help when he hadn´t got it from the brotherhood and at this point I earned an indignant snort from Pierce but Lester indicated to her to stay silent in an instant. I told them about Connor´s search for his friends, through the visit on the soiree as well as through the fire at the harbour and so I came to yesterdays evening, when Gardner had come to me. I didn´t need to tell them about Connor´s arrest because the assassins had already heard about it.

With serious expressions they sat in front of me and Lester leaned back, without taking his eyes off me.  
"What you´re telling us is mainly known to us already. At least Connor came to us after his arrival and asked us for help, which we had to deny him unfortunately. We told him that he is on his own. That he is in the templar´s clutches now is unfortunate. But I fear that there is nothing we can do."  
My eyes widened and I was really speechless. I hadn´t been able to believe that the assassins didn´t want to help him when Connor had told me. But to hear now, from an armed man, three likewise armed comrades next to him, that they weren´t able to help a single brother, was unbelievable.  
"It is unfortunate?" In my voice all my disbelief was hearable and I leaned a bit forward, open disdain in my eyes. "The grandmaster of an order of gifted fighters wants to make me believe that he can do nothing to save one, maybe four men? You´re joking."  
Pierce leaped up to her feet, propped up her arms on the tabletop and stared at me furiously.  
"Guard your tongue, Lady or I will cut it out. You don´t know..."  
"Janet, enough!"

Lester had raised his voice just a bit but it was totally determinant. Pierce snorted scornfully but sat down, not without giving me almost deadly looks.  
"I do understand that our decision, not to help Connor, is incomprehensible to you but you should understand that as grandmaster it is my duty to protect my people. Our brotherhood has almost lost the fight against the templars in this country. Our number was heavily decimated, not only in London. To back out was our only possibility and we have to collect our strength. We have to act thoughtfully and escape the templar´s attention until we can face them. I can´t risk all of that for a single brother, as much it hurts me." Honesty was in his eyes and I believed him but it didn´t mean that I actually understood him.  
"I always thought that the assassins had a certain honour. An honour which forbids them to run away from problems."  
Lester cocked his head and a bitter smile appeared on his face. "Well, sometimes it is better to leave the honour aside. To the good of everyone."  
"To the good of everyone?" I laughed quietly. "That almost sounds like the words of a templar."  
The three assassins next to Lester gave me angry looks now. At least I had not simply doubted their sense of honour but had put them on an equal footing with their enemies. I knew that I was playing with fire but I had the feeling that I had no other choice. So I ignored the others and only concentrated on the grandmaster, who looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. He didn´t seemed to be angry. More thoughtful.

Only when Pierce stood up again and pointed at me with her hidden blade, I turned towards her. Her face was a distorted with rage and I almost expected her to bare her teeth beside her growling voice.  
"You don´t know what you´re talking about, Lady. When I´m looking at you, I think that you are one of these petted little daughters who always got what they wanted and don´t know what it means to serve a community. You´re coming here and demand that we help you but you don´t know what this would mean to us."  
Her words remind me of Connor´s but I kept a straight face. I just looked at her before I stood up slowly and looked at each assassin seriously. "It is true that I never needed to worry about anything in my life. I never had to fight for something I wanted. I really don´t know how it is like to serve a community. To fight for others. But I´m not here to ask you to help me. I ask you to help someone who had never done anything else than serving others. To help others." I made a short break, grabbed into my réticule and took out Connor´s necklace, which I put onto the table.  
"Connor Kenway is one of the most selfless people I was ever allowed to meet. He may be the most insociable, too but I had never met someone who is fighting for others with such a determination. He is here because he wants to rescue three of his friends. One of them has a pregnant wife at home who wishes nothing else than that her child can get to know its father. I was there when Connor swore to make that happen. I was there when he assured several men of that they won´t come back without their comrade. And he is fighting for that stubbornly. Since he came here he had done nothing else than searching for his friends. Weeks have passed but he never gave up because he wants to keep his promises. Because that is his sense of honour. He doesn´t deserve to fail now just because he doesn´t get support. Support from the brotherhood he has dedicated his life to. You are the only ones who have the strength to help him. So I´m begging you in his name: Help him. Him and his friends."

During my speech my gaze had been strictly directed to Lester, who had put his folded hands to his lips and had scrutinized me silently. Only now I noticed that tears had risen into my eyes which I tried to blink away now.  
The room was filled with silence. Nobody moved, nobody said something. Four pairs of eyes were directed to me, who was still standing there and looked down onto the necklace. I hadn´t prepared my words. I had spoken from my heart, had said what I was thinking and now I hoped that it had been the right words.  
As I heard Lester taking a deep breath, I raised my eyes, full of hope. The assassin had closed his eyes and seemed to be lost in thought. It took a while until he opened his eyes which were full of regret now.  
"I´m sorry, Miss Jarvis. But there´s nothing we can do."

* * *

The assassin´s grandmaster had induced that I was brought home and during the whole way back, I felt like I was paralysed. I couldn´t understand why the assassins were refusing their help. They wanted to protect their brothers but could they actually take the responsibility to drop one of them while doing so?  
I couldn´t believe it but as much as I wanted to, I couldn´t be angry. I was just disappointed and endlessly sad at the same time. The assassins had been my last hope. The only ones who could have done something against the templars. But they were refusing to do it and so I was on my own. So Connor was on his own.  
 _That´s not fair._  
A single tear ran down my cheek but I wiped it away. I didn´t want to sink into grief again. I didn´t want to accept that there was no way to help Connor. There had to be a way.

As I arrived at home, I directly headed for my room and sat down on my bed. With the pillow in my back, I sat there and let Connor´s necklace slide through my fingers again and again, while my mind was searching feverishly for a solution. For a way to safe him and to give him back his property. I didn´t want to keep this necklace. I didn´t need something to remember Gardner´s words. They were omnipresent and omnipresent was my antipathy to adhere to them. To crawl away.  
Maybe I wasn´t the bravest and strongest person. I had no idea how to fight. I was weak. But should I accept that I was treated like a stupid girl because of that? Like someone who was going to follow when he was told to? Twenty-five years of my life I would have answered these questions with Yes but now I refused to. Now it was the time that I was able to help someone and I wouldn´t close my eyes in front of that. Not this time. Not like I had done in front of the slaves.  
 _I will find a way._

As there was a knock on the door, I let the necklace disappear in one of my skirt´s folds and saw with relief, that it was Maria who entered. "I wanted to ask if you´re needing something, Miss."  
I shook my head with a smile but when Maria just wanted to leave again, I called her back.  
"Do you know if they wrote in the newspapers in which prison Connor was brought to?"  
Maria looked at me in confusion and shook her head slowly. "No, but I guess that he´s certainly housed in Newgate."  
I nodded slowly. Of course. The Tower wasn´t a prison for the usual criminals anymore long ago and Newgate was known for its more than inhuman arrest-conditions. If the murderer of a judge is imprisoned somewhere, it would be the right place. I swallowed heavily when I imagined what Connor was going through there.  
"Why are you asking?"  
I was startled out of my thoughts and shook my head. "It´s not important. Don´t worry."  
Maria nodded slowly before she wished me a good night and closed the door behind her. I took out the necklace again and stroke with my fingers over the claws on it.  
 _I will find a way._

* * *

The next day I felt that an unbelievable calmness had spread inside of me. The desperateness of the last days was gone and had been replaced by a hopeful determination. Theresa noticed it, too. She wondered about my sudden change of heart when I told her that I didn´t want to think about Connor´s fate anymore. I felt that she wasn´t positive about that really but she didn´t ask further questions. She had trust in my reason which she had instilled into me during all these years. The reason Gardner had commended me for. I spent the forenoon completely relaxed in the parlour, sat in one of the armchairs next to the window and read, not without having a look outside from time to time. It was sunny day, with a bright blue sky and it seemed like the summer had finally found its way to the usually cold England.

"Maria, would you help me into the new dress? I want to have a walk and to take it out a bit."  
Maria nodded in surprise but she went upstairs with me without saying a word and helped me into the dress, Theresa had given to me for my birthday and which I actually had been supposed to take out during the feast. As I wore it now again I regarded me elaborately in the mirror and finally grabbed some hair pins and ribbons from my washstand and began to tie my hair back to a tight braid, so that my shoulders and face were exposed. Maria had watched it silently and when I looked at her through the mirror, she smiled slightly. "You are looking like you couldn´t wait for the summer."  
I smiled, too. "I can´t."

I let her give me my parasol and as we went downstairs and she wanted to accompany me outside, I instructed her to stay home. "I want to be for myself and visit my parent´s grave."  
Maria accepted it with a nod and I left the house. In the front garden I blinked shortly into the sun, enjoyed the warm feeling on my skin, before I opened the parasol and went through the gate to the street.  
I walked a bit through the city, regarded the stands on the market and watched the playing children who seemed to be happy about the summer like everyone else in the city. Everyone was on the streets. Happy and enjoying the rare sunshine. It made me smile as I walked on and approached a carriage finally. Its driver was watering the horses.  
"Excuse me, but are you free?"  
The man smiled at me friendly and nodded. "Of course, Milady. Where are you heading to?"  
"To the Newgate prison."


	28. Chapter 28

_**Thanks again for your reviews, favs and follows. I really appreciate them. ;)**_

* * *

 **The pit**

In confusion the coachman had asked me several times if I actually wanted to be brought to the Newgate prison. Understandably he just couldn´t imagine why a lady wanted to go to this place and as I had left the carriage, paid the friendly man and looked after his wagon long ago, I shortly asked myself if I had made the right decision. In front of me towered the impervious walls of the prison on which scattered redcoats patrolled. This wasn´t a pleasant place and never in my life I could have imagined to come nearer as necessary to it one day. But now I was here and I wouldn´t shy away.

With a few hand movements, I twitched at my neckline, rolled the thin fabric up, Lander had made it smaller with and in doing so, I restored its old, more slinky form.  
 _What a woman has to do in these days..._  
I sighed deeply before I opened my parasol, put it over my shoulder and approached the main gate of the prison with slow, deliberate steps. It was several metres wide and high but a little door was integrated in it, on which I knocked now. I had no idea how you normally entered a prison if you were no prisoner. At least visitors weren´t welcome. But it seemed like I had to test it.

Tensed I waited before I heard something clatter behind the door and a small hold in the wood was opened. Through it a guard looked at me, first angry but then curious. It was obvious that women were rarely standing in front of these gates, especially without company.  
"Miss? Can I help you?"  
I smiled my brightest smile and nodded. "I hope it. You know, it´s a bit difficult..." I bit onto my lower lip and began, apparently unpleasantly moved, to play with the handle of my parasol. "I would like to see the prisoner who´s charged with the murder of Judge Pellmore."  
The eyes of the man widened and even though I could only see them, he seemed to be frowning. "I´m sorry, Miss. But we can´t let everyone in and to the prisoners. Especially not to such a murderer."  
I made a step to the door, put a hand onto the wood and looked into his eyes with a plangent gaze.  
"Do you know Richard Jarvis?"  
"Yes...of course..." His eyes widened. "You´re his niece? I think that I have seen you before in his house. You need to know..." He glanced over his shoulder, as if he wanted to make sure that no one except of me was listening. "I belong to the order, too. Not a high rank but...well...the high gentlemen are relying on me."

He actually seemed to be feeling quite important with that information and I liked to play his game, too. My eyes widened, happily surprised and I took another step towards the door.  
"Oh, so I came to the right man then. I know that you´re fulfilling an important task in keeping criminals away from our beautiful city. That´s incredibly brave of you."  
Oh yes, my words seemed to please him. A sparkle appeared in his eyes but I became a bit more serious now. "But I hope that someone like you could help me because of that. You should know that this...monster had killed my so beloved uncle. The last piece of family I had."  
I lowered my eyes as if I had to fight against the tears. Suddenly the man seemed to be unpleasantly moved. "That´s...I´m sorry for you, Miss. It must have been terrible for you."  
I nodded, quietly sobbing and kept my gaze lowered. "I´m still not completely over this loss and I hoped that...that it could help if I would look into this man´s face. If I can see that he got what he deserves."  
"Well, I do understand, Miss. But unfortunately I can´t..."  
"Please!" I raised my head and looked at him imploringly now. There were even tears shimmering in my eyes and I nearly admired myself for that. When had I started to be such an actress?  
"Please, I´m begging you. I need it for my peace of mind. Nobody must learn about it. Lead me to him and I will leave immediately again."

I blinked the tears away and gave him a smile again now while I started to play with my necklace. "You would be certain of my gratitude."  
I saw how his eyes widened for a moment and then, through the small hold, led by my hand on my neck, they peered down to my neckline. I heard him swallowing and he actually seemed to be rattled. Then he glanced, like he did before, over his shoulder and winked at me. He closed the hold and while I heard him working at the locks, I squinched up my face. A few days ago I had been complaining about being dressed like a prostitute and now I was offering myself like one.  
 _Lord, please don´t let it be for nothing._

When the door opened, I had put on my bright smile again and the guard waved me in. He also wore a red uniform like his comrades, was around my age. Small, gaunt, with a from pimple-scars branded face. He was not quite handsome and I felt almost sorry for him but I wished that I could slap him as he looked me over with an obvious lustful gaze. I hoped imploringly that there was no woman who had to endure this creep by her side.  
"We really have to hurry", he said now and pushed me, a hand on my hip, over the courtyard towards the main entrance. "At the moment it´s change of guards. That´s why the posts are not manned. So we can easily go past them. I wouldn´t like to explain why I let a lady inside."  
 _Because you´re debauchee. That´s why._  
"I thank you. I really don´t want to trouble someone." My smile was still bright and he seemed to be satisfied with himself when he saw it.  
"Don´t worry about it, Miss. It´s my pleasure to help."

He led me into the main building and through several corridors. Everything was cold, completely bald and I shivered inwardly with the noises. The hollow sounding of metal bars someone beat against. Shouts of different men´s voices, the whistles of prisoners when we went past their cells and detached cries of pain. I imagined the sound of hell being like that. But I tried to suppress my discomfort, memorised every hallway, every peculiarity we passed. Surprisingly we actually me nobody and if there were steps on the hallway anyway, my companion indicated to me in time to hide in a niche until the danger to be detected was over.

The guard really made no pretence of how he was imagining my gratitude for his help. Again and again I felt his hand on my hip and as I once almost took the wrong branch-off, he grabbed my arm and his hand grazed my breast in this action, like it had been accidentally. I just wanted to beat him or kick him where it hurt the most but I pulled myself together. I kept smiling, laughed about his more than bad jokes and thought of that I did all of that to help Connor and goddamn, he had to wrap up well if it wasn´t worth it.  
But when the man finally led me down a broad stairway, I began to have an uneasy feeling and I stopped at the landing. "It´s going down there?", I asked sceptically and got a comforting smile.  
"We´re calling it "the pit". It´s where the criminals, who have to expect the worst punishment, are. Solitary confinement, Darkness, no short releases and what else the custodial judges come up with."  
Shortly a filthy grin crinkled his lips which made me shiver. I didn´t want to know what was hiding behind this last part of the sentence. But whether I liked it or not, I had to follow him.

We went downstairs into the darkness and now I really began to feel chilly. The corridor was long, only enlightened by some torches and the lattice doors of the cells shimmered bluntly in the faint light. The guard went to a wall, took a big bunch of keys from there and unlocked the lattice door, which was leading to the corridor.  
"You´re just keeping the keys here?"  
He shrugged his shoulders. "Actually we aren´t allowed to, because of the safety. But what the director doesn´t know..." Grinning he winked at me. "To ask for the right keys everywhere is exhausting in the long run."  
He indicated to me to go on and with my heart beating wildly I walked into the corridor. The silence here was interrupted by plaint and quiet whimper from time to time and I felt how it made my hair stand on end as I thought of what the prisoners had to suffer here. This wasn´t a place where you should stay for long.

The guard led me through the corridor and the whole time I had to make me not to have a look into the cells and to the figures inside of them. They were hardly visible in the twilight but I could see that they were either cowering in a corner or curled up on the shabby mattresses. I almost believed that this terrible corridor would never come to an end but then my companion stopped in front of one of the cells and pointed into it.  
"There he is and as you can see: He can´t get anywhere."  
I felt how my pulse quickened again. I was afraid of what was expecting me with a look into the cell. What they probably had done to Connor. Slowly I stepped next to guard, looked into the cell and it tore my heart into pieces.

There stood...or better to say, hanged Connor, the arms tied up over his head and pulled up with a chain. His knees had already buckled and so he hanged with his whole weight on his arms, the head sunken onto his bare chest, because he wore nothing more than his linen-trousers. His body trembled from time to time and I myself had to pull myself together convulsively to keep a straight face. But I winced as a loud clash sounded directly beside my ear.  
"Hey, sweetheart. Wake up, you have a visitor."  
The guard had dashed the bunch of keys against the metal bars and looked to Connor with a nasty grin. Connor just lifted his head slowly. In the twilight and from my position I could barely see his face, but I felt that he was looking at me, before his head sank back to his chest.

"I hope that I could reassure you. This savage won´t harm anyone again."  
The guard smiled at me and had laid a hand on my back again. He couldn´t guess how much I wanted to scratch his eyes out. How much he grossed me. But I had to swallow all of that and nod.  
"Thank you", I said and my hand moved to my ear, which was directed to him, as if I wanted to play with my jewellery there. But I faltered and opened my eyes wide.  
"Oh no!" I took my hand down and in hectic I looked to the ground.  
"What´s wrong?"  
"I think I´ve lost my earring somewhere. It must be here, I had it just now."  
The gentleman started to have a look around the ground, too. Completely eager to help me. But as soon as he had turned away from me, I grabbed the handle of my parasol tightly and struck it against his temple. I put all my strength into this strike so that the wood of the parasol uttered a snap, but the poor man really slumped down dizzily.

Surprised myself, that I had been able to knock him out, I tipped him shortly and as he moved a bit, I hit him again. This time he remained motionless and I squinched up my face.  
"Excuse me, but next time you shouldn´t simply have a look on a lady´s neckline. So you could have noticed that I´m not wearing any earrings."  
I was a bit sorry for him, how he was laying there unconscious, but I couldn´t deny that I felt satisfaction. Nevertheless I checked with shaking hands, if he was still alive. I hadn´t wanted to kill him but only knock him out. But he was alive and I sighed in relief before I took the bunch of keys out of his droopy hand and hectically I started to test one key after another on the lock of the door.

I barely could grab the keys, so strong was the tremble of my hands. I was totally tensed and also in panic. Not only because I could be detected but also because of Connor´s condition.  
When the lock gave a clicking noise at last, I sent up a quick prayer before I pushed the door open and approached Connor with hurried steps. Carefully I laid my hands around his face and lifted his head. "Connor? Can you hear me?"  
My voice was shaking and I wasn´t even sure if the half native was conscious. Only his breath, which was heavy and intermittent, proofed that there was still rudimentary life inside of him.  
"Connor?"  
No reaction and I felt how the tears were rising into my eyes. Now that I stood in front of him, the whole extent of his condition became aware to me.

His face was beaten black and blue. He was bleeding from a wound on his temple and lip and his left eye was totally swollen. His torso was also covered with bruises but worst of all were the bleeding wounds on his back. It looked like they had struck at him with a whip.  
"What have they done to you?", I whispered and a tear ran down my cheek while I tried to wake Connor with gentle pats against his harmed cheeks. I barely dared to touch him. I didn´t want to cause him even more pain and furthermore I was afraid of the unnatural heat which came from his body. It was cold down here but when I touched Connor´s forehead, I felt that it was almost burning.  
 _He has fever._  
I bit my lower lip and started another try to get Connor back into consciousness. I needed to bring him out of here even though I had no idea how I should do that. Surely he wasn´t able to walk.

"Connor, please! Do you hear me?"  
No reaction.  
"Connor?"  
Still nothing.  
"Ratonhnhaké:ton!"  
My tongue stumbled over the name but my voice was even more energetic as I even began to shake his shoulders so that the chains over his head started to rattle. But I hesitated when I heard a murmur. His voice was weak and quiet, his head was lowered again. But he had said something!  
"What?" Again I took his face between my hands and as I lifted it, I saw that he had opened his unscathed eye.  
"You are...emphasizing it...wrong."  
I frowned and opened my mouth in confusion to say something, as he kept talking.  
"My...name. Ratonhnhaké:ton. You are emphasizing it...entirely wrong."  
First my answer was a blunt blink before I shook my head with a light smirk. "If that´s your only concern..."

I picked up the bunch of keys, I had dropped before and started the game with the search for the right key again but now I tried to open the chains around Connor´s wrists. He uttered a groan as I moved his arms a bit too much with my efforts and I bit my lower lip. He must be under torturous pain and this unnatural position...I began to develop an enormous anger about Gardner and his men. Obviously they had enjoyed it to torture Connor and to humiliate him. It hadn´t been enough that they had caught him.  
A snap sounded when I found the right key for the chains and an ice cold scare ran through me, as Connor sank with his knees to the ground as soon as his arms were free. Just in time I could kneel and catch him, before he could hit the ground with his face first.  
"Connor?"

Seeing him so weak filled me with panic and I kept holding him as he propped himself up on his trembling arms and with that he tried to take his weight from my arms. But a single tremble seized his body before he collapsed again. I put his arm over my shoulder and heaved him into a kneeling position at least. He hadn´t the strength to sit up alone. Connors breath was still shallow and irregular but he turned his head and looked at me.  
"You should not...be here", he uttered between clenched teeth and even though his voice was weak, I could hear clearly this tone he always used if something wasn´t convenient for him. Reproachful, firm.  
"But I am. Be annoyed later. We need to bring you out of here and to a doctor." I laid an arm around him, whereupon I was careful not to touch the wounds on his back and tried to lift myself on my feet with him. I did it, but now Connor´s whole weight laid upon my shoulders and I gasped as my knees started shaking.  
"Let...me...", growled Connor and his weight was suddenly taken from my shoulders as he freed himself from my grasp.

He stood staggeringly, his face squinched up in pain but he tried to make a step forward. His legs buckled and with a groan he fell to the ground again. This time I couldn´t have hold him and appalled I sank down to my knees next to him. He was laying on his belly, breathing heavily and obviously struggling for his consciousness. His unscathed eye opened and closed again and again.  
"Connor." I grabbed his shoulders and managed it to pull him up but he hit at my hands and appalled I let him go again.  
"Leave!", he snapped at me and sank with his shoulder against the stone wall next to him. "Leave, before somebody sees you here."  
I recoiled as if he had beaten me and stared at him. His whole body was trembling, his face was mask of pain and anger. He appeared like a wounded animal which didn´t let anybody come nearer. But if he thought that he could impress me with that, he was wrong.

I wouldn´t ignore his condition and turn my back on him. Not after I had come so far. Not after I had found him.  
"I won´t leave you alone here", I said slowly and ignored the shake of the head of the wounded assassin. "Do you know actually, what I have taken on myself just to come here." I pointed to the on the ground laying guard and a bitter smile crimped my lips. "I have done myself up like a prostitute, was grabbed by him and on top of everything, I broke my beautiful parasol. Don´t think that I would leave you here after all these sacrifices."  
Connor turned his head towards me so that he could look at me with his unscathed eye. I couldn´t read what was in his gaze but I moved a bit closer to him.  
"I admit, I don´t know how we can get you out of here but...I won´t leave you alone." My voice was quiet and there was a tremble in it again but I hoped that Connor would see how serious I was about it. He was still looking at me and seemed to be struggling with himself. But even if he should contradict me, he wouldn´t make me leave this cell without him. Shortly he opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something but then his look turned to a spot behind me and with a jerky movement he unsuccessfully tried to straighten up.

Confused I looked at him as I was suddenly grabbed at my arm and torn up. Appalled I cried out and as I was ruggedly pressed against the iron bars, I looked directly into a pair of ice blue eyes.  
"I must have been mistaken when I said that you´re a sensible girl." Gardner´s voice was nothing more than a growl and my chest was narrowed by panic. I hadn´t heard him coming. Neither him, nor the two men who entered the cell behind him and tore Connor up. Each one of them held one of his arms and the assassin tried with might and main to defend himself. Unsuccessfully.  
"Let her go. She has nothing to do with it."  
Gardner gave the assassin a sneering look over his shoulder before he turned to me again, my arm in a painful, firm grip.

"I see it different. I thought my message to you had reached its aim. I thought you were smart but now I have to see that you´re sneaking in here and try to free this savage. Mind you, a ridiculous try and on top of that...treason." With his last word he let my arm go, just to put his hand around my neck and press my head against the iron bars. I gasped in scare and a choking noise escaped my throat as I couldn´t take a proper breath. Breathing shallowly and in panic I looked into Gardner´s face, which was lined with grim satisfaction in face of my fear.  
"I would have never thought that I could ever be that disappointed about you. I thought that I would be your friend. I thought that you were at least as affectionate to me as I am to you. But instead..." His grab became firmer. "You´re colluding with this bastard. What have I done to deserve this, Lillian?"  
He cocked his head, a bitter smile on his face. He actually seemed to be waiting for an answer but I grasped his hand and tried to loosen the grab of his fingers before I said: "The only bastard I´m seeing here, is you."

Gardner´s eyes narrowed but he laughed quietly before he let my neck loose. In an instant I gasped for breath, coughed and put my hand to my neck while Gardner turned, with a grim look, halfway to Connor, who tried to stay afoot, his lips pinched.  
"Did you hear that?", Gardner asked quietly, almost growling. "How she defended you? Did you..." His voice rose to a roar and he gestured wildly towards his men. "...hear how this false woman has offended me in front of this bastard?"  
He turned to me again and before I could notice it, he had slapped me into the face.

I fell back against the iron bars and sank to my knees, my eyes widened with scare and my hand pressed against my cheek. Something wet and warm ran slowly against my fingers and down my cheek. I winced as I felt a small, bleeding wound underneath my eye. Gardner had hit me so hard that his ring had torn my skin open. The templar stood in front of me, totally calm again, and looked down at me disapprovingly. As if I was nothing more than an insect at his feet.  
"I did hope that it won´t come to that. But obviously you don´t want it different. If you really wish to be here, then..." He made a wide gesture towards the cell. "...I welcome you in your temporary home. It will be my pleasure and pain at the same time, to see you hang next to this bastard."

He turned to Connor and cocked his head while he stepped to the half native, who stared at him with a hateful expression.  
"Maybe it´s even good, that she´s here. Maybe you´re now willing to tell me what I want to know."  
"Keep her out of it."  
Gardner laughed quietly. "Oh, it´s too late for that. But just think about it. If you stick to your statement that you don´t know where it is, she will be the one who has to suffer instead of you. So...think about it."  
Without deigning to look at Connor or me again, Gardner left the cell and signed to his men. One of them grinned, beat Connor with his fist into the stomach so that he writhed in pain and the other one pushed him carelessly against the wall. Then they sneering left the cell, locked the door behind them and dragged their unconscious comrade with them before they disappeared.

Hastily I crawled to Connor, who leaned gasping and with a distorted expression against the wall.  
"Connor", I said quietly and laid my hands on his forearms. Just slowly he raised his head and looked at me with glassy eyes.  
"You are...bleeding", he murmured before his head sank against the wall. With shaking hands I embraced his face, tried to wake him but he had already lost his consciousness. I didn´t care about what Gardner had threatened. I didn´t care that I was now locked-in here, too. My only concern was about Connor, whose body was consistently trembling. Even his lips struck together, but his skin was still heating.  
"That´s not good", I murmured, kneeled behind Connor and pulled him gently into a laying position, bed his head on my lap and took care that his wounded back touched the ground as little as possible. But I was helpless anyway. I couldn´t do something to help him, to ease the pain or to reduce the fever.  
"I´m sorry", I whispered and the tears started to run down my cheeks. I had wanted to help him but instead, I had made everything even worse.


	29. Chapter 29

**Escape**

It felt like hours were passing in which I just sat there and stared silently into the darkness. Connor didn´t move an inch, apart from the constant tremble of his body. Neither when I stood up shortly to feel for my broken parasol, which was still lying at the cell´s door. I ripped some long strips of fabric off the wooden frame, returned to Connor, bedded his head on my lap again and pressed the stripe carefully against the wound on his head, which was still bleeding slightly. I couldn´t help him but I had the feeling that this was the least I could do for him. I didn´t dare to leave him out of my sight anyway and from time to time I looked into his face, which was an image of pain, even in his unconscious condition. He was suffering and I suffered with him.

Consistently I gently stroke with my fingertips over his heating forehead and listened intensively for every breath he took. But it didn´t happen only once that Connor suddenly breathed so shallowly, that I had to hold my ear near his lips to make sure that he was still alive. Every second of fear, in which I thought that he was dead, felt like an eternity and my only wish was to find a way out of here. But this was a naive hope. We were locked in here, deep under the Newgate prison, surrounded by enemies. Connor wasn´t able to move and I even wasn´t able to defend myself in case of need, much less us both.

A sigh escaped my lips and I leaned my head against the cold wall behind me. I didn´t know what I had thought when I came here on my own. Had I actually thought that I just could leave this place with Connor? Even if he wouldn´t be in this condition, this would have been quite improbable.  
 _A sensible girl._  
I snorted scornfully. This sense had get me nowhere in my life so far but nothing good came out of stupidity either. I should have insisted that the assassins accompanied me. I should have talked at them more and not accepted their rejection. I understood their concern but how could they live with the fact, that they had turned their backs on one of their own? I bent my head and looked down to Connor.  
 _How could I have lived with it?_

The sound of heavy steps on the corridor made me startle and I directed my look stiffly to the cell´s door while my heart was rushing with fear. Did they come back?  
A man appeared in front of our cell and I pinched my lips as I actually recognized him as one of Gardner´s men. His face remained in the shadows but he had put a hand on the door and turned his head towards us.  
"Oh, how cute." His voice oozed with sneer. "Someone seems to have a heart for wild animals. The local ones have become boring, haven´t they?"  
I winced as I heard a key clicking in the lock and watched how the man slowly entered the cell and stopped in front of us with his head cocked. As if I wanted to make sure that he couldn´t pull him away from me, I put an arm over Connor´s shoulder and looked at the man, whose face was half illuminated by the torches in the corridor. He bore a grubby smile and examined me unashamedly. His look made me shiver with fear but I forced myself into looking at him anyway. I didn´t want him to see how afraid I was. His grin became wider.  
"I´m sorry, if I interrupted your dear togetherness but since the boss isn´t here at the moment, I thought that the two of us could spend some time together."  
My core being tightened with these words and my instinct cried for escape. But I kept sitting like I was frozen and pulled Connor closer to me unknowingly.  
"I´m not interested", I hissed but the man´s grin just became even more evil with that. Like a predator before the attack, he stood in front of me and before I could react, he had leaned forward, grabbed my arm and torn me up. I just heard how Connor´s torso hit the ground with a muffled noise but when I wanted to turn around, the strong hand of the man set under my chin and forced me violently into looking at him.  
"It´s not that I had asked you, sweetheart."  
His of alcohol reeking breath met me and I had to suppress the urge to gag. Desperate I tried to push him away, to kick him, to beat him, but he grabbed my wrist and turned my arm behind my back. I gasped and tears rushed into my eyes while he roughly pushed me with my back against the opposite wall.

With his free hand he stroked over my cheek, down to my neck and to my décolleté, where his fingertips followed the hem of my neckline.  
"This dress suits you perfectly, sweetheart. It looks great. Did you make yourself look pretty for the savage only or can I benefit from it, too?"  
Now his fingertips traced the contours of my breast and I had to bit my lower lip to suppress a whimper while he twisted my arm behind my back even more. Shortly my tormentor glanced over his shoulder, where Connor laid on the ground motionlessly.  
"Well, doesn´t seem to be one of the intent kind, isn´t he? He could certainly learn something, though." He laughed hollowly and turned to me again. His breath met my face again and his reddened eyes noticed the fear on my face with satisfaction.  
"Don´t look like that, sweetheart. I will be gentle, promised."  
He grinned widely and pushed me with his torso a bit closer to the wall while he buried his nose in my neck. I turned my head away from him as far as I could and closed my eyes, my lips pinched, while I felt how his hand moved along my hip. His breath against my skin, his hand on my body, all of that caused one single feeling of nausea and panic. But I wasn´t able move. I stood like I was frozen, with the bitter hope that it would be over quickly.

His hand slit to the laces of my bodice but he didn´t open them. I felt how he suddenly desisted from me and as I heard a rasping breath, I appalled opened my eyes. Behind the disgusting man stood Connor, his face distorted with rage and he had twined the chain, which still had hung from the ceiling, around the man´s neck. He tightened it with all his strength while his victim breathed stertorously and tried to free himself from this grip.  
"You will not touch her again", growled Connor and I saw how the veins on his forehead pulsed. He was beside himself with anger. "Not as long as I can prevent it."  
The man´s colouring slowly changed from bright red to bluish purple while I was still paralysed and watched everything with wide eyes. Connor´s victim wriggled under his grip but Connor´s exertion was also visible. Again and again I saw how he screwed up his unscathed eye, as if he had to concentrate on staying conscious. But one of these weak moments finally became his undoing.

Just as the creep collapsed a bit under the grip and Connor loosened it, his opponent shoved his elbow into his ribs. Connor writhed, let the chain loose and coughing heavily, the man attacked him. He wrestled Connor to the ground, enclosed his neck with his hands and pressed it shut.  
"How does that feel, you rat?", he growled while Connor tried to beat him. Only when the half native turned his head towards me and looked at me, life came back to my body. With a yell of rage I attacked the guy from behind, clung to his neck with my arms and tried to pull him away from Connor. He reacted by reaching with his hand behind him, grabbing my hair and tearing me off his back.

I cried out as the scorching ran through my scalp and fell ruggedly on the ground. I just wanted to stand up and attack him again, as I suddenly was grabbed at my shoulder and pulled back from the other side. A hand shot past me and the hidden blade on it sank into the surprised man´s side. With wide eyes he stared at the person who had attacked him before he collapsed and lay motionless. I was paralysed with shock and it took a while until I noticed that someone had grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me slightly.  
"Missy, move! We have to get away from here."  
I raised my eyes and looked into the face of Pierce, the female assassin. Fresh blood stuck on her bracer and behind her I saw Lester appearing, too.  
"Get her out of here. I´m going to take care of Connor."  
 _Connor!_

My gaze slit to the half native who laid on the ground, struggling for breath. I wanted to crawl towards him but Pierce held me back and helped me on my feet.  
"We need to hurry. Come on", she growled and dragged me to the cell´s door and into the corridor. I stumbled after her, nearly dazed, while she determined led me upstairs, out of the pit and through the prison´s corridors.  
"Where are the guards?", I asked.  
"We´ve killed the ones who crossed our path. The others hopefully have noticed nothing and won´t anyway."  
Pierce opened a door which was obviously a back entrance to the prison. She dragged me over a plastered courtyard and after the darkness of the pit, I didn´t notice in an instant that it was night already. The assassin led me to a horse, helped me to mount it and got on the saddle in front of me. Tensed she looked back to the door and sighed with relief as Lester and another assassin came out with Connor. His head had sunken back to his chest again and his bare feet nearly slit over the ground while he was supported by the two men. I only saw how Lester gave a sign to Pierce, before the young woman spurred the horse and we left this terrible place at full gallop.

* * *

Our way led us directly out of the town, into the hinterland and finally to the field, where the assassin´s hideout was located. As Pierce led me to the room with the round table, I could just see with a look over my shoulder how the assassin, who had carried Connor out of the prison together with Lester, disappeared with Connor in one of the other corridors.  
"Don´t worry. A doctor is going to take care of him now", said Pierce, who seemed to have noticed my gaze. She didn´t wear her hood anymore and her face was one single grim expression. Like during our first meeting, I hadn´t the feeling that the young woman liked me at all. But I didn´t care at the moment.

I felt tired, spent and couldn´t think of something different than Connors condition anyway. I completely ignored, that a man had almost raped me. My mind refused to be reminded of that and that was good at the moment. As we reached the room, I unsolicited took a seat at the table, propped my arms on the tabletop and buried my face into my hands. Pierce´s steps echoed through the vault as she crossed it. Then was a quiet rattle to be heard for a time, until Pierce approached me and put something on the table in front of me. When I took my hands from my face, I saw that it was a tray and the assassin filled a wine-coloured liquid into a glass for me.  
"Drink", she said shortly and slipped the glass into my hand while she sat down next to me. The liquid was actually wine and as I put the glass to my lips, a sweet smell rose into my nose. I had a few sips while Pierce took some rags and clear alcohol from the tray.  
"Let me have a look at this." She pointed to the wound under my eye which I had almost forgotten already, although it had made itself felt with a constant throb. But at least it wasn´t bleeding anymore. I put the glass of wine aside and turned my face towards the assassin who pressed an in alcohol drenched rag against the wound. I gasped sharply as a burning pain flared up with the touch but I stayed motionless and clenched my teeth while Pierce cleaned the wound.  
"I don´t think that it has to be stitched", she said as she was finished and put the utensils aside again. She accepted my gratitude with a silent nod before she gave herself a glass of wine and sat down next to me again.  
"Did this guy beat you?"  
I shook my head. "Gardner."  
Pierce uttered a scornful snort and took a deep sip of the wine. "That´s just like these bastards to beat defenceless women."  
"Obviously you´re the defensive kind of woman."  
"Because I don´t want to put up with everything." She looked at me sneeringly from the side. "I didn´t feel like being shoved around by some snobs who think that they know what´s the right thing for me."  
With pinched lips I looked down at the glass in my hand and swivelled the fluid inside of it. I already knew from our last meeting that Pierce didn´t think highly of me and I guessed that this wasn´t only because of me but of the society I had grown up in. She was dark skinned. She could have been a slave like Anya, before she had come to the brotherhood. I wouldn´t ask her about it but I wouldn´t comment on her sideswipe either. I wasn´t up for justifying myself and luckily the assassin didn´t seem like she wanted to amplify this topic, too.

I emptied my wine, put the glass on the table and glanced anxiously to the door.  
"Where is Lester? He didn´t come back with us."  
Pierce simply stared down at the glass in her hand and her expression became hardened as she answered. "He had to wait for the others."  
"The others?"  
"We have brought not only Connor and you out of there. Some of us got to another part of the prison to free Connor´s friends."  
My eyes widened with surprise. Connor´s friends? That meant that they were still alive and had been in town the whole time?  
"But how did you know that they had been there? That we had been there?"  
Pierce´s corners of the mouth rose with sneer and she looked at me, her head cocked.  
"Maybe we are barely represented in town but that doesn´t mean that we don´t have our own sources."  
"Hannah Lokshire?"  
"Among others."  
So the assassins weren´t as powerless as they pretended to be. But why hadn´t they helped Connor then? If they had known the whereabouts of Connor´s friends, they could have told him already.

I bit my lower lip to stop me from asking. Certainly Pierce wouldn´t answer me anyway and maybe I should be glad that they had helped now. Without them we would be still sitting in the pit.  
When the door to the assembly room opened, Pierces leaped up to her feet and looked tensed to Lester and Holden, who were entering. "Has everything gone well?"  
Lester nodded slowly and gave me a faint smile.  
"We were almost busted as we wanted to leave but we could prevent the worst."  
"So, everyone is alright?" Pierce gave a sigh of relief when Lester nodded and I closed my eyes, too. It would have been a disaster if something had happened to one of the assassin during our rescue because their fears would have come true then.  
"What about Connor´s friends?"  
"They are alright and are brought to their rooms at this moment, where they can recover from their strains." He approached me and looked me over. "Maybe you should take rest, too. We have enough rooms down here and Janet will lead you to one of them."  
He put a hand to my shoulder as he saw, how I frowned with the thought to go to sleep now. My body was crying for relaxation but my mind was still working at full stretch, to put all these happenings in order and furthermore I was still worrying about Connor.  
"It´s the middle of the night. You can still think about everything tomorrow morning."  
I looked into Lester´s smiling face and nodded slowly. He was right but suddenly something else came to my mind and my eyes widened with fright.  
"Theresa! My mentor, Theresa Bonham. If the templar learn about our escape, she might be the first one they go to visit."  
Lester frowned and glanced to the other assassins before he said: "We will take care of her. Don´t worry. Janet, would you bring her to a room?"  
Pierce nodded grimly and I thanked the two men in the room before I followed her.

* * *

This night I didn´t manage to rest. Though I fell asleep quickly, my dreams were dark and characterized by fear. Over and over again I saw Gardner in front of me, felt his grip around my throat. I sat next to Connor on the cell´s ground and worried about every breath he took and several times I woke up because I believed to feel greedy hands on my body. I didn´t know how late it was or how long I had slept when I stood up and got dressed. I squinched up my face as I wore the red dress again for which I had shown so many conflicting feelings. I had found it beautiful but felt like a prostitute at the same time I had put it on to wrap the guard at the prison´s gate around my finger. The last time a man had paid compliments on this piece of fabric, which I hadn´t wanted to hear in this particular situation. I didn´t want to wear it again but at the moment I had no other choice. I wasn´t at home where I easily could have taken another dress out of my cupboard. I was in the hideout of the assassins, several metres underground and also several miles away from my home, where I couldn´t go back to in the near future. As soon as Gardner learned about our escape he would search for us and he would be everything else than merciful, when he found us.  
 _As if he ever is._

As I left the room, which had been left to me, I looked around in the corridor in front of me with confusion at first. I hadn´t paid attention to the way here yesterday and given to the reigning silence, nobody I could ask was around. Should I just walk on and get lost or should I go back into my room and wait for someone to pick me up?  
With a determined expression I decided to do the first. I couldn´t stand this silent and small room any longer and I just hoped that I would met someone sooner or later. But that didn´t happen for a while. Secretly I wondered where all the assassins were, who were living down here. All in all I had only seen five of them but I doubted that they were the only ones.  
 _Or it´s still in the middle of the night and everybody is sleeping._

I passed several doors but there was no sound behind them. Gradually I started to feel like I was totally alone down here. Alone underground and that was no pleasant thought. Also that there were no windows anywhere, which could have granted a view outside, was unusual and frightened me a bit. There was nothing I could be geared to. But the fear that I could get lost in these vaults abated as I finally heard voices and they were familiar. Especially the angered voice of a woman was standing out and I knew in an instant, who she was. I quickened my steps, followed the voices and stopped relieved as I walked into a corridor and saw four persons standing there. Lester, Pierce and...  
"Theresa! Maria!" Beaming with joy I approached my mentor and the maid, who turned towards me with the sound of my voice. Maria seemed to be relieved to see me while Theresa put her hands on her hips as I stopped in front of her and touched her at her shoulder.  
"Child, I´m glad that you´re alright but I´m shocked that you send hood-bearers into my house who drag me out of there."  
"We dragged nobody out of nowhere."  
I ignored Pierce´s growl and just gave her and the grandmaster a grateful smile before I turned my attention to the old lady again. "I was just worried that Gardner could harm you or the others when he learns about our escape. Where are Flora and the others anyway?"  
Theresa only snorted scornfully. "Ran for it as they heard that it´s going to be precarious. Only Maria stayed."  
I looked at the girl whose eyes were directed to the floor, her cheeks blushed. Since I knew her she had always been a faithful soul and I gave her a smile when she looked up shortly. Theresa´s hand laid down on my arm now and the gaze of my mentor became more leniently as I put my hand over hers.  
"I´m really glad that you´re alright. Even though I can´t approve that you were so stupid. It could have happened who knows what."  
I gave a crooked smile, knowing that she couldn´t see it anyway. I knew that I had acted stupidly but I regretted nothing. There had been no other option for me to help Connor.

With the thought of him, my expression darkened a bit and I looked to Lester, who had attended our reunion silently. The assassin had crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the wall while Pierces was standing next to him and pattered impatiently with her foot on the ground.  
"How are Connor and the others?"  
Lester raised his eyes and cocked his head slightly while he pointed down the corridor. "Connor´s friends are in the assembly room. They wished to discuss their homeward journey alone. They want to wait until Connor is better and then they want to set sail as soon as possible. At the moment, one of our doctors is with Connor. He is still unconscious but there is nothing more I could tell you." He smiled apologetically and I nodded. Connor was badly wounded. I hadn´t expected anything else as that he is still not better even though I was almost choked with worry. But I also thought of his friends. So they were planning their journey home. Of course. They were free, it was over. They could go home finally and so could Connor, who had kept his promise and could bring them home as soon as he was better. Maybe it hadn´t gone off like he had expected it but they were free and only that was important.  
 _And as soon as they are gone, nobody can start trouble again. They are safe in America._  
A hand was laid on mine and I looked into Theresa´s face, on which a faint smile had appeared.  
"I suggest you go asking after the boy´s condition. Maria and I get along with the hood-bearers on our own."  
A saucy "Pah!" from Pierce, which received no further attention again.  
I gave a questioning look to Lester who simply nodded before I squeezed Theresa´s hand and let Lester describe me the way to Connor´s room. It wasn´t far, down the corridor. I just had to turn twice before I stood in front of a dark, wooden door which looked like every other door here.

I knocked timidly and entered as an unfamiliar voice of a man allowed it. The small room was filled with the heavy smell of different herbs and I blinked because my eyes started to water with all these smells. Hesitantly I entered, closed the door behind me and faced an assassin with a white bushy beard who stood next to the bed and looked at me with friendly eyes.  
"You must be Miss Lillian", he detected with a deep, friendly voice and I nodded while my gaze slit to the bed in which Connor was lying. His eyes closed, the mouth slightly opened, he squinched up his face from time to time as if he was still in pain. His torso was almost completely wrapped in white bandages and rose and fell with every irregular breath. He obviously wasn´t better but at least he was treated now.  
Of course the old assassin had noticed my gaze and as I looked at him, he made me feel less worried with his relaxed expression. "I´ve treated his wounds and as long as he remains lying, they will heal completely. His fever is high but he´s a strong young man. I´m sure that he will recover quickly if he gets the rest he needs."  
I nodded slightly and looked to Connor again, who had begun to move restlessly. "Is he asleep?", I asked quietly and the doctor followed my gaze.  
"I gave him a brew of herbs which should ease the pain and help him to sleep. But the fever is taking its toll, too." He looked me over shortly, took a step back then and pointed to an armchair, which was standing next to the bed. "You know, I´ve done everything I can and have to take care of some of my brothers. Would you mind to stay here and watch over him a bit?"  
He smiled at me and I wrung my hands a bit undetermined. "I thought he needed to rest?"  
"Well I hope that you´re not planning to keep him off sleeping." The old man chuckled and pointed to a jug and a bowl on the bedside table. "I cooked him a chamomile tea he should drink at the next opportunity. Furthermore, here are some rags and water with peppermint. It has a cooling effect on the skin and if you put it on his forehead, it´s going to make the fever a bit more bearable maybe. I would feel uncomfortable with the thought that he´s alone."  
He cocked his head and smiled at me, what made me sigh quietly. I was nobody who could handle illness. I was always feeling uncomfortable and helpless if someone in my environment was sick and bound to bed. Connor´s sight stabbed me in the heart but after I had felt so helpless in the cell, I now had the chance to help him a bit. So I nodded, what the doctor noticed with satisfaction, patted my shoulder in passing and then he had left the room.  
Slowly I approached the bed and sank down on the armchair. I grabbed one of the rags, dipped it in the peppermint water, wrung it out and put it carefully on Connor´s forehead. Taking care that it didn´t touch his stitched wounds on his temple. His skin was still heating and carefully I stroke back some sweaty strands of hair, which had fallen into his face. He moved slightly, writhed his head a few times before I gently stroke with the cooling rag over his forehead and cheeks and he calmed down a little.


	30. Chapter 30

_**Hello everyone ^^**_

 _ **If you want to know, what Connor is saying in the part without a note, you have to wait a bit. It´s going to be revealed later on.**_

* * *

 **True intentions**

The herbs, the doctor had given to Connor, displayed their desired soporific effect soon. The assassin relaxed, his breath became more consistent and his face became calmer, too. It was no longer a distorted mask and it became aware to me, that it was the first time since I knew him, that I saw Connor relaxed. I had always seen him restless. Always having an eye on his environment, prepared for every danger. That´s why it had hurt me to find him helpless in this cell. Chained up, mistreated and unable to move. Even now he was still helpless but I knew that he was getting better soon. I hoped it.

While he was asleep, I renewed the rag on his forehead from time to time because it was absorbing the heat of the fever too quickly. But at least the tremble had disappeared and even though I knew nothing about medicine, I hoped that it was a sign that the fever had fallen a bit. His wounds had been treated diligently and even the swelling around his eye had subsided a little in the meantime. The bronze-coloured skin was still covered with bruises though, but it didn´t looked as bad as it had done a few hours ago. But maybe I was just trying to talk myself into thinking that.  
I rarely left my seat, leaned back, almost sunken in the cushion to lean my head against the back rest. The herbs-fumes in the room slowly began to lull me to sleep and from time to time, I put my hand in front of my mouth to suppress a yawn. Maybe I should have stayed in my room and sleep. I envied Connor the drink he had gotten and almost considered to ask the doctor for something similar, if he should come back. Apart from the constant throb of my small wound in my face, I was in no pain but it was my mind which was in need for some rest.

Sighing quietly, I sank back in my seat and closed my eyes. I quickly sank into a dreamless semiconsciousness, of which I was abruptly torn out when I heard my name. I opened my eyes, blinked in confusion, looked to the door and realized not till then, that it had been Connor who had spoken. He was asleep but his face was squinched up, he threw himself back and forth, the hands clawed at the thin blanket. His lips formed words silently and only occasionally, I understood what he was saying. My name and that something shouldn´t happen. I rose from my seat, sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed Connor´s arms, whose muscles were twitching tensely.  
"Connor", I said calmly and stroke over his feverish cheek. "Connor, calm yourself. I´m here."  
At first, I didn´t know if he could hear me but suddenly the assassin opened his eyes wide, started up with his torso and fell back into the pillow, gasping and with a twisted expression. His breath was shallow and irregular and he blinked several times before his gaze found mine. A glassy gleam laid in his brown eyes, which were looking me over almost confused, as if he couldn´t understand my presence.  
"Lillian?" His voice was hoarse and weak and as he tried to sit up, he groaned with pain.  
"Don´t get up. You need to rest." I put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him gently back into the pillow. Connor closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, before he looked at me again.  
"I thought this guy...I thought, it is already too late."  
Shaking my head, I took the rag, which had slipped from his forehead and put it back into the bowl with peppermint water. A faint smile played about my lips, with which I hoped to reassure him.  
"You were dreaming. I´m fine. You helped me on time, nothing happened and for that, I´m grateful to you."

The assassin frowned and lifted his hand slowly to put it under my chin. With gentle pressure, he turned my head a bit sideward and his jaw tensed when his gaze fell upon the wound underneath my eye.  
"Gardner." He pronounced this word alone with such anger and hatred, that I shivered and remembered his expression when he had strangled Gardner´s helper with the iron chain.  
"I´m fine", I repeated, hoping to reassure him but Connor was still frowning.  
"That should not have happened", he said quietly and my heart stopped for a beat as he stroked gently, almost tenderly, with his fingertips over my cheek.  
"I was afraid when I suddenly saw you in front of the cell. I was afraid about what they could do to you and almost..." He faltered while he was still caressing my cheek. I couldn´t interpret his gaze but his touch and words were so unexpected, that the redness rose into my cheeks.  
"So:se raotsi:tsa." A faint smile crinkled his lips, as he spoke these for me unintelligible words. "So delicate and fragile."  
Now my eyebrows rose towards the sky. He began to become eerie to me and in secret, I had to remind myself that he was still in fever. Unpleasantly affected, I grabbed his hand, took it from my face and smirked a bit to cover my uneasiness.

"Well, I don´t think I am that delicate and fragile. I think the guard is going to have a real headache."  
Connor laughed quietly and squinched up his face, as this action obviously caused pain to him. Worried I looked at him but his gaze met mine and shortly he raised his corners of the mouth to a smile. "I already knew that you can strike well."  
For a split of a second I frowned but as I remembered the slap in the face, I had given to him, I maybe became even more red, before a saucy grin sneaked onto my face. "In both cases, it was well deserved but unfortunately my parasol is gone now."  
The half native smirked, but then a mournful expression appeared about his mouth again and he closed his eyes with a quiet groan. Worried I put a hand to his scorching hot cheek and bit my lower lip as I remembered the doctor´s words. "You need to rest."  
I stood up shortly and filled a cup with the chamomile tea, the doctor had left here. "Drink something from this", I said quietly and sat down on the edge of the bed again. I supported Connor with one arm, as he sat up and held the cup out to his lips with my free hand. He took some sips before he sank back into the pillows again with a quiet sigh. When he closed his eyes, I put the cup aside and wanted to stand up again, but Connor grabbed my hand and I looked into his eyes, whose expression was not interpretable to me.  
"Will you stay here?"  
"If you want me to stay."  
Connor smiled faintly and closed his eyes again. His hand was still holding mine and with a quiet voice he said: "Nía:wen." _[Thank you]_

* * *

It took nearly a week until Connor had almost recovered completely from the fever. During this time, I often sat in the armchair next to his bed, keeping watch over his sleep and speaking with him, when he was awake. Even though he wasn´t well, I often saw a smile flitting across his face and all in all he seemed to be a different person. He was always pleased when he saw, that I was there and even grabbed my hand from time to time, just holding it in his and said that he had to be sure that it wasn´t a feverish dream and that he wasn´t imprisoned in the pit. Suddenly I had the feeling, that I had a connection to him which I hadn´t believed to be possible because of his cold behaviour and I felt a great joy about it.

When Connor heard that his friends were well, his relief about it had been noticeable and they had also visited him several times at his sickbed, to inform themselves about his condition. Robert Faulkner, Norris and David Walston, known as Big Dave, were three completely different men, who had in their own way one thing in common: They felt a deep friendship and loyalty towards Connor, who returned this likewise.  
When I talked to them, they always spoke highly about the Captain, how Faulkner called the assassin und as I had done in the Davenport Homestead, I felt that they were like one family and supported each other. This seemed to be the reason why of all people, Norris and Dave had fallen into the hands of the templars.

One evening, Faulkner had become so drunk in a tavern in Boston, that he had gotten into a fight with a man, he had recognised as a templar. Faulkner had started to go on the rampage and even when his friend had intervened, he had kept on with cursing the man and so the three of them had been arrested as disturbers, just to end up in the hands of Gardner and his men. Because Faulkner hadn´t insisted on mentioning, that the templars would be going to be in for a surprise as soon as Connor would have taken care of them.

The completely remorseful first mate of the Aquila told all of this, as we sat in the assembly room, to speak about our further action. Connor was still searched for murder in London and they were looking for me, too. I actually made it into the London newspapers.  
 _ **Merchant´s daughter allies herself against her own fatherland**_ , this had been more or less the headline Hannah had reported on, when she had come to pick up Theresa and Maria.  
The stay down here had badgered the old lady not only with regard to her health, she had also always gotten into a fight with someone from the brotherhood. Also the assassins hadn´t been pleased with the presence of a templar, former or not and so it had been the right decision to accommodate her with an old friend of my family in Sussex, where the templars hopefully wouldn´t search her.  
Now were only Connor, his friends and me in the hideout and if Faulkner, Norris and Dave would have their way, Connor and they would leave it soon in the direction of America. But Connor wasn´t ready for that just yet.

He just had left his bed today and now sat at the round table, his arms propped on the tabletop, his fingertips laid to his lips and listening to Faulkner´s report about his arrest. When the old sailor had finished, Connor sighed deeply and began to knead his root of the nose, while Faulkner was sitting on his chair in front of his captain and looked at him apologetically.  
"What shall I say? The rum at the Green Dragon has always been the best. Not even Corrine and Olli are a match for it."  
"But you should have looked out for what you are saying."  
"I was drunk, I couldn´t control myself."  
Connor sighed again and leaned back on his chair, whereupon he winced shortly, as his wounded back touched the backrest.

Faulkner, a bit uncomfortable, scratched himself behind his ear and gave a short look to Norris and Dave, who were sitting there silently and returned his gaze.  
"I´m sorry, Captain that it had come so far. But who could have anticipated that they would bring us directly to the other end of the world and convict us as traitors above all. At least it had been only two broken chairs and..."  
"It was not about the chairs and it was neither about that they wanted to convict you as traitors. Gardner only wanted me to come here. He knew that I would sooner or later conceive that you are here. He wouldn´t have harmed you, as long as he hasn´t learned what he wants to know from me."  
The general attention within this room was lying on Connor now, who stared at the tabletop with a bitter expression and followed the wood´s texture with his fingertips.

"What do you mean with it? Theresa said, Gardner wanted to make an example of them. That everyone, who supports the brotherhood, is a dead man but he couldn´t have obtained a conviction in America."  
Connor raised his eyes as I spoke and shook his head as I ended.  
"This is what he told most of his brothers. But he only wanted to lure me here. He wanted to learn something from me and that is why they..." He made a vague gesture towards his back and I knew what he meant. They had almost tortured him with their strokes and suddenly I remembered, what Gardner had said in the cell.  
 _If you stick to your statement that you don´t know where it is, she will be the one who has to suffer instead of you._  
He had believed that he could use me as a means of pressure against Connor. But what could Connor tell him what he wanted to know?

"What did he mean with 'it'?"  
Now I was the one everybody´s gaze was directed to but while the others appeared to be confused, Connor seemed to know exactly what I was talking about. His forehead was deeply furrowed and he pinched his lips shortly as he turned his gaze away from me.  
"He said I would have something he wants. He called it Shard of Eden but I didn´t know what he meant with it."  
Shard of Eden? Like the Garden of Eden from the bible? I never heard about something like that before and neither did the three men of Davenport obviously. But Lester appeared like he had heard about it once. The whole time, the grandmaster had silently leaned in the shadows against the wall and now he had stepped towards the table with a tensed expression.  
"He thinks you possess a Piece of Eden?" He propped the hands onto the table and looked at Connor insistently and this reaction didn´t seem to be Connor´s liking. He had sat up and looked at the other assassin as distrustful as always. "I do not what he is thinking. If he is searching for one of these apples, then I will not be able to help him. I do not possess one. The only Apple of Eden I have ever seen belonged to my people and has dissolved."  
Lester shook his head and sank onto a chair, the hands folded on the tabletop. "There exist far more Pieces of Eden than those which were already in possession of our ancestors or your people. The Apples of Eden, the Sword of Eden, the Papal Staff...we are certain about their existence but there are records that more Pieces exist and the so-called Shards of Eden are among them. I haven´t seen one of them yet but it´s said that one single Shard has the power to protect its bearer from damage through musket balls for example. It holds a power to easily repel metal."

I had already lost the thread in this conversation and just sat there with raised eyebrows. When I had considered Connor to be strange in his fever, I asked myself seriously now, if Lester was out of his mind, too. Some object which could protect their bearer with magic? I didn´t believe in magic or sorcery, but obviously Connor seemed to do it. In his gaze was something thoughtful now and also Faulkner stared at his Captain with wide eyes.  
"Oh my!", he uttered. "Captain Kidd´s treasure! The one from Oak Island, this little thing."  
Connor gave his first mate a serious look and curled his lips. "I do not think that..."  
"Yes! Do you remember my flask? This thing just flung it right out of my hand. Like by magic and you said yourself that it seems to have weird powers."  
Lester seemed to feel himself supported now, leaned towards Connor and appeared almost like an excited child on Christmas.  
"Do you still have it? If I have a look at it, I could tell you if it is what I think."  
Connor tensely pinched his lips again and looked back and forth between the two men before he sighed deeply. "It is in a chest on the Aquila. I never wanted to use it because I didn´t trust its power."  
Lester nodded and looked at Faulkner. "No one of you can get to your ship but maybe I could send a message to your crew? Here nearby begins the coast and there is a hidden bay. They could bring the Aquila there and we have a look at the shard. Maybe we could also find out what Gardner wants to do with it."  
While the grandmaster was obviously excited about this plan, Connor didn´t appeared quite convinced. His jaw´s muscles were working tensely but he said nothing as Faulkner agreed with Lester, who directly sent for someone who should contact the Aquila´s crew in London.

Shortly afterwards, the men had left the room. Faulkner and Lester to bring the orders for the Crew on their way and Dave and Norris to rest in their rooms. Connor had propped his arms on the table again and kneaded his forehead with the heels of his hands while I sat silently next to him and looked him over. There it was again. This tension which was badgering him. It was obvious that this whole thing about these Pieces of Eden was bothering him. I still couldn´t understand what it was about and so I didn´t know why he was worried.  
"What exactly are these Pieces of Eden?"  
Connor stopped kneading his forehead and looked at me shortly before he squinched up his face, as if I had asked him if he had ever eaten horse dung.  
"Honestly, I do not know it exactly myself. Achilles told me that they are artefacts of a nation which came before us. They were used to control people and obviously that it why the templars are after them. They want to use their power for themselves."  
"And your people possessed such an artefact?"  
He nodded. "Before I left my village, I had a vision through this object. A spirit told me that it is my destiny to fight against the templars and to protect my people. It made me search for Achilles and let myself be trained by him."  
I lifted an eyebrow. He was mocking at me. Spirits and visions? People who had come before us? Did he think that I would believe that? At least Connor seemed to feel my doubts.  
"I know, it sounds unbelievable but it is true and this thing I found...there is actually a power inside of it."  
"And if it´s true, it would be an explanation why Gardner was so dogged to get hold of you."  
Connor nodded.

I still wasn´t convinced but Theresa had said herself that Gardner must have meant more than making an example by the kidnapping of Connor´s friends to England. The efforts he had made had been too huge for that and if these Pieces were actually existing, their powers would explain some things then. Even I knew that power was the only thing, the templars were interested in.  
The assassin next to me had propped his head into his hands again and appeared completely exhausted all of a sudden. _He´s still not better._  
I moved closer to Connor and gently put a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should have some rest again."  
Connor turned his head, stared at my hand and with pinched lips, he stood up with a jerk as if I had burned him with my touch.  
"I am fine. I have to see what Faulkner and Lester are doing. The command of the Aquila still belongs to me", he growled and before I noticed it, the door of the assembly room had closed behind him and I was left behind alone and perplexed in the semi darkness.


	31. Chapter 31

_**And Hello again :)**_

 _ **Beside my thanks for your support, I just want to say that some abilities of particular Pieces of Eden in this story, were made up by myself, so please don´t wonder about it. ;) At least there are so many Pieces of Eden and things about them, we don´t know so I took it as a great opportunity to include my own fantasy. And it´s still a fictional story. ^^**_

* * *

 **Conclusions**

The next afternoon, Faulkner, Lester, Connor and I stood in the Captain´s cabin of the Aquila and regarded a small, inconspicuous wooden box which Connor had put onto the table. While we others were full of tensed curiousness, he still didn´t seemed to be pleased to reveal this "treasure", how Faulkner always called it. He thought that these Pieces of Eden with their supernatural powers caused nothing good. I personally still couldn´t believe in these powers but right because of that I was even more curious what this box was containing. I even held my breath when Connor lifted the wooden top and was disappointed as he took out an inconspicuous, metal ring.  
Grey, an uneven form and instead of some aesthetic decoration, were strange symbols engraved on it. This little thing didn´t look quiet magical.  
"And that´s the Shard of Eden?", I asked sceptically and raised an eyebrow. "Doesn´t appear quite special to me...Ouch!"  
I had leaned a bit forward to have a better look on the ring in Connor´s hand, as my necklace was suddenly torn backwards and cut painfully into my neck. Scared I grabbed the pendant of the necklace and even though I was holding it now, I felt that something was still tearing it backwards. Connor let the ring drop back into the box, closed the top and the feeling decreased.  
"What was that?" I adjusted my necklace and twisted the pendant between my fingers. I couldn´t understand what had just happened. It had felt like someone had pulled at my neckline from behind, but nobody was standing behind me.

"That was the Shard of Eden." Lester appeared completely satisfied. "It repels every kind of metal which comes closer to its bearer."  
"And strangles me with my own jewellery?"  
"I should have warned you."  
I snorted annoyed and rubbed the spot on my neck, which was still burning unpleasantly. If I had to run around with a damaged cheek and a sore neck now, I would become insane.  
"Be glad that you´re not wearing any earrings. To go without your earlobes would have been more painful", chuckled Faulkner in amusement and earned a devastating gaze for it. I wasn´t in the mood for bad jokes and so wasn´t Connor.

He hadn´t followed our conversation but only stared down onto the box and stroke with his fingertips over its top.  
"The question is what Gardner wants with it", he murmured. "Protection or not, but I do not think that he just wanted it because he needs a protection from bullets."  
He wasn´t wrong with that. If Gardner was afraid to be killed by a bullet or another metal, this effort with the kidnapping of Connor´s friends would have been too much. He could have tried to take the Shard from Connor in America but he had lured him to England instead. Why?  
"Maybe there is another secret behind the Shard. One that is more important to Gardner than simple protection."  
The three men looked at me thoughtfully as I uttered this guess and the assassin´s grandmaster slowly began to nod. "I´m going to ask around again. Maybe I will find out something about the Shards. Do you think I could take it with me?"  
Connor frowned and put a hand onto the box. An unmistakable sign that he wasn´t pleased about this idea. Lester understood, nodded shortly and bid farewell.

As he was gone, Connor took the box and put it back into the commode, he had taken it from before.  
"The men shall pay attention that the cabin is always locked. I do not want anybody to come closer to the Shard. Assassin or not."  
Faulkner nodded.  
"Why don´t you carry it with you? Nobody can get to it then and it´s protecting you at the same time."  
Connor firmly shook his head at my question and propped his hands onto the tabletop, the back stretched, the head lowered. "I do not want to rely on some supernatural things."  
Worried I looked the half native over, whose arms had shortly started to tremble and who passed his hand over his face, sighing quietly, before he straightened up. His gaze met mine and I looked away quickly as his expression hardened. My worry seemed to be unwanted but what should I do? Just a few days ago, I had thought that he would die, had sat beside his bed and watched him throwing himself back and forth in his feverish dreams. He was wearing his robes again and was running around like nothing had happened, but it was unmistakable that he still wasn´t quite himself.

Also his first mate had noticed that, because he shortly appeared worried, too when he looked at his Captain. But this expression vanished as Connor turned towards him.  
"We should think about what happens to Big Dave and Norris. At first I have to learn what Gardner really wants but I do not want them to wait here for so long. Norris must get back to Myriam and even if Dave certainly wants to stay here, I want someone to accompany Norris on the journey."  
"Well, if this is supposed to mean that we´re going to stay here, Captain, I´m going to ask around among my old contacts in London. Certainly there is someone who could arrange a passage for both of them."  
"But be careful. No one of us should be seen in the city."  
"I´m the caution in person, Captain", grinned Faulkner and playfully indicated a bow before he left the cabin, too.

Connor and I remained alone and while the assassin sank down onto a chair, I was still standing by the table and tripped with my fingers on the tabletop, unsure if I should say something or just go. I considered the latter, but I here was no real conversation I could expect anyway.  
"I´m going to go back then", I murmured and went to the door. Connor said no word, at least until I had opened the door and had taken a step outside. Just then he called me back. Undetermined I turned around towards him. He had stood up and silently indicated to me, to step inside again.  
His serious expression was as usual but that didn´t mean that I liked it. I closed the door behind me again and gave him a questioning gaze. Did I have to listen to a lecture now because I was worried about him?

The Assassin stood right in front of me and looked me over with an enigmatic expression, which was making me nervous. I hated when he was staring without saying something.  
"What do you want, Connor?", I asked irritated. Why couldn´t he speak out his mind once?  
Connor began to knead his knuckles and at first, I thought that he would do that out of uneasiness and almost regretted my irritated tone. But I was so naive.  
"I asked Janet Pierce to bring you wherever you sent the old lady to. She said she wants to set off tomorrow."  
My eyebrows shot up and I stared at him disbelieving. Had I got it right?  
"You decided behind my back where I should go to?"  
"If I had asked you directly, you would not have agreed."  
I uttered an outraged noise and crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Who said that I would go with her?"  
Now he frowned, too. Irritated. "You have no other choice. The assassins cannot keep you here forever and I think that you are safer in...were the old lady is, than you are here."  
And he just decided that for himself? Wonderful. The last thing I needed was another person who believed to know what was good for me.  
"I will not go to Sussex!" I raised my chin and looked at him provocatively. That would be even better, if I would let a grouchy assassin command me around. "As long as Gardner is planning something, I won´t go anywhere."

Connor uttered his much vaunted snort and gave me a look, which normally would give me the shivers.  
"You cannot really be so stupid."  
 _I beg your pardon?_ My jaws dropped.  
"I cannot use you here. You would just fall into Gardner´s hands again and then I will have the choice between giving him what he wants and letting you die. That is one more problem, I do not need."  
So, I was a problem then? It was the same like always. I had helped him but from his point of view, I had caused even more difficulties to him at the same time. As if he wanted to get rid of me once again and obviously he had thought that it would be better to leave me no choice this time. How I hated him for that. I nodded slowly though and shortly it seemed like Connor was actually relieved. He took his "problem" as solved, but he could forget that soon.  
"Can I at least stay until you know how to continue?"  
His eyes narrowed, but after a short time, he nodded. "All right."  
"Fine. Hopefully I am allowed to go now, Captain?" I made no effort to hide the sneer in my voice. I didn´t wait for an answer either but left the cabin. I heard Connor murmur something before I shut the door loudly behind me.  
 _Connection to him? This guy is soft-boiled by the fever and you seriously believe that something has changed. You´re so naive, Lillian._

* * *

The next day, we came together on the Aquila again, sat around the table together, while Lester told about the results of his enquiries, his eyes glowing with excitement. A contact had told that Gardner was searching for the Shards of Eden for a long time now. Those who came before, how he called the people of the first civilization, had equipped them not only with the ability to protect their bearers from harm. Apparently each one of them contained a possibility to track down other Pieces of Eden. Gardner possessed some other Shards of Eden but was looking for a particular Piece of Eden and he thought that Connor´s Shard would lead to it. Apparently it was somewhere in the Kingdom. Lester couldn´t say what exactly this Piece was, but we all knew that no matter what this object was: The templars mustn´t get it. If these Pieces actually contained as much power as Connor had said, nobody was allowed to permit that this power got into the hands of the templars. So it was an unspoken consequence that this particular Piece of Eden had to be found, before Gardner did.

"But how shall the little thing tell us, where we have to go?" Frowning, Faulkner looked at the ring, Connor had placed onto the tabletop. It was lying there completely inconspicuous as if no secret was inside of it.  
"Maybe there is a spell you have to say", I mentioned, less serious. Even if I had felt the power of this thing yesterday, I still couldn´t believe this ancient stories about magical pieces. I was a religious Christian. I didn´t believed in the First Civilization with their special abilities no matter what they tried to make me believe.

Connor stood up, took a map of the British Isles and opened it on the table. He put the Shard on it, but nothing happened. "Maybe the information was wrong?"  
Lester firmly shook his head. "It has to be right. I´m sure of it. Maybe you have to..."  
He stretched out his hand towards the little object, but Connor reacted in an instant and put a hand over the small metal ring. Grimly Lester pulled his hand back but Connor kept his posture. The hollow hand laid over the Shard, he gave an iron look to the grandmaster.  
"Whichever Piece of Eden Gardner is looking for, I do not think that..." He faltered and his look slit to his hand. Frowning I followed it and widened my eyes in surprise.  
With a quiet, scratching noise the Shard had started to move. It slit through Connors opened fingers and over the map in an agonisingly slow pace, while we were watching it with amazement.  
"Oh my! That´s sorcery", uttered Mr. Faulkner and I was willing to agree with him. Like it was led by an invisible force, the Shard of Eden still slit over the map´s parchment with determination, further northwards, over Scotland and stopped close to the edge of the table. Curious we others leaned forward while Connor bent over the map, to have a closer look on the Shard´s hint.  
"It stopped on the sea", he murmured and frowning, Faulkner bent over the map, too.  
"Not at all!" The old sailor grinned triumphantly. "Look, its edge touches this small piece of land."  
"And what is there?"  
"Unst. The northernmost of the Scottish Shetland Islands."

* * *

Connor and Faulkner had decided quickly, that they wanted to sail northwards with Lester. The first mate of the Aquila had instructed the crew, to arrange everything necessary and while the ship was prepared, the two assassins and I returned to the hideout. Lester wanted to make arrangements for his departure and Connor, according to his own statement, wanted to make sure that I actually prepared myself for my departure to Sussex. He wasn´t slightly interested, that there wasn´t much to prepare. Beside my red dress and the dress I was wearing and which Maria and Theresa had brought to me with their arrival, I had no other belongings I could pack up.

So I simply sat down on my bed with a grim expression and stared at the wall while the assassin leaned in the open door. His promise, to keep an eye on me, was thereby anything but pleasant.  
"Do you think, I would run away?", I asked mockingly, without looking at him.  
"I would not put it past you."  
Oh wonderful. So he really thought I was dumb. Where should I run to? To London and into Gardner´s arms? That seemed to be what he was worried about and even though I would like to think that he was only worried about my welfare, it was hard to believe when he was telling me face to face, that I was a problem for him. But had I ever seen Connor tactful?

From the corners of my eyes, I could see how the assassin left his place at the door, approached me and finally sat down next to me on the bed. With pinched lips I kept staring at the wall while Connor leaned forward, his forearms propped onto his knees and looking at me from the side.  
"Will you ever understand me?", he asked with a sigh and irritated I furrowed my eyebrows.  
"I understand you very well. First I was quite useful and now I´m a problem. Not forgetting that I have understood something wrong between us because I just ran after you several times and ruined your plans. I followed you even into prison. Understandable, that a very busy man like you get fed up with this someday and understandable, that you want to get rid of me as quickly as possible."  
Connor groaned quietly and I saw, how he began to knead the root of his nose. So I was even causing him headache now.

"I do not want to get rid of you. I want you to be safe. What do you think you could do, when we are searching for the Piece? You cannot fight, you are not used to walk for long or to strain yourself in general. You..." He faltered and was obviously looking for the right words while I was more and more clenching my teeth with anger.  
"You are a Lady. You are not made for wandering around and looking for objects, which should never get into the wrong hands. I do not want you to endanger yourself or others."  
"Delicate and fragile, right?" I turned towards him and saw that he was confused now.  
"Well...if you want to say it like that...yes. Somehow."  
I snorted scornfully. "You could say it like that. You already did."  
Connor´s eyebrows rose. "I have never said something like that to you."  
"You did. Just a few days ago, when I held your hands at your bed, because you wanted me to stay. Sauce raosisa, or something like that."

The eyes of the half native widened and for the split of a second, his mouth stood open. Obviously he really knew nothing about what he had said during his fever and even if I forbade myself it: It made me sad.  
I swallowed heavily as I thought of how he had stroke my cheek. I had really thought that his words would have had a deeper meaning. But obviously, I had been wrong.  
"I certainly never said something like that to you", snorted Connor and turned his eyes away, directed them stiffly to the wall.  
"That I should hold your hand and stay or that I´m a...Sauce somewhat? Delicate and fragile."  
Connor began to grind his jaw, like always when he was tensed and angry. "Both", he growled and stood up jerkily. "I tell Pierce that she shall take you with her. The sooner the better, before I have to bring you somewhere myself, so that you finally do what you are told."  
And with that, he left.


	32. Chapter 32

**New agreements**

You could think that I had seen Connor one more time. That he had at least the decency to bid farewell. But who combined the name Connor with decency, probably believed that the devil was a friendly fellow you could invited to a cup of tea. He had no decency. He had barely left me behind, when he made every effort to let the Aquila set sail as soon as possible. The assassins had agreed to provide a large part of their supplies and so were the narrow, underground corridors soon full of sailors who carried the boxes and barrels upwards and on a cart, which should transport everything to the ship.

I stood in the door of Pierce´s room and watched discontented this whole hustle and bustle while the young assassin filled some bags with supplies for our journey. The ride to Sussex would probably take four days and I was terrified of it. I didn´t want to go there. I didn´t want to sit around somewhere and twiddle my thumbs while I could only think about what was going on somewhere else. Unintentional or not, I had already been aware of so many things about this fight, that it felt wrong now to turn my back towards it.  
 _But Connor is right when he says that I won´t be a help._  
This thought unfortunately lasted persistently and was always pushed into the deepest corner of my mind.

Basically I felt like I was transferred into my childhood, when I had refused to visit some eccentric relatives. I had always resisted like a wild cat, had become defiant and snappish and had wanted to impose my reluctance with all my strength. But my father had always been consequent and so my behaviour had got me nothing but a bad mood. I also felt this bad mood now, but with the difference that Connor certainly wasn´t my father and so I had no reason to give up my reluctance. Secretly I thought up every possible plan, how I could prevent the journey to Sussex and go with the men instead. But all of that was quickly proven to be a dream. It was more possible that I would learn to fly before I could realize one of these plans successfully.

So I had almost abandoned myself to my destiny as I heard a quiet whistle from Pierce behind me and turned around. Instantly something white, made of thin fabric flew into my face and when I looked at it, I was completely confused.  
"What shall I do with it?", I asked and held up the shirt, Pierce had thrown to me. The assassin grinned whimsically and also threw trousers, made of fine suede, to me.  
"Put them on."  
My eyebrows rose in disbelief. Why did she think that I would put on trousers?  
"Do you know, Missy, the two of us have something in common. We´re not in the mood for this journey. You, because you absolutely want to join this venture and I, because I don´t want to spend four days with a spoilt Lady from the town. So it is only beneficial for us both if you put these on."  
Pierce flopped onto her bed and looked at me challengingly while I still stared at her with disbelief.  
"And how can it be my advantage, if I put these on?"  
"Well, you sneak onto the ship. Pretend that you are a crew member. As long nobody notices it until the Aquila sets sail, you´re safe. Nobody can send you away later, unless Connor throws you overboard and I could understand that, to be honest."  
My fingertips slit over the coarse fabric of the linen shirt and I bit my lower lip.  
"I will make a fool of myself", I murmured and threw the clothes back to the bed.  
"Is that your only concern? That you could make a fool of yourself?" Pierce laughed sneeringly. "Oh my Lord, are all the women of the higher class educated to let themselves be dominated and to comply with every norm?" She stood up and put a hand to her chest. "Look at me. I don´t comply with any norm and first they wanted to put obstacles in my way, too. But I didn´t allow them to get me down and I do what I think is right. You don´t want to go to Sussex, don´t you?"  
I shook my head.  
"Don´t go there then." She took the clothes from the bed, approached me and gave them to me.  
"I heard what Connor said to you. That you should finally do what you´re told. He has no right to talk to you in this way and for fuck´s sake: If he had talked to me like that, he would have found himself wriggling on the floor." She smirked slightly and I had to smile with this thought, too. Yes, Pierce definitely wasn´t a typical woman and refused to do what she was told.  
"But unfortunately I´m not an assassin like you. I can´t defend myself if I have to. Connor is right when he says that I could endanger myself and others."  
"That might be right." Pierce shrugged her shoulders. "But I doubt that you would be in the way somewhere. You know how serious the situation is and you´re modest enough to know that you´re no fighter. So I also doubt that you would rush headlong into trouble."  
The assassin went to the door, grabbed the handle and turned halfway to me. "So put these on. You need to hurry if you want to mingle with the men."

I stayed behind insecure and looked the pieces of clothing in my hands. I had never believed that Pierce would help me but she was right. Basically I had often tried to go my own way during the last weeks. The rollback to old behaviour had happened unconsciously with that and also now, I wasn´t sure if I should dare this step. But I had nothing to lose, only to win.  
So I began to take off my clothes and slipped into shirt and trousers. It was an unfamiliar feeling. The shirt´s fabric was callous, the sleeves a bit too long as well as the trouser´s legs. Pierce was taller than I, but apart from that we had almost the same figure. The trousers fitted perfectly even though walking in them was unfamiliar at first. I wasn´t used to something like legroom in my heavy skirts. You were making small steps, had to balance the weight. I felt much freer in the trousers and couldn´t deny myself to dare a single jump onto the bed to stand shakily on the mattress. In this moment, Pierce entered the room and gave me a broad grin. "Good feeling, not to comply to any norms, isn´t it?"  
At first I felt awkward with my behaviour but I jumped from the bed again and had to grin now, too.  
"It takes getting used to it and maybe it´s not completely my taste but for now, it´s not bad."

The assassin went to the small cupboard in the corner of the room and took out a pair of boots, a leather waistcoat and a tricorn, she gave to me. I slipped into the boots, which were too big at first but fitted, after I had stuffed them with stockings. The waistcoat fitted directly but I noticed a particular problem when I buttoned it up. It was made for a woman and so there was nothing which hid my female curves. If I would go to the Aquila, everybody would see that I wasn´t a boy. I called Pierce´s attention to it, too. She frowned, approached me, unbuttoned the waistcoat and tugged at the shirt then, which I had put into the trousers. She bulged it and so the clothing slightly hid my curves.  
"Pay attention to how you move and mind that you shouldn´t be seen from the side too often. You shouldn´t attract attention then. You just have to hang on until the Aquila set sail." She gave me the hat. "Tie up your hair and hide it under it. You can pull it deeper into your face if you have to."  
How ordered, I restrained my long hair to a braid and plugged it under the hat which I pulled deeply into my forehead. Pierce looked me over with satisfaction. "Not recognisable as a woman at first sight. How I´ve said: Pay attention to your attitude, don´t speak and if it´s possible: Stay away from Connor, Faulkner and Lester. The other crewmembers are surely too dumb to notice something."  
I nodded. "Thank you, Pierce."  
"It´s to my own benefit, Missy. Leave now. Otherwise you will miss the ship."  
I went to the door, opened it and faltered when Pierce called me back. Confused I turned around.  
"You´re walking like a lady. Men don´t wiggle their hips and certainly they don´t pace. Try to...walk more relaxed. Less careful and especially less feminine. And don´t forget this. It fell out of your little pouch."  
She threw something to me, I recognised as Connor´s necklace. I still hadn´t given it back to him. I gave a smile to the assassin, put the necklace into the pouch of my waistcoat and left the room with quick steps to approach the exit.

By now I knew my way around in these winding corridors quite well and stood outside soon. Some men were standing in front of the vault´s ruins and loaded the last boxes. As quickly as I could, I grabbed one of them and carried it to the cart. The men shortly gave me scrutinizing gazes before they shrugged their shoulders and let me work. Obviously they didn´t really notice that I wasn´t one of them or they thought that I belonged to the assassins. Anyhow, they also said nothing when I climbed onto the cart and drove with them to the bay. The whole time I felt a tingly exertion and excitement and was impatient to go onboard. I just hoped that everything would go well. At least until the Aquila had set sail. If I would be discovered earlier, Connor would drag me faster to Sussex than I would like it.  
 _He would be angry anyway, even if you are discovered when the Aquila is on the high sea._  
But I tried to not think about it but concentrated on the here and now.

When we arrived in the bay, I briefly checked the fit of my shirt, pulled the hat deeper into my face and grabbed one of the boxes which I carried to the ship. The crewmembers on board luckily didn´t pay further attention to me but I startled as I suddenly felt a heavy hand on my shoulder.  
"Oy, lad." I looked into the face of a weather-beaten sailor with a broad scar on his lower lip. "The box belongs right over there. You have to pay attention. Don´t need any mess."  
I nodded tensely and lifted the box, I just had put down, onto my arms again.  
"Do I know you anyway? Seem to be quite a weakling. Do you belong to these hooded ones?"  
A nod again.  
"Not the brightest bulb in the box, aren´t you?"  
I shook my head.  
"Well, keep on working then. Don´t need to have something in the brain. As long as you make yourself useful and don´t stand in the way like a useless woman."  
With a bright red head I turned away and carried the box to the named location. For the split of a second I had thought that this man would see that I was just a "useless woman". But obviously Pierce had been right when she had said that the sailor wouldn´t notice it.

Nevertheless I paid more attention to my work from now on and so it was quickly done. The Aquila was loaded and the crew began to prepare her to set sail. Because I had absolutely no idea what to do, I went and stood by the rail and pretended to do something quite important. Luckily the other crewmembers were so preoccupied with their work that they didn´t paid attention to me. I felt safe for now until I saw Connor, Mr. Faulkner and Lester coming onboard. Connor had exchanged his assassin´s clothes with those of a Captain and was loudly greeted by his crew, like they did in America. As it was Faulkner. I saw how the two assassins climbed the stairs to the wheel while Faulkner talked to one of the Clutterbucks.

I turned towards my pretended activity again and rejoiced in the thought that it was almost done. That we would set sail soon. But then a voice tore me out of my beginning rapture.  
"Hey there, lad! You with the hat. Come over here."  
I faltered and slowly turned towards Faulkner, who actually looked at me. He beckoned me over to him as he saw that I reacted and I approached him slowly, my head lowered.  
"Are you new here?"  
I nodded.  
"Whoever has dragged you along, I hope you know that we have no need for sluggards. You´re standing there at the rail as if you want to become our new figurehead. Have no idea about shipping, have you?"  
A shake of the head.  
"Well, we will teach you if you really want to lend a hand."  
A nod and a deep sigh from Faulkner.  
"Well, I don´t mind lad. But before you´re adhering to the rail, I have a little task for you. Go to the Captain´s cabin, search the map of these waters and bring it to me. Understood?"  
A nod again and pushed myself past Faulkner to the cabin.

Inside I took a deep breath. That had been more than close. Faulkner could have uncovered me easily because he had also noticed that I had been anything but useful.  
 _But keep calm. It´s almost done._  
I went to the commode from which I already knew that it contained the maps and began to search for the right one. Luckily I had been reasonably taught in geography and found the map quickly, when a small jerk went through the Aquila. I went to the windows, which were directed to the stern´s side and saw with great relief that we had set sail. Slowly the Aquila departed from the pier and my joy, that I had made it, grew with every metre. Now Connor wouldn´t be able to send me to Sussex anymore.  
 _Unless he throws you overboard._

With the map under my arm, I left the cabin and instantly breathed in the fresh air from the sea with a satisfied smile. I hadn´t been able to enjoy it before because I only had been concerned about attracting no attention. But even though I was relieved, I still had to keep up my camouflage as long as possible. So I checked the fit of my shirt and hat again, before I climbed the stairs to the upper deck. There stood Mr. Faulkner and Lester on each side of Connor who in turn was holding the wheel in a concentrated manner and steered the Aquila out of the bay. So he luckily didn´t pay attention to me, as Faulkner turned towards me.  
"Ah, there you are lad. I see that you have something inside of your head at least. Was afraid that you come back with a map of the Caribbean Sea." He chuckled amused and opened a part of the map which he showed to Connor. They spoke about some routes and because I thought that I was out of the woods for now, I started to retreat discreetly. But I didn´t reckon with Faulkner. He turned towards me and beckoned me over resolutely.

"Don´t run away, boy. Down there you would be in everybody´s way anyway. I have to think up a task for you but until then, I want to see what´s really in your head. Maybe we can use you for navigation. So come on." He took a step aside and pointed to the map he was holding in the one, Connor in the other hand. Hesitantly I stepped closer, paying attention on keeping my head down.  
"Show me if you know where we are on this map right now."  
I groaned inwardly. Was he serious? A lesson in geography? Now? Here? Maybe I could pretend to be dump. Shrug with my shoulders.  
"Oh, come on. Even if you don´t know it, give a guess."  
I took one more step closer, stood between Faulkner and Connor now and examined the map while my heart was in my mouth. Nevertheless I concentrated and called everything back in my mind what I knew about the British Isles. London was found quickly, so my eyes followed approximately the way to the assassins´ hideout. It wasn´t far to the coast from there and the bay wasn´t hard to find with that knowledge. I stretched out my index finger and tipped silently on this spot.  
"Very good! The lad knows his way around!" Faulkner gave me a pat on my shoulder which took my breath away and made me stumble forward. Unfortunately I fell directly against Connor, who grabbed my arm while I clung to it myself.

I bit my lower lip and quickly took a step backwards, my head lowered and so I couldn´t see the assassin´s face. Only his shoes told me that he stood turned to me and that made my heart sink.  
 _Please, don´t let him notice something._  
Now Connor´s boots moved towards me and his steps on the deck suddenly sounded too loud in my ears. He stopped in front of me and before I could react, he had grabbed my wrist, took my hand, turned it a bit and I winced as I heard this typical, angry snort of him.  
"Quite delicate hands for a sailor, have you not? Almost clean. No calluses." He let my hand loose and had tore my hat from my head shortly afterwards, so that my braid fell over my shoulder. When I rose my head contritely, I looked into two surprised and one merciless angry faces.  
"Mr Faulkner, you are taking over", growled Connor and grabbed my arm roughly. Under protest I was dragged down the stairs, he opened the door to the cabin and hustled me inside before he entered and shut the door behind him.

I stumbled a bit and ruggedly hit the solid wooden table, what made me swear quietly. With my face twisted in pain, I rubbed this spot. That was going to become a proper bruise. Great.  
"What the hell is it you think you are doing here? I thought I made myself clear that you should not be here." Connor had built up himself in front of me and his eyes were flashing with anger and it made me swallow.  
 _That he throws me overboard isn´t so absurd._  
Because the assassin was expecting an answer, I wasn´t sure at first how I should react. My first impulse was to make my head against him but if I was honest, I had no chance. Connor was relentless like a rock...if he wasn´t blazing with fever. So I had to try it in a calm way.

"I´m sorry, but I...I just didn´t want to go to Sussex. I didn´t want to sit around and worry."  
"It would have been safer though." Connor´s look was still hard and he stood with crossed arms in front of me while I had leaned against the table, my head lowered now.  
"Don´t you think I´m safer here than where Gardner could find me anytime?"  
At first he gave no answer. When I raised my head, I could see that the assassin seemed to be fighting with my words. The little content of truth hadn´t escaped him. But he jerkily shook his head.  
"I already said that you are not made for such a journey. It is going to be dangerous. We do not know what to expect, what do you intend to do anyway? Do you want to hide behind me or even better: Blink attackers to death with your eyes?"  
My lower lip made the acquaintance of my teeth. His sneering tone was unmistakable and hurt. He just wasn´t taking me serious and I tended to think he was right. But then I remembered Pierce´s words and what I had resolved. That nobody had the right to talk to me in that way and that I didn´t want to allow anybody to get me down anymore. Determined I raised my chin and looked firmly into my person opposite´s eyes.

"You said many things, Connor and you´re partly right. I´m no fighter. I´m no match for any attacker like an assassin would be. I´m really not made for that and I prefer to leave it to others. But my entire life I had to hear, what I´m not allowed to do as a woman and what I´m not "made" for. I´m already involved in this issue with Gardner like you are and I don´t let you or anybody else forbid me to be there when it´s finally put an end to his game."  
With these words I grabbed into my waistcoat pocket and threw his necklace to him, which he regarded thoughtfully.  
"I don´t let myself be bullied around, least of all by someone who shows no respect for me. The whole time you shoved me around as it suited you fine. Lillian, I need your help, you´re the only one I can trust. No, Lillian. Don´t help me anymore. It´s too dangerous, stay away from me. That I was at the harbour was an accident. That I followed you in Tyburn was on purpose. That I went to the prison was stupid. But I did all of that because I wanted it. Because I was worried about you and when I´m a stupid woman because of that, I´m sorry. But it doesn´t give you the right to treat me like a child, damn it. And now I have something in my eye."

Abruptly I turned away from him and blinked the tears away, which had risen into my eyes. Just why did I begin to cry when I was about to talk myself into a rage? I would love to tell him so much more, regardless to the fact that it probably wouldn´t interest him anyway. At last he was the deadly assassin and freedom fighter. The one, the templars saw as a threat and many people were looking up to. What were the words of a woman who saw herself offended in her honour and was misunderstanding everything anyway? Basically he wasn´t different to Richard in this point. I clenched my fists and propped them onto the tabletop while I inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm myself. So much for that "talking to him in a calm manner"-thing. But this guy was driving me insane.

Connor had listened to my tirade without batting an eyelid and even now he said nothing. I couldn´t see him but I could feel his gaze in the back of my neck. The wooden floor creaked quietly under his feet when Connor approached me, which induced me to tense. He pulled a chair closer and sat down on it sideways. On arm rested on the backrest, the other with the necklace in its hand on the table. I saw how his fingertips stroked over the bear claws which were still flecked with his blood.  
"Where did you get it?", he asked quietly.  
"Gardner gave it to me. As a warning that I shouldn´t interfere anymore."  
"And you did it anyway."  
"As I said: I was worried. I couldn´t bear the thought that you...", I faltered and bit my lower lip, before I found my voice again. "I asked the assassins for help and when they said that they couldn´t help, I went on my own. I thought that I could accomplish something. It was stupid, I know."  
"Yes, it was." Connor swayed the necklace in his hand while I abused my lower lip with my teeth once more. Of course he had to emphasize that, what else?  
"But it was also damn brave."  
My head whirled into his direction and I stared at him in amazement when he raised his eyes. While sitting he was just fractional smaller than me which was why we were almost at eye level now. But had he really said that? Had he paid me something like a compliment?  
"Bravery and stupidity often appear together."  
 _Oh, great._

The amazed expression gave way to a grim one. Had I expected something else?  
"I often made decisions some took for brave, others for stupid but in retrospect the most of them have been stupid. But I made these decisions from my heart and that is why I am not regretting them. At least very few of them."  
He cocked his head and the corners of his mouth twitched when I was looking at him questioningly. I wasn´t sure if he wanted to tell me, that he understood me, but what he had said applied to me, too. I wasn´t regretting what I had done.  
"I know that you do not want me to give you any orders, but if you do not want to be locked up here after our arrival, I have to make you promise to do it anyway. At least when it becomes necessary. I do not like that you are here. I just think that it is too dangerous but it seems like I have to accept your decision."  
Connor more or less willing to compromise. I never thought I would live to see this day. I nodded slowly.  
"So you promise it?"  
"If you promise me, that you don´t express your instructions like marching orders."  
The corners of his mouth twitched again. "If you like." He looked down to his necklace again and lifted it slightly. "Thank you for keeping it."


	33. Chapter 33

**Hidden messages**

The crossing to Unst took almost a week because the Aquila had to make several changes in course. Heavy crosswinds pushed the ship intransigently towards the coast, as if they wanted to prevent us from reaching our destination. Soon Connor had to abandon the plan to be geared to the coast. So the cliffs of Great Britain were only dark shadows in the fog, which stayed persistently for several days. The weather was horrible.  
It was raining, the air was getting colder the more we came closer to the north and when you were walking over the deck, the icy spray of the sea was blown into your face. Sometime I could taste nothing more than salt on my lips and was grateful as I was told to spend most of my time inside the cabin.

The instruction didn´t come because of the concern about my resistance to weather but because of the concern about the crew´s moral. The men had reacted more than horrified after they had heard that a woman in trousers had sneaked onboard. Some men had actually demanded that I was thrown overboard but basically they were just offended because they hadn´t seen through my charade. Mr. Faulkner shortly had been in a huff, too but by now he was laughing at the fact that I really had convinced him that I was a man.

But to avoid the crew´s anger, I spent most of my time in the cabin and was bored, like I had been during the journey from America to England. The life on sea was monotonous if you had nothing to do although Mr. Faulkner came by often and brooded over some maps with me. Apparently to determine further alternative routes but I knew that this was an unnecessary undertaking. The routes were already certain and there weren´t many alternatives, but I was grateful to the old sailor for giving me not the feeling to be completely useless onboard.

It was the middle of the day when we finally arrived at our destination and the rain clouds had vanished. The sun was shining down from the sky and made the sea glaring like a mirror. I had to cover my eyes with my hand when I stood on deck with the others and looked over to the island. Unst was an uneven piece of land with steep cliffs in some places and whitewashed beaches, which sloped down gently into the sea, elsewhere. I had never been so far in the north and I had never seen an island which was so green but barren at the same time. From the distance it seemed like a single area made of rocks and grass without any evidence of forests or any other life.

"Is it uninhabited?", I asked nobody in particular but it was Lester, who answered.  
"It is quite sparsely populated. The people are leading the life of recluses and mainly live on the fishing. I´ve never been here myself but I heard that they aren´t disposed towards strangers."  
 _Sounds like the ideal preconditions._  
"If it is like you say, we should not dock the Aquila too close to the island. I want to avoid unnecessary trouble." Connor gave a look to Mr. Faulkner who seemed to understand it at least.  
"We will drop anchor immediately, Captain."  
"And I think it would be better if you stay here, Mr. Faulkner. I want to know that somebody is here to keep an eye on everything while we are away. No matter how long we are going to stay here, we cannot come back every time."  
Faulkner nodded. "Aye Captain. Shall the men prepare the yawl?"  
"Yes. Lester, Lillian and I should be over there before the weather changes."

Previously we had been warned already, that the weather in this region was incalculable, even in summer. When the sun was shining in one moment, there could be the worst storm in the next and I actually didn´t want to be surprised by one while being on a yawl on the sea. The spot, where Connor let the Aquila drop anchor, was at least about one mile away from the coast.  
While Faulkner was barking some last orders and the men were obeying them in a hurry, I stood by the rail and looked over to the piece of land we should enter soon. I was curious and excited about what was going to await us. But it frightened me at the same time. Although I doubted that there would be templars over there, because they couldn´t know that we were here. But inhabitants who weren´t disposed towards strangers could be dangerous enough. I just hoped that we would quickly find whatever we were looking for.  
"Are you sure that you want to come with us?"  
I startled from my thoughts when Connor suddenly appeared beside me. He had changed his clothes, had pulled his hood into his face like Lester and was currently putting his tomahawk into a loop on his belt. He appeared to be ready for everything and so I was it, too.  
"Of course."  
He nodded even if I could see in his face that he had hoped for a different answer. But if I wouldn´t come with them, the journey here would have been for nothing. There was no turning back now.

The crew had prepared the yawl in the meantime and one of the men, who should bring us to the island, was already waiting in this little nutshell which was critically rocked backwards and forwards by the sea. I hoped that I wouldn´t have to take an unwanted bath today. Connor was the first who climbed into the boat. Lester followed and reached out his hand for me to help me with getting in. During our time on the Aquila, I had barely talked to the grandmaster. He seemed to be lost in thoughts and also now he appeared tensed.  
"Are you alright?", I asked and he nodded smiling.  
"I´m more nervous than I thought. The chance of finding a Piece of Eden is a great opportunity."  
"Opportunity? In what way?"  
"Well, our brotherhood is endangered. We can need every possible help."  
So he thought that this Piece could assist him against the templars? He didn´t even know what kind of Piece we were looking for and especially if it really was on the island. But the assassin appeared so full of hope to me so that I smiled in agreement. Maybe his wish would become true.

The yawl moved off and in a, for me agonisingly slow speed, we came closer to the coast. Today the sea was calm but nevertheless the boat began to rock from time to time and every time, I saw us capsizing. I felt definitely more comfortable on a large ship and so I was relieved when I had solid ground beneath my feet again. We were in a small bay and on a first impulse, I sank to my knees and fascinated, I let the white sand trickle through my fingers. I had only heard about beaches like this through stories about the Caribbean and I never believed that I could find something like this in the deepest north of my homeland. The sand was fine, almost soft and still warm from the light of the sun, which was hiding behind the clouds in this moment. I would like to put off my boots and bury my bare feet into the sand, but I felt drawn to the edge of the bay instead. Here the beach merged into an area of small, smooth rocks before you saw yourself in front of a single area of green grass which extended to the horizon. The whole island seemed to be green and its meadows overgrown with different flowers and grasses. I had never seen a more weird landscape before and amazed I took all these impressions in.

"Quite barren."  
Dumbfounded I stared at the half native who stood next to me and looked at the nature around us with disapproving eyes. "No trees. Not even real bushes. There a no possibilities to take cover except of rocks."  
Of course. The warrior inside of him was talking. I sighed. "Can´t you try to see the beauty around you once? Lush green grasses, many different flowers and the air is wonderfully fresh, too."  
As if I wanted to emphasize my words, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the air which was full of the salty smell of the sea and the scent of the flowers and grasses. But when I opened my eyes, Connor still looked like he would stay in a mud hole and I gave up the try to make the landscape tempting to him.  
"You´re beyond help", I murmured which made Lester smirk.  
"The island really possesses an own kind of beauty but we should concentrate on what we came here for." The assassin´s grandmaster winked at me and I nodded. He was right.

"We have no option but to move on and hope that we will find a settlement or something similar. Maybe the inhabitants know about the Piece of Eden and can tell us, where it is." Connor´s gaze was directed at the distance, seeking. That there were no possibilities to take cover, also meant that you could keep an eye on the landscape, even across several kilometres. But until now there was no indication about houses nearby and I remembered what Lester had said about the island. That it was sparsely populated and that the inhabitants weren´t friendly towards strangers. So I doubted that they would tell us something about a treasure which was located on Unst. When they knew about it anyway. But we hadn´t many opportunities and that was why we shouldered our bags with supplies and set off into the uncertainty.

The hike took several hours and we barely talked to each other. Only from time to time, Lester brought the features of the flora and fauna on Unst to my notice and every time I was ecstatic about this natural beauty. In my life I had barely been in the open countryside, especially not on foot. I was used to the urban life and in America the omnipresent wilderness around my uncle´s property had intimidated me. Here on the island, I enjoyed every second and even though the general landscape was quite monotonous, I found it beautiful nevertheless and I couldn´t keep myself from leaving the path, Connor was setting in advance, from time to time and picked up the flowers and grasses which caught my eyes. While Lester was amused about my almost childish joy, Connor – how should it else be – was soon annoyed and ordered me to stay close and to not stop all the time. I ignored him totally wilfully, kept collecting my flowers and soon I began to plait a small wreath out of flowers and grasses while walking.

Especially the orchids, which seemed to exist in great numbers on the island, appealed to me and every time I found one, I picked it up carefully and plaited it into my work of art. I was highly concentrated in doing so and in terms of walking, I geared myself to Connor who walked beside me and glanced at me from time to time.  
"What do you want to do with it?", he asked me sometime and I shrugged my shoulders while I plaited the last butterfly-like blossom into the wreath. Then I regarded my work of art with satisfaction, took off my tricorn and replaced it with the wreath.  
"I just think it looks pretty. Or does it not?" I grinned at the half native who looked the netting on my head over and finally shrugged his shoulders grumbling. You really couldn´t interest him in anything. Sighing inwardly, I kept walking but jumped off the path again soon.

I quickly picked up an orchid´s blossom, which I had detected, a few long grasses and hurried after the two men who had kept on walking in the meantime. I caught up with Connor and while I walked next to him, I plaited a small braid out of the grasses and finally connected it with the orchid´s stem. With a smirk I quickened my steps a bit, positioned myself in front of Connor and turned around. Confused about me walking backwards in front of him, he stared at me while I leaned forward and put the grass-blossom-braid into a buttonhole of his coat. Grinning widely I watched how he lifted the coat a bit to have a better look at the little present of mine.  
"Well, I find it pretty", I said, still grinning and walked next to Connor again, who seemed like he didn´t know what he should think about his new jewellery. But I heard Lester chuckle behind us and I gave him a questioning look over my shoulder.

"Are you sure that you want to give an orchid just like that?", the assassin asked me with a smirk and I cocked my head. "Why not?"  
"Do you know its meaning?"  
I shook my head. I knew that it was said that particular flowers had particular meanings but I never paid attention to that. For me they were just beautiful to look at. Lester was still smirking.  
"Orchids symbolize among other things longing, passion, fertility, beauty and devotion. So it is no flower which should be given thoughtlessly. Its special."  
I blinked in surprise and felt heat rising into my cheeks. Oh great.  
I turned my head and saw how Connor took the netting out of the bottom hole and twisted it between his fingers.  
"I just found it pretty, without ulterior motive", I murmured and wanted to reach out my hand to take the flower from him, but Connor held it out of my range.  
"I take it as a compliment", he said and a faint smirk played about his lips while he still looked at the orchid.  
"Good then."  
The situation was unpleasant for me and I looked forward. So I was the first to discover a faint trail of smoke on the horizon and directed all the attention from longings and passions to the possible near end of our hike.

* * *

After we had seen the first houses on the horizon, it still took a while until we finally reached them. In the meantime it had become evening and the sun sank more and more behind the cliffs into the sea.  
"Maybe we should ask for a place to sleep", I suggested while we looked from a hill down to the accumulation of cabins. Small wooden buildings, marked by the permanent weather changes and brightly enlightened from inside. Nobody was to see outside the houses and except of the noises of the sheep, which were entirely free-range and grazing on our hill, it was almost weirdly silent.  
"It would be the best", said Lester and cocked his head. "But there´s probably no tavern here."  
"We should try it anyway. I think it would be unwise to sleep outside tonight."  
Connor was right. With the disappearance of the sun, it had become considerably colder and a dense blanket of clouds in the sky showed that it would begin to rain soon.

After the order of the assassins, I replaced the blossom-wreath with the tricorn and hid my braid underneath it, like I had done several days before. Not until then we climbed down the hill and entered the small settlement. While I stayed in the background, the two men knocked at the doors but either they weren´t opened or they were slammed shut in front of the assassin´s noses. Nobody was willing to give us shelter and even when a man didn´t close the door immediately, when he saw Connor and Lester standing in front of it, he sent us packing with rude insults, when Connor had expressed our request for a dry place to sleep. So Lester hadn´t exaggerated when he had said that the people of Unst were anything but hospitable.

The settlement consisted of six houses and when we arrived the last, we had already given up the hope that we would be successful. This house stood far offside the others and when Connor knocked at the door, an old lady opened. She eyed the two armed men in front of her door distrustfully.  
"What do you want? There´s nothing to get here, back off."  
She just wanted to shut the door, when Connor pushed his foot into the gap.  
"Please, we only want to know if there is a place where we can find a dry place to sleep. We do not want to cause any trouble."  
I glanced over the men´s shoulders and saw how the woman wrinkled her nose disapprovingly.  
"From the look of you two, I doubt that." She grabbed beside her and in a, for her age, amazingly quick speed, she let her hand rush forward and rammed a broomstick on Connor´s foot. The assassin uttered a pained noise and as soon as he had pulled away his foot, the old woman shut the door. Connor swore quietly and hobbled a few steps away from the house before he stamped his foot several times, as if the pain would vanish with that. I couldn´t hold back a laugh which didn´t escape Connor´s notice.  
"What is so funny about that?", he asked irritated.  
I shrugged my shoulders. "I would have reacted like her."  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
I raised an eyebrow and gave the men a sneering gaze. "It is pitch dark outside, there´s a knocking at the door and there stand two men with hoods on their heads and weapons at their belts. One of them possesses furthermore the boldness to block the door. Well I had grabbed for the broom, too."  
Connor snorted and stopped stamping his foot.  
"But we still don´t have a place to sleep", Lester mentioned unnecessarily and I looked back to the old lady´s house. With a sigh I took off my hat and pushed it into Connor´s hand, who looked at me almost disbelievingly when I approached the house with determined steps.  
"What is that going to be?", I heard him asking but I had already knocked.

It took a while but finally the door opened a bit and the lady frowned. Obviously she had expected one of the men. "What is it? Haven´t I made myself clear enough that I want you to leave?"  
I smiled apologetically and shortly bowed my head in respect. "Please excuse the disturbance, M´am. I´m sorry about my companion´s impoliteness. But we´ve been on the move the whole day and are really looking for a place where we can spend the night in peace. We don´t want to be a trouble to anybody."  
She looked me over from head to toe before she glanced past me to Connor and Lester, who stood a bit aside in the shadows.  
"Two hooded men with weapons and a girl in trousers. What should I think about that? Are you some sort of highwaymen?"  
"No, we´re more or less on the journey through."  
"On the journey through? On an island like this? Girl, you´re making fun of me." She looked me over again and finally opened the door a bit further. She stepped outside and pointed to a path which was leading past the house. "If you go this way, you will find an old barn. It´s roof isn´t completely tight but if it starts to rain, it is still drier in there than outside. But you should be better gone tomorrow morning."  
I smiled brightly and dropped a short curtsy. "Many thanks, M´am. You helped us a lot."  
She nodded shortly and went back into the house after we had bid farewell.

Grinning widely I returned to Lester and Connor. "If you ask politely...after me, gentlemen." With lively steps and pleased with myself, I led the way. We followed the path and soon arrived the barn the woman had spoken of. She was really quite weathered but better than nothing. We slipped inside, closed the gate behind us and I let my gaze wander through the barn. It was too dark to see much, only a few piles of old planks and old straw which were lying in the corners. We cleaned an area in the middle of the barn from the already moulded straw and arranged our place for the night there. Connor and Lester discussed who should keep watch first while I had been already freed from that. I didn´t bother me and so I pulled a blanket out of my bag, wrapped me up in it and tried to make myself comfortable on the wooden floor, using the bag as a pillow.

Lester had lain down, too while Connor leaned against a pillar, not far from me and kept his gaze directed to the door. Even though my eyes had already gotten used to the darkness, I could only make out his silhouette. The legs cocked, the arms relaxed propped onto them, the hood-freed head leaned against the pillar. He sat there totally calm and almost appeared like a statue. But I knew: If anything should happen, he would be on his feet and ready to fight immediately. So I could fall asleep without worrying and I tried to. My eyes closed and I was almost asleep when I heard the rustling of clothes. I opened my eyes and saw how Connor twitched at his coat before he slit back into his former position. But his head was slightly cocked and he looked at something small which he was twisting between his fingers. Shortly I believed to see the contours of an orchid´s blossom before my eyes finally closed from tiredness.


	34. Chapter 34

_**Hello everyone. :)**_

 _ **I feel a bit bad about not answering your reviews because I don´t want it to look like I wouldn´t appreciate them. At least I´m answering every review on the german side, too. Maybe I shouldn´t be too intimidated in "speaking" English. So I hope it´s okay if I answer them here when there is something I have or want to say about it. :)**_

 _ **To queen6404: Thank´s a lot. :) I´m so glad to hear that you like this stoy but honestly: I don´t want to keep you from your work. :D And don´t worry: I won´t interrupt this story. It´s already finished in the german version and theres even a sequel which has over 60 chapters so far and isn´t even close to be finished yet. It´s possible that I will take a break from translating because it´s hard to do sometimes but I´m a person who always finishes what she has started. ;)**_

 _ **To Foxeyes13 and the guest: And also thanks to you. :) I really appreaciate that you like this story.**_

* * *

 **Secrets of the island**

A splashing noise directly beside my ear tore me out of sleep. Mumbling quietly, I turned on my back and startled alarmed when a water drop fell directly on my closed eye. I blinked several times, rubbed over my eye with the hand and swore quietly over the burning inside of it. Not till it had stopped, I raised my head and looked up to the shabby roof of the barn. It had started to rain and of all places, I had bedded down under a hole in the roof.  
"Stroke of luck", I growled and tried to make out in the darkness, where no steady waterfall was falling at the moment. But obviously the roof was more holey than cheese because I found no spot inside the area, we had tidied up, where I wouldn´t be watered from above. Connor and Lester, who was keeping watch at the moment and seemed like he hadn´t notice that I had woken up, had been more fortunate. But I didn´t want to come too close to one of them. Not to Lester because he should practise his task without disturbance and not to Connor...well...

Sighing inwardly, I grabbed bag and blanket and stood up to look for a dry place which I could tidy up in the back of the barn. But a voice held me back.  
"Where do you want to go?"  
I turned my head towards Connor who I had taken to be asleep before. By now he was awake, had propped up himself on his arms and looked to me. In the darkness I could only see the gleam of his eyes.  
"I wanted to check if the roof is less full of holes over there." I pointed to the waterfall over my former place to sleep. Connor said nothing and so I just wanted to go to the back when he stopped me again.  
"Come here, I make room for you. It is dry here at the pillar."  
Hesitant I watched how he moved aside a bit and went towards him slowly. "Are you sure?"  
I could barely see his face but I heard him sighing quietly before he sat up a bit and took the bag out of my hand to lay it down where he had just slept himself.  
"I would prefer if you would sleep here than somewhere over there."  
Actually I would prefer that, too but I was still hesitant when I finally lay down next to him, bedded my head on the bag like before and pulled the blanket up to my neck. Connor let himself sink back, too but I heard him gasping sharply when he touched the floor with his back.  
"Are you still in pain?"  
"Only when I lie on my back", he murmured and right on cue, he turned on his side and his back to me. He almost rose in front of me like a wall and it was like always. Connor was close to me, at least only an arm length away, but nevertheless untouchable.

That the assassin didn´t allow any human closeness, I had always learned in passing over the time and had accepted it. First I had taken it personal that he obviously found it so horrible to carry me over the stream by the Davenport Homestead. Had believed that he was just a thuggish chump when I saw that he turned everyone away, who came just basically closer to him. Through a brief handshake or a touch on his arm. Also towards me he had been hesitant often enough, had tensed suddenly or had moved away when I had come closer to him. But when I thought about it, he finally had accepted it that I touched him in the end. But why? Because it had been for his benefit in this moment or he hadn´t been quite himself?  
He had danced with me because it had suited to his role on the soiree. He had kissed me because it had distracted the guards and he had stroked my cheek when he had been in fever. And now I was allowed to lie next to him because he was worried about my safety or whatever. He was avoiding me like anybody else but not when it was to his benefit. But why was I thinking about it anyway? Connor was like that. An untouchable lump of ice and maybe I should stop to proof something else to me.  
Slowly I cuddled up in my blanket, closed my eyes and forced myself to guide my thoughts to something else to fall asleep. The latter worked soon after it had become aware to me that the wooden floor beneath me was still emitting Connor´s body heat.

* * *

When I woke up the next time, the sun was gradually rising and bathed the barn in a dim morning light. With my eyes closed, I suppressed a hearty yawn and when I stretched a bit, I squinched up my face. My whole body felt stiff, every muscle struck. As if I had spent the night on a hard wooden floor.  
 _You did actually._  
Grumbling quietly I rolled to the other side and shortly opened my eyes blinking to catch a glimpse of Connor´s face, right in front of my nose. My eyes closed again and were suddenly opened wide as the just perceived image reached my mind. Connor really lay in front of me, the tip of his nose only a few centimetres away from my own. In a jerk I moved back a little but was still close enough to feel every breath of him on my face.

He was sound asleep and this image reminded me of the time when he had been in bed with fever. When the potion had helped against the pain and had made him sleep calmly. At that point I had taken him to be peaceful, completely calm and so he was now. Although he was wearing his assassin clothes and even the hidden blade on his arm.  
A faint smile flitted across my face when I saw how Connor moved his lips slightly in sleep and buried his head deeper into his arms which served him as a pillow.  
 _What might he be dreaming?_  
Slowly I reached out my hand for his face and was tempted to stroke the strand of hair from his face, which had sneaked into it. But before my fingertips could even touch him, I bit my lower lip and pulled my hand away. I thought of how he had reacted the last time I had just wanted to lay my hand on his shoulder. He had leaped up and left and I didn´t want him to behave the whole day like I had beaten him. So I laid my hands on top of each other and pushed them under my bag as if I wanted to make sure that they wouldn´t have an own life. But I couldn´t avert my eyes from Connor, at least not until I heard a noise behind me.  
The scraping of metal.

I rolled onto my back and turned my head into the direction from where the noise had come. There sat Lester, the gaze tensely directed on the barn´s door, the rapier half drawn.  
"Is something wrong?", I asked whispering and he lifted a hand. A sign that I should be quiet. I turned towards Connor again and shook him lightly at the shoulder. The assassin opened his eyes and frowned shortly as he looked at me. I put a finger to my lips and pointed to Lester.  
Connor was on alert immediately.  
Jerkily he sat up and grabbed his tomahawk, which had lain above his head. Completely silent he stood up and went to Lester. They spoke no word, just gave signals to each other. A sign towards the door, two towards their sides. Both nodded. I got a signal to.  
 _Don´t move._  
Tensed I finally sat up and watched how the two men sneaked towards the gate. Connor stood at his right side, Lester at the left. Both had their weapons firmly in their hands. It looked like they wanted to open the gate and step outside to attack whatever was out there. I hadn´t heard something so far no matter how hard I tried. I heard nothing else but the quiet dripping of water, which was still falling from the roof after the rainy night. Slowly Lester reached out a hand for the bar which locked the door, when it suddenly flew open from outside with a bang.

The assassins had to jump backwards to be not hit by it, but were poised to attack immediately. They stood there like predators ready to jump on their prey and looked firmly on what- or whoever was about to enter the barn. I could see nothing from my place, only an unclear sign from Connor into my direction. _Hide_.  
I leaped up to my feet and flitted past the pillar and into a back corner of the barn, where I hid behind a stack of old planks. Through a gap I could finally have a look at the door and tensed I held my breath when I saw four men there, who had all directed their rifles to the assassins.

"Put down your weapons. Nobody has to be harmed and we can talk to each other in peace", said a man with sparse black hair and a broad Scottish accent.  
"Do you think these are the men grandma has spoken of, Pa?" The voice of a boy.  
"Looks like it. Hoods, heavily armed...but where´s the girl who was with you?"  
"Nobody is with us", growled Connor who still had his tomahawk firmly in his hand.  
The strange man sighed theatrically. "Put down your weapons. We don´t want to waste our ammunition on you. It´s so hard to get. Ben, please have a look where the girl could be hiding."

Another tall man entered the barn and kept his rifle directed to the assassins. Connor looked like he wanted to ram his tomahawk into the man´s head but probably he would have been sifted by the other´s bullets immediately. So there was nothing else for him to do but to watch the man slowly approaching our bed from last night. With a grin he tipped his foot against the wreath of flowers, which I had fastened to my bag.  
"Pretty. So you like wearing flowers, eh? I do understand if you´re actually on the move alone."  
He moved on and slowly came closer to my hiding place. Tensed I held my breath and thought about if I could hide somewhere else but then he stood next to me and locked at me with his head cocked.  
"Well, who have we here? Such a beauty doesn´t need to hide." He grinned cheekily and indicated an exaggerated bow. "If I might ask you..."  
He gestured towards the gate where the others were standing and whether I liked it or not, I pushed myself past him and went with determination to the assassins but I was grabbed at my arm and pushed to the three strangers, who had still their weapons ready to fire.

The one, who was obviously the leader, looked me over shortly before he looked with a grim smile to Lester and Connor. "Maybe I can convince you now to drop your weapons. I don´t want to harm the lady. Surely she isn´t able to do anything about her companions." With these words he pulled me beside him but his grip was surprisingly careful, not rough like I had expected it. Now where I stood next to the men, I noticed that they didn´t angle for a confrontation. The boy, maybe fifteen years old, held the rifle in his hands tight and trembled a bit while the weapon of the man, who was the only one who hadn´t spoken yet, was totally rusted and didn´t seem to be ready for combat. Only Ben and the leader appeared confident but not confident enough to really kill people.

Nevertheless I saw how Connor and Lester put their weapons away and raised their hands and when this happened, I heard how the man next to me gave a sigh of relief. He let my arm go and indicated to me that I should go back to my companions and I did it with pleasure.  
"Are you alright?", Connor asked quietly and I nodded.  
"They aren´t dangerous", I murmured and the assassin raised an eyebrow sceptically.  
"Now that you´re obviously ready to talk, I would like to know what you want on our island and especially on my land."  
"We were only looking for a place for the night, Sir." Lester smiled friendly and the man frowned.  
"Yes, my mother already told me. But what do you want here on the island? What is the business of two armed guys like you and a girl in trousers here?"  
"We..." Lester gave Connor a look from the side but he shook his head resolutely.  
"But they might be able to help us", I murmured but Connor was still shaking his head. This stubborn fellow was only offended because they held weapons under his nose.

"We are looking for someone who can tell us something about old artefacts. I promise to you that we don´t want to cause any trouble. We will leave your land immediately, Sir."  
I ignored Connor´s silent objections. These were the only inhabitants who were talking to us. It could take an eternity until we could meet people again and these four men really didn´t appeared dangerous to me. They were ordinary people who wanted to protect their land. Maybe I would react the same.  
The leader raised an eyebrow. "Artefacts? What are you? Pirates on treasure hunt?"  
"Interested collectors."  
He examined me closely and then a smirk appeared on his face. On a sign, the men put down their weapons and their leader propped his arm on his rifle while he still looked at me.  
"I have to confess that I´m not sure about this answer. But when I look at you, Lady, it´s difficult for me to think that you´re up to devilment. Even though I don´t like your companion´s faces." He took his rifle and shouldered it before he pointed at himself and his men. "My name is Victor, the little one there is my son Marcus. These are my younger brothers Ben and Jonas. We´re sorry for ambushing you but when my mother said, that some strange fellows are sleeping in our old barn, we wanted to make sure that you´re no threat to our settlement."  
I nodded understandingly before I introduced us one after another. Victor appeared satisfied while Connor was looking at me like a child somebody had stolen its candies from. It didn´t suit him that I had taken the matter into my hands but because Lester appeared to be totally relaxed, I didn´t care. At least it seemed like we stood in front of helpful people and Victor invited us to his home because he thought that his mother could be able to help us.

So we packed our things together and followed the family back to the settlement. Connor spoke no single word but Lester couldn´t hold himself from patting my shoulder. "How do you manage it to convince people of yourself over and over again, Lillian?", he asked amused and embarrassed I shrugged my shoulders.  
"Well I...I just talk to them. As polite as I was taught."  
Chuckling the assassin shook his head. "I couldn´t even say how you have convinced me when you visited us the first time."  
"But I didn´t convince you. You refused your help."  
"And always had to think about your words, why I had changed my mind. We never would have come into the prison if you hadn´t appealed to our conscience. There´s something about you which stays in somebody´s mind and arouses trust."  
"Yes, big eyes, long lashes", growled Connor and I gave him a sneering look from the side.  
"Says the one who has the charm of a ram bow."  
The younger assassin snorted, the older chuckled and I remained with a smirk on my lips.  
Connor was right in some measure. I was woman who had learned how to use her charm beside the right words. There was nothing special about it but nevertheless I felt flattered by Lester´s words. At least somebody who appreciated me.

Inside the house of the family, we were already expected by the old lady, who had opened the door for us yesterday. She looked us over distrustfully again but as Victor expressed our request, she invited us to sit at the table with her. I thanked her on behalf of everyone for the invitation and the tea, she served up shortly afterwards. Her sons and her grandchild had gone outside because the sheep, we had seen yesterday, obviously belonged to them and needed to be tended. So we sat alone with the old table, who introduced herself as Edna, at the table and enjoyed the warm cup of tea. At least Lester and I did. Connor sat as stiff as a poker on his chair, the arms crossed and gaze directed to some spot on the dark wood of the table, what Edna noticed with a short, depreciative look. No, Connor neither had made a positive first, nor a positive second impression, but I was glad that the woman didn´t say anything about it.  
"So you want to know something about artefacts?", she asked and I nodded.  
"We heard that a special object exists on Unst which contains mystical powers."  
"Mystical powers? Girl, you shouldn´t believe in every old wives' tale you hear." She uttered a short laugh before she became serious again. "But it´s true. Ever since several generations it is told that a special treasure is hidden on the island. A stranger brought it her some day and hid it safely. They say that this man was the death, maybe even the devil himself. Nobody who lives here has ever tried to find the treasure but you´re not the only strangers who do."  
"What do you mean with it?"  
Edna´s gaze slit to Connor and Lester, before she lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip.  
"Strangers like these two?"  
She bowed her head. "Among others. I myself met a man in my youth, who wore a similar uniform like these two here. He was looking for the treasure, too but like I said before: There had been many others and all of them had been quite dubious, even though they hadn´t been dressed so strangely."  
I exchanged a look with Lester. So other assassins had also looked for the Piece of Eden but presumably they hadn´t been successful. At least Connor´s Shard of Eden had led us here. But what about the other strangers? Templars?  
"Do you know maybe, where this treasure is located? At least the island isn´t large so there could be someone who has seen something."  
Edna shook her head after my question. "Nobody knows any details and very few inhabitants even want to know something. We want to have peace and quiet and don´t want to be riddled with questions."  
Lester raised an eyebrow. "Very few? So there are people who could know something?"  
The old woman frowned and the wrinkled hands clasped firmly the cup between them. Suddenly she seemed to feel uncomfortable.  
"If you go eastwards from here, you will reach the steep coast sometime. There lives an anchorite called Noel alone with his grandson. He´s a crazy old man who always talks about some mystical things. It is even said that he knows where the treasure is hidden but I think the old man wouldn´t even know where his chamber pot is, when he´s sitting on it. But if you´re mad enough to look for this treasure, you should talk to him. But don´t expect too much."  
I nodded slowly. "Thank you for your advice."  
Edna waved aside. "Sheer self-interest. You girl seem to be alright but I don´t trust your companions. So if you plan to visit the old man, you should move off. The others of the settlement won´t be pleased when they hear that strangers are staying here."

Lester and I thanked the old lady, who really appeared more than relieved when we left her house. We bid farewell and went in the eastern direction. The coast was already visible from here, so our hike would hopefully not take as long as on the day before.  
The assassin´s grandmaster and I were totally motivated in face of our trail to the Piece. But Connor still looked grimly and slowly I began to asked myself, if that was really because I had acted against his will. Shouldn´t he be already used to it?  
While Lester went ahead, I walked next to Connor and examined him. "Are you offended because I made the people talk to us, in contrast to you?"  
A scornful expression appeared on his lips, which I would like to wipe away from there at the same moment. "You made them talk to us, because they wanted us to leave. Who knows if this old man really exists."  
"But don´t you think that one trail is better than none?"  
"Not if it is proven to be a waste of time."  
"Do you have to badmouth everything?"  
He turned towards me and frowned. "I do not. I think realistic."  
"You think pessimistic. That´s a difference. Everything cannot be always black or white, Connor. You need to have faith once." I now looked stubbornly straightforward because for me the conversation was ended with that. I didn´t feel like discussing with him. But from the corners of my eye I saw, how he was still looking me over before he increased his steps and was soon stumping a few metres in front of Lester.  
 _Stubborn ox._


	35. Chapter 35

_Hello again ^^  
_

 _Here´s the next chapter and like always: Thanks for your support. :)_

 ** _To Betterdays623:_** _Thank your for your reviews in general. I´m always happy when I get something to read from you. :) And yes, they are both quite stubborn and I think that´s why they always get into a fight. But I like that somehow. And about your question: Let me say, they are close but not close enough. ;) But from this point in the story, it won´t take so long anymore._

 ** _To DeLeche:_** _Thank you. :) I´m always glad to hear that someone likes Lillian, because she´s no assassin or something like that. I was just fantasizing of how it would look like, if Connor meets someone who somehow knows a totally different world than he does. And the final move isn´t so far away anymore. ;)_

 ** _To C:_** _Well, my English isn´t so good either, so I don´t mind. ;) Thank you for your interest in this story. And yes: I like the "new" Lillian more than the "old one", too. ;) She learned that she isn´t so weak and useless as she thought._ _  
_

 ** _To cupcakeNeko18:_** _Thank you so much. :) I really appreciate that you like the story. And well: Here´s the update. ;)_

* * *

 **New paths**

After we had crossed the landscape in the dry yesterday, the weather turned against us today. It had been circa two hours since we had left the settlement, when the sky had been darkened completely by clouds and the world around us had been bathed in grey. The wind had become colder and shortly afterwards, it began to rain in sheets. I entirely hid my hair under the hat and pulled it into my face as deep as I could. With my head lowered, I stumped after Lester, the hand placed onto the tricorn because we walked against the wind, which tried to tear my hat from my head over and over again and furthermore lashed the rain into everybody´s faces, when you raised your head only slightly. So I had no eye for my environment this time and the only thing about the hike that stuck in my mind, was the sight of my boots and the rainwater, which splashed up with every step I made. I didn´t take long until my clothes were entirely soaked through and an icy cold worked into my limbs but I tried to ignore it as good as I could.

I tried to think about something else. About warm days in the summer on my grandparent´s land when I had been a little girl. Behind their house had been a lake and I had loved to spend my days with swimming and lying in the sun to get dry afterwards. To enjoy its warming rays, at least until my governess came and shooed me back into the shadow. Young skin would be so sensitive and in my early twenties I would look into my mirror and notice that I looked like I was in my early forties, if I expose myself to the sun. At that time I had been six years old and I had still liked it to lie in the sun. Now I was in the midst of my twenties and in my opinion, the sunbathing hadn´t harmed my skin at all. But today I smirked about the reputedly wise advices. Many of them were just ridiculous in retrospect but somehow I had always submitted to them. But that was normal if everybody was telling you: We know what´s good for you.  
But would all these do-gooder see now, how I was walking around in trousers, through the worst rain and with two heavily armed men by my side...well they would probably fling up their hands in horror. I already heard Theresa saying: _Child, I didn´t invest my time in your education for that._  
Or she would complain that I wasn´t hiking on a more populated island because at least I would have the chance to met men, except of the present ones. They wouldn´t "be appropriate to my class" but certainly for Theresa, every man was better than one of the two assassins.

Right on cue, they stopped now and because I actually distracted myself well enough, I barged into Lester who could catch me just in time with a "Whoops", as I nearly fell into the mud next to him. I thanked him, straightened up and blinked against the wind to see what had made the men stop.  
"What´s wrong?"  
Connor didn´t answer but pointed to a spot in the distance.  
 _Thank you very much for this helpful answer._  
I started another try to see something and I really thought to detect the silhouettes of two buildings in a distance of a few miles.  
"Do you think that the anchorite lives there?", I asked and only got a shrug of the shoulders from Connor. Either he had his silent phase at the moment, or he was still offended. The latter was quite probable.  
Luckily there was still Lester who didn´t shared the irritating characteristics of his assassin brother.  
"Let´s go and find out", he said, pulled his hood deeper into his face and walked on. We others followed and I contended myself with keeping my head down again and watching the little waterfalls which poured down from the brim of my hat. I hoped devoutly that we would meet this anchorite and that Connor wasn´t right after all with his suspicion that Edna had lied to us. If it was like that, we would be without a trail again.  
 _And a roof over the head wouldn´t be bad either._

I didn´t even try to distract myself from the cold in my limbs this time. Instead I concentrated on my feet because the more the ground became muddy, the more I had the feeling that my boots stuck in it. When I lifted my feet for the next step, they were sucked in and when I managed it to lift them, sounded always a smacking noise which made me screw up my face. I became so slowly sometime, that Connor and Lester, who seemed to be totally undisturbed by the weather, departed from me more and more. Blinking I glanced forwards and tried to estimate how far we had to go from now on. Luckily the houses were clear to see yet and through the noise of the rain, I even believed to hear the breakers, which rocked against the distant coast. But I also heard something else. The barking of a dog that seemed to come nearer.

Both assassins had already stopped but I caught up with them and together we looked along the path in front of us. At first it was hardly visible but then finally the shape of a dog appeared that stopped in front of us, growling and with raised hackles.  
"Er...is it here to scare us off?" I looked down to the dog whose body size didn´t even reach to my knees. It had a long, curly fur, which was now hanging in wet strands over its body and big, brown eyes, which appeared almost too big for its delicate head. Although it was growling and baring its teeth, it didn´t look quite frightening.  
"Maybe it will run away if you growl back, Connor." I couldn´t hold back this needling, as I saw how the younger assassin was looking down to the dog with raised eyebrows. Probably he only had to kick the animal slightly with his foot and it would fly away. At least our four-legged friend seemed to believe that it was taller than it really was. Now the growling became a loud, energetic barking and the dog began to jump back and forth in front of our feet as if it wanted to make clear to us, that there was no way past it. It would had been cute if it wouldn´t be so annoying at the same time.  
"Back off!" I made a step forward and tried to shoo the animal but the dog only jumped forward and sank its teeth into my shoe. Appalled I shook my foot back and forth but this damn animal had an amazingly firm bite which luckily didn´t go through the leather.  
"Might you help me?", I asked the assassins angrily. They stood and watched while I had begun to lift the foot, the dog was hanging at, and hopped on one leg on the spot.  
"Try to growl at it", Connor teased and he looked like he found this situation quite amusing. Just as Lester, who obviously had to hold back a laugh, before he leaned down to the dog, grabbed its nape and picked it up from my foot. His arm outstretched, he held the animal away from himself, which was writhing in his grip like a snake, protesting loudly.  
"Let the dog down!"  
We turned around quickly when a voice sounded behind us and found us in front of a ten years old boy who trained a rifle on us with a grim face. He was thin, wore clothes which were too large for him and his half long blonde hair hang in his face in strands. Like his dog he didn´t looked frightening. He was a child. But a child who appeared determined to use the weapon in its hands. Lester slowly sat the stubborn dog to the ground, which ran to the boy immediately and built up itself next to him in a threatening pose.

"What do you want here?", the little one asked and appeared unsure at whom of us he should aim first.  
"We´re looking for a man called Noel. Can you tell us, where we can find him?" Lester had raised his hands in a reassuring gesture and took a step towards the boy, whose rifle flicked to the grandmaster immediately.  
"He´s my grandfather. What do you want from him?"  
"We only want to ask him some questions. You don´t have to be afraid." Now the weapon was trained on me.  
"Who can tell me that I can trust you? Even Ale doesn´t like you."  
Ale. Obviously the dog, whose animal ability to judge character could become our undoing, like it seemed. If Connor didn´t get in ahead of him.

While I felt a bit overtaxed in face of the fact, that we were threatened by a child with a weapon, whose dog took himself for a bullterrier, the assassin made a small step forward, whereupon he got into the sight of the rifle and crouched down. I as well as the boy and Ale looked at him in confusion, how he sat there and looked apparently relaxed into the barrel. Was there a trick I didn´t know yet? If the boy had a nervous finger, Connor would find himself with a third nostril. But it seemed like he didn´t care about it. Slowly he reached out his hand for the dog, who had finally stopped barking and looked with his head cocked to the hooded man, who obviously hadn´t been impressed by his behaviour. But while I was seriously worried, that the dog could jump into Connor´s face in every moment, he left his place next to his owner and sneaked with a lowered head to the assassin. Timidly he stretched and began to sniff the hand which was reaching out to him. In a jerk he pulled his head back again, uttered a short noise and then finally trudged to Connor, who started to pat his head.

The blonde boy had watched his dog´s change of sides with his mouth opened and had lowered the rifle. "Ale, you cannot go to a stranger just like that! We need to be careful."  
But his dog had finally abandoned all care. Panting quietly he had sat down in the mud and obviously enjoyed the attention Connor was giving to his ears. The assassin raised his head and looked at the boy in front of him. "Ale has a good instinct. He is brave and protects you. Animals have a sense for the human intention and if I had wanted to harm him, he wouldn´t have come to me. You do not need to be afraid of me or the others. But if you do not want to trust us, you should have faith in Ale at least."  
The gaze of the boy slit to his dog and he looked like it was working inside of him. But would he be convinced because his dog allowed a stranger to stroke him? I doubted that this should be a symbol that nobody of us wouldn´t take out a weapon in every moment. But while I doubted Connor´s approach, the boy obviously came to a decision. With pinched lips, he shouldered the rifle and examined Connor. "I know that Ale is a smart dog. But should you try something anyway, I will shoot you."  
Connor straightened up slowly and I heard in his voice that he was smirking. "That´s your right."  
The boy nodded grimly, whistled after his dog and went ahead.

When Connor turned around, I must be looking at him as if he were a golden calf because he slightly cocked his head and looked at me questioningly. "What is it?"  
"Nothing. I´m...just surprised. From us three I never expected that you are the one who´s solving this situation."  
The corners of Connor´s mouth twitched upwards as he finally began to follow the boy and Lester. I followed suit but I looked at him from the side from time to time, what seemed to amuse him.  
"What is it exactly, you are wondering about? That this time you were not the one who softened somebody up with words?"  
"Shall I answer honestly? Yes, a bit. I never expected that from you. Furthermore it could have gone wrong. What would you have done, if the calf-biter would have attacked you nevertheless or if the boy would have exerted the trigger?"  
Connor frowned but without losing the smirk on his lips. I didn´t understand what had been so funny about my words.  
"First of all, I meant what I said about animals. I think you are underestimating the 'calf-biter', if you are blinded by his behaviour. You had to approach him frontally and he was right to attack you."  
I frowned. So it was my fault now, that the boy hadn´t taught his dog some manners?  
"And about the situation in general..." Now he turned his face towards me and this time, the amused expression was unmistakable. "Everything cannot be always black and white, Lillian. You need to have faith once."  
Oh great. Now this guy had checkmated me with my own words. At least I didn´t know what to answer and so it was good that we reached the two buildings, we had already seen from the distance, in this moment. It was a barn and a small house, both built of coarse beaten stone, which looked robust enough to withstand the weather on the island. Fine smoke rose from the house´s chimney and in an instant, I became aware again of how cold I was and I was glad about the chance of a warm fire. But at the same time I hoped that we would be even welcomed. But I tried to not give up this hope as the boy opened the house´s door and led us into a small living room. In the fireplace crackled a fire, a pot with the delicious smell of stew hanging over it. My stomach began to rumble instantly because today on the way here, I had eaten nothing more than a despicably piece of jerky. Not quite a nutritious meal, but stew...  
I tried not to stare to the fire too obviously, as the boy called for his grandfather and shortly afterwards, an old man came out of a adjoining room.

His white hair reached down to his back. He had a long white beard and a time marked face. But his blue eyes were keen and attentive as he looked us three over.  
"Who did you bring here, Caleb?", he asked the boy but I couldn´t hear anything unfriendly in his voice. He sounded honestly interested.  
"They came along the coast´s path. Ale detected them but they didn´t want to go when I told them. But I think their alright, at least it´s Ale´s opinion." He appeared as if this had been aware to him right from the beginning, when he pointed proudly to his dog, which had sat down peacefully and panted. "The weird woman said that they want to ask you some questions."  
"Is that so?" The old man stepped to his grandson and put him a hand on the shoulder while he was looking at us. "And what is it, I can do for you?"  
My gaze slit to the assassins. Connor stood there with his arms crossed and examined the man while Lester was looking at me. Obviously it was on me to talk. Sighing inwardly I made a step forward and bowed my head shortly. "We don´t want to cause any trouble, Sir. We´re looking for a man called Noel and we heard that he lives here somewhere."  
The man nodded. "I´m Noel, but what can I do for you?"  
"We hoped that you can tell us something about the treasure on this island."  
A smirk curled Noel´s lips and he patted the shoulder of his grandson. "Caleb, would you look after Cherry, please. I think she needs a bit more food."  
The boy looked at his grandfather, protesting but he pushed off mumbling and left the house with his dog, which wagged his tail when he went past Connor. As soon as the door had closed behind the dog, Noel pointed to the table in the middle of the room and invited us to sit down. We followed the invitation and as he offered stew to us, we accepted thankfully.

So we sat bowed over steaming bowls shortly afterwards and gradually, the cold began to leave my body. While we were eating silently, our host had an eye on us the whole time but it didn´t felt like he was unfriendly or distrustful. His gaze was knowing and as he finally began to speak, I almost choked on the hot stew.  
"So you´re looking for the Piece of Eden?", he asked straightforwardly and the two assassin raised their heads, too. Noel chuckled as he looked into three completely surprised faces.  
"I already met some seekers, so I´m not surprised about your appearance."  
I exchanged a look with Connor and Lester, who put his spoon aside and tensely bowed forward.  
"Please, Sir. It´s of paramount importance that you tell us what you know. We´re not the only ones who are looking for the Piece and if it gets into the wrong hands..."  
"I know that it mustn´t get into the wrong hands. That´s exactly why I won´t tell you where it is."  
My heart sank while a smile was still playing about the old man´s lips.  
"Please, Sir. You don´t know how important this matter is." Lester´s voice was vivid but Noel wasn´t impressed by it because he shook his head.  
"The Piece needs to be protected and that´s why I can´t tell anyone where it is. Too many were looking for it with the wrong intention and used your words in doing so."  
"What is so special about it that it has to be so protected? What is all this about?", I asked and the old man gave me a wide smile.  
"It is the Shroud, my dear. The Shroud that heals diseases and wounds and even the dead it can bring back into life. It´s said that Jesus Christ himself became alive again through the Shroud."  
I raised an eyebrow. Was the old man joking about me? "That´s impossible. There´s nothing that could undo the death. Furthermore you should better be careful with your words about Christ. It could be interpret as heresy too quickly."  
Now Noel appeared amused and raised both hands in a calming manner. "I´m just saying that this is told for ages. No matter how this story has happened, the Shroud´s abilities are existent and I think it´s obvious why so many people are looking for it. To possess the power over life and death is tempting and many desire it for their own, mostly power-thirsty, reasons. But why are you looking for it?"  
I faltered but the answer was quickly aware to me. "We want to protect it like you. We know that someone is after it, who surely wants it only because of his greed and thirst for power."  
"But is it not tempting to you, to use it for your own goods?" He cocked his head slightly and my gaze slit to Lester who tensely grinded his teeth. The grandmaster hoped to use the Piece himself. For him and the brotherhood and if it was able to heal wounds and bring back the dead, it would be useful for the assassins. They would be able to safe their brothers who will fall in battle in the future. But was that really a wrong motive?

Noel leaned back and gave us three, one after another, a scrutinizing look. "If you really want to protect it, I will make an offer to you."  
We looked at him expectantly.  
"I will tell you what I know. But only if you stay here and help me for a while."  
"What is that supposed to mean?" For the first time since I knew him, Lester´s voice sounded irritated and I scrutinized him. His fists were clenched under the table and every fibre of his body seemed to be tensed. Connor noticed it, too. Frowning he looked at the grandmaster, before his attention slit to the old man again, who continued to speak smiling.  
"I´m an old man. My grandson is a great help, but only a child. I suggest to you that you stay here, help me and when I think that the time is right, I´m going to tell you what you need to know to find the Shroud."  
Silence spread shortly between us until suddenly Lester leaped up and struck his fist on the table. "That´s ridiculous! Tell us immediately what you know, old man!"  
I had never seen the assassin so frantic before and was almost shocked. He stared at the old man as if he wanted to force him to an answer by force of arms. But before he could do this, Connor had stood up, grabbed his arm and pulled him outside without saying a word. I gave Noel an apologizing look before I followed them quickly.

Connor had let Lester go a bit offside the house where the grandmaster paced back and forth like a predator.  
"That´s a waste of time", he growled. "The old man is making fun of us. He knows something but he prefers to play games with us. We should make him speak."  
"We will not make anybody doing anything."  
I stood next to Connor, who kept an eye on the older assassin with crossed arms. Lester stopped and gesticulated angry to the house. "So you rather want to make a fool of yourself? Do as he says while the templars are still making their plans somewhere else? We could end it soon. We could get the Shroud and bring it somewhere, where the templars can´t get it."  
"And what do you want to do with it?" Connor was frowning deeply now and first, Lester didn´t look like he had no answer to this question. Several times he opened and closed his mouth before he snorted angrily. "Do you want to tell me that you want to accept the deal? To waste your time? What if the old man is lying? What if we do as he says and he breaks his word? He´s playing with us."  
Connor didn´t answer but looked at me now. "What do you think, Lillian?"  
I pulled my lower lip through my teeth and looked back to the house thoughtfully. I didn´t know what to think. For me Noel didn´t look like he had bad intentions. In the contrary. He was totally serious about his words and even though I didn´t know exactly what I should think about the offer: I understood Lester. He was worried. He didn´t want to waste time but right now he looked too grim. Like I had never seen him before. But was it really wrong to accept the offer? Although it would require some time, we would finally learn what we needed to know and until now the templars weren´t after us. Nobody knew that we were here.

"I think we should accept. I don´t believe that he lied to us and one or two days surely won´t set us back too much."  
Connor nodded while Lester stared at us unbelievingly. "You can´t be serious. Connor, we could..."  
"We will not do anything", Connor interrupted the grandmaster determined. "I do not trust the old man, too but if Lillian says that she does, I will trust her. We need to take every opportunity we can get."  
I gave him a look from the side and felt almost honoured that he really valued my opinion. It seemed like Lester didn´t this time. He was seething with anger and laughed sneeringly.  
"Well, if you want to be cheated, I don´t mind. I won´t waste my time. So if you want to stay here, do it. I will keep searching on my own."  
Determined he adjusted his hood, turned around and went back the path we had come from. I just wanted to run after him, but Connor held me back.  
"Let him", he said completely calm and looked after his assassin-brother.  
"But we can´t leave him alone."  
"We have to. He chose a path I do not want to follow him on."  
Uncomprehending I looked at him and Connor returned my gaze shortly, before he turned towards the house. "He no longer wants to find the Shroud, because he only wants to protect it from the templars. He wants to use it himself."  
"He wants to safe his men."  
Connor looked at me seriously. "With every possible effort, yes. But nobody should possess such a power. No matter for whatever intentions."


	36. Chapter 36

**Seeing sense is the first step...**

When we returned into the house and told Noel, that we were going to stay, the old man was very pleased. He didn´t asked about our companion and I gave him a great credit for it. That the grandmaster had left just like that had dealt me a blow. I hadn´t expected that, because he had always seemed equable to me. I had never thought that he could lose his patience, but obviously his concern about the brotherhood had driven him so far. I just hoped that he hadn´t acted too rashly and that he stayed unharmed until we would meet again. Until then I could do nothing else but hope that I had made the right decision, when I had said that I believed in Noel´s words.

After our return, he ordered us to go to Caleb in the barn so that he could show us our room for the upcoming nights. It was only in the early afternoon but the cloud cover had finally swallowed the sun whole, so that I really had the feeling that I could fall to bed immediately. If one was awaiting us. A possibility to become dry again wouldn´t be so bad either. The stew had warmed me up but I was still soaked through to the bones. Nevertheless I dared to leave the house again and stumped with Connor through the pouring rain to the barn. It was amazingly warm and dry inside, even though I needed to become used to the stable smell. A single oil lamp hang at a wall where some leather laces, pieces of harnesses and ropes hang. Obviously there were one or several horses here but I couldn´t say where they were. The only box here seemed to be empty. Just as there was no sign of Caleb.

I almost came to the conclusion that he wasn´t here, as suddenly a bustling something ran out of the slightly opened boy and jumped up at Connor. Ale, who didn´t deign to look at me. But where the dog was, the boy couldn´t be far away and really: A blonde shock of hair appeared where the dog had come from and looked at us curiously. "Did grandfather send you?"  
Connor nodded. "We are going to stay for a while and he said that you could show us where we can sleep."  
Caleb frowned and pointed with a brush, he held in his hands, to me. "Is she going to stay, too?" That sounded anything but excited and I knitted my eyebrows disapprovingly. Whatever I had done to the boy, he didn´t seem to like me. Because I hadn´t moved closer to his too large rat of a dog?

The boy didn´t expect an answer anyway, because he had turned towards the box again and told us over his shoulder: "I finish grooming Cherry, then I´ll come."  
I frowned. Who or what did he want to groom? The box was empty. Curious I stepped closer and as I glanced over the box´s wall, my mouth stayed open with amazement. Caleb was really grooming a horse, but a tiny one with a tubby belly. Maybe it´s shoulders only reached to my hip and its hooves were as large as a palm of a hand. But what it was lacking of size, it made up with a lot of hair. Shaggy, russet fur and a likewise shaggy black mane, whose tuft was hanging down to the horse´s nostrils and covered its eyes almost completely. I couldn´t remember if I had ever seen such a strange animal. Connor, who had stepped next to me, also appeared surprised. Caleb looked up from his work shortly and when he noticed our gazes, he suddenly grinned widely.  
"So you also belong to the strangers who have never seen a Shetland pony before? Even though they are running free in herds over the island."  
"If we saw some, we must have thought that they were sheep." At least I couldn´t remember that we had met animals which had looked even slightly like horses.  
"What are you doing with such a tiny horse? You can´t ride on it, can you?"  
Caleb looked at me frowning and shook his head. "I used to ride on Cherry often but by now I´m too tall. But they are our pack animals on the island. They have stamina, are tough and strong. Once, Cherry carried two baskets full of stones from the coast up to here." Proudly he stretched his shoulders and patted the tiny horse´s croup, which was chewing calmly on its hay.

Slowly I pushed myself into the box and kneeled down in front of the tiny horse, under the distrustful eyes of the boy. I reached out my hand carefully and stroked Cherry´s tuft a bit aside, so that I could look into her big brown eyes, which were looking at me totally calm before the mare nudged me with her nose and hummed quietly. A smile flitted across my face. Obviously I didn´t appear as deterrent on animals as I thought I did after the situation with Ale. "How´s it going, little cherry?" I tickled the smooth nose and lifted my head shortly to grin at Connor, because I just had got an amusing thought.  
"Imagine you would sit on her. Maybe you could rather carry her than she could carry you." But even if I would dare to sit on Cherry´s back, I surely could walk on my own feet with her.  
Connor looked the tiny mare over and shook his head smirking. "I think I do not even want to try it."  
"And Cherry isn´t a toy!" The gaze, Caleb was giving to me, was so punishing, that I raised my hand in a defensive manner. The little one acted like I had asked how Cherry could taste as sausage.  
I patted the horse one more time before I left the box again so that Caleb couldn´t keep looking daggers at me. The boy put the brush aside grimly, tickled Cherry shortly and left the box, too, which he locked carefully behind him.

He gave us a signal that we should follow him and led us over a narrow staircase, in the other end of the barn, under the roof which obviously had been extended. Behind a door at the landing was a small living room with a cupboard, a table and a bed.  
"Here lived a farmhand some time ago as my grandfather still had been a fisherman. Now the room is vacant but I can bring you blanket and pillow for the bed." Caleb glanced at us from the side. "Are you married? We only have this bed."  
In face of this question, I looked at him disbelievingly and shook my head firmly while my cheeks felt suspiciously hot again. "What makes you think that?"  
Caleb shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I think adults only share a bed when they are married, or do they not?"  
Well, what a smart tot. He wasn´t wrong somehow, but it didn´t give him the right to ask this question. He was a young boy and this was not his business.  
"I think in your age, you shouldn´t worry about that." I smiled smugly, principally to hide my embarrassment and crossed my arms in front of my chest while I looked to the bed. Somehow I lost my anticipation of one.  
The blonde boy shrugged his shoulders again and looked at Connor with a gaze, I could only call precocious. "I wouldn´t have married her either. She´s quite strenuous."  
Stunned and with open mouth I looked after him, as he left the room, while Connor cleared his throat, as if he had to suppress a laugh. It seemed like I had the joke on my side again but I didn´t like it at all. Angry I stumped to the open door, shut it and stayed with my arm leaned against it, while I took the tricorn from my head with the other hand and slapped it against my thigh in an irregular pace. "How old is he? Ten? Since when is a ten-years-old so cheeky? I would have been put over one´s knees, if I had talked to an adult like that."  
The slapping stopped and I looked at Connor, hoping that he would agree with me. Only that I wouldn´t be alone in my embarrassment about Caleb´s words. But the assassin only cleared his throat again before he answered diplomatically. "I think the both of you hadn´t a good start."  
I snorted indignantly. "I didn´t do anything to him."  
"You shook his dog with your foot."  
"Because this beast...animal attacked me!"  
Connor pushed the hood from his head and gave me an amused look before he nodded into the direction of the bed. "If it reassures you: I will sleep on the floor. You can have it."  
My indignation faded only slightly, when he reminded me of this "problem" and determined I shook my head.  
"You´re still wounded. You shouldn´t sleep on the floor."  
"But I will not let you sleep on the floor."  
"I won´t let you either."  
Connor frowned and now I was the one, who smirked in amusement. So we were against each other with our conflicting opinions again. But I had to admit defeat in the evening, because Connor kept insisting that he, as the man, had to sleep on the floor and let me, as the woman, have the comfortable bed. To share it had never been under discussion because Caleb had been right on this point. You shared a bet if you were married or lived in another relationship. Everything else wasn´t respectable even though we had already shared the floor. But a bed...was a bed and this one wasn´t quite large so that you wouldn´t lay wide apart. That Connor let me have it honoured him but I had a bad conscience at the same time. He was the one of us who was wounded. Although it seemed like he felt better from day to day, I was always worried when he screw up his face only slightly. I just didn´t want to begrudge him to rest at night if he wasn´t able to do so during the day. But Connor had firmly stuck to his principles and so I had given in. No matter how strenuous I maybe was, I didn´t felt like having a discussion about a bed.

Nevertheless I asked several times, if he felt reasonably comfortable, when I sat cross-legged on the bed and watched Connor carefully taking off his weapons and putting them availably close. Caleb had brought one blanket and pillow each and Connor had prepared his bedding on the floor, right next to the bed and when he finally lay down, he gave me a reassuring gaze. "I am alright."  
I nodded slowly while I chewed on my lower lip and searched for the smallest sign of pain on his face. But it became unpleasant for me that he returned my gaze so calmly and so I finally lay down myself, not without extinguish the lamp on the table before.  
Lying on my back, I stared in to the darkness and before I could prevent it, my thoughts wandered to Lester again. Where had he gone to?  
I sighed quietly, turned to the side and crawled to the edge of the bed to look down to Connor. The moon was full and so the light, which fell through the small cracks in the roof, enlightened the room enough to make out the silhouette of the assassin. He lay on the side, his eyes opened and directed into the darkness.  
"Connor? May I ask you something?"  
I could see how he blinked several times, before he turned on his back and looked up to me.  
"Of course."  
Slowly I rolled onto my belly, laid my arms on each other in front of me and bedded my head on them, while I was still thinking about of how I should formulate this question. I didn´t know which answer I was hoping for or better to say, what I wanted to do with an answer. Maybe calm myself?  
"Do you really think that it would be wrong, if Lester uses the Shroud for himself? He don´t want to do something bad, he only wants to help his brothers. Just imagine he could safe those who get wounded or killed during a fight against the templars! Nobody would have to die in fight."  
"Nobody except of templars or those who cannot benefit from the Shroud." Connor sat up, crossed his legs and propped one arm onto the bed. His gaze was totally serious, but his voice was calm.  
"Who has the right to decide who lives and who dies? Whose life is more worthy? To kill someone is nothing you should do thoughtlessly. But to cheat the death to let others die is wrong. The death is something definite and nobody should have the right to change that."  
I mulled over every single word of him and knew that he was saying the truth. Apart from the story of Easter, it was unnatural to call the dead back into life, although their death maybe had been senseless. Connor was right. No life was more worthy than another but there was still something I asked myself.  
"But wouldn´t it appeal to you to have this power? Imagine you could rescue someone who is close to you. Wouldn´t you do it? Imagine you...could have rescued your mentor."  
Even in the faint light I could see that Connor was struggling for an answer. First he frowned but then his gaze slit thoughtfully back to the ground and finally he looked at me again.  
"Honestly, I do not know what I would do", he said quietly.

* * *

During the following days I could barely think further about Lester and the Piece of Eden because Noel really roped us in for several tasks, right from the first day on. Had I instantly assumed naively that there wasn´t much to do out here and in this environment, I was put right quickly. Because the island was so sparsely populated, separated from the mainland and didn´t offer much food, the most part of work during a day was about that there was always enough to eat. For the people as well as for the animals. Grandfather and grandson had compiled an herb and vegetable garden behind the house, which now, in summer, was offering much root vegetable that was made into stew or food for the horse in the evening. I had never paid attention to farming or something similar before but I quickly noticed how calming it could be to sit in a vegetable patch, to weed, to harvest turnips or to dig the ground over. I enjoyed this kind of work and I also fulfilled every tasks Noel gave me inside the house without moaning. My head had no problems with the unusual work but my body was soon saying something else. Right after the first day I had the first blisters on my hands which however weren´t bothering me in the beginning. But as my blisters began to get blisters, every small movement became a painful torture, which I tried to ignore as good as I could. I forbid myself to wail or to let my tasks slide while the others were doing their own but sometime, I couldn´t hide my abused hands anymore. When Connor had unfortunately noticed one evening, how I had applied an herb paste on the sore spots with quiet lamentation, he had instantly reacted shocked and had thought that I had hurt myself. But as I had ground my teeth and explained to him, that my hands were just too spoiled to be used in work, he had forced the promise out of me, to tell him when a task became too exhausting for me.

From this day on he always kept a watchful eye on me and even though I had always been irritated about his almost obsessive wish to protect me from the templars, I was now touched that he obviously was also concerned about my general well-being. It was a side of him he hadn´t shown yet or which I maybe just hadn´t seen. By now I had the feeling that I got to know him different than usual, now that we weren´t mainly busy with the search for the Shroud anymore. Not more relaxed, because I often saw how his gaze slit observantly into the distance, but not as tensed as usual. Our next action was out of our hands. We had to wait until Noel decided to help us and so we let the time pass by and came to rest in this way.

Four days had passed like that, when Connor, Caleb and I went for a walk along the coast. It was an amazingly warm day in face of that we were so far in the north. The sun shined down from a blue sky and warmed the usual cold sea air up. It was pleasant and after the last days full of work, I was glad about the short time out, Noel had allowed us. I had rolled up the sleeves of my shirt and taken off the boots and enjoyed the feeling of the warm sunlight on my skin and the smooth grass under my feet, while I was dreamily tickling the ears of Cherry, who was stumping next to me and tore off a tuft of grass from time to time and chewed on it with relish.  
I had to chuckle about Caleb, who was excitedly jumping around Connor and tried to convince him to shoot with his bow on something, because the assassin had his weapons with him like always. The objection, that there was nothing to shoot on and that Connor didn´t want to waste his arrows, didn´t impress Caleb at all. Over and over again he began to beg and I gave the assassin a great credit for staying so patient and keeping his faint smile. Even when Ale was infected by his little master´s excitement and jumped in front of the assassin´s feet sometime. Both of them, the boy and the dog, really idolized Connor while I was still eyed up with light displeasure. But I had already gotten used to it and was rather amused about it than angry.

Finally the blonde boy gave up his try to convince Connor, as we decided to stop for a rest on a meadow close to the cliff. Now he played with his dog, chased him over the meadow and I had never seen a dog you could actually play tag with. Every time Caleb caught Ale, the boy doubled back and then was chased by his dog until Ale could jump up at him and stormed away again. I sat down into the grass and watched this spectacle with amusement while Connor stood and kept an eye on our environment. I had to blink against the sun and shielded my eyes from the bright light with my hand as I looked up to him. "Everything is alright. Nothing to see, so why don´t you sit down?"  
He looked down to me, nodded slowly and sat down next to me, his gaze now turned to Caleb and Ale. "It is difficult to trust the peace if you are asking yourself the whole time, what is awaiting you", he said and I drew up my legs to bed my head on my knees while I followed his gaze.  
"That´s correct. But I think that it won´t take so long anymore, until Noel tells us what he knows about the Shroud. Until then, we should enjoy the peace. I mean, there´s not much where someone could lie in wait for us." I smirked as I made a vague gesture towards the distant view the island was offering.  
"Maybe you are right."

Silently we watched the game between dog and child and the easiness, the two of them were exuding, was actually making it easier to forget every worry. Sometime they came to us and Caleb fell on his back into the grass, while Ale trudged to Connor and let him tickle his belly panting.  
"Now I´m hot", groaned the boy and I smirked.  
"Take a cool bath then."  
I meant these words as a joke but the boy rolled onto his belly and grinned widely.  
"A good idea for a weird woman." He still called me that, even though he already knew my name of course.

Caleb leaped up to his feet, took off his shirt and before we knew what happened, he had run towards the cliff and I cried out quietly as he jumped over the edge. In an instant I was on my feet, stormed towards the cliff and could barely see how the boy landed down in the water with a loud splash. Shortly afterwards his blond hair appeared between the waves and he laughed lively.  
"Are you tired of living?", I shouted down to him and he looked up.  
"Why? It isn´t high and there are no rocks here, you could hit. I always do it like that."  
He always did it like that? A ten year old boy always jumped circa five metres down into the water just like that? I almost believed I would renounce my faith but obviously Caleb wasn´t the only one with questionable bathing methods.

First I heard a rattle behind me, then the rustling of clothes and when I turned around, I appalled looked to Connor, who had removed his weapons, outer clothing and boots and stood next to me to look down to the water.  
"Don´t tell me you want to do that, too."  
But I had barely said that, when Connor started to take a head dive and landed inside the water next to Caleb shortly afterwards. Now the two of them were swimming down there and let themselves be rocked back and forth by the shallow waves, while they looked up to me.  
"Now you have to dare to do it, weird woman!", Caleb shouted up cheekily and I tipped my forehead.  
"I´m not as insane as you are."  
"You´re just a coward."  
I snorted. The nerves of this boy.

Determined I shook my head and withdrew from the cliff´s edge. They could do whatever they wanted. Slowly I sank back into the grass again, lay down on my back and closed my eyes as the sun shined into my face. Next to me I heard the chewing of Cherry and the panting of Ale, who had withdrawn into the shadow, the body of the small mare was casting. A smile flitted across my face because I enjoyed these peaceful moments beyond all measure and I almost fell asleep, as a water drop fell onto my cheek. Blinking I opened my eyes, expecting that it had begun to rain, but there stood Connor, bending over me, the hands propped onto his knees. I hadn´t heard him coming and he had been clever enough to stand in a way with that he didn´t cast a shadow on me. I looked him over with distrust while Caleb appeared behind him. When both of them began to grin whimsically, it wasn´t quite inspiring confidence and I sat up.  
"What is it?"  
"You should try the water. It is really pleasant." Connor reached out his hand to me and I looked at it, as if it was a poisonous snake.  
"I don´t think so."  
"She´s a coward, like I said!", Caleb squealed and jumped merrily from one leg onto the other.  
"I´m just sentimentally about my life. That has nothing to do with cowardice."  
Connor chuckled and pointed to the cliffs. "Believe me. Nothing can happen. If you want it, we will jump together."  
"Or we throw you down."  
Connor shook his head but this mischievous sparkle in his eyes said something different.

I stood up, sought refuge behind Cherry and pointed threateningly back and forth between Caleb and Connor. "If you only come to one single, stupid thought, I will show you how strenuous I can really become!"  
They exchanged a short gaze and as the shrugged their shoulders, I really thought that I had got rid of them. But then they suddenly ran towards me, one from the left, the other from the right side.  
"Ohhhh, no!" I had to laugh but took flight before Caleb could grab my arm. I ran and heard them coming after me. From time to time, the boy shouted amused that I shouldn´t be such a coward but I surely wouldn´t let them get me into the water. We raced crisscross over the meadow and as I thought, they would give up, I was grabbed by my hip and lifted onto two strong arms.  
"Connor! Let me down or I will take your tomahawk and hit it around your ears at the next opportunity!"  
But as much as I kicked about, the assassin kept me firmly in his grip and carried me towards the cliff with quick steps.  
"Is that how you treat a woman?", I tried it again, as I caught a short glimpse down to the sea. "I don´t want that."  
"Stretch your feet and put your head against my chest, then nothing will happen. I will hold you, I promise." His grin had become an honest smile and I pushed my lower lip forward. When he told me, that nothing could happen, I believed him but...it wasn´t fair! These were five metres! At least.  
"I´m not dressed for..." The rest of the sentence was drowned in a shrill scream, as Connor really jumped from the cliff and flew towards the sea in a stretched jump. With me on his arms.

Just out of reflex, I did what he had told me, before we struck the water. The assassin released me underwater so that I could struggle to the surface on my own, where I came up snorting and stroke some strands of hair out of my face.  
"Are you alright?" Connor swam next to me and shortly he seemed to have a bad conscience after all.  
"Yoouuu..." I narrowed my eyes before I swung back with my arms and struck him with a wave of water into the face. Snorting he wiped over his eyes and as he heard, that I had begun to laugh, a grin spread over his face.  
"I will take revenge sometime, I swear!"

Even though I had been afraid of the jump, I couldn´t do anything else but laugh about the situation, because it had been not as worse as I had thought. In the meantime Caleb had also come to the surface next to us and he got a wave of water into his face, too for what he immediately got his revenge. A real water fight flared up between us three and I asked myself, when I last had been so lively in my life. Probably as a child because we were nothing else but three children chasing each other around in the water, pushing us down and competing each other in swimming. If someone of London would see me like this, he probably would crinkle his nose, but I didn´t care at the moment. It was fun to forget all the adult seriousness just for the moment and again I was pleasantly surprised about Connor. I had never thought that he would have a funny side and I couldn´t hold myself from grinning, as I watched how he and Caleb put on a duel to find out, who of them could dive longest.

We spend some time in the water like that until Caleb announced that he was too cold and climbed out of the water. Connor and I followed him but instead of leaving the water after the assassin, I stayed back and bit my lower lip contritely. Confused Connor looked down at me and suddenly appeared worried. "Is something wrong?"  
"Well..." I grinned embarrassed. "Before we jumped down, I said that I´m not dressed for swimming."  
He cocked his head. "Yes? And...?"  
"My shirt is white..."  
Connor frowned shortly but then he seemed to understand the problem and lifted his hands. "Wait here."  
I did as I was told, because I had no other choice and watched smirking, how he hurried up the narrow path along the cliff, disappeared behind the edge shortly and finally came back with his coat. He opened it, held it out to me and indicated to me, with his head demonstratively turned away from me, that I should leave the water. I couldn´t hold back a chuckle before I climbed up the rocks and slipped into the coat. He was way too large for me but at least I could wrap it around my body, so that I didn´t revealed too much of myself.  
"Is it good?", Connor asked and I nodded smiling.  
"Thank you."

We went back to the meadow where Caleb had already dressed himself and laid in the grass next to his dog, to let himself dry by the sun, which slowly began to set. Connor and I sat down, too and I wrapped the coat tighter around me as I began to feel cold. It didn´t escape the assassin´s notice, who was buttoning up his shirt and he glanced at me. "Are you cold?"  
"A bit but..." I nodded down to the coat. "It helps."  
He nodded and slowly sank down onto his back.  
I looked to the sea, which was as red as the sky in face of the setting sun. The wind became colder but it was still pleasant to sit here. Not least because Connor´s coat was warming me up and dreamily I wrapped it even tighter around my body before I looked to Connor, who had directed his gaze to the sky but had closed his eyes. The feeling, that I had seen a different Connor during the last days, came over me again. But this time I seriously asked myself, if he hadn´t been like this the whole time.  
Had I really wanted to see this grim man whose cold behaviour had irritated me over and over again? I had thought worse about him than he actually was. Wasn´t he the one who hadn´t left me behind when others would have done? Who had brought my father´s last will to me, hoping that it could help me? Who had brought me back into my homeland? Who had always been worried about me? No matter how annoying I had found it. Had I really wronged him?  
I bit my lower lip when I had to admit to myself, that it had been like that. But why?  
 _Because you always wanted to cure yourself from this illness you obviously never got rid of._  
Out of pure stubbornness, I had actually tried to talk myself into thinking something that my mind, but not my heart, had wanted to believe.  
That I hadn´t fallen in love with Connor.


	37. Chapter 37

**Why don´t you allow it?**

It was already dark when we returned to the house. While Caleb and Connor took care of Cherry, I helped Noel to make the last preparations for dinner. Like almost every evening we had a vegetable stew which Noel completed with fresh mussels. It smelled fantastic and after a lively day in the water, I felt now how hungry I was. As Connor and the boy came from the barn, we all sat at the table and ate, while Caleb excited told his grandfather about the day´s events. He told him in great detail how he and Connor had finally gotten me into the water and really said the sentence, that I wasn´t as strenuous as he had thought I was, what I noticed with gratitude and smirked about it inwardly. At least Caleb wasn´t as bad as I had thought, too. He was cheeky and had a loose tongue, but basically he was a good boy you had to take into your heart. But this good boy protested loudly as he was sent to bed by his grandfather right after the dinner. He was still completely full of vim but pushed off sulking, wished us a good night and disappeared into the adjoining room with Ale. Connor also excused himself after dinner, because he wanted to make a patrol over the coastal street and the surrounding area like he did every evening before he went to sleep. It fulfilled his need to supply safety and so we let him do it.

Noel and I stayed behind alone and I helped the old man with clearing the table and doing the dishes.  
"You know, girl", Noel began, when he gave me a bowl for drying. "I´m really glad that you and Connor had the patience to stay here. I´ve met so many who were searching for the Shroud but nobody of these seekers stayed. They were all driven by the greed to hold the Shroud in their hands as soon as possible. But the both of you really seem to have a different motivation."  
I put the bowl aside and turned towards the old man. "We want to make sure that it doesn´t get into somebody´s hand who is as greedy as you said. He already did so much to get the Shroud and that´s why we want to stop him."  
The old man nodded and gave me another piece of crockery, without saying something about my words. We were silent until our work was done. Just then I stood undetermined in front of the fireplace while Noel stepped outside shortly to empty the dirty water in front of the house.  
"Will you really tell us where it is?", I asked, as he came back and Noel smiled mildly.  
"Yes. But not too soon. You should go to bed."  
I nodded slowly, wished him a good night and left the house. On my way to the barn, I was called back and Noel pushed a small bowl with a red paste inside into my hand.  
"Give this to Connor for his scars. I´ve gone today just to find some St. John´s wort. It´s not so easy to find but it eases the skin and he shouldn´t have problems anymore."  
"Problems?" I frowned and Noel cocked his head.  
"Well he told me just yesterday that his fresh scars are causing trouble. I think the skin is still irritated but the herb should help him. But it would be better..." He shortly lifted a hand before he went back into the house and came back with fresh bandages, he gave me.  
"St. John´s wort looses colour terribly and that´s why he should wrap these over it for the night. So the salve can take in better."  
Noel patted my shoulder while I nodded slowly and looked down to the salve in my hand. Connor had told me the whole time, that he was only slightly or not in pain. During the last days he had also appeared like everything was alright. But obviously he had been more worried about my damaged hands again instead of his own wounded back. Why was he talking with Noel about it but not with me? Did he want to "spare me" again? I suppressed a snort when I thought about that but because Noel was looking at me slightly confused, I only murmured a "Thank you" and set off to the barn.

As I arrived in the small living room under the roof, I put the salve on the table, laid the bandages aside and sank onto the bed. Unhurriedly I began to open my braid, which had already begun to loosen after the jump into the water. Now my half dry hair was a single mess and so knotted that I uttered a quiet swearword from time to time as I tried to put it in order with a comb. I would definitely have it cut sometime, because it took an eternity to put all lengths reasonably in order before I plaited them to a loose braid over my shoulder again.  
I didn´t know how much time had past now, but Connor still wasn´t back and I asked myself, if he had taken so much time during the other evenings, too. But mostly I had been already asleep anyway and also today, I sank back into the pillows with a quiet sigh. Only now it became aware to me, that I was still wearing Connor´s coat whose sleeves I had rolled up for the sake of simplicity. I shortly thought about taking it off, because my shirt was already dry again and opaque, but I snuggled up in it and buried my nose into the collar. The fabric still smelled of Connor. Somehow like the tangy smell of the forest in summer but also like the fresh breeze on sea. Like his home.  
 _But if Connor smells of sea and forest...how am I smelling then?_  
I screw up my face as I thought of the smell in the city. The smell of many people, heavy perfume that prevented you from breathing, horse dung on the streets, the stench of the harbour...  
 _Disgusting._  
I angled for my braid and sniffed at it. But I couldn´t smell anything, maybe except of the salty smell of the sea.  
 _Can you smell your own scent anyway? And does the smell of the own home really stuck on someone?_  
I uttered a groan and I buried my face into the coat again. If I really smelled of a mixture of perfume, harbour and horse dung, I wasn´t surprised that Connor didn´t let me come closer to him. Maybe I would keep back from myself, too.

A sigh and a look to the door, before I curled up and closed my eyes. I was dead tired and couldn´t stay awake to wait for Connor any longer. Shortly afterwards I was fallen asleep but it didn´t took long until I was woken up by a quiet rattle. Blinking I opened my eyes and was instantly dazzled by the light of the oil lamp which was still burning on the table. Growling quietly I rubbed my hands over my eyes until I could reasonably see clear again. Connor was back and had put his weapons on the table, the rattle that had waken me up. Now the assassin sat at the table and began to unbutton his shirt, what made me close my eyes again. I really didn´t want to stare at him and because he was obviously thinking that I was sleeping, he should keep believing it.

My eyes were closed but my ears perked up, listening to every noise. First there was the rustle of the shirt, as he pushed it over his shoulders, then the quiet scraping of the bowl with the salve, as it was pulled over the table. Then, for some time, nothing until Connor uttered a frustrated noise. Curious I opened my eyes and a smirk flitted across my face. There sat the assassin and tried to rub the salve into his back with the weirdest contortions. But no matter how agile and versatile Connor maybe was, even he couldn´t twist his arms far enough.  
"Do you need help?"  
His head spun towards me and obviously surprised, he blinked before he shook his head and turned his gaze to the bowl in front of him again.  
"It is alright. You can sleep, I did not want to wake you up."  
But instead of curling up and sleeping again, I sat up and patted next to me on the mattress. "Come here, I can´t watch that." I gave a crooked smile as Connor looked at me again and I could see the hesitation in his face. But even he had to admit, that he needed help and so he stood up with a sigh, took salve and bandages and sat down next to me on the bed.  
Pushing the blanket aside, I crawled behind him, got on my knees and let my gaze wander over the newly healed weal on his back. They were four and alongside each other they reached from his right shoulder blade across his back down to the left hip. Even in the faint light of the lamp I could see that they were standing out red from his bronze coloured skin and the smile on my face faded.  
"Why didn´t you tell me that you´re in pain?", I asked quietly after he had given me the bowl with the salve.  
"Because you have enough own problems and I do not want to burden you with mine. Furthermore I am not in pain. It is just unpleasant."  
Unpleasant. I sighed while I dipped my finger into the cool salve and began to rub it carefully into the first scar. Connor flinched shortly with the touch but relaxed again as I continued without hesitation.

The skin over the former wounds was smooth but the small bumps were clearly sensible and were going to be more scars on Connor´s torso in the future. More parts of his story that would be forever visible as a part of him and I asked myself, if there was anything I could have changed about it. If I could have done anything to prevent that they caught him and did something like that to him. But the answer was No. I couldn´t have done anything and that was exactly what plagued me. Connor always had done everything to protect me and even when he had been wounded and in fever, he had saved me from this disgusting guy. But I couldn´t do anything for him.  
I couldn´t raise a blade to protect him in a fight.  
I couldn´t threaten anybody to make them staying away from Connor.  
I could only treat his wounds when it was already too late.

"Is everything alright?"  
The assassin´s voice startled me off my thoughts and blinking I raised my eyes from the scar I had stared at the whole time without treating it.  
 _Pull yourself together!_  
"Yes, I was just in thought", I murmured and finally attended to the last scar without looking into Connor´s face which he had half turned towards me over his shoulder.  
"What did you think about?"  
"Nothing important. Just...small matters. What I have to do tomorrow."  
"You are a bad liar, Lillian."  
I stopped the treatment and raised my head to look at him. Obviously somebody was noticing everything right now. A cheeky grin flitted across my face as I shrugged my shoulders as casually as possible and said: "Lying is a sin. You shouldn´t be good in it."  
"So, you never sin?" The corners of his mouth twitched slightly and made my cheeks burn. Luckily he was sitting with the back towards me, otherwise I wouldn´t have the seriousness on my side anymore.  
"I´m an angel", I said smugly before I dipped a finger into the salve again and treated the last part of the scar. Connor´s smirk was almost audible but I already thought that he would drop the topic now. But I had barely put the salve aside and began to roll up the bandages when the assassin said with a slightly mocking undertone: "I have already seen you drunk and making rude accusations."  
 _Just you wait!_

My eyes narrowed shortly before I leaned a bit forward grinning, wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered into his ear: "But you kissed me anyway."  
A mistake.  
Every fibre in Connor´s body tensed and his hands laid firmly but not painfully around my wrists and loosened my grip, before he stood up and took a few steps away from the bed. He stopped, leaned against the table and looked at me seriously and with crossed arms.  
"Lillian, please do not do that."  
"What should I do not?"  
He frowned deeply and only shortly, Connor´s gaze slit into the blank before he looked into my eyes again. "You kissed me and I have only returned the kiss, because it should distract the guards. Please do not see anything else in it."  
My now trembling lips made a painful acquaintance with my teeth. There it was again. This stab in the heart and I wanted to punish myself for my improvidence at the moment. Why didn´t I expected such a reaction and such words from him? At least he had already said it once and it had already been painful back then. I couldn´t be so stupid and think that something had changed between us just because he hadn´t been so cold during the last days and because my heart had thrown my sense overboard.

"I´m sorry", I murmured huskily and turned my gaze to the bandages in my hands. A tensed silence reigned between us before Connor sighed and came to me again.  
"Do you bind me up?", he asked and sat down again as I nodded. With trembling hands, I began to wrap up his torso into the fabric bandages and paid careful attention that I didn´t come closer to him as necessary. Nevertheless there was still one question on the tip of my tongue.  
"Why don´t you allow it?"  
Connor´s head turned towards me again and I saw the question in his gaze.  
"Why don´t you allow it, that someone comes closer to you? That someone touches you, no matter if it´s a handshake or a hug?"  
The answer was silence but I was glad that he didn´t leap up immediately and distance himself again although I was already finished with binding him up. He kept sitting. The hands folded in his lap, the lips tensely pinched.  
 _He won´t answer_ , I thought with resignation and just raised my hands to take back the question but it was Connor who began to speak.  
"I do not know", he said calmly and looked thoughtfully to the flickering of the oil lamp. "I just cannot bear it. I always have the feeling that I have to give something back or trust the people and that is what I cannot do so easily. Not everyone I know deserves my trust."  
I swallowed heavily when he said that. So I belonged to those who didn´t deserve his trust?  
"So you don´t trust me?" My voice was only a timid whisper in face of the lump in my throat. He may had said once that he trusted me, but he had always kept distance to me. The gaze stiffly directed to my hands, I saw from the corners of my eye how Connor sat sideways on the bed now and looked at me.  
"What makes you think that? Of course I trust you."  
"But nevertheless...you always shy away from me." I raised my head, looked into his eyes and felt how my own filled up with tears. "Every time I think that I´ve come a step closer to you, you take two steps back. Sometimes you allow it but then your expression looks like you bit into a sour apple. I just don´t understand what I´ve done wrong or what´s wrong about me." I uttered a sob as the first tears ran over my cheeks.

Connor sat there like frozen and didn´t seem to know how to react to my sudden emotional outburst.  
"You did nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong about you", he began slowly and turned a bit more into my direction. "I just do not think that it is good for you to come close to me. Since our first meeting, you were always in danger and I want to protect you. I would feel responsible if something happens to you."  
"And that´s why you´re so cold? Because you want to protect me?"  
He nodded but with hesitation.  
"But that I´m in danger has nothing to do with you. My whole life I had to deal with Gardner and his men and surely I would have become endangered without you sooner or later. Besides, it was my decision to accompany you. To the soiree, here and even into prison. All of these have been my decisions and I made them although you turned me away. And if your protection means that you push me away from you over and over again, then I don´t want your protection."  
I had spoken so quickly that I had to take a deep breath now. Also to calm my heart again that had fallen into an irregular rhythm. The words just had broken out of me but now I wanted to take back the last sentence, as Connor cocked his head and looked at me questioningly. "Why should you want that?"  
What should I answer?  
Because I had been stupid enough to fall in love with you even though you had behaved terrible sometimes? Should I say that, just to become reminded of the evening when he had said to me that I had interpreted too much into our time together?  
Obviously this was the case. But probably Theresa would say that I should keep my last bit of dignity after I had begun to cry in front of him.  
"Because you´re more important to me than my safety", I said diplomatically. Important was neutral. Friends were important just as family and I hoped that his feelings for me were friendly at least.  
Connor took a long time to look me over but on the basis of his gaze, I couldn´t say what he was thinking. That I was still crying annoyed me but I straightened up. Preparing inwardly for another rejection. It came but it wasn´t as painful as usually.  
"Lillian, I will always want to protect you."  
"And that means that you will always take two steps back?"  
Connor hesitated until he sighed quietly, rubbed his hand over his face and finally turned his eyes away from me.  
"I do not know", he said quietly while I wasn´t sure if this answer was good or bad.


	38. Chapter 38

_Hello everyone :)  
_

 _I guess this chapter is probably the one everybody is waiting for. Somehow it was quite hard to translate as it was hard to write it in German before. But I hope you like it anway. :)_

 _Reviews:_

 ** _To C:_** _Yes, I was quite motivated to keep on the translation work and so I could update soon. :) We´re comming closer to the end and I just want to know what you guys will think about it._

 ** _To Guesty:_** _For me as a writer it´s always important to keep the story as realistic as possible and also to keep the Assassin´s Creed characters in character. A Connor who instantly falls in love with someone just isn´t Connor in my opinion. I´m glad you appreciate that. :) And I think there is going to be a lot to squeal about in this chapter. xD_

* * *

 **Stepping forward**

During the next two days, Connor and I only talked to each other when it was necessary and this time, it wasn´t because of him. After our evening conversation I had decided to evade him as good as possible. I feared that I had revealed more of my feelings to him than I had wanted to and that he could ask me about it. So I doggedly got down to my tasks and every time I saw Connor approaching me, I suddenly had something urgent to do in the opposite direction. His partly searching, partly concerned gazes didn´t escape my notice but I ignored them as good as I could. I also tried to be never alone with him. In the evenings I instantly went to bed while the assassin made his patrol and when he came back, I pretended to be asleep. So my plan worked out until one afternoon, when Noel sent Connor and me to harvest reed by a salt lake nearby. On the island it was used as fuel like wood and coal somewhere else.  
I was anything but pleased about this idea because among other things, it meant a one-hour walk to the lake and one hour back. Two hours in which I would be barely able to evade Connor. But my tries to rope Caleb in for this task weren´t successful and so I could do nothing else but to help to tie three baskets on Cherry´s back and to set off with her and the assassin.

The wind had become noticeable cooler over the day and so it wasn´t so unusual that I had pulled my hat deeply into the face and held my head down while I let Cherry´s rope slit through my hands over and over again, just to occupy myself with something and not to think about Connor again. He silently walked next to me and I was glad that he didn´t use the chance to talk to me. Maybe I was concerned about that for nothing and he already wasn´t thinking about our past conversation anymore? I raised my head shortly and looked at him, but the assassin´s gaze was directed to somewhere in the distance and so I looked away again, concentrated on our path. Despite the unpleasant silence, the hike didn´t seem to last as long as I had feared. As soon as we had got to the small, reed-surrounded lake, we let Cherry graze and I started to cut the reed with a sickle while Connor used his tomahawk. I worked silently and concentrated not to slip on the slick ground. But it didn´t become easier as the sky finally darkened and a flogging wind swept over the island´s plains. Every gust made me stumble and soon I gave up the try to harvest the reed and to hold my hat at the same time. I swore quietly and stumbled back to the mare who was standing there with her head down and fighting against the wind which seemed to become increasingly stronger. I stuffed everything I had harvested into one of the baskets as Connor approached me and pointed into the west.  
"There is an old house. Maybe we can find shelter there." His voice was barely audible through the wind´s howl in my ears but I nodded and he took Cherry´s rope from me so that I could concentrate on keeping my balance.

I had the feeling that the storm could tear me from my feet in every moment and it seemed to come from every side. Either it slowed me down by coming from the front or it pushed into my side so that I stumbled against the pony that was stumping between Connor and me. Luckily the house, Connor had spoken of, appeared in front of us and we escape inside of it. It was unoccupied, not in the best condition but at least it had a door and closable shutters. So we managed it with great effort, to lock the storm out and I took the load from the back of the trembling Cherry. Obviously the little horse had struggled with the weather more than I had done and I kneeled next to her to tickle her ears reassuringly. Soon she relaxed, let her eyelids droop and bent on of her hind legs. _If I only could relax so quickly, too_ , I thought smirking and gave some of the reed to the mare so that she had something to chew on. My way led me to one of the shutters which was clattering loudly but luckily withstood the wind. I glanced outside through a narrow gap and winced as the dark sky was enlightened by a lightening which merged into a loud thunder shortly afterwards.  
"Seems like we escaped the storm on time", said Connor, who had sat down in a corner of the small living room and leaned against the wall. He had barely said that as it began to rain in sheets and the already unpleasant background noises were completed with a steady drumming on the roof.

I uttered a quiet swearword, crossed my arms and began to walk back and forth like a predator in a cage. I hated storms. As a child I had hid under the bed, fearing the lightning and thunder and even now I winced when the air almost shook under the loud rumble of the thunderstorm. I barely noticed Connor, who always kept an eye on me until he spoke to me.  
"Are you afraid?"  
I stopped and thought that he would look at me mockingly. But he didn´t. His gaze was totally calm but nevertheless I shook my head determined but was proven wrong as another thunder sounded and made me wince.  
"Come, sit." Connor patted on the wooden floor next to him, like I had done on the bed two evenings ago. Had we switched roles? Hesitant I stayed in the middle of the room for a moment but then gave in with a sigh, approached him and sat down next to him. Drawn up my knees, the chin bedded on them and the arms wrapped around my legs, I now sat there and watched the shutters, how they hit against each other in an irregular rhythm.  
"I wanted to apologize by the way."  
My gaze came off the window and confused I looked at Connor who was looking at the floor, retracing its texture with his finger. "I was a bit hard and disrespectful to you sometimes. Somehow I hoped that you would have enough sometime and would stay away from me. I should have expected that I would hurt you with that. It was surely not my intention but you are..." I heard him smirk. "more stubborn than I have expected it."  
I was surprised about these honest words because I hadn´t expected that he would actually talk to me about his behaviour. Again he just had wanted me to stay away from him to be safe. But did that make it better for me? It was true that he had hurt me but surely he didn´t know how much. Furthermore I wouldn´t abandon myself to the illusion that his whole behaviour had been put on. He was cold and unapproachable. But he was also honest and this honesty made me become milder.  
"It´s alright", I murmured and plucked at the side seam of my trousers. "I´m not quite easy myself."

From the corners of my eye I saw how Connor raised his head and looked at me. "You asked me, why I do not let anybody come close to me. Can I ask you something in return?"  
My heart began to race and I pinched my lips. What now? Did he want to know how I felt? I should have kept my mouth shut. But now it seemed like I had no other choice and I nodded slowly and awaited his question.  
"Why do you not allow anybody to help you?"  
My head turned towards him quickly and surprised I looked at him while a faint smile played about his lips. That was everything? Everything he wanted to know?  
It seemed like Connor took my silence as incomprehension. "I mean, you always react irritated if someone offers you help. You refuse it that I want to protect you and during the last days, you were not thrilled when I wanted to do your work for you. You accepted it but like you said about me: You always looked like you bit into a sour apple."  
And again he was using my own words against me. Obviously he was among the few men who were actually listening. If that was good or bad was an open question. Nevertheless I needed some time to answer, because I thought about throwing out the question. I had never found it wrong to refuse help and his wish to protect me was just exhausting after a while. But he deserved an honest answer and so I listened to myself. Searching for an explanation of my behaviour.  
"Well, I always felt infantilized from you and sometime I was so sensitive that I instantly refused everything."  
"But I never wanted to infantilize you. I just wanted..."  
"The best for me?" I smirked and Connor appeared confused now but nodded slowly.  
"Do you know how often I´ve heard this sentence yet? My whole education was about this sentence. It was the best for me to obey what I was told. The best when I had to sit still for hours when I was a child, because my parents had invited business acquaintances for dinner. It was the best when I wasn´t allowed to play with the servant´s children because they might have a bad influence on me. I never doubted these orders and was always certain that they were right. I put up with it and never saw alternatives for myself."  
I was silent for a moment because I didn´t want to moan about my childhood in front of Connor. At least I had been better off than some others. But Connor looked at me attentively and honestly interested.  
"But you certainly had alternatives. At least you are from a good family."  
Chuckling I shook my head and leaned against the wall behind me. "That´s exactly why I had no alternatives. You know, the only goal of the rich is to keep their wealth or to increase it. In my case it always meant that I had to marry a merchant, no matter if for love or not, to have children and to watch how the boys are raised as merchants and the girls as wives. I would be such a wife now if Richard hadn´t kept me away from all men because he wanted to have my heritage."  
A bitter smile flitted across my face when I thought of that. When I was talking about it now, I found it ridiculous that I had always longed for this life I was now calling a life without alternatives. In America I had wanted to have this monotonous life back, had missed it because it was the only one I knew.  
"But during the last months I didn´t want to put up with it anymore. I´m angry about me, that I accepted everything, because if I had followed my education, I would have never helped you. I would have sent you away when you came into my room wounded this one evening. I would have closed my eyes in front of everything that happened and I could never forgive myself that." Slowly I turned my head to look at him. "I didn´t want it and that´s why I couldn´t accept that you wanted to keep me out of everything, because I had an alternative at last. Do you understand?"  
Connor looked at me for a moment and nodded. "I never saw it like that. I always thought you are just...stubborn."  
I had to laugh again and grinned at him. "I think the both of us are stubborn. No wonder that we always get into a fight."  
The assassin smirked, too. "That is true."

We became silent and I looked to Cherry, who was standing there with her head down and asleep. I admired her for that. The storm was still blustering around us and now that there was no conversation anymore, I could have concentrate on, I began to feel unwell again.  
"How long do you think the storm will take?"  
Connor shrugged his shoulders and looked to one of the windows. "No matter how long it takes, I think we should wait here till tomorrow before we go back. We shouldn´t leave in the dark."  
"So one more night on the floor? That can only become a sleepless night."  
I screwed up my face and wrapped my arms tighter around my cocked legs. Certainly I wouldn´t get a wink of sleep. This time we even hadn´t the possibilities to make ourselves comfortable and the house was completely empty. But I was tired and it became noticeable soon, as I had to suppress a yawn which unfortunately didn´t escape Connor´s notice.  
"You can sleep if you want to. I will not go away."  
Smirking I looked at him and cocked my head. "That would be even better. But it´s alright."  
Silence again which I soon interrupted with a yawn again. I stretched my legs and arms and let my head roll over the back of my neck, hoping that I stayed awake when I was sitting straight. Didn´t work well enough. Sighing I leaned my head against the wall again but glanced at Connor from the side and bit my lower lip. Maybe I shouldn´t exaggerate...  
"Connor?"  
He turned his head towards me and looked at me questioningly.  
"Can I...lean against you?"  
Connor shortly blinked in surprise before his expression became hesitant. I should have known it. He wouldn´t...I faltered because he nodded.  
"Of course."  
Hesitant I moved a bit closer to him and leaned my head against his shoulder. Shortly this well-known tension went through his body but it vanished quite quickly and I held my breath as he put an arm around me and pulled me closer to him. Now my torso leaned completely against him and even though I felt uneasy at first, I soon abandoned this feeling and relaxed. Connor´s body was pleasantly warm and while I listened to his regular breathing, I managed it to forget the storm and my fear of it. It didn´t took long until my eyes became heavy and even though I wanted to prevent it, I fell asleep shortly afterwards.

* * *

When I woke up, I still heard the patter of the rain but now the house was filled with the faint twilight of dawn. I really had slept the whole night but it quickly became aware to me, why it had been so easy. Connor had brought us from the sitting into a lying position sometime but it wasn´t like the night when he had brought enough distance between us and had lain with the back towards me. This time he was lying on his back and I was lying on my side, cuddle up to him. His arm still lay around my shoulders and my head was half bedded on his chest so that I could hear his regular heartbeat while I had put my arm over his torso. There was no distance between us this time and I asked myself if he had known that when he had fallen asleep or if I had come closer to him in sleep and he would get the scare of his life, when he woke up. Shortly I thought about moving away from him but I didn´t want to. I enjoyed this closeness and even if he would push me away when he woke up, I wanted to enjoy it. Carefully I cuddle up closer to him and breathed in this unmistakable scent of him which alone was able to make my heart jump. Was it normal that you noticed such small things when you liked a person? When you were in love? I bit my lower lip when it hit me that it didn´t matter anyway. This situation was unique. When he woke up, everything was going to be as always. We would go back to Noel´s house, would sleep separately and sometime, when we had found the Shroud, our ways would part again. There would be only memories and when I now started to enjoy Connor´s closeness, this would be the thing I was going to miss the most. But still I couldn´t move away from him.

I had barely thought that, as Connor moved a bit and I only saw how he opened his eyes blinking, before I quickly closed my own. Maybe he wouldn´t push me away when he thought that I was still asleep? So I tried to keep my breathing as calm and regular as possible while I felt how Connor turned his head towards me. His chin brushed my forehead shortly and I could feel his gaze on me but there was no sign that he felt uncomfortable about my closeness. I believed that his heartbeat had become quicker but apart from that, he was totally calm and relaxed. Had I been mistaken and he was still asleep? But then he put his hand on mine, which was still lying on his chest. Instead of pushing it away, he shortly stroked his fingertips over the back of my hand before his hand disappeared again. Connor took a deep breath and murmured, so quiet that I could barely hear it: "What are you doing?"  
Did he mean me or himself? Did he decide that he didn´t want me so close to him? Shortly I thought of opening my eyes but then my heart skipped a beat again as Connor gently stroke over my hair and then my cheek. Unconsciously I held my breath and it didn´t escape the assassin´s notice. Caught his hand flinched back and I exhaled again. "Don´t stop", I murmured, my eyes still closed because somehow I didn´t dare to look at him. What if he just hadn´t resisted for the moment but would turn me away again, now that he knew that I was awake?

He didn´t react for an eternity but then Connor carefully turned on his side and I was forced to raise my head before he embraced me and I could bed my head on his upper arm again, my face buried in his chest. My heart was in my mouth and a pleasant prickle spread inside my body while Connor only held me in his arms. Being so close to him was as wonderful as it was unfamiliar and it was nearly too much for me. What should think about this sudden approach of him? At least he surely wasn´t in fever.  
"Don´t you want to take two steps back again?", I asked quietly and referred to our conversation three days ago. Connor´s hand gently stroke over my hair again, played with my braid before he answered just as quietly: "Yesterday I learned that it obviously would not work anyway. No matter how far I am stepping away, you will always approach me again. Why should I not come to meet you? Unless..." Now he tensed and his hand suddenly stopped caressing my hair. "...you want me to stay away from you?"  
A smirk flitted across my lips in face of the sudden insecurity in his voice. I opened my eyes and moved away from him a little to look at him. "Until now, I find it pleasant that you don´t."  
His brown eyes looked me over but then a smile appeared on his face. "That is nice to hear", he said and carefully reached out his hand to stroke over my cheek, as if he wanted to check if I was really saying the truth. But it actually was pleasant but unfamiliar. I had never thought that Connor would decide on his own that he wanted to give up his permanent evasion. At least I had been sure already that something about me had scared him off. But it had only needed some honest words to achieve the opposite even though I could see hesitation flicker over his face from time to time. As if he wasn´t quite sure himself, if it was right to seek my closeness.

Now it was me who slowly reached out her hand and stroked through his medium-length hair which began to loosen from his braid. The assassin took a deep breath and closed his eyes as my fingertips stroked over his nape, to his chin and over his cheek. But he allowed it and as he looked at me again, he smiled and made my heart beat faster once again. How I wished that he would always look at me that way. That I could see this smile more often when I was allowed to be close to him. But this smile vanished again and brought back all my uncertainty at once. Suddenly he looked at me thoughtfully and I took my hand away. Had he chosen the opposite direction again? I bit my lower lip as I felt how my heart missed a beat but then he stroked my cheek again and murmured: "Do not do that."  
He bent down to me and I almost held my breath as he leaned his forehead against mine. He had closed his eyes and I felt his breath on my skin before he slightly raised his head again and first his lips touched my forehead, then my cheek. Now I had the feeling that my poor heart was going to jump out of my chest as his lips stopped shortly at the corner of my mouth before he kissed my lips amazingly gently and carefully. The kiss only lasted a split of a second as Connor broke it off again and leaned his forehead against mine. We spoke no word and maybe it was good in face of my irregular breathing.

It must be a dream. Connor never would have kissed me of his own will. It wasn´t such a long time ago since he had said that I shouldn´t interpret too much into our first kiss. But this time there wasn´t much I could misinterpret. Or was it? I laid my hands on his cheeks and gently pushed his head a bit away from me and looked deeply into his eyes. "Was that such an "I may kiss you but it doesn´t mean anything"-kiss again? Will you keep distance again in a few hours and tell me that I shouldn´t misinterpret anything?"  
I had to ask that because if he had only wanted to test himself and everything would be like it was before afterwards, it would break my heart. Maybe he wasn´t aware of how much he meant to me.  
At least Connor frowned shortly after my question and didn´t seem to know what he should answer. But then his gaze became serious and he propped his arms beside my torso to push himself further up. "Do you really think that I would kiss you then?"  
"I don´t know. I don´t know at all what to think about you. I´m always afraid that you suddenly go back on a decision and take your two steps back again."  
He looked at me and shook his head with determination. "I always kept you away from me because I thought that I could protect you like that. But you are making it more than difficult for me and if I am honest, I do not want that anymore. I can protect you without keeping you away."  
Connor let his arms sink again and now the tip of his nose touched mine. "I do not know what you are doing with me but basically I never wanted you to stay away from me."  
"I don´t do anything", I smirked while his words caused a wonderful warm prickle inside of me.  
"Oh, you do."

When he brought his lips to mine this time, he was still gentle but not as hesitant as before. I moved my hand to the back of his neck and buried the other into his hair while I pulled him a bit closer to me and enjoyed this feeling, the kiss was causing inside of me. It was completely different than it had been on the soiree where I had taken him by surprise and where it had been only a matter of time until we had to break away from each other. The kiss had been gentle and carefully, too but there had been no seriousness behind it but only my own reflex and desperation. Not to forget that I had been slightly drunk. But know we were kissing each other in silent agreement and there was nothing we had to be afraid of. No guards who could possibly come around a corner in every in moment. We were alone and could enjoy the other´s closeness. And how I enjoyed it. My whole being was oriented to him in this moment. To his kiss, his warmth, his scent and his hand that stroked tenderly through my hair while his lips separated from mine, only to move over my cheek, my chin and finally the crook of my neck.  
"You smell good", he murmured and shortly I was unable to help it. I giggled whereupon Connor raised his head and looked at me questioningly.  
"A few days ago, I asked myself if the smell of home can stick on someone because you always smell of the forests and the sea near the homestead."  
He cocked his head while I was still grinning and giggling. "I thought that I could reek of London then. Horse dung on the streets, the stench of the harbour, the heavy perfume of the rich..."  
Connor smirked and shook his head before he bent to me and kissed me. "Do not worry. You do not smell of London and you certainly do not stink", he said close by my lips and I shortly had to laugh again before he stifled it with another kiss.

I could feel how the both of us were given up our initially timidity and became lost in our closeness. It was a wonderful feeling and I was sure that I had never felt as comfortable with someone as I did now with Connor. Comfortable, safe and happy. I never wanted this to end. That we never had to part again. That I never had to stop kissing and touching him. My hands caressed his nape, gently pushed him closer to me while he was playing tenderly with the dark strands of my hair until he loosened his hand from them and laid it gently into my waist. I gasped as his fingertips brushed bare skin with that action. My shirt had slipped up a bit and Connor´s hand had gotten to this spot accidentally. At least I thought that it hadn´t been aware to him because he pulled his hand away, broke the kiss and looked at me apologetically. "I did not intend to..."  
But I shook my head, took his hand and laid it back to its former place before I pulled him down to me for a kiss again. He didn´t had to apologize because he hadn´t done something wrong. In the contrary. His touch was incredibly wonderful and I sighed quietly as his hand stroked over my waist without moving further up. Connor restrained himself what was probably more than you could expect from other men when they had a woman under them. He didn´t badger me. Made no move to expose more of my skin but was satisfied with what I granted him and incredibly careful as if he was afraid that he could hurt me somehow.

He only kissed me with more passion as I bit cheekily into his lower lip and elicited a low growl from him. His hand wandered back into my hair, buried inside of it and I sighed again at his lips. I wouldn´t mind if the time would stop and if this moment would last forever. I didn´t want to leave this place but unfortunately it was me who put an end to everything, completely thoughtlessly. The whole time I had lain half distorted under him. The legs laid on the side, the back flat on the ground. There was already a dragging pain in my waist which I couldn´t ignore for long. So I turned my pelvis a bit so that I was lying more comfortable. It was comfortable for me but obviously not for Connor. Suddenly he gasped, broke the kiss and bit his lower lips with his eyes squinched shut.  
"Lillian, that...was not good."  
"Why? What hap...oh."  
While I had been confused at first, I now felt what my thoughtless movement had caused on him before Connor moved away from me and laid down on the side. Heat rose into my cheeks and probably I looked like an overripe strawberry while I looked at him completely remorseful.  
"I´m...err...I´m sorry. I didn´t want to..."  
Connor only raised a hand before he gave me a crooked smile. "You do not have to apologize. I just think we should...leave it at two steps and do not sprint."  
His words made me blush even more and I wished the ground would open up and swallow me. I felt more than embarrassed.  
"I didn´t intend to..." I stopped when Connor shook his head.  
"I know, me neither. Do not let us talk about it."  
I bit my lower lip and nodded. That was fine with me even though my face was still glowing.  
"I...am looking after Cherry", I murmured and stood up to go to the mare who was still standing not far from us where I had taken off the baskets from her back. The little mare mumbled quietly as I kneeled down next to her and tickled her tuft while I heard how Connor stood up, too. Two shutters were opened with a rattle and shortly it was silent before I heard how Connor picked up something from the ground hurriedly. Confused I turned around and his gaze was alarming as he looked and me and hurried to the door.  
"What is it?", I asked but then I heard the voice which was coming closer to the house.  
Caleb who shouted our names in panic.


	39. Chapter 39

_Hello again :)_

 _Just a little warning: Chapter 40 is the longest one in the entire story, so it´s going to take a while to translate it. But I really enjoyed your reviews to the last chapter. I guess everyone was waiting for it. :D_

 ** _To Guesty:_** _You´re too kind. :D I´m surely no celebrity but I´m glad to hear that I can make you happy with my story. But you don´t need to worry about the end of this one. Does it reassure you that I´ve published the 70th chapter of the (german) sequel just yesterday? ;) No end in sight yet._

 ** _To C:_** _Well, the two of them really needed some time. :D But I guess it fits their characters. Connor´s and Lillian´s. I´m glad you like that._

 ** _To Tina:_** _Thank you. :) It´s al_ _ways good to hear that no one is out of character._

 ** _To Betterdays623:_** _Sounds weird but I´m happy that I was able to "make you cry" or better to say: That I was able to affect you. Guess that should be the aim of every author. :) Lillian´s hair is dark brown, by the way. I know that I´m not describing her so often but somehow I want to give the reader the chance to create his own image of her. But the short discription is: Hip-length, dark brown hair. Grey eyes. Quite small and petite. ^^_

* * *

 **They are going to pay for this**

Caleb came from the direction of the salt lake, running, totally pale, the hair still wet from the rain that had just ended.  
"What happened?", asked Connor and kneeled down in front of the boy, placing his hands on Caleb´s shoulders. Caleb panted and when I stepped to him and the assassin, I saw that he was trembling.  
"They...they suddenly appeared. They wanted to know from grandfather where some kind of Shroud is. Grandfather sent me away and they wanted to hold me but I just ran away and hoped to find you."  
"Who do you mean with "them"? What kind of people?" I could hear that Connor tried to stay calm but probably he knew as good as I did who Caleb meant.  
"I don´t know their names. Their boss was quite tall and had creepy blue eyes and the one who always ran after him was fat and smarmy. They had at least ten armed men with them."  
Connor glanced at me over his shoulder and our gazes met. We knew who had appeared at Caleb´s and Noel´s. Gardner and Tibbet. But how had they found us? Had they searched for us anyway?

"Did they ask about us?", I wanted to know from Caleb but the boy shook his head. So it really was about the Piece of Eden? But how had they learned that it was on this island? Connor stood up, his face marked by grim determination. "I will go back immediately. You will follow me but stay away. I do not want them to come too close to you, if they are still there."  
I nodded, before the assassin adjusted the bow on his back and ran off, back to the house. Caleb stood there like frozen, staring to the ground while he was still panting. He must have run the whole way. Cherry, who I was holding at her rope, snorted quietly and I led her to the boy who instantly buried his hand into her thick mane.  
"Come, let us leave the baskets here and you sit on her back. I will lead her and you can rest a bit", I said gently and put a hand on his shoulder. The boy just nodded before he climbed on the little mare´s back and cocked his legs so that his feet didn´t drag over the ground. He wasn´t quite himself but I did understand. He was worried about his grandfather and Ale because the dog hadn´t come with him as usual. _I hope they are fine_ , I thought and turned my gaze into the direction Connor had disappeared in.

Even from the distance I could see the white of his coat. He ran amazingly quickly and with determination and I hoped that he would make it back in time before something terrible happened.  
Shortly I made sure that Caleb sat safety on Cherry´s back before I went off and tried to hurry. My feet carried me as fast as I thought that Cherry´s short legs were capable of it, but she seemed to feel that something was wrong. I barely had to drive her on and sometimes, she even fell into a slow trot so that I could quicken my steps, too. I always had an eye on the boy but he was just sitting there silently and looked onto the little mare´s mane. I wanted to reassure him but I was too churned up myself to find the right words. How fast the situation and feelings could change. Just moments ago I had floated in bliss and had wished that the time in Connor´s arms would never end. But now I was on my way into a fearful uncertainty. The only thing I knew was that our enemies were here now, too and surely were anything but peaceful minded.

Gardner was an ice-cold bastard and in the past, he had already done everything to get the Shroud. What was he capable of, when he was close to his aim? I was going to learn it earlier than I wanted it. Soon I could see the dark clouds of smoke, soaring up in the distance and as we had left a small hill behind us, we were looking down to a burning house and an also burning stable. Not a living soul was to see. Caleb uttered a quiet whimper and I instantly turned to him, put my hands on his shoulders.  
"Stay here with Cherry, hide behind this rock there. You won´t move an inch, do you hear me?"  
The boy looked at me trembling, tears running down his cheeks, but he nodded. Shortly I took him in my arms before I pushed the mare´s rope into his hand and ran down the last metres to the house.

The wind blew the acrid smoke towards me, that seemed to lie over the whole terrain. It burned my eyes and I coughed several times while I blinking tried to perceive my environment in detail. I heard nothing but the crackling flames. No voices, no screaming, not even the noise of weapons hitting each other. The only human beings were the bodies of four men who were lying scattered on the courtyard. Obviously they had fallen victims to Connor. But where was he? Where were Noel and Ale?  
I slipped out of my waistcoat and pressed it against my mouth and nose, hoping that I wouldn´t keep breathing in the smoke like that. I crossed the courtyard with quick steps and despite the fire´s heat, I felt a shiver running down my spine. It wasn´t possible that I didn´t meet anyone. Unless...

Frightened I jumped to the side as the roof of the barn next to me collapsed with a loud crack. Sparks and dust flown up and I had to turn my face away to get nothing of it into my eyes. The fear inside of me became superior as I thought that the men could have been inside the barn. Or the house. That they maybe...  
 _No, Lillian! You will go to the street now. Maybe they are there somewhere._  
I would have followed my own order if I hadn´t heard a whimper from the collapsed barn. _Ale!_  
I ran into the direction the noise had come from, to a smoking pile of rubble where there had used to be the gate of the barn. The whimper became louder and it tore my heart into pieces as I pushed a wooden plank aside and found the jammed Ale. His fur was covered with soot, his lips bloodstained but the worst was the hand-sized wooden splinter that had plunged into his side. The animal whimpered in agony and tried to lift his head to look at me but he hadn´t the strength anymore. Tears rose into my eyes as I reached out my hand and stroke over the small head, completely helpless. How I had cursed this dog sometimes but he had always been such a brave animal, full of life and on top of everything: Caleb´s best friend. How should I tell the boy that Ale would never run over the meadows with him again? The dog wouldn´t recover and stand up anymore. While I was stroking him, the whimper quietened down, his breath became shallow and finally came to a standstill.

"Poor calf-biter. I hope you have it good wherever you are now", I whispered and gently let his floppy ears slid through my fingertips. He had loved it when Caleb or Connor had done that and I wished that I would have spent more time with him, too. Now it was too late but what should I do? Recover him from the rubble? It would be better if Caleb didn´t see his friend like that. The loss would hurt him enough but there was still the question: What happened to Noel?  
 _And to Connor._  
I stroke over Ale´s small head for a last time before I stood up and looked undetermined to the house. In contrast to the barn, it was still intact, at least it was built of stone, but even from the distance I could hear the cracking of the wooden beams which were supporting the roof that was already half collapsed. What if they were in there?  
 _Then you can´t help them anymore._  
And as if the roof had heard my thoughts, it now collapsed completely. I bit my bottom lip to suppress the tears which were unstoppably finding their way into my eyes again. The home of the boy and his grandfather was destroyed. And why? Because there were men who were doing everything to satisfy their greed for power. They are going to pay for this!  
I clenched my fists and spun around in the same moment, as I heard steps behind me.

I had to screw up my eyes some more, because of the smoke and the tears didn´t make it easier for me to see something. But nevertheless it was quickly obvious that is was neither Connor nor Noel, who was stumping towards me. First I only spotted the silhouette of a pot-bellied man who had a rapier in his right hand and I was already suspecting who he was but I couldn´t make my legs move. I stayed like I was frozen as the man finally stepped out of the thick smoke and I saw this sweaty, glittering face which had aroused my disgust so often. Walter Tibbet, whose mouth twisted into the dirty grin, I had already seen him with during our last meeting.  
"Well, well, what a surprise", his unpleasant voice sounded while he was further approaching me. "A face which I didn´t expect to see again."  
"I could have done without your sight, too", I hissed and did a few steps back what made him quicken his pace, not without losing the grin.  
"You really became rude, Lillian. I think your new contacts have a bad influence on you." He lifted the rapier and waved it like a person who had lifted his index finger in a didactic manner. The shining steel flashed in the light of the burning house and I began to feel unwell with the thought that I was unarmed against him. Where the devil was Connor if you really needed him? My gaze flitted shortly over my shoulder to the street, what didn´t escape Tibbet´s notice of course.  
"When you´re hoping for help, it´s a waste of time. Nobody´s here to help you." He chuckled while I had to swallow the lump in my throat. Connor would have never left without Caleb and me. But where should he else be if not in one of the burning buildings?  
"What is it? You´re looking worried. Are you afraid of me, now that no one´s there to watch over you? So alone out here in the wilderness. Far from home."  
The scorn in Tibbet´s voice was unmistakable and angry I looked at him again. I certainly wouldn´t give him the satisfaction to mock at me. Yes, I was afraid but my hatred for him outweighed. He was also responsible that a ten years old child had lost its home.  
"I think your stench is more frightening than you", I snapped back with the same scorn in my voice.  
Tibbet´s eyes narrowed but the grin was still there. He quickened his path while I kept stepping back. But I didn´t pay attention to where I was going to and tripped over the leg of a body. I fell backwards onto my bottom but before I could stand up, Tibbet had reached me and held the rapier against my throat.  
"Actually Gardner would want me to let you live. But what he doesn´t know..." His grin became diabolic but before he could hurt me with the blade, I had grabbed beside me, took a load of dirt into my hand and threw it into his face.

Tibbet stumbled back swearing and gave me the time to leap up and run off. I ran towards the coastal street but Tibbet had recovered sooner than I had expected it. He was close behind me and amazingly quick for his body weight. He shoved the pommel of his rapier against my back, made me stumble with that action and I fell down. This time I landed on my belly but I kicked out at him before he could come closer to me. Now I was really afraid and instinctively I crawled to a body that was lying in the dirt not far from me. I reached out my hand for the blade next to the dead man but before I could get it, Tibbet was over me, shoved his foot into my side and brought me onto my back.  
Now I saw his face again, covered in the dirt I had thrown at him. Unfortunately it made him look even more frightening and he laid his rapier against my neck again, let it wander down to my neckline.  
"How tragic that you have to die in man-clothing. You looked fantastic in this red dress." He pressed the rapier point against the sensitive hollow over my collarbone and I gasped as I felt the pain it caused. But I certainly wouldn´t let him kill me while I was lying in the dirt. My hand felt for the rapier again and it was more a reflex than a conscious action as I grabbed the blade, hoicked it and shoved it into Tibbet´s direction, who had bent down to me.

I could feel how it ran through his skin, cut through his flesh as if it was butter but I also felt the disgusting scarping as it brushed his rips. Tibbet´s eyes almost poured out of his head but the grin was finally gone. He dropped his own rapier, stumbled backwards and hastily I let go my weapon which was just stuck in his chest. The man stared at the forged piece of steel that was swinging up and down with his movements before he uttered a rasping sound, fell onto his knees and finally to the ground. The eyes opened wide but without life. I couldn´t do anything else but staring into his face while I began to breath hectically. Panic lacing my chest up.  
I had killed a man! I just had pushed a blade into his chest, had felt how it speared him. His skin, his flesh, I had even felt the touch with his bones and believed that I was still feeling it in my hand.

Hastily I crawled backwards, away from Tibbet´s body and I screamed as I was grabbed by my shoulders. I hadn´t heard that someone had approached me and in panic I began to struck at this someone until my wrists were grabbed firmly but gently.  
"Lillian! Lillian, it is alright. It is me."  
My hands trembled but came to a stop and I looked with wide eyes into Connor´s face which was hidden under his hood until he pushed it from his head.  
"What are you doing here? I told you to stay behind." The reproach in his voice was unmistakable and also his frown was showing his disapproval in face of my next disobedience. But this expression vanished quickly as I burst into tears and only now he noticed Tibbet who was lying only a few metres away.

"I´ve killed him", I uttered in a tearful voice. "I just killed him and it was...too easy. It happened too quickly and...and I..." My voice broke and my chest tightened convulsively with my sobs. Connor wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest, his forehead leaned against my head. "It is alright", he said quietly. "You had to defend yourself. There was nothing else you could do."  
"But he´s dead. I´ve killed him." This was the only thought I had. Of course I had only defended myself because if I hadn´t, I would be the one lying there now. But the fact that I had ended somebody´s life, outweighed in this moment.

"Now calm yourself." Connor laid his hands on my shoulders and held me a bit away from him. His gaze fell onto the spot on my collar bone, where Tibbet had pressed down his blade. I felt a dull throbbing there but as Connor stroked with his thumb over the spot, I noticed that I was bleeding.  
"The wound is not deep, it should soon stop bleeding", he said objectively but I heard the tension behind this words. Maybe he would have killed Tibbet himself if I hadn´t got in ahead of him.  
"Do you have other injuries?"  
I shook my head silently while I tried to keep my tears under control. The assassin laid a hand on my cheek and gently stroke their wet traces away. "I am sorry that I was not here earlier", he said quietly.  
"Where have you been?"  
Connor pulled back his hand and his gaze became sad as he looked to the street. "With Noel. He fled from the house but was already wounded and did not come far."  
My heart began to beat painfully in my chest and I bit my lower lip as it began to tremble. Tears rose into my eyes again. "So he´s...?"  
Connor nodded. "He just died. They wounded him badly to learn what they wanted to know. He told them but...he could tell me where the Shroud is, too."  
I stared at him with wide eyes while he held his gaze down.  
"So we have to go there now. Gardner surely is on his way already."  
He nodded. "I tied two horses by the street. We should leave soon even though I do not like the thought that you and the boy are coming with me. But I guess there is no place where you are safe enough."

 _Oh God, Caleb._  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trembling. Noel was dead, just as Ale. He had nothing and no one anymore.  
"I just found Ale. He´s also...we have to tell Caleb. But I don´t know..." My voice broke again.  
"Where is he?"  
My eyes opened with the question and I nodded into the direction, where I had left the boy behind. Connor stood up, helped me on my feet, laid an arm around my waist, because my legs didn´t obey me and silently we walked back the way I had come from. Caleb had hid behind a rock, like I had told him and leaped up as he heard us coming. He stared at us with wide eyes, his gaze slit back and forth between Connor and me. "Where´s grandfather? And where´s Ale?"  
Connor took his arm from my waist and kneeled down in front of the boy whose gaze became more and more afraid.  
"They are both dead, Caleb", Connor said calmly, directly, without further ado and laid a hand on the child´s shoulder. "I am sorry, I...could not help them."  
They boy stared at Connor with disbelief and I could see the pain on his young face. The eyes filled with tears and he burst into loud sobbing as he wrapped his arms around Connor´s neck. The assassin put his arms around him and stroke with his hand through the blonde hair. He kneeled with his back towards me but I could imagine that this situation wasn´t easy for him. Like before, when he had apologized to me, I had heard the self-reproach in his voice. He hadn´t been able to spare the boy the grief like he hadn´t been able to protect me from the experience to take somebody´s life.

Slowly I stepped closer to them, put a hand on Connor´s shoulder and squeezed it gently.  
"We should go. Caleb, we will follow the men who did this and they are going to pay for it. I promise."  
Connor turned his head towards me and looked at me completely seriously. "But you will hold yourself back." He freed himself from the embrace and looked into the boy´s eyes. "I promise that they will not get away with it. But if the two of you come with me, you will have to stay in the background. These men are dangerous."  
Caleb whipped his sleeve over his tear stained face and nodded. "But what about Cherry?", he asked hoarsely and our gazes slid to the little mare.  
"She is tough. She will cope alone. We cannot take her with us."  
The boy nodded again but reluctantly. But Connor was right. Cherry would be in our way but she was strong enough to survive on her own. So we freed her from her harness and Caleb cuddled her for a last time before he gave her a slap on the croup. The animal seemed to understand, neighed quietly before it turned on its heel and ran off. We looked after her only shortly before Connor led us to the horses he had told me about before. We went the long way round the farm on purpose because we wanted to spare Caleb this sight. Connor mounted one of the horses, me the other and Caleb climbed behind me. He was totally silent. Different than usual and I was worried about that. But what should you expect from a child who had just lost everything what it had known in his life?


	40. Chapter 40

_Hey guys,_

 _here we go again. But before I let you read the chapter, I want to "talk" about something with you. I already said so many times before, that I´m really happy about your reactions to this story and that you like it. It´s a huge compliment for me when I see, that you can´t wait for the next update. But you really don´t need to beg for it, when you see that it had been a while since the last update and you don´t need to remind me of the date, where I last updated. I know that exactly and even though I know that you´re just waiting for the update and want to know what´s going to happen next: To beg doesn´t make me work faster. In the contrary. Especially the last month was a tough one for me. First of all my dog died on Dec 22 and I didn´t feel like writing at all for almost two weeks. I even took a break from writing my german main project. Then there was christmas which I don´t spend in front of the computer. But beside these particular circumstances: I still have a real life and other projects I have to and want to work on. So it will always take some time before I can update here, but I will always do my best to do it as soon as possible. And like I have said once: I´m not going to break off this story. So please be patient, there will always be an update. ;)_

 _But now to another topic: From this chapter on I have to speak out a huge "Thanks" to **debatable-cerealkiller** , who´s going to support me in getting rid of my grammar mistakes. Thanks for your effort. :) The chapter is going to be reuploaded, as soon as it is corrected.  
_

 ** _Reviews:_**

 ** _To tina:_ **_Well, I see no reason why I shouldn´t translate the sequel as well. As long as you want me to do it of course. ;)_

 _ **To Guesty:** Thanks for your nice greetings. I enjoyed my holiday even though it wasn´t as happy as I hoped it would be. But well. Life goes on. :) I just hope you had a happy holiday yourself. To answer your question: The story takes place in 1783_

 ** _To Ratonhnhaké:ton:_** _Well I don´t know how to answer your question. Yes, there will be mature content in the sequel but I don´t know what you mean with: "details". I´m not a fan of "pure" smut with every single detail in it. That´s porn and I don´t want to write porn. When I write a sex scene, I describe what happens but not in every single detail. I want it to be aestethic, if you know what I mean. So I really can´t say if my mature scenes are mature enough for you. ;)_

 ** _To SchadenFreude95:_** _First of all, I had to smile about your name. A german word, yeees. :D Thank you for your review. I´m glad that you like this story so much and that it´s even your favourite Connor/OC fic. That´s a huge compliment. Thank you. :)_

 ** _To A.L.:_** _Thank you so much for the compliment and encouraging words. It´s really difficult for me to translate but I keep on doing my best. :) About the punctuation: The problem is that I don´t know if there are differences between English punctuation rules and the German ones. So I use the German rules, because I´m used to them and they even are my weakness in German texts so I can´t promise anything. :D_

* * *

 **Everybody gets what he deserves**

During the ride, Connor told us what Noel had told him before he died. The Shroud was with a small group who called themselves "Guardians" and the old man himself had belonged to them. The Guardians used to be assassins once but didn´t belong to the brotherhood anymore for ages. One of their forefathers had come into possession of the Shroud almost two hundred years ago and had hid it on this island. He had wanted to prevent further fights for the Shroud which probably had cost more lives than the Shroud could have saved. Now it was in Muness Castle, an old castle which had been given up thirty years ago and was partly destroyed. Obviously a trick of the Guardians to distract from the Shroud´s whereabouts but when they were investing so much effort into its safety: What was awaiting us?

Caleb had sat behind me silently the whole time and had followed Connor´s and my conversation. The arms wrapped around my waist and the head leaned against my back, I had believed that he was asleep. But we adults had barely remained silent as the boy moved.  
"Lillian?", he asked quietly.  
"Yes, little one?" I glanced over my shoulder and saw that he looked somewhere to the ground, still pale and with reddened eyes.  
"If this Shroud is so special, do you think that I could bring back grandfather and Ale?"  
His question left me almost helpless because I heard the hope in it. The hope that everything was going to be like it had been before. Could I take this comprehensible hope from a child? How often I had wished after my parents' death that they would come back somehow. But it had been mercilessly made clear to me that this would never be the case. But back then I hadn´t known that there was something that was able to undo the death.

I sighed deeply and put a hand on Caleb´s arm. "I don´t know", I said honestly. "We don´t even know if this Shroud really exists and if it has the power they say it does. It could be only a legend. But even if it does exist...I couldn´t answer your question. Maybe it´s possible but you shouldn´t have too much hope."  
The boy swallowed heavily and I heard a quiet sniff before the grip of his arms around my waist became firmer. "So I maybe have to stay alone?"  
Shortly I exchanged a look with Connor. I was quite sure that the assassin wouldn´t allow it that Caleb stayed behind alone, just as I wouldn´t. So I squeezed the boy´s arms and said gently: "We won´t leave you alone. I promise."

Again a sniff before Caleb murmured: "You know, you´re not as bad as I thought you are. I would even marry you if no one else doesn´t want to."  
I had to grin about his words. His quick tongue hadn´t got lost and that was at least something.  
"That´s kind of you. We can talk about it in ten years but then I want a proper proposal, understood?"  
My gaze was turned over my shoulder again and I saw how Caleb actually smirked. A heart-warming sight. "With a ring and so on?"  
"With a ring, you have to kneel before me and I want flowers and a song."  
The boy screw up his face. "But that´s quite lavish."  
"I could go without the song." I chuckled while Caleb was frowning thoughtfully and nodded finally.  
"I will think about it."  
"Do it."  
Shaking my head and still with a smile on my lips, I looked straightforward again. That´s how you caught yourself a ten-years-old possible fiancé. If I only had known that earlier...  
My smile began to sway as the castle ruin appeared in front of us.

The walls of the first floor were everything what was left from Muness Castle. They were partly collapsed and a roof was completely missing. Furthermore it was much smaller than I had imagined it. It had only the area of an ordinary house. How should a treasure and its guardians find shelter there? Not to forget a group of templars. Nobody was to be seen except of a single rider.  
Connor and I had stopped the horses and looked tensed to the ruin. We were too far away to identify the person but as he or she directed the horse into our direction, Connor immediately pulled out his tomahawk and drove his horse on. This time he didn´t need to give orders. Caleb and I stayed behind and watched how the two riders came closer to each other in full gallop. It reminded me of a scene in the Middle Ages, when knights in full armour tried to shove each other from their horses with lances. But I hoped that this meeting would end without serious consequences. Especially for Connor. But instead of raising their weapons against each other, they reined in their horses right before they met and stopped in front of each other. I leaned a bit forward in the saddle, hoping that I could see the rider´s face, but like Connor he was wearing a hood.

The assassin turned his torso into our direction and gave a sign that we should come closer. So I pressed my tights into the horse´s side and directed it to him and the unknown person, who wasn´t so unknown. That was what I noticed as we came nearer.  
"Lester!" I couldn´t hide my joy to see him again and I recognized the faint smile underneath the hood. "How did you find this place?"  
I stopped our horse next to Connor and scrutinized the other assassin with curiosity. So often I had asked myself what might have happened to him and was relieved to see that he was fine.  
"Well, after I had left you, I wandered over the island and came to this place accidentally. The guardians arrested me but when I promised them to leave Unst, they let me go. I wanted to go back to you but something held me back. I came here again and saw how the templars entered the castle. It was only recently. I just wanted to leave to get you to secure Connor´s support." Lester looked at the younger assassin whose gaze was directed to the castle.  
"How many?", Connor asked shortly.  
"About six men and Gardner. The guardians are three."  
"And you did not decide to help them?" An undisguised reproach sounded in Connor´s voice whereupon Lester frowned irritated. "I´ve never doubted one of your decisions, brother."  
When Connor uttered a scornful snort, I raised my hands and intervened. I wanted to prevent a fight while the templars weren´t far from us. Everything else was unimportant. Luckily the two men listened to me and after Lester had proposed that we should ride to the castle, we did.

Even when I stood inside the castle, it didn´t get into my head how someone should be hiding here. The only sign of the templar´s presence were the tied horses. But no man in sight. Only old walls, collapsed stairs and piles of rubble.  
"And where is this hideout?" Connor wanted to know from Lester while we dismounted our horses and looked around. The grandmaster gave no answer but led us a bit further inside Muness Castle and stopped in front of an inconspicuous trapdoor.  
"Very few know that a complete system of tunnels and caves has been broken into the rock during the castle´s construction. It already served the guardians as a hideout as the castle was still inhabited. Now where it is abandoned, it´s even more ideal."  
"Visible for everyone but still invisible", I murmured and Lester nodded while he grabbed the iron ring that served as a handle. He turned it and opened the trapdoor bit by bit. His other hand lay on the handle of his rapier while Connor had his tomahawk ready. Ready if our enemies were already waiting for us. But everything was silent. Curious I glanced past the two men and caught a glimpse on narrow stone steps that led into the dark twilight of the underground. Without saying a word, Connor went ahead and began to climb down the stairs. I followed him, Caleb behind me, Lester was the last and closed the trapdoor behind us.

Without the daylight, we were now captured in the darkness, the only light coming from the torches at the other end of the staircase. The air was cold, musty and I felt unpleasantly reminded of the time in the assassin´s hideout. Obviously the underground was a popular hideout for everybody but I was not going to like that. How could someone spend his time underground on purpose? Without sunlight. Without fresh air. I was already shivering as we walked downwards. The staircase seemed to be endless and I shivered with the thought that we were underground again and even more that we weren´t alone. An enemy could hide in every dark corner and if I had to die, then please not underneath the ground. All of us were going to get there soon enough.  
Feeling uncomfortable, I wrapped my arms around my torso and gave a sigh of relief as we finally reached the end of the staircase. The corridors here were enlightened by torches and oil lamps but still not entirely visible. We had two options. One narrow corridor straight on and a likewise narrow corridor to the right. No sound came from each one of them. It was scary.  
"Do you know where they are?" Connor asked his assassin brother in a low voice which was nevertheless echoing from the walls.  
"The room where they keep the Shroud is down this corridor." Lester pointed to the tunnel that led straight on. "It´s long but has no branches that could mislead you."  
"You already saw the Shroud?"  
Lester glanced at me shortly as I asked this question but his gaze was firmly directed straightforward when he answered: "I didn´t see it but I heard that it is there."

I frowned but nodded slowly. I was just wondering that Lester suddenly was so relaxed. That he had accepted that the guards had sent him away. When he had left us, he had been almost obsessed with the thought of getting the Shroud before Gardner did. He had had the opportunity but hadn´t used it.  
 _Maybe it became clear to him that he had been controlled by this thought._  
I scrutinized the older assassin whose face I couldn´t see under the hood. He seemed to be tensed. But he wasn´t the only one. Connor hadn´t had the patience anymore, to stay with us but had gone a bit into the corridor Logan had talked about. I wanted to follow him but he already came back and pointed with his tomahawk to the other corridor. "Do you know where it leads to?"  
Lester´s gaze followed his signal. "To the quarters, as far as I know."  
Connor nodded. "I will go to the Shroud and take care of the templars. You bring Lillian and the boy to safety. Then you will come after me."  
Lester nodded, even though he as the grandmaster didn´t had to take orders from the other assassin. But he agreed, unlike me.  
"You can´t go alone!"  
I didn´t like the thought that Connor would get into a fight on his own. Lone warrior or not, he couldn´t be so careless and go without the help of another skilled fighter. But of course I knew deep inside, that it was naive to think that I could change his mind. He approached me, laid a hand on my shoulder, stroked down my arm and finally grabbed my hand.  
"We do not know what is awaiting us and that is why I want you and Caleb to hide somewhere until I come back to you. Gardner could already have the Shroud in his hands and that is why there is no time to lose, but I am not going to let you walk around here on your own as long as you are not safe. Please, Lillian: Listen to me."  
I pinched my lips and wanted to contradict him. But he was right again. The templars were in the majority and probably Connor and Lester would be unnecessarily detained and endangered by Caleb and me. But why did Connor need to be the first to go? A sigh escaped my lips and I looked down to his hand holding mine in a gentle grip before I nodded. Connor gave a sigh of relief, stroked his thumb over the back of my hand and pulled his hand back. "Be careful", he said before he nodded shortly into Lester´s direction and disappeared in the corridor with quick, silent steps. Only from time to time, the white of his coat flashed up in the flickering light of the lamps before it was swallowed by the shadows again.  
 _Just be careful yourself._  
He wasn´t the only one who was concerned. I was afraid of what was probably awaiting him in the end of his path and I was even more afraid of that the last image I had of him in my mind was the one where he disappeared in the shadows. My legs desperately wanted to follow him but I had to suppress this desire. This time I had to listen to him, no matter if I liked it or not. This time it wasn´t about me or my stubbornness. It was also about Caleb and like Connor, I didn´t want him to be confronted with Gardner and his men. Now I was responsible for him and so I protectively laid an arm around his shoulders as Lester indicated to us that we should follow him.

Silently he led us through the dark catacombs and I got nothing else to see but his broad back. The silence and darkness almost drove me insane but I tried to stay as calm as possible. Caleb hadn´t said a word since our short, childish conversation during our ride but I could feel that he was shivering from time to time. He must be as afraid as I was and I hoped that my presence was at least a bit reassuring for him. Everything he had experienced today was enough and I was sure that it would be better if he didn´t need to be here.  
"Are we there yet? I don´t feel well with the thought that Connor is on his own for so long."  
Even now Lester didn´t turned around but kept going. We had already passed several corners and junctions but he hadn´t hesitated once. He seemed to know exactly where we had to go.  
"We´re almost there. Connor will be alright." His voice sounded dull and I began to feel uncomfortable. His behaviour was frightening and didn´t fit to the image of this friendly, unreserved man I had got to know. The emotional outburst at Noel´s already hadn´t fit into this image but back then I had thought that he only had been tensed. He was under great pressure. But why was he so strange? So close to his aim.

Something was wrong and as voices drifted to us from the corridor, it finally became clear to me that something wasn´t going according to plan. Because I knew one of these voices.  
"Stop, Lester", I whispered and stopped, pulling Caleb close to my side. "Gardner is somewhere over there. We should go and get Connor..."  
I winced as Lester turned around and grabbed my arm ruggedly. "I hope that Connor takes his time", he said shortly but when he looked into my eyes, I noticed regret in his gaze and an ice cold feeling seized my heart.  
"What´s the matter?" My voice was only a whisper as Lester pulled Caleb and me to his side and pushed us towards the voices.  
"I´m so sorry, Lillian. But I have no choice. But I promise: Nothing will happen to you. He said that he doesn´t want to harm you."

We approached the narrow archway that led into a round chamber. It was brightly illuminated but without any decoration on walls or floor. It was entirely empty except of the people. Two armed men stood at its entry and grinned widely as we passed them. Inside the chamber itself were four more men with weapons and in their midst stood Gardner and an old woman who wore a for assassins typical hood. I couldn´t see anything from her face because she had bowed her head. To her feet lay the bodies of two young men who wore similar clothes like her. They were covered with blood and I didn´t have to guess who was responsible for that. When Gardner noticed us, he turned towards us and it made me feel sick as he cleaned his bloodstained rapier with a cloth, smiling smugly.  
"Miss Lillian! What a pleasure to see you. I had my doubts if our assassin friend said the truth when he told us that you came here with him."  
Lester let my arm go but now the templar approached me and grabbed my hand to breathe a kiss on its back. As he had done so many times before. But now I didn´t feel flattered. I felt disgusted and wanted to snatch my hand away from him if he wouldn´t hold it so painfully firm.

His blue eyes bored into my gaze and I had trouble looking at him. I couldn´t look away and show him that I felt fear of him, beside my hate.  
"You know, I really regret how our last meeting ended. But I was shocked when I saw you with the savage. But how I heard from Lester, this problem is already solved, isn´t it? A bit disappointing that this dog fell victim to his wounds so quickly, if you ask me. But well...what else should I expect from someone like him?"  
He thought Connor was dead? Why had Lester told him that?  
For the split of a second, I frowned and looked to the grandmaster, who shook his head almost imperceptibly. He didn´t want me to say something. Gardner shouldn´t learn that Connor was alive and not far away. At least I hoped so. But why?

"Aren´t you the boy who escaped us at the old man´s?"  
An ice cold fright ran through my body as Gardner turned towards Caleb. The boy stared at the templar as if he was the devil himself and this comparison wasn´t so far-fetched. A diabolic smile had appeared on Gardner´s lips while I pushed Caleb behind me.  
"Leave him in peace. You already did enough to him." I myself was surprised how firm and threatening my voice sounded. Even though I was afraid of him: Gardner had to stay away from the boy and I would take care of that if it was necessary. Now the templar gave me an amused look and bowed his head assumed respectfully.  
"Who would have thought that you have something like a maternal instinct. I´m almost impressed. But I´m getting the feeling that you´re defending everything that comes from the gutter."  
I was seething internally. This innocent undertone in his voice, as if he was making a polite conversation. I couldn´t believe that I had thought once, that this man was charming and a pleasant company. God, I had been blinded. He was the most terrible man I had ever met and now we were completely at his mercy. He lay in wait in front of us like a predator and we had an assassin behind us who had brought us into this situation. Who had betrayed us. Was I really such a poor judge of character?

Gardner smiled a bright smile now and clapped his hands before he pointed to the woman, who was standing there motionlessly and silently.  
"Lillian, I would like to introduce you to this lady. Unfortunately I don´t know her name but that´s not important anyway. Because she will be the one who gives me the Shroud and you can be witness of this moment. That´s why I asked Lester to bring you here."  
He looked to the old woman, pulled out his rapier and let it wave beneath her nose. She didn´t move an inch.  
"Now that we finally are in such a charming company, you should be able to force yourself to give me the Piece of Eden, shouldn´t you? I mean: What else do I have to do? Your comrades are already dead but it seems that you don´t care." Gardner had begun to pace around the woman, slapping the flat side of his blade against the palm of his hand.  
"How many men do you want to see dying before you give me the damn Shroud? It could be so much easier if you would be more cooperative. Or was the incentive not big enough?"

Gardner had grabbed Caleb´s arm and had torn him away from me before I could prevent it. Terrified I jumped forward but Gardner was already pressing his rapier against the boy´s throat and shook his head, clicking his tongue.  
"As you can see: The Lady doesn´t want me to harm the child and I can understand that. But I almost believe that I have no choice if you don´t help me, old woman."  
His gaze as well as mine lay on the woman who was still not moving. What was wrong with her? Didn´t she care about all that? Desperate I approached her, grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly. "For heaven´s sake, give him the Shroud. That´s a child and Gardner isn´t just joking when he says that he´s going to hurt him. I´m begging you!"  
I gave a short, pleading gaze to Lester, but he was looking away. Pure fear was lacing my throat up as I now saw the panic in Caleb´s eyes. I didn´t want him to be hurt. Not because he got into Gardner´s hands. Why didn´t this woman give up her resistance? I couldn´t believe that she could place the value of an object over the value of a child´s life. "Please", I whispered and finally, she raised her head.

She looked at me with an inscrutable gaze before she turned away wordlessly and approached a niche in the wall behind her. The scratching of stone on stone sounded, then a metallic crack and inside the wall opened a shelf. Almost fascinated I watched the woman grabbing into the shelf and taking out a plain hat box-sized case. With an expressionless face she went to Gardner, whose eyes had widened and who pushed Caleb roughly into my direction. Pure greed lay in his gaze as he reached out his hands for the case and took it from the woman. Hastily he let the lock snap open and lifted the lid.

I had wrapped my arms around Caleb whose entire body was trembling. I wanted to take him away from here but I couldn´t stop myself from staring at Gardner who grabbed into the case and took out a white cloth. A sheet. Nothing more. It was a simple, white piece of fabric in the size of a bed sheet that had nothing special on it expect of the fact that it was free of any discolouration. There was no sign that the ravages of time had touched it. It looked completely new but that was all. No stitchery, not even a supernatural shine. It was just a piece of fabric.  
 _And that´s a supernatural object? People died for it?_  
The bewilderment must be visible on my face as Gardner turned towards me, a bright smile on his lips. "I know what you´re thinking", he said amused. "You ask yourself why I wanted this inconspicuous piece of fabric so badly. Do you know its story?"  
"It´s supposed to be able to save people from death. Complete humbug. I think you´ve been taken in by an old wives´ tale. It´s a bed sheet. Nothing more."

Gardner´s smile widened. The wooden case fell to the ground with a loud bang when the templar dropped it carelessly and let the fabric slide through his hands.  
"A bed sheet that was so well protected over many years? Lillian, you can´t believe that. Trust me and my judgement. But maybe you simply need a proof?"  
He cocked his head and a shiver ran down my spine as his gaze became lurking. I already knew that it couldn´t mean something good and unfortunately I was right. Gardner laid the Shroud over his arm and pulled out his pistol with his free hand. A click and it was unlocked, its barrel turned on Caleb and me and I pushed the boy behind me.  
"I´m wondering on whom it works best. On someone who´s already dead for some time..." The barrel pointed down to the bodies at our feet. "...or on someone who´s passing the threshold or left it behind already." His smile became cold as he trained the weapon on me. I saw from the corners of my eyes how Lester took a step forward and pointed threateningly at Gardner.

"You said that nothing would happen to her as soon as you have the Shroud. Be satisfied finally and leave."  
The templar gave the assassin a disparaging gaze but his nod didn´t match with his expression.  
"You´re right. To test it on her wouldn´t be appropriate to our agreement. So you want to volunteer?"  
I uttered a scream when the shot echoed deafeningly from the walls and I saw how Lester fell struck to the ground. Eyes widened, mouth open and the hand pressed on his chest where a red, bloody rose was blooming. I grabbed Caleb´s wrist and pulled him with me as I hurried to Lester and kneeled beside him. The grandmaster lay on his back, struggling for breath. His eyes searched mine as I pressed my hands on the wound on his chest. His blood ran warm against my hands.  
"I´m so sorry." Lester´s voice was nothing more than a whisper.  
"It´s alright. Be quiet", I uttered between clenched teeth but the grandmaster grabbed one of my wrists surprisingly firmly and shook his head.  
"Gardner promised that we could negotiate about the peace between assassins and templars, if I help him to find the Shroud. I met him when I was seeking for information about it after Connor had shown us the Shard. I sent him a message before we set sail as I did after I had left you at the old man´s. I was so stupid. I really believed that I could trust Gardner."  
A tear left the corner of his eye and he took a shaking breath, his face twisted in pain. He was suffering and not only from his wound. He suffered from what he had done.  
"It´s alright", I whispered and stroked his cheek shortly. "You just wanted the best for your brothers. In our despair, we often do something stupid. You don´t have to blame yourself for anything."  
The ghost of a smile appeared on Lester´s face. "There has always been something about your words that stays in my mind. Don´t worry. You still have a trump."  
His voice became more and more quiet and his eyelids began to flutter before they closed finally. The grip around my wrist loosened. Lester was dead.

I had to bite my lower lip to suppress a sob. He had made a terrible mistake but he hadn´t done it out of malice. But what did his last words mean? What trump?  
Frightened I winced as a piece of white linen was held under my nose and trembling I looked up to Gardner who was giving me the Shroud.  
"Wrap it around him. This drivel already took enough time. Let´s see if we can bring this poor devil back."  
I stared at the Shroud but took it hesitantly. Carefully I laid an arm under Lester´s torso, lifted it a bit and wrapped the Shroud around his shoulders to close it over his chest. An unbearable silence spread while we looked down at the grandmaster and waited for something to happen. But nothing happened. We waited for several minutes but Lester didn´t move and the Shroud didn´t change, too. No glow or something like that. It only looked like I had wrapped a body into a shroud and well...I hadn´t done anything else. This also became aware to Gardner now.

Furious he turned towards the old woman who was still standing where she had taken out the case.  
"Why does nothing happen? He should wake up! The wound must be healing! The Shroud is useless!"  
I had expected that the woman wouldn´t react again but she raised her head and looked at Gardner, completely calm. "Of course it is", she said and ignored the hatred that Gardner showed towards her.  
"So you palmed a fake off on me?"  
"Whatever you think I´ve done, I did, yes."  
"So you will get me the real Shroud immediately or I swear, I will kill the boy. His blood will be on your hands then."  
The old woman showed no reaction but this didn´t matter at the moment anyway.

A sudden agitation broke out near the entrance and when I looked to it, the two guards fell backwards and with slit throats through the archway before a man in a white coat jumped over them and landed agilely on the floor. The tomahawk in his hand spun about its axis and the blade flashed up in the light of the torches.  
"You? I thought you finally came to your miserable end!" Gardner left the old woman alone and stamped, accompanied by his remaining men, towards Connor.  
Our trump.  
Had Lester sent him away from us deliberately? So that he could make a surprise attack when it was necessary? No matter what was behind it, I was incredibly relieved to see the assassin who stood tensed and ready to fight and fixed his eyes on Gardner.  
"I guess you were misinformed", he growled whereupon Gardner uttered an angry noise.  
"Let me correct it then." He gave a signal and the four men stormed towards Connor.

The assassin took the bow from his back and struck it into the men´s direction. He hit two of them on their heads and they went dazed to the ground while Connor ducked flexibly under the hit of a sword and rammed his tomahawk into the back of the attacker. Now that he hadn´t the wall in his back anymore, he was able to move freely but his gaze wandered shortly to Caleb and me.  
"To the wall", he said before he had to tear up his tomahawk and block another attack. I grabbed the boy by his hand and hurried with him to the other end of the room where I pulled him into my arms and shielded his gaze from the fight in the centre of the room. Another guard had fallen victim to the assassin and now there were only two who were revolving around him and took turns to try to hit him with their blades. Connor could do nothing else but evade them but soon he took his bow again and used it to keep the blades away from his neck, while he could pushed his attackers towards the wall. They pranced backwards, concentrated on hitting him somehow but with the wall in their back, they had no room to move anymore. As one of them tried to strike Connor again, the assassin tore up his bow and knocked the rapier out of his attackers hand. In one fluid motion, Connor hit the bow against the man´s neck and had the freedom to block the other´s attack with his tomahawk and eliminate him with a well-directed stroke against his throat. Both of them were history shortly afterwards but there was still Gardner.

The templar had hectically begun to reload his pistol but when he trained it on Connor, the assassin reacted faster. He had laid an arrow on the bowstring and shot at the weapon. It was flung out of the templar´s hand who swore and pulled out his rapier but Connor shot it out of his hand, too. Now the assassin dropped the bow and stormed towards Gardner who turned away and ran to his pistol. But Connor jumped against his legs, made him fall and both began to struggle on the ground for a moment. I saw Connor´s hidden blade flashing up and Gardner tried to repel it with his bare hand. The men´s faces were screwed up with anger and I could hear them pant in exertion. But finally Gardner couldn´t keep up his defence anymore. A groan sounded as Connor buried the blade into Gardner´s chest. I saw how a trickle of blood ran out of the templar´s mouth who only stared at Connor and chuckled. But the laughing died away with a gurgling noise and he lay motionless.  
Connor didn´t say a word but just looked to me with a grim expression. Our gazes met for a moment before I was distracted by a movement beneath Connor´s feet. Appalled I took my arms from Caleb and ran.  
Gardner was still alive.  
He fished for his pistol and when Connor turned around to him, he growled: "Everybody gets what he deserves."  
Then a shot sounded.


	41. Chapter 41

_Hey everyone :)_

 _So there´s the next chapter and thank´s everyone for the reviews. Don´t have to say more. :)_

 ** _Reviews:_**

 ** _To Guesty:_** _Yes, it really wasn´t so easy to handle because it was unexpected. In May we were told that he has cancer but they said we could have one year before it becomes worse. Unfortunately it happened earlier and we decided to "release" him before the pain starts to become unbearable for him. I don´t know the english term for it. My dictionary says "to put an animal to sleep"? Maybe you know what I mean. Anyway, the fact that I know that he´s not in pain anymore and that he had 12 great years with us comforts me. It would have been worse for me if he would have been suffering. He was very sick but not so sick that he wasn´t able to enjoy life anymore, so we chose the right time to let him go and that´s what the vet said, too. And in fact I´m sure that he thought that, too. I´ve never seen him so peaceful in the presence of a vet before. Thank you for your review and revies in general and I´m looking forward to read more from you. :)_

* * *

 **About Living and Dying**

It seemed like time had stopped for a moment. I only saw how Connor caught my scared gaze before he whirled around to Gardner and thrust the blade into Gardner´s chest again. This time directly into his heart. But nevertheless the templar had been able to fire a shot that was still roaring in my ears. Connor turned around to me and I saw a bleeding wound at his side.  
"You´re bleeding", I whispered and tried to make a step towards the assassin but suddenly my legs weakened.  
"No", I heard him utter before Connor was by my side and caught me. His strong arms wrapped around my torso and he pulled me halfway on his lap, bedded my head on his arm and pulled me to his chest. My whole body was trembling because suddenly I felt so cold. But why?  
"Lie still", Connor murmured to me and a scream escaped my lips as he pressed a hand on my belly. A burning pain filled my whole body and I saw black spots dancing through my vision. It was hard to breath but I raised my head and looked to his hand on my belly. Blood was seeping through his fingers.  
My blood.  
Gardner hadn´t shot at Connor but at me.  
"But you´re bleeding", I uttered and reached out a hand for the wound at his side. A narrow cut as if a blade had brushed him. Connor´s gaze followed mine but he shook his head and stroked gently over my cheek. "I am fine. Do not worry."

Shivering I took a deep breath. It was hard to breath and I began to feel as if a weight was resting on my chest. Did it feel like this when you were dying?  
Hot tears rose into my eyes and ran unstoppably over my cheeks when I looked at Connor. He appeared calm but I could see the pain in his eyes that was even stoking my fear.  
"I don´t want that", I said with a quiet voice and had to concentrate on every single word while every sob caused terrible pain. "I don´t want to die."  
Recently it had become aware to me that death could overtake somebody sooner than you wanted it. I had known that I had been in danger. But now that it seemed like my time had come, I couldn´t and didn´t want to accept it. I wanted to live! I just had begun to free myself from the chains I had caught myself in and to do what I wanted. To love who I wanted. Why should this be over now?

A part of me hoped that Connor would tell me that everything was going to be alright. That I didn´t have to die. Because he would never lie to me. But he didn´t. He just looked at me with these endlessly sad eyes and stroked my hair while I felt how with the blood my life was leaving my body, too. Maybe it was a miracle that I was still alive. But it was an agony. To feel how your strength was leaving the own body even though you had the will to live. The helplessness I felt was also visible in Connor´s eyes. I wasn´t the only one who suffered.  
"I am so sorry", he murmured and I already knew what he was thinking. That it was his fault. That he should have stopped Gardner. I completely forgot my own pain for a moment and reached out a shivering hand to him to lay it on his cheek.  
"You need to stop this. You can´t always blame yourself", I said gently and looked deeply into his eyes before my hand slid weakly from his cheek.

I even hadn´t the strength to breath and my eyelids closed over and over again. I was struggling for my consciousness, wanted to hold back the darkness just for a moment while I tried to look at Connor.  
"Will you stay with me?"  
He nodded, bent down to me and kissed my lips gently before he leaned his forehead against mine. Like this morning I felt his breath stroking over my cheeks and this feeling of bliss seized me again. Repressed the pain and everything it had brought with it. A quiet sigh left my lips and I allowed my eyes to close.  
"Now I´m not afraid anymore", I whispered before I let myself be taken away from the nothingness that was seizing my body and my soul.

* * *

 _ **Connor**_

She was gone.  
The trembling of her body subsided and also the expression of pain on her face disappeared. A smiled had appeared on her lips with her last words and suddenly she appeared so peaceful as if she was asleep. But she wasn´t going to wake up again.  
Carefully Connor pulled her tender body closer to him and buried his face into her hair that smelled so wonderful. Of flowers and grasses. The scent of a clear morning in spring when the nature was waking up.  
He remembered this morning – had it just been today? – when she had spoken out the fear that the stench of London was sticking on her. Connor had thought that she had been joking but he had seen that she had been totally serious. Lillian never had been able to hide her feelings and because of that she never had been able to lie to him. She always had been an open book to him but somehow she had managed it to surprise him. With her behaviour or with her words. Unpredictable like a thunderstorm in summer.

The assassin pinched his lips when he was seized by the well-known pain of grief. He had already lost so many people and sometime he had believed that it would become easier. Had mourned in silence and had tried to keep the pain from becoming superior. To carry on. Every setback had made him stronger somehow. But why Lillian? Gardner could have shot him. He had had the possibility because Connor had stood right next to him. But the templar had used all his last strength to aim at her.  
 _Everybody gets what he deserves._  
So in his opinion, she had deserved to die? Because she had turned him away? Or had he shot at her to show him, Connor, that he didn´t deserve her? He would never learn it but was it important anyway? She was dead and no matter for what reason: It was wrong.

A sob made him raise his head. Caleb kneeled in front of him, crying bitterly and staring at Lillians dead body. In his shaking hands he held a white piece of fabric. The Shroud that just had been wrapped around Lester´s body. But it was completely clean. There was no blood. Caleb held it towards Connor and looked at him almost imploringly. His bottom lip trembled.  
"Please, try it. Bring her back, that´s not fair."  
Connor stared at the inconspicuous piece of fabric. It was a fake, that´s what he had heard. It hadn´t worked on Lester, why should it work on Lillian?  
"Caleb, I do not think that..."  
"Try it."  
The assassin´s gaze wandered to the old woman who had stood aside and had approached them now. Her face was barely visible but she pointed at the Shroud in Caleb´s hands. Distrustful Connor frowned and pulled Lillian even closer to him as if he feared that she could be taken away from him.  
"You said that it is useless."  
The old woman cocked her head and he believed to see a smile underneath the hood.  
"The Shroud is whatever it decides to be. You can´t control it. It obeys no will. It decides who lives and who´s not worthy to live. Nobody can tell if its power works. You have to try."  
Caleb held out the Shroud to him again and Connor took it after some hesitation.

He remembered how Lillian had asked him, if he would use the Shroud when he had the chance. If he would save someone who was close to him. He had answered that he didn´t know what he would do and that was the case now. Connor thought that the power of the Shroud was wrong. Nobody should be able to dispose of life and death. But was it an offence when he saved someone who never had had bad intentions? Lillian never had wanted to find the Shroud for herself but only had wanted to prevent that it fell into Gardner´s greedy hands. To decide that he saved her because he didn´t want to lose her would be wrong and selfish. He wanted to safe her for her sake.  
Conner laid the Shroud carefully around Lillians shoulders, wrapped her in it as if he only wanted to cover her with a blanket. Then he just held her in his arms, looked into her silent, pale face and hoped that he would be able to look into this pair of grey eyes again. That he would get the chance again to get worked up about her stubbornness and to hear from her, how terrible she found his behaviour. The assassin didn´t know how long they were sitting there and waited for something to happen. Caleb became more and more restless and Connor was slowly seized by a hopeless feeling, too. It became a certainty that Lillian would never wake up again. The blonde boy in front of him uttered a lamentation and Connor´s heart contracted painfully for a moment. He leaned his forehead against Lillian´s, hoping to cover his face like this, which was contorted in anger and pain.

When this woman had lied to him, then he asked himself what had made the Shroud to decide that Lillian wasn´t worthy to live. She never had hurt anyone, had refused every kind of violence. Not only once she had prevented him from harming someone.  
She had wanted to prevent him from killing her uncle.  
She had stopped him when he had wanted to kill the guards on the soiree.  
She had distracted the guards in Tyburn when they had approached his hideout and their certain death.  
She had suffered under mental pain after she had killed Tibbet. A man who had done so many terrible things and would have ended her life if she hadn´t killed him first.  
Lillian had always been positive towards life. So why didn´t she deserve it?  
"That is not right", he uttered between clenched teeth and clung onto the useless piece of linen.  
"She is worth that you let her live. There is no one who would deserve it more. If you are so mighty and make your own decisions, you should be able to see this! Prove that you are worthy of your title Piece of Eden and not a piece of fabric you can use as a sheet."  
Basically Connor felt ridiculous while talking to an object. But he remembered his experience with the Apple of Eden with that he had been able to talk to a spirit from those who came before. If the Shroud really was a Piece of Eden, it was possible that such a spirit was inside of it that could listen to him. But nothing happened.

His grip on the Shroud loosened and the shoulders of the half native slumped. It was too late. He stroked gently over Lillian´s hair and tried to remember her smile that had graced her lips even in the moment of death. He wanted to remember everything about her and keep these memories in his heart.  
"I will not forget you", Connor whispered and kissed Lillian gently on the forehead before he looked to Caleb, who grabbed Lillian´s hand, eyes red from crying.  
"I really would have proposed to you in ten years. I even would have sung a song." The boy sobbed and wiped his free hand over his nose before his gaze went to the floor. He frowned shortly and he let Lillian´s hand go to grab something that was laying in front of Connor´s knees.  
A blood stained metal bullet.

"Where does that come from?", asked the boy.  
The assassin leaned a bit forward to have a better look at the bullet in Caleb´s hand. It was an ordinary bullet for pistols like he used them, too. But where...?  
Connor´s eyes widened and he unwrapped the Shroud from Lillian´s torso with nervous hands. He had seen her wound. It was impossible that the bullet had gone through her body and that´s why it couldn´t lay on the ground. Lester was too far away. So there was only one possibility that was completely unimaginable at the same time.  
Slowly he pulled up Lillian´s blood saturated shirt and gasped as his gaze fell onto her belly. He could just see how the wound was closing slowly by itself as if the time was running forward. Fresh skin formed, was reddened at first like the newly healed wounds on his back. But the reddening vanished and what was remaining was only a small, circular scar above her navel where the bullet had plunged into Lillian´s body.  
"That is impossible", uttered Connor and Caleb was also staring at this miracle. Did it mean that the Shroud had actually listened to him? That Lillian...?  
Connor´s gaze wandered to her face that was still motionless. But then he heard and felt it: Lillian began to breathe, quietly and hesitantly. Her chest rose and fell, irregularly at first but then more and more regularly. The assassin laid a hand on her cheek as Lillian´s lips began to move silently. She mumbled something, turned her head a bit from side to side and finally she slowly opened her eyes.


	42. Chapter 42

_Here we go again and were quite close to the end. At least, to the end of this part of Lillian´s story. ^^ Two chapters left._

 ** _Reviews:_**

 ** _Guesty:_** _Lucky was a Jack Russel Mix. His father was kind of a pug-border terrier-mix. We don´t even have a clue. But the vet told us that there had to be a Border Terrier in the family because he had the body shape of one. Only his fur was a bit longer. So you could google them and would have a clue of how he looked like. ^^ I´m glad you liked the chapter. ;) I can remember that I was almost crying myself while I wrote it, even though I knew what would happen._

 ** _DeLeche:_** _Of course she´s okay and I´m glad you are, too :D Don´t want anyone to die because of my story._

 ** _Betterdays623:_** _Glad to see you again. :) And of course I couldn´t let her die for real. She´s my baby and right now I´m not hating her so much...yet. No, I´m joking. I want her to have a long and happy life with...whoever. ;) At least Caleb gets his chance now, as long he´s still interested in ten years. :D_

* * *

 **A Life after death**

A dull, blustering headache. That was the first thing I felt. I turned onto my belly with a low groan and buried my head into my pillow.  
 _Wait a second..._  
My torso leaped up and I stared at the four-sided, soft thing that was laying in front of me. A pillow? A bed? Something was wrong here.  
Confused I sat up and looked down at me. I was wearing a night gown and when I pushed my hand over my belly, I couldn´t notice anything painful. No bullet wound, no blood. Only this headache that didn´t get better through the bright light inside of this room. Where was I anyway? I had never seen this room before.  
 _But if this is heaven, it´s comfortable at least,_ I thought while my hand stroked over the mattress.

I didn´t know exactly what had happened. Gardner had shot at me and I had died in Connor´s arms just to wake up in this bed. Another groan escaped my lips as I sank back into the pillow and pressed my hands against my temples. Maybe I wasn´t in heaven but on the brink of hell.  
 _But if there´s a bed..._  
I rolled onto my side and pulled the blanket over my head. As I long as I wasn´t able to think clearly enough, I wouldn´t leave this bed. It was too comfortable for that. But I froze when I heard how the door to this room was opened. Wrapped inside the darkness under the blanket, I listened to quiet steps that were approaching the bed. Then the mattress was pushed down a little when the intruder lay down next to me and I held my breath. Wasn´t I alone in heaven...or on the brink of hell? Was I´m going to be tortured now, after I had enjoyed the comfort of the bed?  
The person seemed to grab over me and put something onto the bedside table at my side of the bed before I felt a hand on my hip. Well, great. Should I pretend to be dead? At least...I was dead somehow. Was it possible to pretend that you´re a dead dead person?  
My instincts told me that I should leap up and run away. But then the blanket was slowly pulled from my face and I actually expected to look into the devil´s face now. But it wasn´t the devil who was smiling at me and my eyes widened.

"What are you doing here?"  
Connor´s smile turned into a grin as he cocked his head. "I made tea for you. Against the headache." He pointed past me towards the bedside table that had a steaming cup of tea on it. Blinking I stared at it before I looked at the assassin in front of me again.  
"I didn´t mean that. I meant...what are you doing here?" I made a vague gesture towards the room. "You´re not...like I am...I mean you´re...still alive."  
Connor paused before he reached out his hand and laid it onto my forehead. "Are you in fever? What nonsense are you talking about?"  
Nonsense? The nerves of this... Irritated I pushed his hand away and sat up, whereupon my head protested painfully. I tried to ignore it while Connor looked at me concerned.  
"Well, I did die. In your arms because Gardner had shot at me. I´m...in heaven I guess but you shouldn´t be here. Or..." I gasped. "Are you dead, too?"  
Connor also sat up now and stared at me as if I had asked him, if I had got a second nose.  
"Who is Gardner? What are you talking about? You are not dead and neither I am. And you are not in heaven. You are home."  
Now he smiled at me gently and laid a hand on my cheek. "You really dreamed quite lively, did you not? Tonight I thought once that you would lash out and I would have to tie you up."  
Now it was on me to stare at him as if he had lost his mind. He didn´t know what happened? He didn´t know who Gardner was? And where was I at home, if I wasn´t dead and in heaven?  
"Do you think, I should call for Dr. White? You are looking pale."  
Dr. White? I knew this name! He was the doctor in the Davenport Homestead but...why should Connor call for him? I understood nothing anymore and fell onto my back with a sigh whereupon Connor´s expression became even more worried. He leaned down to me and kissed my forehead gently before he adjusted the blanket over my body and stood up from the bed.  
"Drink your tea, I will send for Dr. White and I will bring the children to Diana and Catherine. They will take care of them until you are feeling better."  
I just nodded while he gave me another warm smile and left the room. Not until then I leaped up from the bed.  
 _Children?! Whose children?_

I groaned as pain exploded in my head again. Was this a dream? Had I dreamed of Gardner, too and was going to wake up in the cabin? There was no other possible explanation. But everything had felt so real. Even this felt real. The mattress, the pillow, the blanket. Even Connor´s touch had felt real. Was it possible to dream so lively?  
Whimpering quietly I sank back into the pillow and pulled the blanket over my head again. Suddenly I felt terribly dizzy and shortly I had actually the feeling that I was floating before I was laying again. But not in a bed.

My eyelids were terribly heavy but the headache had vanished all of the sudden. But not the feeling of dizziness. Blinking I opened my eyes and suppressed a groan when I saw Connor´s face hazily. He was leaning over me and obviously held me in his arms. When had he come back?  
"But I have my tea already", I murmured and wondered about my voice sounding so quiet and hoarse. My eyelids closed again while I felt how Connor snuggled me, his lips against my forehead.  
"Whatever you are talking about, but it is good to hear your voice again", he murmured and now I was entirely sure that he was the weird one. At least he had come into the room, had said something about tea, doctors and children and now he was wondering about what I was saying?  
"Heaven is strange", I mumbled and started another try to open my eyes just to become completely confused.

I wasn´t inside of the unfamiliar room anymore, in the soft bed. I was laying in Connor´s arms, on the ground and in the chamber underneath Muness Castle. Where Gardner had shot me and next to us sat Caleb, crying and staring at me as if I was the biggest miracle he had ever seen.  
"What´s going on? I don´t understand anything. Am I dead?"  
My gaze slid back and forth between the assassin and the child and at least the assassin shook his head. He tugged at the piece of fabric that was wrapped around me and my eyes widened in surprise when I recognized it. It was the Shroud! So...I wasn´t dead but alive again? Returned from the dead? My hand wandered to my belly again but even this time I couldn´t feel a wound. Only something that felt like a scar.  
"The Shroud healed you and brought you back", Connor confirmed my guess and when I looked into his brown eyes, I could see an expression in them that made me shiver pleasantly.  
"How do you feel?"  
I screw up my face about this question and gave a crooked smile while my head was still feeling as if I had turned around in circles for too long.  
"As if I´ve been shot."  
"Are you in pain?"  
I shook my head and stroked with my fingertips over the Shroud that was still wrapped around me. So the stories about it were true but I didn´t know if and to whom I should be grateful. To the Shroud? To Connor? To the old woman who was standing behind Caleb?

She scrutinized me for long before she approached us and reached out her hand at which Connor looked distrustfully. "Give me the Shroud. It has done its duty."  
The assassin nodded shortly and carefully began to wrap me out of the Shroud. He took care to move me as little as possible but I had closed my eyes anyway and my head rested against his chest. I had thought that you were feeling alive after you had returned from the dead. But I rather felt as if I had worked hard the whole day. I just wanted to sleep.  
"What are you going to do now?", I heard Connor asking the old woman and who had taken the Shroud and it sounded as if she was putting it back into the wooden case.  
"I will search for a new, safe place", she explained shortly.  
"Do you need help with that?"  
"No. The only thing you can do for me is to keep what happened here to yourself. Nobody else must learn about the Shroud and it would be better anyway if she doesn´t tell anyone that she already passed the threshold."

Certainly I was meant with "she" but I wasn´t sure if this threshold really existed. I had heard so many stories about paradise, heaven before. The place where the living thought that the dead were staying there. A place where you met you´re beloved ones after your death. I should have met my parents and grandparents but I had been in a dream world instead. With Connor. So what was that telling me about the life after death?  
I sighed deeply when I felt how Connor stood up, with me on his arms. He spoke a word of farewell before he carried me out of the room and through the dark corridor to the staircase. I opened my eyes shortly and saw Caleb walking next to Connor, looking at me and smiling brightly as he noticed my gaze. I smiled back and was incredibly happy to see the boy so happy himself. It touched my heart that he obviously had been afraid for me.  
And Connor?  
I raised my gaze and looked at his distinctive chin and the full lips. His gaze was directed straight ahead but he looked at me when I said: "I hope that you aren´t still reproaching yourself. It wasn´t your fault."  
I could read in his eyes that he wanted to disagree but he didn´t and just sighed deeply.  
"I am just glad that you are back."  
A smile appeared on my lips and I buried my head against his chest again. I was glad, too even though I couldn´t say that I hadn´t liked this dream world. As long as Connor was there, no place could be really bad. But I wanted that the both of us were able to enjoy the other´s presence and the reality was much better than a dream I couldn´t interpret.

* * *

When we left the castle´s ruins, it was already late afternoon and the sun began to set. Nevertheless Connor decided to set off to the Aquila. That we would take Caleb with us was beyond question. I had promised it to him in the name of us both and obviously he was more than happy that this promise was going to be kept. With a bright smile he sat on the horse we had shared before and in this moment, there was no sign of the tragedy he had experienced today. It seemed like he had taken comfort and I was admiring him for that. But his curiosity had come back, too.  
Of course he asked me how it had felt to be dead and first I wasn´t sure what to answer. But I willingly told him, that I had felt comfortable where I had been even though I didn´t go into detail. I only mentioned that I had been in pleasant company and this information seemed to be enough for him. He nodded in contentment, said that his grandfather and Ale must be alright then and I was sure about that, too.  
Caleb was pleased with my answer but not Connor. He lowered his head and placed his lips against my ear, so that only I could hear him.  
"Pleasant company? I hope not more pleasant than the current one?"  
I smirked when I thought of the lively dream in which he had been my only company.  
"Would you brew tea for me when I´m laying in bed with a headache?"  
Obviously Connor was confused about my strange counter question and delayed his answer for a moment.  
"Tea? If it would help you..."  
I smirked again and nuzzled my head against his chest before I closed my eyes and murmured: "Then you´re quite close."

I slept through the whole ride and just woke up in the middle of the night when we arrived at the bay where the Aquila had docked. Connor helped me with getting from the horse and carefully set me down on the sand because my legs were still disobeying me. I watched Caleb and him unsaddle and let off the horses before Connor gave a loud whistle towards the Aquila.  
It took a while until the swinging yawl, that had brought us ashore, appeared on the sea in the faint moonlight. It was Faulkner who was rowing it and he was really happy to see us again even though he was wondering about Lester´s absence, my weak condition and the strange boy at first. But Connor initiated him with a few words into the events and told him the real story because Faulkner knew what we had been looking for anyway. When he heard that I had come back from the dead, he instantly stared at me as if I was a saint and insisted that he wanted to carry me to the yawl.

I allowed it with a smirk but while Connor got on the yawl, too, Caleb stayed at the beach and looked back to the island. At first I thought that he felt melancholy but suddenly he took to his heels and ran off. Connor left the boat immediately and followed him. I could barely see them but they stopped sometime, before they returned slowly. But they weren´t alone.  
"That´s impossible", I murmured as I recognized the tiny horse that was trotting between them.  
Had Cherry smelled or come after us? I was glad to see her and so was Caleb. He beamed with delight while Mr. Faulkner was staring down at the animal in confusion.  
"Is that supposed to be a horse?"  
"A Shetland Pony. Her name is Cherry", I explained grinning.  
"Mr. Faulkner, I am afraid that we have to row the boat several times. The animal will come with us."  
Connor had placed his hand on Cherry´s head and looked at his first mate, entirely serious while Mr. Faulkner´s eyes were almost popping out.  
"Bu how are we supposed to get it on the ship? By lifting it up?"  
"I am sure we will find a way."  
And they did. After Caleb, Faulkner and I had got onto the ship, Connor rowed back to the beach, loaded Cherry onto the boat and rowed back again. The crew lowered the plank which Connor wedged at the boat somehow. A rickety construction, but Cherry was totally relaxed as she walked over the plank onto the ship and appeared to be very pleased about the attention she got on board. The crew was fascinated by the small animal that made no trouble during the crossing to England.


	43. Chapter 43

_The last chapter before the epilogue. ^^ I hope I can update tomorrow. It´s not that long.  
_

 ** _Reviews:_**

 ** _BlackLightAngel27:_** _I didn´t know the song before but I listened to it and I totally agree. Thinking about what happened and what´s going to happen, it´s a perfect song for them. But I have to confess that I often think about them as Tarzan and Jane and I love Phil Collins' "You´ll be in my heart". I don´t know, it also fits perfectly and even the characters are a bit like them. :D Maybe I´m too romantic._

 ** _Guesty:_** _I love Border Collies, but I fear they are too energetic for me. :D Lucky was quite lazy and that was absolutely fine with me. And yes, of course the sequel will still have Lillian. As the word says it: It´s a sequel to this story and who knows, maybe her "dream" wasn´t so unrealistic? ^^_

* * *

 **Lillian**

I was barely aware of the first days on sea. Connor had let me have his cabin once again and I rarely left it. I still felt too weak, could barely stay on my feet and so I especially did one thing: I slept.  
The sleep did me good. It was as if my body had to regain all the energy it had lost because of my death. During this time I experienced an almost loving care from Caleb and Connor who came to me often, to keep my company or ask me, if I needed something. It was as unpleasant for me as I was glad about it, most of all because I felt bad about concerning them. Especially Connor wasn´t able to hide that my condition was worrying him. I could see it in his eyes when he looked me over as if he was afraid that my heart could stop beating in every moment. Unfortunately I didn´t know how to reassure him because I neither was able to cover up my weakness. Even for that I was too tired and so I only could thank him for his care and hope inwardly that I wasn´t distracting from his duties on board because of his visits.

It was the third day on sea when I woke up from a deep, restorative sleep again. The blanket pulled up to my chin, I was laying curled up on my side, looking at the heavy fabric curtain, that was separating the sleeping area from the rest of the cabin. It was almost dark where I was laying but a single gleam of light shined through the gap underneath the curtain. From time to time I heard a silent rattle on the other side and I knew, that I wasn´t alone. Connor must be here and had let me sleep, as always.  
Slowly I sat up and ran my hands through my loose hair while I waited until the upcoming feeling of dizziness had subsided. Nevertheless I felt much better than the days before and I just wanted to get out of this bed. Carefully I stood up, didn´t want to burden my legs too soon with too much weight because they were still weak. Slowly I placed one foot in front of the other until I reached the curtain and pushed it aside.  
My gaze wandered to the desk and my lips curled into a smile when I saw Connor. He sat over a map, a carbon pencil in his hand which he put to paper from time to time, his expression concentrated. I didn´t want to disturb him but I didn´t want to lay down again either.  
So I stepped through the curtain, pinned it and approached the desk, where Connor, in the meantime, had noticed me and raised his eyes. Worried he looked me over, like always during the last days and put the carbon pencil aside. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"  
"No. I woke up by myself and wanted to get up when I noticed that you´re here", I answered his question and stopped in front of the desk. I smiled and regarded the map on the table. "What are you doing?"  
"I just had a look at the route to America again. I have a better feeling when I take care of such things before the departure."  
I nodded slowly. Seemed sensible to me and it matched Connor´s careful nature. He left nothing to chance and I saw that on the map, too after I had curiously stepped around the table, to stop next to Connor. With the carbon pencil he had drawn a line between the coast of Great Britain and the coast of North America which I followed with my fingertip. In straight letters he had made divers notes, which I didn´t understand at all.  
"What do they mean?", I asked curiously.  
"They are just reminders for me, which obstacles I have to expect and take into account. For example ocean currents or even small reefs."  
I nodded slowly because it absolutely sounded logical but I still hadn´t understand it really. I smirked. "For me it looks like you could easily sail from here..." I tapped on Great Britain. "...to there." My index finger landed close to the northern end of America.  
Connor´s lips curled into a smirk, too and he shook his head. "It is not that easy. And besides..." His warm hand grabbed mine, that was still pointing at the map and he led my finger further downwards, to the south of the map. "...we have to go there. Unless you are preferring the Province of Quebec."  
I blinked in confusion and leaned a bit forward to have a better look at the place name next to my finger. Boston. Well, in that case my knowledge in geography had failed me. I chuckled.  
"Well, I think Boston and its environment already have been cold enough for me. I have to get used to that first."  
I didn´t know exactly when I had made this decision but I was sure that I wanted to return to America with Connor. London and England in general weren´t the same for me anymore after everything that had happened. I didn´t feel as attached to my roots as I had done before. We hadn´t talked about it yet, but I had the feeling that Connor was expecting me to come with him and this thought made me happier than the one that was still seeing me in England.

"How are you?", Connor asked and brought me out of my thoughts. I looked down at his hand that was still holding mine. It was good feeling especially because a few days ago, it would have been impossible to build up any body contact. It was more an unconscious act when I turned my palm up and intertwined my fingers with his and he let me.  
"Much better", I answered honestly. "I´m tired but it´s not as bad as it has been before." I raised my eyes and smiled at him, a bit hesitantly though. During the last days I had often thought about what had happened underneath Muness Castle. I still didn´t understand it and maybe I would never do. But there was one thing I definitely knew.  
"There´s so much I have to thank you for", I began. "For example that I can sleep here again. I´m sorry that I´m always challenging your place to sleep."  
Connor smirked. "I do not mind. You have to recover and I am really glad that you are feeling better."  
"Only because of you, I guess", I said quietly and looked down to our hands again. "I don´t know if I can thank you enough for what you did. You already saved my life once. Even twice. But this time..."  
I faltered as I felt how tears rose into my eyes and I lowered my head so that my hair fell between Connor and my like a curtain and hid it. My thoughts had wandered back to the day when he had rescued me from the Thames and then to the moment in the New Gate Prison, when he had attacked this disgusting guy who had wanted to assault me. But these weren´t the only moments when he had saved me. He also had freed me from Richard, even though it had been unintentional. He always had been there for me. Always and that meant more for me than I could ever say it. In my life there had been only a few people like him. People who were actually interested in my wellbeing.

I pressed my lips together when I lost the fight against my tears and they ran over my cheeks.  
"Lillian?", Connor asked quietly and stroked my hair behind my ear. Now he could see that I was crying.  
"Lillian, you do not need to thank me. It was the Shroud that saved you. There was nothing I could do", he said and stood up. Obviously he didn´t understand what I was trying to say.  
I shook my head and looked at him. "I´m not even talking about that you wrapped me into the Shroud. I´m talking about what you did earlier."  
Now Connor cocked his head, obviously even more confused, while my gaze slid aimless through the cabin. My lips parted but I didn´t find the right words and closed them again. It was difficult for me to speak my mind out but when I looked at him again, the concern in his eyes aroused the affection I was feeling for him. It was this concern, among other things, he had stolen my heart with.  
"As strange as it sounds, but I´m grateful for what you´ve done when I...died", I started again and his gaze became even more confused.  
"I was terrified", I continued and my voice began to tremble with the thought of it. "It was the most terrible feeling I ever had. To feel how your strength leaves you even though you don´t want that. I only was able to think, that I wanted to live and what I was going to lose, if I die. But it changed when you told me that you wouldn´t leave me. To know that you´re with me, gave me the strength to suppress the fear and let go. I lost nothing. I took something with me."  
I smiled when I thought of the strange dream and gently squeezed Connor´s hand, without turning my gaze away from him. "I thank you for staying with me. Before, during and after my death. It means more to me than you can imagine."

It seemed like Connor didn´t really know what to say but for some reason, I didn´t expect an answer. It was just important for me that he knew it. That he knew what his help meant to me.  
Instead of saying something, Connor finally approached me and pulled me into his arms without hesitation. A warm prickle flowed through me and I loved to return the embrace and leaned against him, whereupon he rested his chin on my head. This closeness was still unfamiliar but not less wonderful because of that. Just as his next words.  
"I never could have left you alone, Lillian and I will always be there for you, if I can."  
A smile appeared on my lips and I tightened the grip of my arms around him. Now I was the one who didn´t know what to say but maybe it wasn´t necessary. I lifted my head to look at him, filled with the pleasant warmth, my feelings for him were causing. My smile became gentle and I couldn´t resist the temptation to reach out my hand and lay it on his cheek. Tenderly my thumb stroked over his cheekbone and Connor closed his eyes. He seemed to really enjoy this touch and that made me even happier. Not so long ago, he probably would have pushed me away.

It was a quiet knock on the door that made automatically step back from Connor. The door opened slightly and Faulkner´s head appeared. His gaze slid back and forth between Connor and me and a barely visible, knowing smile flitted across his face before he cleared his throat.  
"Sorry to disturb, but we need you outside, Captain. A little problem by the foremast."  
"It is alright, I will come in an instant", Connor answered and Faulkner just nodded, gave me a short smile and disappeared. It became silent inside the cabin for a moment until I sighed quietly and finally stepped away from the desk. The last thing I wanted, was to keep Connor away from his duties.  
"I don´t want to hold you up", I said and gave a crooked smile. "Your crew shouldn´t get a wrong impression of you because of me."  
But Connor shook his head. "Do not worry about that." He stepped around the table and shortly grabbed my hand in passing, squeezing it gently. "Do you want me to come by again?"  
My smile widened and I nodded what made him smile, too. Yes, as long as it was possible, I wanted to spend every minute with him.  
Connor let my hand go and went to the door, when I called him back. I stepped to the desk and took his tricorn, which he had placed there. I gave a crooked smile when he turned around to me.  
"The Captain shouldn´t forget it, shouldn´t he?"  
I approached him and stretched to put the hat on his head. A smirk curled his lips and my heart began to beat faster when I looked at them. I couldn´t help but to move my hand down to the back of his neck, placing my lips on his. It was our first kiss since we had left the cabin on Unst and for a moment I was unsure if I was doing the right thing or was acting against his will. But when Connor returned the kiss, I knew that it was right.

* * *

One day later, we arrived at the bay near the assassin´s hideout. In the meantime I had almost recovered completely from the strains of my death, even though this thought alone still required getting used to. Looking back, it felt more like I had been asleep, dreamt very strange and woke up again. But the scar on my belly was going to remind me for the rest of my life, that it actually had been ended already.  
But Faulkner remained the only one we told about it. The assassins didn´t learn about my death because the death of their grandmaster was understandably hard for them and they probably wouldn´t understand, why I was standing in front of them with Connor and Lester didn´t. They thanked us for our report and wished us all the best. In the end I was glad that we didn´t stay for long but when one of the assassin gave me in addition to my luggage, which I had left behind, a letter from Theresa, this good feeling vanished again. My mentor wrote that she was still in Sussex but not in a good condition. It became painfully aware to me, that I had barely spent a thought on her during the last days and even worse: I had mentally prepared myself to return to America with Connor.  
But this decision wavered now and I stopped, when Connor was already making his way back to the bay, where the Aquila was prepared for the direct departure home.

When he noticed that I wasn´t following him, the assassin stopped, came back and looked at me concerned. "Is everything alright?"  
I only shook my head and gave him the letter which he read through. I could see different emotions on his face now. First incomprehension, then concern and finally realization. When he looked at me again, he appeared to be disbelieving and sad. He certainly knew why I was hesitating.  
"You are not going to come with me?", he asked flatly.  
I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn´t know it myself. Of course I wanted to come with him but I had the feeling that I had to go to Sussex. That I had to take care of Theresa after she had done the same for me, so many years ago. And suddenly I was afraid. Afraid of the future. Connor and I never really talked about how we wanted to go on, even though we obviously had been in agreement, that I would come back to America with him.

But what was going to happen after we arrived? When we came to rest. Would everything still be the same between us? What was this "between us" anyway?  
Hesitantly I asked him all these questions and first, Connor didn´t have an answer. He just looked at me, before he turned his eyes away and pressed his lips together.  
"So you do not want to come with me, because you are afraid?"  
In my ears it sounded like a reproach which I didn´t want to accept.  
"Not only because of that. I...have to take care of Theresa. She´s my family."  
First Connor only stared at some spot in the environment and I began to fear that he would be as cold as ever again. I already felt tears rising into my eyes but then Connor sighed deeply, approached and embraced me. While I leaned against his chest, he rested his chin on my head and stroked gently over my back.  
"Does it mean that I shall not wait for you? That you are not going to leave England?"  
To answer this question was much easier. "I´m going to use that time to think about everything. But one day, I will come to America. No matter if you´re waiting for me or not."  
"I will."  
My heart skipped a beat with these words and I released myself from the embrace to pull him a bit down to me and place my lips on his. We got lost in a bittersweet kiss that made every word of farewell needless. I didn´t know how long I was going to stay but I was sure that I would return to America one day and stay there. If Connor really had waited for me until then, I wouldn´t be worried about the future anymore.  
When we ended the kiss, we stayed in a close embrace for a moment, until Connor finally had to go back to the Aquila. I watched him going down the path but suddenly I thought of a question, I had wanted to ask him long ago.

When I called him and ran towards him, he was confused at first.  
"No matter if you said it or not: What does...sosse raosi..."  
"So:se raotsi:tsa?", Connor smirked and when I nodded, he grabbed my hand and stroked his thumb over the back of my hand while he looked into my eyes.  
"It is my people´s name for a flower that used to grow everywhere in the environment of our village. The Atamasco Lily or just White Lily. It is a very delicate plant with petite blossoms but very resistant. It resists all kind of weather, every change of the ground and somehow, you reminded me of it."  
I smiled. "Lily. Lillian."*  
Connor nodded.  
"That´s almost romantic." I couldn´t hold back a grin while Connor screw up his face but smirked slightly.  
"Will you still say that, if I tell you that the lily grows much better in marshland?"  
My eyebrows rose and now I was the one who screw up her face. "That makes it less romantic."  
Connor chuckled before he pulled me closer to him, pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and went finally back to the Aquila. I stayed behind, melancholy following him with my eyes, before I turned away and faced my journey to Sussex.

* * *

 _* The name Lillian comes from the latin word "lilium" which means "Lily"_


	44. Chapter 44

_And here it is. The final chapter. I want to thank everyone for reading this story and for supporting it. I´m already excited to start the translation of the sequel and I hope, that I will see some of you in the reviews again. ;)  
_

 ** _Reviews:_**

 ** _Betterdays623:_** _Well like Lillian said it, she wasn´t sure if she actually has a future with Connor. At least they went through a lot of tough experiences and she wasn´t sure if their feelings would be the same when they live together. It´s a high risk for her, to go to America without knowing that. As a woman in this time, it would be nearly impossible for her to start a new life on her own. But they are going to have their happy ending. ;)  
_

 ** _Guesty:_** _Oh, I´m 20 and still love watching Disney movies. You´re never too old for dreaming. :D Tarzan and Jane are literally Connor and Lillian. :D But you should listen to Phil Collins' "You´ll be in my heart". It really is my one and only Lillian and Connor song. The lyrics are exactly what Connor could say to Lillian and it fits perfectly to their relationship. In the sequel, for example, they are often confronted with the differences between their cultures and believes and have to find a way to combine them. And one line in the song says: "_ I know we're different but deep inside us, We're not that different at all". _God, I love it. I can remember that I discovered the similarity after I had already written some chapters of the sequel and it really was a coincidence. By now I know the German lyrics by heart. :D And I´m really looking forward to your reviews. ;) I´m sure I will recognize you._

 ** _Edit:_** _The sequel is out. I had to rate it M so it´s not visiible in the category. You can find it on my profile ;)_

* * *

 **Epilogue**

 _January 1784 – Six months later_

 _Lillian,_

 _You know that I never used to be person who was great with words and emotions. But I wanted Maria to write these words for me so that I can tell you, what I never was able to say in front of you._  
 _You always were my favourite student. Not only because you were always attentive but especially because you never refused what I was teaching you. I never had to hear any objections from you._  
 _When your uncle took you to America, I was shocked because I feared for the good education I had given to you. Like I was worried about your emotional state and obviously these concerns were justified._  
 _How shocked I was, when you suddenly stood in my house, dressed in ridiculous clothes and with a behaviour, I wasn´t used to. There is no doubt that you still were an obedient, young thing but I quickly noticed that it changed from time to time. You disobeyed, gave counter-arguments all of the sudden when we were discussing about diverse topics and even worse: You brought this savage into my house – and I won´t stop calling him that._  
 _I assisted you with helping him and at first I thought I could get my own back on the templars with it. But I had to discover that you became more and more involved in everything and I really was concerned. I doubted that you would put up with the strain. Especially after you´ve been stupid enough to throw your heart in front of the assassin´s feet. I was certain that you were going to be destroyed by it, especially when Gardner came to us._  
 _But you surprised me. What you did, was stupid. As well as turning a deaf ear to my advices. I always told you that women have to beware men but I didn´t mean that we should get our ways. You did it somehow and that was stupid. You could have died and then this journey into the North..._  
 _But I have to admit: I´m proud of you._  
 _Even though I think that you´re going to stumble, I´m sure that you will find your way, even if it leads you back to this godless country and into the arms of your savage. I don´t have to tell you what I´m thinking of him but you wouldn´t listen anyway. So there is nothing else left for me than supporting you._  
 _When you´re holding this letter in your hands, I´m not on this earth anymore and you know that I´ve sold all my property and invested it in mortgage bonds for you. Take them. Do whatever you want with the money as long as you don´t waste it on brotherhoods and especially not on the savage! He wouldn´t know what to do with it anyway._  
 _Be happy, child. If there is one of my girls who deserves it, it´s you. Even though you have a bad taste in men._

 _Theresa_

* * *

With a smile, I put the letter back into its envelope and turned my gaze out of the carriage´s window. I had read it several times already and it touched me every time. Theresa really never had thrown words about and they never had been quite friendly either. But even though the choice of words in this letter was typical for my mentor, her message was clear: She was proud of me and wished me to go my own way. Even though that she had been a woman of the old school and she should have been against it. But to know that she had wanted to support me, gave me the confidence and courage I needed, to finally leave England.

I had spent four months in Sussex and had thought about what I wanted for my life and it had become clear to me that there was nothing for me in England anymore and I linked too many bad memories with this country. I loved it, but my heart was still somewhere else. In America and I was going to start a new life there. An independent life, free from the rigid society of England. But at the same time I knew, that this way was going to be full of stones. I will have to adjust, get used to other mentalities. But I knew that I wasn´t alone with it.

I was sitting in a carriage from Boston to the Davenport Homestead and right in front of me sat Maria. After Theresa´s death, she had lost her position as a maid but she became a good friend to me and had also decided to turn her back to England and accompany me. She was totally excited and curiously looked out the window the whole time, out to the snow covered wilderness around Boston that was gleaming red in the light of the setting sun. It was beautiful and was bringing back memories at the same time.  
Almost a year ago I had followed a hooded man through this landscape. With the aim to get to England soon. I had never expected what was going to happen during the following months and that I would be on my way to the homestead one year later. On my way to this hooded guy that had driven me mad during our hiking and later on.  
But had he actually waited for me?  
We hadn´t stayed in contact during the last months but I had thought about him every day. I wrote him a letter that we were going to come, on the day before our departure. But of course I hadn´t been able to tell him, when we were going to arrive and I hadn´t seen Connor in Boston. So I was on my way into the uncertainty again and deep inside me, I had the fear that Connor had forgotten me during all this time. That he hadn´t felt deeply enough to wait for me. I didn´t know what I would do, if this was the case.

When the carriage stopped in front of the tavern of Davenport, my heart was already in my mouth and when I got out, Corrine was the first person I saw. She stood in the open door and looked at me with wide eyes before she approached me, arms stretched out and pulled me into a warm embrace.  
"Oh god, darling. I already stopped hoping that you would come back one day. You know, the blonde little boy is constantly talking about you." She held me a bit away from herself and scrutinized me critically. "Still so thin, I see."  
I gave her a warm smile but was captivated by a thrill of excitement when she spoke about Caleb.  
"Is Caleb here?", I asked instantly and to my delight, she nodded.  
"He´s in the tavern. The boy is helping wherever he can."  
Now she looked to Maria, who I introduced to her and who was also welcomed. Corrine invited us inside, offered us to prepare rooms for us and before we were able to say something, our luggage was already on its way upstairs.

The tavern was full of men and women who wanted to warm themselves up after a cold day of work. He had barely entered, when we were immediately greeted by settlers and even some sailors. But it was a blonde boy who gave me the biggest joy of reunion. He stormed towards me in breakneck speed and almost jumped into my arms.  
"You´re here!", Caleb cried out excited but frowned when he looked me over. "How do you look like?"  
Hair done, face powdered, an elegant dress. I looked like a British lady and the boy had never seen me like this before. But I laughed about his confused gaze. I really had enjoyed to "dress myself up" again, like Theresa had called it, after I turned up in Sussex with trousers. Something I certainly never would and wanted to get rid of.

I tousled the boy´s hair and earned me an indignant snort.  
"How are you, little one?"  
"Very good." Caleb grinned. "I´m living with Connor in this huge house. I have a room for myself, can you imagine that? And Cherry is very well, too. Her new box is bigger than the old one."  
His excited explanations made me smile widely and I pulled him into my arms for a short embrace. I had missed him. But there was still someone, I had missed, too.  
"Where is Connor?", I asked Caleb who nodded towards the door.  
"Home. Shall I bring you there?"  
I smiled and tousled his hair again. "I would like to go alone, if you don´t mind. I´m sure you have enough to do here."  
The boy sulked but nodded.  
"Would you take care of my friend Maria?"  
His gaze wandered to the young woman who smiled at him and he nodded. I thanked him and looked shortly to Maria who assured me that she was going to be alright. She received a thankful smile before I left the tavern in a hurry and went over the snow covered path and the bridge towards the mansion.

My excitement grew with every second and was almost unbearable when I finally stood in front of the door. Some windows of the house were enlightened but not a sound was to hear from inside. I knocked hesitantly and everything stayed silent at first. But finally I heard steps coming closer to the door and my heart skipped a beat when it opened and he stood in front of me.  
Connor only stared at me motionless for a moment and I stared back. I soaked in every detail of him. Noticed every small change. His hair, which had become a bit longer, especially on the sides of his head. An almost healed bruise under his chin, whose origin I didn´t even want to know. He hadn´t changed much and especially my feelings for him hadn´t changed, too.

When he said my name in a questioning voice, I smiled and he stepped closer to me and took me in his arms. The feeling of being close to him again, to feel the warmth of his body against mine and to breathe in his scent, was indescribable and it became aware to me, how much I had missed him. I couldn´t stop myself from crying and when he noticed it, he broke the embrace and put both hands to my cheeks to wipe my tears gently away.  
"You are here finally", he murmured with a smile and I returned it.  
So he really had waited for me.

Connor took my hand and pulled me gently inside the warm house, to lock out the coldness outside. He instantly wrapped his arms around my waist and looked at me.  
"Are you going to stay?"  
I smiled but instead of answering, I stepped towards him and kissed him. The assassin sighed and pulled me closer, burying his hand inside my hair.  
"I take it as a yes", he spoke against my lips and when I nodded, a bright smile appeared on his lips. He kissed me again but I had to suppress a quiet squeal, when he suddenly lifted me on his arms and whirled me around. I laughed and it was music to my ears, when he joined in my laughing.  
I had never believed that I could be so happy. All my life I had thought that I had no possibilities to make my own luck. I had made myself dependent on others. But now I had freed myself. Had abandoned all caution to enjoy this particular moment which became even more beautiful, when Connor leaned his forehead against mine and whispered something, whose wording I didn´t understand, but whose meaning I knew deep inside of my heart.  
"Konnorónhkhwa."  
 _I love you._

 _ **~ Freedom is not a dream. It is boundless but lies behind the walls we built ourselves.**_

\- Unknown


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